One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  The Man and His Wilful Wife.

  A certain man had a wife whom he loved and honoured, giving ear to her speech and doing according to her counsel. Moreover, he had a garden, which he had newly planted with his own hand, and was wont to go thither every day, to tend and water it. One day his wife said to him, “What hast thou planted in thy garden?” And he answered, “All that thou lovest and desirest, and I am assiduous in tending and watering it.” Quoth she, “Wilt thou not carry me thither and show it to me, so I may see it and offer thee up a prayer [for its prosperity], for that my prayers are effectual?” “I will well,” answered he; “but have patience with me till the morrow, when I will come and take thee.” So, on the morrow, he carried her to the garden and entered with her therein.

  Now two young men saw them enter from afar and said to each other, “Yonder man is an adulterer and yonder woman an adulteress, and they have not entered this garden but to do adultery therein.” So they followed them, to see what they would do, and hid themselves in a corner of the garden. The man and his wife abode awhile therein, and presently he said to her, “Pray me the prayer thou didst promise me;” but she answered, saying, “I will not pray for thee, until thou fulfil my desire of that which women seek from men.” “Out on thee, O woman!” cried he. “Hast thou not thy fill of me in the house? Here I fear scandal, more by token that thou divertest me from my affairs. Fearest thou not that some one will see us?” Quoth she, “We need have no care for that, seeing that we do neither sin nor lewdness; and as for the watering of the garden, that may wait, for that thou canst water it whenas thou wilt.” And she would take neither excuse nor reason from him, but was instant with him in seeking dalliance.

  So he arose and lay with her, which when the young men aforesaid saw, they ran upon them and seized them, saying, “We will not let you go. for ye are adulterers, and except we lie with the woman, we will denounce you to the police.” “Out on you!” answered the man. “This is my wife and I am the master of the garden.” They paid no heed to him, but fell upon the woman, who cried out to him for succour, saying, “Suffer them not to defile me!” So he came up to them, calling out for help, but one of them turned on him and smote him with his dagger and slew him. Then they returned to the woman and ravished her. This I tell thee, O king’ continued the vizier, ‘but that thou mayst know that it behoveth not men to give ear unto a woman’s talk neither obey her in aught nor accept her judgment in counsel. Beware, then, lest thou don the garment of ignorance, after that of knowledge and wisdom, and follow perverse counsel, after knowing that which is true and profitable. Wherefore ensue thou not a paltry pleasure, whose end is corruption and whose inclining is unto sore and uttermost perdition.’

  When the king heard this, he said to Shimas, ‘To-morrow I will come forth to them, if it be the will of God the Most High.’ So Shimas returned to the grandees and notables who were present and told them what the king had said. But this came to the ears of the favourite; so she went in to the king and said to him, ‘A king’s subjects should be his slaves; but thou art become a slave to thy subjects, for that thou standest in awe of them and fearest their mischief. They do but seek to make proof of thy temper; and if they find thee weak they will disdain thee; but, if they find thee stout and brave they will stand in awe of thee. On this wise do ill viziers with their king, for that their wiles are many: but I will make manifest unto thee the truth of their malice. If thou fall in with their demands, they will cause thee leave thy commandment and do their will; nor will they cease to lead thee on from affair to affair till they cast thee into destruction; and thy case will be as that of the merchant and the thieves.’ ‘How was that?’ asked the king; and she answered, ‘I have heard tell that

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  The Merchant and the Thieves.

  There was once a wealthy merchant, who set out for a certain city with merchandise, purposing to sell it there, and when he came thither, he hired a lodging there and took up his abode therein. Now certain thieves saw him, who were wont to lie in wait for merchants, that they might steal their goods; so they went to his house and cast about to enter in, but could find no way thereto, and their captain said, “I will accomplish you his affair.” Then he went away and donning a physician’s habit, threw over his shoulder a bag containing medicines, with which he set out, crying, “Who lacks a doctor?” and fared on till he came to the merchant’s lodging and saw him sitting eating the morning meal. So he said to him, “Dost thou want a physician?” “Not I,” answered the merchant; “but sit and eat with me.” So the thief sat down over against him and began to eat.

