One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  When he came before Zumurrud, he saluted and kissed the earth before her, whilst she returned his greeting and received him with honour. Then said she to him, ‘What is thy name and condition and what brought thee hither?’ ‘O King,’ answered he, ‘my name is Ali Shar; I am of the sons of the merchants of Khorassan and the object of my coming hither is to seek for a slave-girl whom I have lost; for she was dearer to me than my sight and my hearing, and indeed my soul cleaves to her, since I lost her.’ And he wept, till he swooned away. She caused sprinkle rose-water on his face, till he came to himself, when she said, ‘Bring me the table of sand and the pen.’ So they brought them and she took the pen and drew a geomantic figure, which she considered awhile; then, ‘Thou hast spoken sooth,’ quoth she. ‘God will grant thee speedy reunion with her; so be not troubled.’ Then she bade her chamberlain carry him to the bath and after clothe him in a handsome suit of royal apparel, and mount him an one of the best of the King’s horses and bring him to the palace at end of day. So the chamberlain took him away, whilst the folk said to one another, ‘What makes the King deal thus courteously with yonder youth?’ And one said, ‘Did I not tell you that he would do him no hurt? For he is fair of aspect; and this I knew, when the King suffered him to eat his fill.’ And each said his say; after which they all dispersed and went their ways.

  As for Zumurrud, she thought the night would never come, that she might be alone with the beloved of her heart. As soon as it was dusk, she withdrew to her sleeping-chamber and made as she were overcome with sleep; and it was her wont to suffer none to pass the night with her, save the two little eunuchs that waited upon her. After a little, she sent for Ali Shar and sat down upon the bed, with candles burning at her head and feet and the place lighted with hanging lamps of gold that shone like the sun. When the people heard of her sending for Ali Shar, they marvelled and said, ‘Algates, the King is enamoured of this young man, and to- morrow he will make him commander of the troops.’ And each thought his thought and said his say. When they brought him in to her, he kissed the earth before her and called down blessings on her, and she said in herself, ‘Needs must I jest with him awhile, ere I make myself known to him.’ Then said she to him, ‘O Ali, hast thou been to the bath?’ ‘Yes, O my lord,’ answered he. ‘Come, eat of this fowl and meat and drink of this wine and sherbet of sugar,’ said she; ‘for thou art weary; and after come hither.’ ‘I hear and obey,’ replied he and did as she bade him.

  When he had made an end of eating and drinking, she said to him, ‘Come up with me on the couch and rub my feet.’ So he fell to rubbing her feet and legs and found them softer than silk. Then said she, ‘Go higher with the rubbing;’ and he, ‘Pardon me, O my lord, I will go no higher than the knee.’ Whereupon, ‘Wilt thou gainsay me?’ quoth she. ‘It shall be an ill-omened night for thee! Nay, but it behoves thee to do my bidding and I will make thee my minion and appoint thee one of my Amirs.’ ‘And in what must I do thy bidding, O King of the age?’ asked Ali. ‘Put off thy trousers,’ answered she, ‘and lie down on thy face.’ Quoth he, ‘That is a thing I never in my life did; and if thou force me thereto, I will accuse thee thereof before God on the Day of Resurrection. Take all thou hast given me and let me go to my own city.’ And he wept and lamented. But she said, ‘Put off thy trousers and lie down on thy face, or I will strike off thy head.’ So he did as she bade him and she mounted upon his back. And he felt what was softer than silk and fresher than cream and said in himself, ‘Of a truth, this King is better than all the women!’

  She abode a while on his back, then turned over on to the ground, and he said [in himself], ‘Praised be God! It seems his yard is not in point.’ Then said she, ‘O Ali, it is of the wont of my yard that it standeth not on end, except it be rubbed with the hand; so, some, rub it with thy hand, till it be in point, else will I kill thee.’ So saying, she lay down on her back and taking his hand, set it to her kaze, and he found it a kaze softer than silk, white, plump and great, resembling for heat the hot room of the bath or the heart of a lover, whom passion hath wasted. Quoth Ali in himself, ‘Verily, this King hath a kaze. This is a wonder of wonders!’ And desire got hold on him and his yard stood on end to the utmost; which when Zumurrud saw, she burst out laughing and said to him, ‘O my lord, all this betideth and yet thou knowest me not!’ ‘And who art thou, O King?’ asked he; and she said, ‘I am thy slave-girl Zumurrud.’

