One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  We continued to converse thus, and as often as I was silent, she would begin, till the most part of the night was spent, whilst the burning aloes-wood diffused its fragrance and I was in such case as, if the Khalif had suspected it, would have made him wild with longing for it. Then said she to me, “Verily, thou art one of the most pleasant and accomplished of men and passing well- bred; but there lacks one thing.” “What is that?” asked I, and she said, “If but thou knewest how to sing verses to the lute!” I answered, “I was once passionately fond of this art, but finding I had no gift for it, I abandoned it, thou reluctantly. Indeed, I should love to sing somewhat well at this present and fulfil my night’s enjoyment.” “Meseemeth thou hintest a wish for the lute to be brought?” said she, and I, “It is thine to decide, if thou wilt so far favour me, and to thee be the thanks.” So she called for a lute and sang a song, in a manner whose like I never heard, both for sweetness of voice and perfection of style and skill in playing, in short, for general excellence. Then said she, “Knowest thou who made the air and words of this song?” “No,” answered I; and she said, “The words are so and so’s and the air is Isaac’s.” “And hath Isaac then (may I be thy ransom!) such a talent?” asked I. “Glory be to Isaac!” replied she. “Indeed he excels in this art.” “Glory be to Allah,” exclaimed I, “who hath given this man what He hath vouchsafed unto none other!” And she said, “How would it be, if thou heardest this song from himself?” Thus did we till break of day, when there came to her an old woman, as she were her nurse, and said to her, “The time is come.” So she rose and said to me, “Keep what hath passed between us to thyself; for meetings of this kind are in confidence.” “May I be thy ransom!” answered I. “I needed no enjoinder of this.” Then I took leave of her and she sent a damsel to open the door to me; so I went forth and retuned to my own house, where I prayed the morning prayer and slept.

  Presently, there came to me a messenger from the Khalif; so I went to him and passed the day in his company. When the night came, I called to mind my yesternight’s pleasure, a thing from which none but a fool could be content to abstain, and betook myself to the street, where I found the basket, and seating myself therein, was drawn up to the place in which I had passed the previous night. When the lady saw me, she said, “Indeed, thou art assiduous,” And I answered, “Meseems rather that I am neglectful.” Then we fell to conversing and passed the night as before in talking and reciting verses and telling rare stories, each in turn, till daybreak, when I returned home. I prayed the morning prayer and slept, and there came to me a messenger from Mamoun. So I went to him and spent the day with him till nightfall, when he said to me, “I conjure thee to sit here, whilst I go on an occasion and come back.” As soon as he was gone, my thoughts turned to the lady and calling to mind my late delight, I recked little what might befall me from the Commander of the Faithful. So I sprang up and going out, ran to the street aforesaid, where I sat down in the basket and was drawn up as before. When the lady saw me, she said, “Verily, thou art a sincere friend to us.” “Yea, by Allah!” answered I; and she said, “Hath thou made our house thine abiding-place?” “May I be thy ransom!” replied I. “A guest hath a right to three days’ entertainment, and if I return after this, ye are free to shed my blood.” Then we passed the night as before; and when the time of departure drew near, I bethought me that Mamoun would certainly question me nor be content save with a full explanation: so I said to her, “I see thee to be of those who delight in singing. Now I have a cousin who is handsomer than I and higher of station and more accomplished; and he is the most intimate of all God’s creatures with Isaac.” “Art thou a spunger?” asked she. “Verily, thou art importunate.” Quoth I, “It is for thee to decide;” and she, “If thy cousin be as thou sayst, it would not displease me to make his acquaintance.”

  Then I left her and returned to my house, but hardly had I reached it, when the Khalif’s messengers came down on me and carried me before him by main force. I found him seated on a chair, wroth with me, and he said to me, “O Isaac, art thou a traitor to thine allegiance?” “No, by Allah, O Commander of the Faithful!” answered I. “What hast thou then to say?” asked he. “Tell me the truth.” And I replied, “I will well; but in private.” So he signed to his attendants, who withdrew to a distance, and I told him the case, adding, “I promised to bring thee to visit her.” And he said, “Thou didst well.” Then we spent the day in our usual pleasures, but Mamoun’s heart was taken with the lady, and hardly was the appointed time come, when we set out. As we went along, I cautioned him, “Look that thou call me not by my name before her; but do thou sing and I will accompany thee.” He assented to this, and we fared on till we came to the house, where we found two baskets hanging ready. So we sat down in them and were drawn up to the usual place, where the damsel came forward and saluted us. When Mamoun saw her, he was amazed at her beauty and grace; and she began to entertain him with stories and verses. Presently, she called for wine and we fell to drinking, she paying him especial attention and delighting in him and he repaying her in kind. Then he took the lute and sang an air, after which she said to me, “And is thy cousin also a merchant?” “Yes,” answered I, and she said, “Indeed, ye resemble one another nearly.” But when Mamoun had drunk three pints, he grew merry with wine and called out saying, “Ho, Isaac!” “At thy service, O Commander of the Faithful,” answered I. Quoth he, “Sing me such an air.”

