One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  Then she went to the door, where she found the chief of the police; so she kissed the earth before him and brought him into the saloon, where she made him sit down and said to him, “O my lord, this is thy house and I am thy handmaid, and thou shalt pass all this day with me; wherefore do thou doff thy clothes and don this red gown, for it is a sleeping gown.” So she took away his clothes and made him don the red gown and set on his head an old patched rag she had by her; after which she sat down by him on the couch and they sported awhile, till he put out his hand to her; but she said to him, “O my lord, this day is thine, all of it, and none shall share it with thee; but first, of thy favour and grace, write me an order for my brother’s release, that my heart may be at ease.” “I hear and obey,” answered he; “on my head and eyes be it;” and wrote a letter to his treasurer, to the following effect: “As soon as this letter reaches thee, do thou, without delay and without fail, set such an one free, neither answer the bearer a word.” Then he sealed it and she took it from him, after which she began again to toy with him on the couch, when, behold, some one knocked at the door. Quoth he, “Who is that?” “My husband,” answered she. “What shall I do?” asked he, and she said, “Enter this cabinet. till I send him away and return to thee.” So she clapped him into the second compartment and locked the door on him; and all this time the Cadi heard what they said and did.

  Then she went to the door and opened it, whereupon the Vizier entered. She kissed the earth before him and received him with all worship, saying, “O my lord, thou honourest us by thy coming to our house; may God never deprive us of the light of thy countenance!” Then she seated him on the couch and said to him, “O my lord, these thy clothes and turban are the apparel of the vizierate; so leave them to their own time and don this light gown, which is better fitted for carousing and making merry and sleep.” So he put off his clothes and turban and she dressed him in a blue cassock and a tall red cap, after which she began to toy with him and he with her, and he would have done his desire of her; but she put him off saying, “O my lord, this shall not escape us.” Presently there came a knocking at the door, and the Vizier said to her, “Who is that?” “My husband,” answered she. Quoth he, “What is to be done?” “Fear nothing,” said she; “but enter this cabinet, till I get rid of him and come back to thee.” So she put him in the third compartment and locked the door on him, after which she went out and opened the door and in came the King.

  When she saw him, she kissed the earth before him, and taking him by the hand, led him into the saloon and seated him on the couch at the upper end. Then said she to him, “Verily, O King, thou dost us honour, and if we brought thee the whole world and all that therein is as a gift, it would not equal a single one of thy steps towards us: but give me leave to speak one word.” “Say what thou wilt,” answered he, and she said, “O my lord, take thine ease and put off thy clothes and turban.” So he put off his clothes, which were worth a thousand dinars, and she clad him in a patched gown, not worth ten dirhems, and fell to talking and jesting with him, whilst the folk in the cabinet heard all that passed, but dared not say a word. Presently, the King put his hand to her neck and sought to do his desire of her; but she said, “This thing shall not escape us; but, first, I had promised myself to entertain thee in this sitting-chamber, and I have that which shall content thee.” At that moment, some one knocked at the door and he said to her, “Who is that?” “My husband,” answered she, and he, “Make him go away of his own accord, or I will go forth to him and send him away perforce.” “Nay, O my lord,” replied she; “have patience till I send him away by my skilful contrivance “And how shall I do?” asked the King; whereupon she took him by the hand and making him enter the fourth compartment of the cabinet, locked it upon him.

  Then she went out and opened the door, when the carpenter entered and saluted her. Quoth she, “What manner of thing is this cabinet thou hast made me?” “What ails it, O my lady?” asked he, and she said, “The [top] compartment is too strait.” “Not so,” answered he; and she, “Go in thyself and see; it is not wide enough for thee.” Quoth he, “It is wide enough for four,” and entered the fifth compartment, whereupon she locked the door on him. Then she took the letter of the chief of the police and carried it to the treasurer, who kissed it and delivered her lover to her. She told him all that had passed and he said, “And how shall we do now?” Quoth she, “We will remove hence to another city, for there is no tarrying for us here after this.” So they packed up their goods and loading them on camels, set out forthright for another city.