  When he knew this and was certified that she was indeed his very slave-girl Zumurrud, he threw himself upon her, as the lion upon the sheep, and kissed her and embraced her. Then he thrust his yard into her poke and stinted not to play the porter at her door and the Imam at her prayer-niche, whilst she with him ceased not from inclination and prostration and rising up and sitting down, accompanying her canticles of praise with motitations and other amorous gestures, till the [two little] eunuchs [aforesaid] heard [the noise]. So they came and peeping out from behind the curtains, saw the King lying [on his back] and Ali Shar upon him, thrusting and thronging amain, whilst she puffed and blew and wriggled. Quoth they, ‘This is no man’s wriggle; belike this King is a woman.’ But they concealed their affair and discovered it to none.

  On the morrow, Zumurrud summoned all the troops and the grandees of the realm and said to them, ‘I am minded to journey to this man’s country; so choose a deputy, who shall rule over you, till I return to you.’ And they answered, ‘We hear and obey.’ Then she applied herself to making ready for the journey and furnished herself with victual and treasure and camels and mules and so forth; after which she set out with Ali Shar, and they fared on, till they arrived at his native place, where he entered his house and gave alms and largesse. God vouchsafed him children by her, and they both lived the happiest of lives, till there came to them the Destroyer of Delights and Sunderer of Companies. Glory be to God, the Eternal without cease, and praised be He in every case!

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  THE LOVES OF JUBEIR BEN UMEIR AND THE LADY BUDOUR

  It is related the Khalif Haroun er Reshid was restless one night and could not sleep; so that he ceased not to toss from side to side for very restlessness, till, growing weary of this, he called Mesrour and said to him, ‘O Mesrour, look what may solace me of this my restlessness.’ ‘O Commander of the Faithful,’ answered Mesrour, ‘wilt thou walk in the garden of the palace and divert thyself with the sight of its flowers and gaze upon the stars and note the beauty of their ordinance and the moon among them, shining on the water?’ ‘O Mesrour,’ replied the Khalif, ‘my heart inclines not to aught of this.’ ‘O my lord,’ continued Mesrour, ‘there are in thy palace three hundred concubines, each of whom hath her separate lodging. Do thou bid retire each into her own apartment and then go thou about and divert thyself with gazing on them, without their knowledge.’ ‘O Mesrour,’ answered Haroun, ‘the palace is mine and the girls are my property: moreover, my soul inclineth not to aught of this.’ ‘O my lord,’ said Mesrour, ‘summon the doctors and sages and poets and bid them contend before thee in argument and recite verses and tell thee tales and anecdotes.’ ‘My soul inclines not to aught of this,’ answered the Khalif; and Mesrour said, ‘O my lord, bid the minions and wits and boon-companions attend thee and divert thee with witty sallies.’ ‘O Mesrour,’ replied the Khalif, ‘indeed my soul inclineth not to aught of this.’ ‘Then, O my lord,’ rejoined Mesrour, ‘strike off my head; maybe, that will dispel thine unease and do away the restlessness that is upon thee.’

  At this the Khalif laughed and said, ‘See which of the boon- companions is at the door.’ So Mesrour went out and returning, said, ‘O my lord, he who sits without is Ali ben Mensour of Damascus, the Wag.’ ‘Bring him to me,’ quoth Haroun; and Mesrour went out and returned with Ibn Mensour, who said, on entering, ‘Peace be on thee, O Commander of the Faithful!’ The Khalif returned his salutation and said to him, ‘O Ibn Mensour, tell us one of thy stories.’ ‘O Commander of the Faithful,’ said the other, ‘shall I tell thee wha
t I have seen with my eyes or what I have only heard tell?’ ‘If thou have seen aught worth telling,’ replied the Khalif, ‘let us hear it; for report is not like eye- witness.’ ‘O Commander of the Faithful,’ said Ibn Mensour, ‘lend me thine ear and thy heart.’ ‘O Ibn Mensour,’ answered the Khalif, ‘behold, I am listening to thee with mine ears and looking at thee with mine eyes and attending to thee with my heart.’