  Now this merchant was a great eater; and the thief, seeing this, said to himself, “I have found my opportunity.” So he turned to his host and said to him, “It behoveth me to give thee an admonition; and after thy kindness to me, I cannot hide it from thee. I see thee to be a great eater and the cause of this is a disorder in thy stomach; so hasten to take order for thy cure, or thine affair will end in perdition.’ Quoth the merchant, “My body is sound and my stomach quick of digestion, and though I be a hearty eater, yet is there no disease in me, to God be the praise and the thanks!” “It may so appear unto thee,” rejoined the thief; “but I know thou hast a latent disorder in thy vitals and if thou hearken to me, thou wilt medicine thyself.’ “And where shall I find him who knoweth my remedy?” asked the merchant. “God is the Healer,” answered the robber; “but a physician like myself tendeth the sick to the best of his power.” And the other said, “Show me my remedy and give me thereof.” So he gave him a powder, wherein was great plenty of aloes, saying, “Use this to-night.”

  When the night came, the merchant tasted the powder and found it nauseous of taste; nevertheless he misdoubted not of it, but swallowed it all and found ease therefrom that night. Next night the thief brought him another powder, wherein was yet more aloes, and he took it. It purged him that night, but he bore with this and rejected it not. When the thief saw that he gave ear unto his word and put trust in him, he brought him a deadly drug and gave it to him. The merchant swallowed it and no sooner had he done this than that which was in his belly fell down and his guts were rent in sunder, and by the morrow he was a dead man; whereupon the thieves came and took all that belonged to him. This,’ added the favourite, ‘I tell thee, O king, but that thou mayst not give ear to these deluders; else will there befall thee that whereby thou wilt destroy thyself.’ “Thou sayst sooth,’ replied the king; ‘I will not go forth to them.’

  On the morrow, the folk assembled together and repairing to the king’s door, sat there the most part of the day, till they despaired of his coming forth, when they returned to Shimas and said to him, ‘O sage philosopher and learned master, seest thou not that this ignorant boy doth but redouble in falsehood to us? Verily it were of reason to take the kingdom from him and give it to another, so our affairs may be set in order and our estates maintained; but go thou in to him a third time and tell him that nought hindereth us from rising against him and taking the kingship from him but [the remembrance] of his father’s goodness to us and that which he required from us of oaths and engagements [with respect to him]. However, to-morrow, we will all, to the last of us, assemble here with our arms and break down the gate of the palace; and if he come forth to us and do that which we wish, well and good; else will we go in to him and slay him and put the kingdom in another’s hand.’

  So Shimas went in to him and said, ‘O king, that wallowest in thy lusts and thy pleasures, what is this thou dost with thyself and who promptest thee thereunto? Indeed, thou sinnest against thyself and there hath ceased from thee that which we knew in thee aforetime of integrity and wisdom and eloquence. Would I knew who hath thus changed thee and turned thee from wisdom to folly and from fidelity to iniquity and from complaisance to stiffneckedness and from acceptance of me to aversion from me! How comes it that I admonish thee thrice and th
ou neglectest my admonition and that I counsel thee justly and thou still gainsayest my counsel? Tell me, what is this heedlessness and folly and who is it prompteth thee thereunto? Know that the people of thy kingdom have agreed together to come in to thee and slay thee and give thy kingdom to another. Art thou able to cope with them all and save thyself from their hands or canst thou quicken thyself after slaughter? If, indeed, thou availest to do all this, thou art safe and hast no occasion for my rede; but, if thou have any concern for thy life and thy kingship, return to thy senses and hold fast thy kingdom and show forth to the people the power of thy prowess and acquaint the folk with thine excuse, for they are minded to tear away that which is in thy hand and commit it unto another, being resolved upon revolt and rebellion, impelled thereto by that which they know of thy youth and thy surrender of thyself to lusts and voluptuousness; for that stones, albeit they lie long in water, if thou take them out therefrom and smite one upon another, fire will be struck from them. Now thy subjects are many in number and they have taken counsel together against thee, to transfer the kingship from thee to another and accomplish upon thee that which they desire of thy destruction. So shalt thou fare as did the wolf with the foxes and the lion.’ ‘How was that?’ asked the king, and the vizier answered, ‘They say that

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  The Foxes and the Wolf.

  A troop of foxes went out one day to seek food, and as they coasted about in quest of this, they happened upon a dead camel and said to each other, “Verily we have found wherewithal we may live a great while; but we fear lest one of us oppress other and the strong overbear the weak with his strength, and so the weak of us perish; wherefore it behoveth us seek one who shall judge between us and appoint unto each his part, so the strong may not lord it over the weak.” As they consulted together, up came a wolf, and some of the foxes said to the others, “Your counsel is just; let us make this wolf judge between us, for he is the strongest of beasts and his father was sultan over us aforetime; wherefore we hope in God that he will do justice between us.” So they accosted the wolf and acquainting him with their determination, said to him, “We make thee judge between us, so thou mayst allot unto each of us his day’s meat, after the measure of his need, lest the strong of us overbear the weak and some of us destroy other some.”