  As soon as the lady knew that he was the Khalif, she withdrew to another place, and when I had made an end of my song, Mamoun said to me, “See who is the master of this house;” whereupon an old woman hastened to make answer, saying, “It belongs to Hassan ben Sehl.” “Fetch him to me,” said the Khalif. So she went away and after awhile in came Hassan, to whom said Mamoun, “Hath thou a daughter?” “Yes,” answered he; “her name is Khedijeh.” “Is she married?” asked the Khalif. “No, by Allah!” replied Hassan. “Then,” said Mamoun, “I ask her of thee in marriage.” “O Commander of the Faithful,” replied Hassan, “she is thy handmaiden and at thy commandment.” Quoth Mamoun, “I take her to wife at a present dower of thirty thousand dinars, which thou shalt receive this very morning; and do thou being her to us this next night.” And Hassan answered, “I hear and obey.”

  ‘Then he went out, and the Khalif said to me, “O Isaac, tell this story to no one.” So I kept it secret till Mamoun’s death. Surely never was man’s life to fulfilled with delights as was mine these four days’ time, whenan I companied with Mamoun by day and with Khedijeh by night; and by Allah, never saw I among men the like of Mamoun, neither among women have I ever set eyes on the like of Khedijeh, no, nor on any that came near her in wit and understanding and pleasant speech!’

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  THE SCAVENGER AND THE NOBLE LADY OF BAGHDAD.

  At Mecca, one day, in the season of pilgrimage, whilst the people were making the enjoined circuits about the Holy House and the place of compassing was crowded, a man laid hold of the covering of the Kaabeh and cried out, from the bottom of his heart, saying, ‘I beseech Thee, O God, that she may once again be wroth with her husband and that I may lie with her!’ A company of the pilgrims heard him and falling on him, loaded him with blows and carried him to the governor of the pilgrims, to whom said they, ‘O Amir, we found this man in the Holy Places, saying thus and thus.’ The governor commanded to hang him; but he said, ‘O Amir, I conjure thee, by the virtue of the Prophet (whom God bless and preserve), hear my story and after do with me as thou wilt.’ ‘Say on,’ quoth the Amir. ‘Know then, O Amir,’ said the man, ‘that I am a scavenger, who works in the sheep-slaughterhouses and carries off the blood and the offal to the rubbish-heaps. One day, as I went along with my ass loaded, I saw the people running away and one of them said to me, “Enter this alley, lest they kill thee.” Quoth I, “What ails the folk to run away?” And he answered, “It is the eunuchs in attendance on the wife of one of the notables, who drive the people out
of her way and beat them all, without distinction.” So I turned aside with the ass and stood, awaiting the dispersal of the crowd. Presently up came a number of eunuchs with staves in their hands, followed by nigh thirty women, and amongst them a lady as she were a willow-wand or a thirsty gazelle, perfect in beauty and elegance and amorous grace. When she came to the mouth of the passage where I stood, she turned right and left and calling one of the eunuchs, whispered in his ear; whereupon he came up to me and laying hold of me, bound me with a rope and haled me along after him, whilst another eunuch took my ass and made off with it. I knew not what was to do and the people followed us, crying out, “This is not allowed of God! What has this poor scavenger done that he should be bound with ropes?” and saying to the eunuchs, “Have pity on him and let him go, so God have pity on you!” And I the while said in myself, “Doubtless the eunuch seized me, because his mistress smelt the offal and it sickened her. Belike she is with child or ailing; but there is no power and no virtue save in God the Most High, the Supreme!” So I walked on behind them, till they stopped at the door of a great house and entering, brought me into a great hall, I know not how I shall describe its goodliness, furnished with magnificent furniture. The women withdrew to the harem, leaving me bound with the eunuch and saying in myself, “Doubtless they will torture me here till I die, and none know of my death.” However, after a while, they carried me into an elegant bathroom, adjoining the hall; and as I sat there, in came three damsels, who seated themselves round me and said to me, “Strip off thy rags.” So I pulled off my threadbare clothes, and one of them fell a-rubbing my feet, whilst another washed my head and the third scrubbed my body. When they had made an end of washing me, they brought me a parcel of clothes and said to me, “Put these on.” “By Allah,” answered I, “I know not how!” So they came up to me and dressed me, laughing at me the while; after which they brought casting- bottles, full of rose-water, and sprinkled me therewith. Then I went out with them into another saloon, by Allah, I know not how to set out its goodliness, for the much paintings and furniture therein; and here I found the lady seated on a couch of Indian cane with ivory feet and before her a number of damsels. When she saw me, she rose and called to me; so I went up to her and she made me sit by her side. Then she called for food, and the damsels brought all manner rich meats, such as I never saw in all my life; I do not even know the names of the dishes. So I ate my fill and when the dishes had been taken away and we had washed our hands, she called for fruits and bade me eat of them; after which she bade one of the waiting-women bring the wine-service. So they set on flagons of divers kinds of wine and burned perfumes in all the censers, what while a damsel like the moon rose and served us with wine, to the sound of the smitten strings. We sat and drank, the lady and I, till we were warm with wine, whilst I doubted not but that all this was an illusion of sleep. Presently, she signed to one of the damsels to spread us a bed in such a place, which being done, she took me by the hand and led me thither. So I lay with her till the morning, and as often as I pressed her in my arms, I smelt the delicious fragrance of musk and other perfumes that exhaled from her and could think no otherwise but that I was in Paradise or in the mazes of a dream. When it was day, she asked me where I lodged and I told her, “In such a place;” whereupon she gave me a handkerchief gold and silver wrought, with somewhat tied in it, and bade me depart, saying, “Go to the bath with this.” So I rejoiced and said to myself, “If there be but five farthings here, it will buy me the morning meal.” Then I left her, as I were leaving Paradise, and returned to my lodging, where I opened the handkerchief and found in it fifty dinars of gold. I buried them in the ground and buying two farthings’ worth of bread and meat, sat down at the door and breakfasted; after which I sat pondering my case till the time of afternoon-prayer, when a slave-girl accosted me, saying, “My mistress calls for thee.” So I followed her to the house aforesaid and she carried me in to the lady, before whom I kissed the earth, and she bade me sit and called for meat and wine as on the previous day; after which I again lay with her all night. On the morrow, she gave me a second handkerchief, with other fifty dinars therein, and I took it and going home, buried this also.