  ‘Know then, O Commander of the Faithful,’ began Ibn Mensour, ‘that I receive a yearly allowance from Mohammed ben Suleiman el Hashimi, Sultan of Bassora; so I went to him, once upon a time, as usual, and found him about to ride out a-hunting. I saluted him, and he returned my salute and would have me mount and go a-hunting with him; but I said, “O my lord, I cannot ride; so do thou stablish me in the guest-house and give thy chamberlains and officers charge over me.” And he did so and departed for the chase. His officers entreated me with the utmost honour and hospitality; but I said in myself, “By Allah, it is a strange thing that I should have used so long to come from Baghdad to Bassora, yet know no more of the town than from the palace to the garden and back again! When shall I find an occasion like this to view the different parts of Bassora? I will rise at once and walk forth alone and divert myself and digest what I have eaten.”

  So I donned my richest clothes and went out a-walking in Bassora. Now it is known to thee, O Commander of the Faithful, that it hath seventy streets, each seventy parasangs long of Irak measure; and I lost myself in its by-streets and thirst overcame me. Presently, as I went along, I came to a great door, on which were two rings of brass, with curtains of red brocade drawn before it. Over the door was a trellis, covered with a creeping vine, that hung down and shaded the doorway; and on either side the porch was a stone bench. I stood still, to gaze upon the place, and presently heard a sorrowful voice, proceeding from a mourning heart, warbling melodiously and chanting the following verses:

  My body is become th’ abode of sickness and dismay, By reason of

  a fawn, whose land and stead are far away.

  O zephyr of the waste, that roused my pain in me, I pray, By God

  your Lord, to him, with whom my heart dwells, take your way

  And prithee chide him, so reproach may soften him,

  maybe.

  And if to you he do incline and hearken, then make fair Your

  speech and tidings unto him of lovers, ‘twixt you, bear.

  Yea, and vouchsafe to favour me with service debonair And unto

  him I love make known my case and my despair,

  Saying, “What ails thy bounden slave that, for

  estrangement, she

  Should die without offence of her committed or despite Or

  disobedience or breach of plighted faith or slight

  Or fraud or turning of her heart to other or unright?” And if he

  smile, with dulcet speech bespeak ye thus the wight:

  “An thou thy company wouldst grant to her, ‘twere well

  of thee;

  For she for love of thee’s distraught, as needs must be the case;

  Her eyes are ever void of sleep; she weeps and wails apace.”

  If he show favour and incline to grant the wished-for grace, ’Tis

  well and good; but, if ye still read anger in his face,

  Dissemble then with him and say, “We know her not, not

  we.”

  Quoth I to myself, “Verily, if the owner of this voice be fair, she unites beauty of person and eloquence and sweetness of voice.” Then I drew near the door, and raising the curtain little by little, beheld a damsel, white as the moon, when it rises on its fourteenth night, with joined eyebrows and languorous eyelids, breasts like twin pomegranates and dainty lips like twin corn-marigolds, mouth as it were Solomon’s seal and teeth that sported with the reason of rhymester and proser, even as saith the poet:

  O mouth of the beloved, who set thy pearls arow And eke with

  wine fulfilled thee and camomiles like show,

  And lent the morning-glory unto thy smile, and who Hath with a

  padlock sealed thee of rubies sweet of show?

  Whoso but looks upon thee is mad for joy and pride. How should

  it fare with him, who kisseth thee, heigho!

  And as saith another:

  O pearls of the teeth of my love, Have ruth on cornelian and spare To vie with it! Shall it not find You peerless and passing compare?

  In fine, she comprised all manner of loveliness and was a ravishment to men and women, nor could the beholder satisfy himself with the sight of her beauty; for she was as the poet hath said of her:

  If, face to face, she do appear, unveiled, she slays; and if

  She turn her back, she makes all men her lovers far and

  near.

  Like the full moon and eke the sun she is, but cruelty And

  inhumanity belong not to her nature dear.

  The garden-gates of Paradise are opened with her shift And the

  full moon revolveth still upon her neck-rings’ sphere.