  Meanwhile, the five abode in the cabinet three whole days, without eating or drinking, until at last the carpenter could retain his water no longer; so he made water on the King’s head, and the King made water on the Vizier’s head, and the Vizier on the Chief of the Police, who did the like with the Cadi; whereupon the latter cried out and said, “What filth is this? Doth not this strait that we are in suffice us, but you must make water upon us?” The Chief of the Police recognized the Cadi’s voice and answered, saying, “God increase thy reward, O Cadi!” And when the Cadi heard him, he knew him for the Chief of the Police. Then the latter lifted up his voice and said, “What means this nastiness?” and the Vizier answered, saying, “God increase thy reward, O Chief of the Police!” whereupon he knew him to be the Vizier. Then the Vizier lifted up his voice and said, “What means this nastiness?” But when the King heard his Vizier’s voice, he held his peace and concealed his affair. Then said the Vizier, “May God curse the woman for her dealing with us! She hath brought hither all the chiefs of the state, except the King.” Quoth the King, “Hold thy peace, for I was the first to fall into the toils of this lewd baggage.” “And I,” cried the carpenter, “what have I done? I made her a cabinet for four dinars, and when I came to seek my hire, she tricked me into entering this compartment and locked the door on me.” And they fell to talking with one another, to divert the King and do away his chagrin.

  Presently the neighbours came up to the house and seeing it deserted, said to one another, “But yesterday our neighbour the wife of such an one was in it; but now there is no sound to be heard therein nor soul to be seen. Let us break open the doors and see how the case stands, lest it come to the ears of the King or the Chief of the Police and we be cast into prison and regret that we did not this thing before.” So they broke open the doors and entered the saloon, where they saw the cabinet and heard the men within groaning for hunger and thirst. Then said one of them, “Is there a genie in the cabinet?” “Let us heap faggots about it,” quoth another, “and burn it with fire.” When the Cadi heard this, he cried out at them, saying, “Do it not!” And they said to one another, “Verily, the Jinn make believe to be mortals and speak with men’s voices.” Thereupon the Cadi repeated some verses of the sublime Koran and said to the neighbours, “Draw near to the cabinet.” So they drew near, and he said, “I am so and so the Cadi, and ye are such an one and such an one, and we are here a company.” Quoth the neighbours, “And how came ye here?” And he told them the whole case from beginning to end.

  Then they fetched a carpenter, who opened the five doors and let out the Cadi and the Vizier and the Chief of the Police and the King and the Carpenter; and when they saw how they were accoutred, each fell a-laughing at the others. Now she had taken away all their clothes; so each of them sent to his people for fresh clothes and put them on and went out, covering himself therewith from the sight of the folk. See, therefore, O our lord the King,’ said the vizier, ‘what a trick this woman played off upon the folk! And I have heard tell also that

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  The Man Who Saw the Night of Power.