  Thus did I eight days running, going in to her at the hour of afternoon-prayer and leaving her at daybreak; but, on the eighth night, as I lay with her, one of her maids came running in and said to me, “Arise, go up into yonder closet.” So I rose and went into the closet, which was over the gate and had a window giving upon the street in front of the house. Presently, I heard a great clamour and tramp of horse, and looking out of the window, saw a young man, as he were the rising moon on the night of her full, come riding up, attended by a number of servants and soldiers. He alighted at the door and entering, found the lady seated on the couch in the saloon. So he kissed the earth before her, then came up to her and kissed her hands; but she would not speak to him. However, he ceased not to soothe her and speak her fair, till he made his peace with her, and they lay together that night. Next morning, the soldiers came for him and he mounted and rode away; whereupon she came in to me and said, “Sawst thou yonder man?” “Yes,” answered I; and she said, “He is my husband, and I will tell thee what befell me with him.

  “It chanced one day that we were sitting, he and I, in the garden within the house, when he rose from my side and was absent a long while, till I grew tired of waiting and said to myself, ‘Most like, he is in the wardrobe.’ So I went thither, but not finding him there, went down to the kitchen, where I saw a slave-girl, of whom I enquired for him, and she showed him to me lying with one of the cook-maids. When I saw this, I swore a great oath that I would do adultery with the foulest and filthiest man in Baghdad; and the day the eunuch laid hands on thee, I had been four days going round about the town in quest of one who should answer this description, but found none fouler nor more filthy than thee. So I took thee and there passed between us that which God fore- ordained to us; and now I am quit of my oath. But,” added she, “if my husband return yet again to the cook-maid and lie with her, I will restore thee to thy late place in my favours.”

  When (continued the scavenger) I heard these words from her lips, what while she transfixed my heart with the arrows of her glances, my tears streamed forth, till my eyelids were sore with weeping, and I repeated the saying of the poet:

  Vouchsafe me the kiss of thy left hand, I prithee, And know that

  it’s worthier far than thy right;

  For ’tis but a little while since it was washing Sir reverence

  away from the stead of delight.

  Then she gave me other fifty dinars (making in all four hundred dinars I had of her) and bade me depart. So I went out from her and came hither, that I might pray God (blessed and exalted be He!) to make her husband return to the cook-maid, so haply I might be again admitted to her favours.’ When the governor of the pilgrims heard the man’s story, he set him free and said to the bystanders, ‘God on you, pray for him, for indeed he is excusable.’

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  THE MOCK KHALIF.

  It is related that the Khalif Haroun er Reshid, being one night troubled with a persistent restlessness, summoned his Vizier Jaafer the Barmecide and said to him, ‘My heart is straitened and I have a mind to divert myself tonight by walking about the streets of Baghdad and looking into the affairs of the folk; but we will disguise ourselves as merchants, that none may know us.’ ‘I hear and obey,’ answered Jaafer. So they rose at once and putting off the rich clothes they wore, donned merchants’ habits and sallied forth, the Khalif and Jaafer and Mesrour the headsman. They walked from place to place, till they came to the Tigris and saw an old man sitting in a boat; so they went up to him and saluting him, said, ‘O old man, we desire thee of thy favour to carry us a-pleasuring down the river, in this thy boat, and take this dinar to thy hire.’ ‘Who may go a-pleasuring on the Tigris?’ replied the boatman. ‘Seeing that the Khalif every night comes down the stream in his barge, and w
ith him one crying aloud, “Ho, all ye people, great and small, gentle and simple, men and boys, whoso is found in a boat on the Tigris [by night], I will strike off his head or hang him to the mast of his boat!” And ye had well-nigh met him; for here comes his barge.’ But the Khalif and Jaafer said, ‘O old man, take these two dinars, and when thou seest the Khalif’s barge approaching, run us under one of the arches, that we may hide there till he have passed. ‘Hand over the money,’ replied the boatman; ‘and on God the Most High be our dependence!’ So they gave him the two dinars and embarked in the boat; and he put off and rowed about with them awhile, till they saw the barge coming down the river in mid-stream, with lighted flambeaux and cressets therein. Quoth the boatman, ‘Did I not tell you that the Khalif passed every night? O Protector, remove not the veils of Thy protection!’ So saying, he ran the boat under an arch and threw a piece of black cloth over the Khalif and his companions, who looked out from under the covering and saw, in the bows of the barge, a man holding a cresset of red gold and clad in a tunic of red satin, with a muslin turban on his head. Over one of his shoulders hung a cloak of yellow brocade, and on the other was a green silk bag full of Sumatran aloes-wood, with which he fed the cresset by way of firewood. In the stern stood another man, clad like the first and bearing a like cresset, and in the barge were two hundred white slaves, standing right and left about a throne of red gold, on which sat a handsome young man, like the moon, clad in a dress of black, embroidered with yellow gold. Before him they saw a man, as he were the Vizier Jaafer, and at his head stood an eunuch, as he were Mesrour, with a drawn sword in his hand, besides a score of boon-companions. When the Khalif saw this, he turned to Jaafer and said to him, ‘Belike this is one of my sons, El Amin or El Mamoun.’ Then he examined the young man that sat on the throne, and finding him accomplished in beauty and grace and symmetry, said to Jaafer, ‘Verily, this young man abates no jot of the state of the Khalifate! See, there stands before him one as he were thyself, O Jaafer; yonder eunuch is as he were Mesrour and those boon-companions as they were my own. By Allah, O Jaafer, my reason is confounded and I am filled with amazement at this thing!’ ‘And I also, by Allah, O Commander of the Faithful,’ replied Jaafer. Then the barge passed on and disappeared from sight; whereupon the boatman pushed out again into the stream, saying, ‘Praised be God for safety, since none hath fallen in with us!’ ‘O old man,’ said Er Reshid, ‘doth the Khalif come down the river every night?’ ‘Yes, O my lord,’ answered the boatman; ‘he hath done so every night this year past.’ ‘O old man,’ rejoined Er Reshid, ‘we wish thee of thy favour to await us here to-morrow night, and we will give thee five dinars, for we are strangers, lodging at El Khendek, and we have a mind to divert ourselves.’ ‘With all my heart,’ replied the boatman. Then the Khalif and Jaafer and Mesrour returned to the palace, where they put off their merchants’ habits and donning their apparel of state, sat down each in his several room. Then came the amirs and viziers and chamberlains and officers, and the Divan assembled as of wont.