  As I looked at her through the opening of the curtains, she turned and seeing me standing at the door, said to her maid, “See who stands at the door.” So the maid came up to me and said, “O old man, hast thou no shame, or do gray hairs and impudence go together?” “O my mistress,” answered I, “I confess to the gray hairs, but as for unmannerliness, I think not to be guilty of it.” “And what can be more unmannerly,” rejoined her mistress, “than to intrude thyself upon a house other than thy house and gaze on a harem other than thy harem?” “O my lady,” said I, “I have an excuse.” “And what is thine excuse?” asked she. Quoth I, “I am a stranger and well-nigh dead of thirst.” “We accept thine excuse,” answered she and calling one of her maids, said to her, “O Lutf, give him to drink in the golden tankard.”

  So she brought me a tankard of red gold, set with pearls and jewels, full of water mingled with odoriferous musk and covered with a napkin of green silk; and I addressed myself to drink and was long about it, casting stolen glances at her the while, till I could prolong it no longer. Then I returned the tankard to the maid, but did not offer to go; and she said to me, “O old man, go thy way.” “O my lady,” replied I, “I am troubled in mind.” “For what?” asked she; and I answered, “For the uncertainty of fortune and the vicissitudes of events.” “Well mayst thou be troubled thereanent,” replied she, “for Time is the mother of wonders. But what hast thou seen of them that thou shouldst muse upon?” Quoth I, “I was thinking of the former owner of this house, for he was my good friend in his lifetime.” “What was his name?” asked she. “Mohammed ben Ali the Jeweller,” answered I; “and he was a man of great wealth. Did he leave any children?” “Yes,” said she; “he left a daughter, Budour by name, who inherited all his wealth.” Quoth I, “Meseems thou art his daughter?” “Yes,” answered she, laughing; then added, “O old man, thou hast talked long enough; go thy ways.” “Needs must I go,” replied I; “but I see thou art out of health. Tell me thy case; it may be God will give thee solace at my hands.” “O old man,” rejoined she, “if thou be a man of discretion, I will discover to thee my secret; but first tell me who thou art, that I may know whether thou art worthy of confidence or not; for the poet saith:

  None keepeth secrets but the man who’s trusty and discreet: A

  secret’s ever safely placed with honest fold and leal;

  For me, my secrets I preserve within a locked-up house, Whose

  key is lost and on whose door is set the Cadi’s seal.”

  “O my lady,” answered I, “an thou wouldst know who I am, I am Ali ben Mensour of Damascus, the Wag, boon-companion to the Khalif Haroun er Reshid.” When she heard my name she came down from her seat and saluting me, said, “Welcome, O Ibn Mensour! Now will I tell thee my case and entrust thee with my secret. Know that I am a lover separated from her beloved.” “O my lady,” rejoined I, “thou art fair and shouldst love none but the fair. Whom then dost thou love?” Quoth she, “I
love Jubeir ben Umeir es Sheibani, Prince of the Benou Sheiban;” and she described to me a young man than whom there was none handsomer in Bassora. “O my lady,” asked I, “have letters or interviews passed between you?” “Yes,” answered she; “but his love for me was of the tongue, not of the heart; for he kept not his covenant nor was faithful to his troth.” “And what was the cause of your separation?” asked I.

  “I was sitting one day,” replied she, “whilst my maid here combed my hair. When she had made an end of combing it, she plaited my tresses, and my beauty and grace pleased her; so she bent down to me and kissed my cheek. At that moment, he came in, unawares, and seeing her kiss my cheek, turned away in anger, vowing eternal separation and repeating the following verses:

  If any share with me in her I love, incontinent, I’ll cast her

  off from me and be to live alone content.

  A mistress, sure, is nothing worth, if, in the way of love, She

  wish for aught but that to which the lover doth consent.

  And from that time to this, O Ibn Mensour,” continued she, “he hath neither written to me nor answered my letters.” “And what thinkest thou to do?” asked I. Quoth she, “I have a mind to send him a letter by thee. If thou bring me back an answer, thou shalt have of me five hundred dinars; and if not, then a hundred for thy pains.” “Do what seemeth good to thee,” answered I. So she called for inkhorn and paper and wrote the following verses: