One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  My pintle is big and the little one said unto me, “Tilt boldly

  therewith at my inwards and quit thee thy need.”

  Quoth I, “’Tis unlawful;” but he, “It is lawful with me;” So to

  it I fell, supporting myself by his rede.’

  When Kemerezzeman heard these words, the light in his eyes became darkness and he said, ‘O King, thou hast in thy palace women and female slaves, that have not their like in this age: may not these suffice thee without me? Do thy will with them and leave me.’ ‘Thou speakest truth,’ answered she; ‘but it is not with them that one who loves thee can heal himself of torment and fever; for when tastes and inclinations are corrupted, they hearken to other than good counsel. So leave arguing and hear what the poet says:

  Seest not the fruits of the market, how of two kinds they be? Some are for figs, but more for the fruit of the sycamore-tree.

  And what another says:

  Full many an one, whose ankle-rings are dumb, her girdle sounds;

  So this one is content and that a tale of need must tell.

  Thou’dst have me, foolwise, in her charms forget thee. God

  forfend I, that a true believer am, should turn an infidel!

  No, by a whisker that makes mock of all her curls, I swear, Nor

  maid nor strumpet from thy side shall me by guile compel!

  And a third:

  O pearl of loveliness, to love thee is my faith; Yea, and my

  choice of all the faiths that have been aye.

  Women I have forsworn, indeed, for thy sweet sake, So that the

  folk avouch I’m grown a monk to-day

  And a fourth:

  Compare not a wench with a boy and to the spy, Who says to thee,

  “This is wrong,” pay thou no heed.

  ‘Twixt a woman whose feet one’s lips kiss and a smooth-faced

  fawn, Who kisses the earth, the diff’rence is great indeed.

  And a fifth:

  My soul be thy ransom! Indeed, I’ve chosen thee out with intent,

  Because thou layest no eggs and dost not menstruate.

  For, an I inclined to foregather with harlots, upon my faith, The

  wide, wide world for the brats I should get would prove too

  strait.

  And a sixth:

  Quoth she to me, — and sore enraged for wounded pride was she, For

  she in sooth had bidden me to that which might not be, —

  “An if thou swive me not forthright, as one should swive his

  wife, If thou be made a cuckold straight, reproach it not to

  me.

  Meseems thy yard is made of wax, for very flaccidness; For, when

  I rub it with my hand, it softens instantly.”

  And a seventh:

  Quoth she (for I to lie with her would not consent), “O fool,

  that followest on thy folly to the extent,

  If thou reject my kaze for Kibleh to thy yard, We’ll show

  thee one wherewith thou shalt be sure content.”

  And an eighth:

  She proffered me a tender kaze; But I, “I will not swive,”

  replied.

  She drew back, saying, “From the truth Needs must he turn who’s

  turned aside;

  And swiving frontwise in our day Is all abandoned and decried;”

  Then turned and showed me, as it were A lump of silver, her

  backside.

  “Well done, O mistress mine! No more Am I in pain for thee,” I

  cried,

  “Whose poke of all God’s openings Is sure the amplest and

  most wide!”

  And a ninth:

  Men crave forgiveness with uplifted hands; But women pray with

  lifted legs, I trow.

  Out on it for a pious piece of work! God shall exalt it to the

  deeps below.

  When Kemerezzeman heard these verses and was certified that there was no escaping compliance with her will, he said, ‘O King, if thou must needs have it so, swear to me that thou wilt use me thus but once, though it avail not to stay thy debauched appetite; and that thou wilt never again require me of this to the end of time; so it may be God will purge me of the sin.’ ‘I promise thee that,’ replied she, ‘hoping that God of His favour will relent towards us and blot out our mortal sins; for the compass of the Divine forgiveness is not indeed so strait, but it may altogether embrace us and absolve us of the excess of our transgressions and bring us to the light of righteousness out of the darkness of error. As most excellent well saith the poet:

  The folk imagine of us twain an evil thing, I ween, And with

  their hearts and souls, indeed, they do persist therein.