  A certain man had longed all his life to look upon the Night of Power, and it befell that, one night, he looked up at the sky and saw the angels and Heaven’s gates opened and beheld all things in the act of prostration before their Lord, each in its several room. So he said to his wife, “Harkye, such an on
e, God hath shown me the Night of Power, and it hath been proclaimed to me, from the invisible world, that three prayers will be granted unto me; so do thou counsel me what I shall ask.” Quoth she, “O man, the perfection of man and his delight is in his yard; so do thou pray God to greaten thy yard and magnify it.” So he lifted up his hands to heaven and said, “O my God, greaten my yard and magnify it.” Hardly had he spoken when his yard became as big as a calabash and he could neither sit nor stand nor move; and when he would have lain with his wife, she fled before him from place to place. So he said to her, “O accursed woman, what is to be done? This is thy wish, by reason of thy lust.” “Nay, by Allah,” answered she; “I did not ask for this huge bulk, for which the gate of a street were too strait. Pray God to make it less.” So he raised his eyes to heaven and said, “O my God, rid me of this thing and deliver me therefrom.” And immediately his yard disappeared altogether and he became smooth [like a woman]. When his wife saw this, she said, ‘I have no occasion for thee, now thou art become yardless;” and he answered her, saying, “All this comes of thine own ill-omened counsel and the infirmity of thy judgment. I had three prayers accepted of God, wherewith I might have gotten me my good, both in this world and the next, and now two are gone in pure waste, by thy lewd wish, and there remaineth but one.” Quoth she, “Pray God the Most High to restore thee thy yard as it was.” So he prayed to his Lord and his yard was restored to its first case. Thus the man lost his three wishes by the ill counsel and lack of sense of the woman; and this, O King,’ said the vizier, ‘have I told thee, that thou mightest be certified of the thoughtlessness of women and their little wit and silliness and see what comes of hearkening to their counsel. Wherefore be not persuaded by them to slay thy son, the darling of thy heart, and thus blot out thy remembrance after thee.’

  The King gave ear to his vizier’s words and forbore to put his son to death; but, on the seventh day, the damsel came in, shrieking, and lighting a great fire in the King’s presence, made as she would cast herself therein; whereupon they laid hands on her and brought her before him. Quoth he, ‘Why hast thou done this?’ And she answered, saying, ‘Except thou do me justice on thy son, I will cast myself into the fire and accuse thee of this on the Day of Resurrection, for I am weary of life and before coming hither, I wrote my last dispositions and gave alms of my goods and resolved upon death. And thou wilt repent with all repentance, even as did the King of having punished the pious woman.’ ‘How was that?’ asked the King. ‘I have heard tell, O King,’ replied she, ‘that

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  The Stolen Necklace.

  There was once a devout woman, who had renounced the world and devoted herself to the service of God. Now she used to resort to a certain king’s palace, the dwellers wherein looked for a blessing by reason of her presence, and she was held of them in high honour. One day, she entered the palace, according to her wont, and sat down beside the queen. Presently the latter gave her a necklace, worth a thousand dinars, saying, “Keep this for me, whilst I go to the bath.” So she entered the bath, which was in the palace, and the pious woman laid the necklace on the prayer-carpet and stood up to pray. As she was thus engaged, there came a magpie, which snatched up the necklace, [unseen of her,] and carrying it off, hid it in a crevice in one of the palace-walls. When the queen came out of the bath, she sought the necklace of the recluse, and the latter searched for it, but found it not nor could light on any trace of it; so she said to the queen, “By Allah, O my daughter, none has been with me. When thou gavest me the necklace, I laid it on the prayer-carpet, and I know not if one of the servants saw it and took it without my heed, whilst I was engaged in prayer. God only knows what is come of it!” When the King heard what had happened, he bade his consort put the woman to the question by fire and beating; so they tortured her with all manner tortures, but could not bring her to confess or to accuse any. Then he commanded to lay her in irons and cast her into prison, and they did as he bade.

  One day, after this, as the King sat in the inner court of his palace, with the queen by his side aud water flowing around him, he saw the magpie fly into a crevice of the wall and pull out the lost necklace, whereupon he cried out to a damsel who was with him, and she caught the bird and took the necklace from it. By this the King knew that the pious woman had been wronged and repented of that he had done with her. So he sent for her and fell to kissing her head and sought pardon of her-weeping. Moreover, he commanded great treasure to be given to her, but she would none of it. However, she forgave him and went away, vowing never again to enter any one’s house. So she betook herself to wandering in the mountains and valleys and worshipped God the Most High till she died. And for an instance of the malice of the male sex,’ continued the damsel, ‘I have heard tell that

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  The Two Pigeons

  A pair of pigeons once stored up wheat and barley in their nests in the winter, and when the summer came, the grain shrivelled and became less; so the male pigeon said to his mate, “Thou hast eaten of this grain.” “No, by Allah,” replied she; “I have not touched it!” But he believed her not and beat her with his wings and pecked her with his bill, till he killed her. When the cold season returned, the corn swelled out and became as before, whereupon he knew that he had slain his mate unjustly and wickedly and repented, when repentance availed him not. Then he lay down by her side, mourning over her and weeping for grief, and left eating and drinking, till he fell sick and died.