  Come, let us justify their thought and free them thus from guilt,

  This once, ‘gainst us; and then will we repent us of our

  sin.’

  Then she swore to him a solemn oath, by Him whose existence is unconditioned, that this thing should befall betwixt them but once and never again for all time, and vowed to him that the desire of him was driving her to death and perdition. So he went with her, on this condition, to her privy closet, that she might quench the fire of her passion, saying, ‘There is no power and no virtue save in God the Most High, the Supreme! This is the ordinance of the All-powerful, the All-wise!’ And did off his trousers, in the utmost confusion, with the tears running from his eyes for stress of affright; whereat she smiled and carrying him on to a couch, said to him, ‘After this night, thou shalt see nought that will displease thee.’ Then she turned to him, kissing and clipping him and twining leg with leg, and said to him, ‘Put thy hand, between my thighs, to that thou wottest of, so haply it may be won to stand up after prostration.’ He wept and said, ‘I am not good at aught of this.’ But she said, ‘As I live, an thou do as I bid thee, it shall profit thee!’ So he put out his hand, with a heart on fire for confusion, and found her thighs fresher than cream and softer than silk. The touching of them pleasured him and he moved his hand hither and thither, till he came to a dome abounding in benedictions and movements and said in himself, ‘Belike this king is a hermaphrodite, nor male nor female.’ So he said to her, ‘O King, I cannot find that thou hast any manly gear, even as other men; what then moved thee to do thus?’ When the princess heard this, she laughed till she fell backward, and said, ‘O my beloved, how quickly thou hast forgotten the nights we have lain together!’ Then she made herself known to him and he knew her for his wife, the Lady Budour, daughter of King Ghaïour. So he embraced her and she embraced him and they kissed each other; then they lay down on the bed of delight, repeating the words of the poet:

  Whenas the softness of a shape did bid him to my arms, That, as

  it were a trailing vine with twinings did him ply

  And on the hardness of his heart its very softness shed, He

  yielded, though at first he feigned reluctance to comply,

  And came, provided with a stock of caution safe and sure, Fearing

  lest, when he did appear, the railers should him spy.

  His waist of buttocks maketh moan, that lay upon his feet A very

  camel’s load, what time he would a-walking hie.

  Girt with his glances’ trenchant swords and cuirassed with the

  mail Of his bright locks, as ‘twere the dusk new fallen from

  the sky,

  His fragrance brought me from afar the news of his approach, And

  forth, as bird let out from cage, to meet my love fled I.

  I laid my cheek within his way, beneath his sandal-soles, And lo,

  their dust’s collyrium healed the ailment of mine eye!

  With an embrace I hoisted up the flag of loves new linked And

  loosed the knot of my delight, that made as ’twould deny.

  Then let I call high festival, and gladness, all unmixed With any

  thought of troublousness, came flocking in reply.

  The full moon handselled with th
e stars the teeth, like grains of

  pearl, That on the laughing face of wine now dance, now

  stirless lie.

  So in the niche of their delight I gave me up to joys, The

  veriest sinner would repent if he their like might try.

  The morning-glories of his face be pledge I’ll ne’er, in him,

  Forget the writ that biddeth us One only glorify!

  Then they told one another all that had befallen them since their separation, after which he began to upbraid her, saying, ‘What moved thee to deal with me as thou hast done this night?’ ‘Do not reproach me,’ replied she; ‘for I did this but by way of jest and for increase of pleasure and gladness.’ When it was morning and the day arose with its light and shone, she sent to King Armanous and acquainted him with the truth of the case and that she was wife to Kemerezzeman. Moreover, she told him their story and the manner of their separation and how his daughter Heyat en Nufous was yet a maid. He marvelled greatly at their story and bade record it in letters of gold. Then he turned to Kemerezzeman and said, ‘O king’s son, art thou minded to marry my daughter and become my son-in-law?’ ‘I must consult the princess Budour,’ answered he; ‘for I owe her favour without stint.’ So he took counsel with her and she said, ‘This is well seen; marry her and I will be her handmaid, for I am her debtor for kindness and favour and good offices, more by token that we are here in her place and that the king her father has loaded us with benefits.’ When he saw that she inclined to this and was not jealous of Heyat en Nufous, he agreed with her thereupon and told King Armanous what she had said, whereat he rejoiced greatly. Then he went out and seating himself in his chair of estate, assembled all the Viziers and Amirs and chamberlains and grandees, to whom he related the whole story and acquainted them with his desire to marry his daughter to Kemerezzeman and make him king in the stead of the princess Budour. Whereupon said they all, ‘Since he is the husband of the princess Budour, who hath been our Sultan till now, whilst we deemed her King Armanous’s son-in-law, we are all content to have him to Sultan over us and will be his servants, nor will we swerve from his allegiance.’ At this Armanous rejoiced and summoning Cadis and witnesses and the chief officers of state, let draw up the contract of marriage between Kemerezzeman and his daughter, the princess Heyat en Nufous. Then he held high festival, giving sumptuous banquets and bestowing costly dresses of honour upon the Amirs and captains; moreover, he gave alms to the poor and needy and freed the prisoners. All the folk rejoiced in the coming of Kemerezzeman to the throne, wishing him abiding glory and prosperity and happiness and renown, and as soon as he became king, he remitted the customs-dues and released all that remained in prison. Thus he abode a long while, ordering himself worthily towards his subjects, and lived with his wives in peace and happiness and content, lying the night with each of them in turn. And indeed all his troubles and afflictions were blotted out from him and he forgot his father King Shehriman and his former estate of honour and worship with him.

  After awhile, God the Most High blessed him with two sons, as they were two shining moons, the elder, whose name was prince Amjed, by Queen Budour, and the younger, whose name was prince Asaad and who was comelier than his brother, by Queen Heyat en Nufous. They were reared in splendour and delight and were instructed in penmanship and science and the arts of government and horsemanship and other polite arts and accomplishments, till they attained the extreme of perfection and the utmost limit of beauty and grace, and both men and women were ravished by their charms. They grew up together, till they reached the age of seventeen, and loved one another so dear that they were never apart, eating and drinking together and sleeping in one bed; and all the people envied them their beauty and concord. When they came to man’s estate and were endowed with every perfection, their father was wont, as often as he went on a journey, to make them sit in his stead by turns in the place of judgment, and each did justice among the folk one day at a time. Now, as unalterable fate and foreordained destiny would have it, Queen Budour fell in love with Asaad, son of Queen Heyat en Nufous, and the latter became enamoured of Amjed; and each of them used to sport and play with the other’s son, kissing him and straining him to her bosom, whilst each thought that the other’s behaviour arose but from motherly affection. On this wise, passion got the mastery of the two women’s hearts and they became madly enamoured of the two youths, so that when the other’s son came in to either of them, she would press him to her bosom and long for him never to be parted from her; till, at last, when waiting grew tedious to them and they found no way to enjoyment, they refused meat and drink and forewent the solace of sleep. Presently, the King went out to hunt, bidding his sons sit to do justice in his stead, each one day in turn, according to their wont. So prince Amjed sat on the throne the first day, ordering and forbidding, appointing and deposing, giving and denying; and Queen Heyat en Nufous took a scroll and wrote to him the following letter, suing for his favour and discovering to him her passion, in fine, altogether putting off the mask and giving him to know that she desired to enjoy him. ‘From the wretched lover, the sorrowful severed one, whose youth is wasted in the love of thee and whose torment for thee is prolonged. Were I to recount to thee the extent of my affliction and what I suffer for sadness, the passion that is in my breast and all that I endure for weeping and groaning and the rending of my sorrowful heart, my unremitting cares and my ceaseless griefs and all my suffering for severance and sadness and the ardour of desire, no letter could contain it nor calculation compass it. Indeed, earth and heaven are straitened upon me, and I have no hope and no trust but in thee. I am come nigh upon death and suffer the horrors of dissolution; burning is sore upon me, and the pangs of separation and estrangement. Were I to set out the yearnings that possess me, no scrolls would suffice thereto: and of the excess of my affliction and wasting away, I have made the following verses:

  Were I to set down all I feel of heart-consuming dole And all the

  transport and unease that harbour in my soul,

  Nor ink nor pen in all the world thereafter would remain, Nor

  aught from east to west were left of paper or of scroll.’

  Then she folded up the silken tresses of her hair, whose cost swallowed up treasures, in the letter, and wrapping it in a piece of rich silk, scented with musk and ambergris, laid it in a handkerchief; after which she gave it to an eunuch and bade him carry it to prince Amjed. The eunuch took it, knowing not what the future hid for him, (for He who knoweth the hidden things ordereth events according to His will,) and going in to the prince, kissed the earth before him and gave him the letter. He opened it and reading it, was ware that his father’s wife was in intent an adulteress and a traitress to her husband; whereat he was exceeding wroth and railed at women and their works, saying, ‘May God curse women, the traitresses, that lack reason and religion!’ Then he drew his sword and said to the eunuch, ‘Out on thee, thou wicked slave! Dost thou carry adulterous messages for thy lord’s wife? By Allah, there is no good in thee, O black of hue and heart, O foul of face and nature!’ So saying, he smote him on the neck and severed his head from his body; then, folding the letter in the handkerchief, he thrust it into his pocket and went in to his own mother and told her what had passed, reviling and reproaching her and saying, ‘Each one of you is worse than the other; and by God the Great, did I not fear to transgress against the rights of my father and my brother Asaad, I would assuredly go in to her and cut off her head, even as I cut off that of her eunuch!’ Then he went out in a great rage; and when the news reached Queen Heyat en Nufous of what he had done with her messenger, she reviled him and cursed him and plotted perfidy against him. He passed the night, sick with anger and disgust and concern, nor was meat nor drink nor sleep sweet to him. Next morning, prince Asaad went out in his turn to rule the folk in his father’s stead and sat in the audience-chamber, judging and administering justice, appointing and deposing, ordering and forbidding, giving and bestowing, till near the time of afternoon-prayer, wh
en Queen Budour sent for a crafty old woman and discovering to her what was in her heart, wrote a letter to prince Asaad, complaining of the excess of her love and longing for him, as follows: ‘From her who perisheth for passion and love-longing to the goodliest of mankind in form and nature, him who is conceited of his own loveliness and glories in his amorous grace, who turneth away from those that seek to enjoy him and refuseth to show favour unto the lowly and the self-abasing, him who is cruel and disdainful; from the despairing lover to prince Asaad, lord of surpassing beauty and excelling grace, of the moon-bright face and the flower-white brow and dazzling splendour. This is my letter to him whose love consumes my body and rends my skin and my bones. Know that my patience fails me and I am at a loss what to do: longing and wakefulness weary me and sleep and patience deny themselves to me; but mourning and watching stick fast to me and desire and passion torment me, and the extremes of languor and sickness. Yet may my life be thy ransom, though it be thy pleasure to slay her who loveth thee, and may God prolong thy life and preserve thee from every ill!’ After this, she wrote the following verses:

  Fate hath so ordered it that I must needs thy lover be, O thou

  whose charms shine as the moon, when at the full is she!

  All beauty and all eloquence thou dost in thee contain And over

  all the world of men thou’rt bright and brave to see.

  That thou my torturer shouldst be, I am indeed content, So but

  thou wilt one glance bestow, as almous-deed, on me.

  Happy, thrice happy is her lot who dieth for thy love! No good is

  there in any one that doth not cherish thee.