  But,’ added the damsel, ‘I know a story of the malice of men more extraordinary than either of these.’ ‘Let us hear it,’ said the King; and she said, ‘I have heard tell, O King, that

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  Story of Prince Behram of Persia and the Princess Ed Detma.

  There was once a king’s daughter, by name Ed Detma, who had no equal in her time for beauty and elegance and symmetry and amorous grace and the art of ravishing men’s wits, nor was there one more accomplished than she in horsemanship and martial exercises and all that behoveth a cavalier, and all the king’s sons sought her in marriage; but she would none of them, saying, “None shall marry me except he overcome me at push of pike and stroke of sword in the open field. If any can do this, I will willingly wed him; but, if I overcome him, I will take his horse and clothes and arms and write with fire upon his forehead, ‘This is the freedman of Ed Detma.’” So the eons of the kings flocked to her from far and near, and she overcame them and put them to shame, stripping them of their arms and branding them with fire.

  At last, the son of a king of the kings of the Persians, by name Behram, heard of her and journeyed from afar to her father’s court, bringing with him men and horses and great store of wealth and royal treasures. When he drew near the city, he sent her father a rich present and the king came out to meet him and received him with the utmost honour. Then the prince sent a message to him by his vizier, demanding his daughter’s hand in marriage; but the king answered, saying, “O my son, I have no power over my daughter Ed Detma, for she hath sworn by her soul to marry none except he overcome her in the listed field.” Quoth the prince, “It was to this intent that I journeyed hither from my father’s court.” And the king said, “Thou shalt meet her to-morrow.” Accordingly, on the morrow, he sent to bid his daughter, who donned her harness of war, and the folk, hearing of the coming encounter, flocked from all sides to the field. Presently the princess rode into the lists, armed cap-a-pie and vizor down, and the prince pricked out to meet her, equipped at all points after the goodliest fashion. Then they drove at each other and fought a great while, wheeling and feinting and advancing and retreating, till the princess, finding in him such valour and horsemanship as she had seen in none else, began to fear lest he should put her to shame before the bystanders and knew that he would assuredly overcome her, unless she could contrive to trick him. So she raised her vizor and discovered her
face, more brilliant than the full moon, which when he saw, he was confounded by her beauty and his strength failed and his heart faltered. When she knew this, she fell upon him at unawares and tore him from his saddle, and he became in her hands as he were a sparrow in the clutches of an eagle, knowing not what was done with him for amazement and confusion. So she took his horse and cIothes and armour and branding him with fire, let him go.

  When he recovered from his stupor, he abode several days without eating or drinking, for despite and love of the princess that had taken hold upon his heart. Then he sent a letter by certain of his slaves to his father, advising him that he could not return home, till he had gotten his will of the princess or died for lack of her. When his father read the letter, he was sore concerned for his son and would have succoured him with troops and soldiers; but his viziers dissuaded him from this and exhorted him to patience; so he committed his affair to God the Most High.

  Meanwhile, the prince cast about for a means of coming to his desire and disguising himself as a decrepit old man, repaired to a garden, in which the princess used to walk most of her days. Here he sought out the gardener and said to him, “I am a stranger from a far country and from my youth upward I have been a gardener, and none is more skilled than I in the care of trees and the culture of fruits and flowers and so forth.” When the gardener heard this, he rejoiced in him with an exceeding joy and carried him into the garden, where he commended him to his underlings, and the prince betook himself to the service of the garden and the tending of the trees and the bettering of their fruits.