  The wolf consented to take the governance of their affairs and allotted unto each of them what sufficed him that day; but on the morrow he said in himself, “If I divide this camel amongst these weaklings, no part thereof will come to me, save that which they assign to me, and if I eat it alone, they can do me no hurt, seeing that they are a prey to me and to the people of my house. Who shall hinder me from taking it for myself? Surely, it is God who hath bestowed it on me, by way of provision, and no thanks to them. It were best that I keep it for myself, and henceforth I will give them nought.” Accordingly, when the foxes came to him, as of wont, and sought of him their food, saying, “O Abou Sirhan, give us our day’s provender,” he answered, “I have nothing left to give you.” Whereupon they went away in the sorriest case, saying, “Verily, God hath cast us into grievous trouble with this vile traitor, that feareth not God neither respecteth Him; but we have neither power nor resource.” But one of them said, “Belike it was but stress of hunger that moved him to this; so let him eat his fill to-day, and to-morrow we will go to him again.”

  So, on the morrow, they again betook themselves to the wolf and said to him, “O Abou Sirhan, we set thee in authority over us, that thou mightest allot unto each of us his day’s meat and do the weak justice against the strong of us and that, when this is finished, thou shouldst do thine endeavour to get us other and so we be still under thy safeguard and protection. Now hunger is sore upon us, for that we have not eaten these two days; so do thou give us our day’s meat and thou shalt be free to dispose of the rest as thou wilt.” But the wolf returned them no answer and redoubled in his stiffneckedness. So they strove to turn him from his purpose; but he would not be turned. Then said one of the foxes to the rest, “Nothing will serve us but that we go to the lion and cast ourselves on his protection and assign the camel unto him. If he vouchsafe us aught thereof it will be of his bounty, and if not, he is worthier of it than this filthy fellow.”

  So they betook themselves to the lion and acquainted him with that which had betided them with the wolf, saying, “We are thy servants and come to thee, imploring thy protection, so thou mayst deliver us from this wolf, and we will be thy slaves.” When the lion heard their story, he was jealous for God the Most High and went with them in quest of the wolf, who, seeing him making for him, addressed himself to flight; but the lion ran after him and seizing him, rent him in pieces and restored their prey to the foxes. This shows,’ added Shimas, ‘that it behoveth no king to neglect the affairs of his subjects; wherefore do thou hearken to my counsel and give credit to that which I say to thee; for thou knowest that thy father, before his decease, charged thee give ear unto loyal counsel. This is the last of my speech with thee and peace be on thee.’ Quoth the king, ‘I will hearken to thee and to-morrow, God willing, I will go forth to them.’

  So Shimas went forth from him and returning to the Folk, told them that the king had accepted his counsel and promised to come out unto them on the morrow. But, when the favourite heard this saying reported of Shimas and knew that needs must the king go forth to his subjects, she betook herself to him and said to him, ‘How great is my wonderment at thy submissiveness and obedience to thy slaves! Knowst thou not that these viziers are thy servants? Why then dost thou exalt them to such a pitch of importance that they conceit them it was they gave thee this kingship and advanced thee to this height and that it is they who confer favours on thee, albeit they have no power to do thee the least hurt? Indeed, it is they who owe thee submission, not thou who owest it unto them, and it is their duty to carry out thine orders; so how cometh it that thou art so mightily affrighted at them? It is said, “Except thy heart be like iron, thou art not fit to be a king.” But thy mildness hath deluded these men, so that they presume upon thee and cast off their allegiance to thee, albeit it behoveth that they be constrained unto obedience and enforced to submissiveness unto thee. If therefore, thou hasten to accept their words and leave them in their present case and fulfil to them the least thing against thy will, they will importune thee and presume upon thee, and this will become their wont. But, if thou hearken to me, thou wilt not advance any one of them to power neither wilt thou accept his word nor encourage him to presume upon thee; else wilt thou fare with them as did the shepherd with the robber.’ ‘How was that?’ asked the king, and she answered, ‘They say that

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  The Shepherd and the Thief.

  There was once a shepherd, who fed a flock of sheep in the desert and kept strait watch over them. One night, there came to him a thief thinking to steal some of his flock and finding him assiduous in guarding them, sleeping

  not by night neither relaxing in his vigilance by day, prowled about him all night, but could get nothing of him. So, when he was weary of striving, he betook himself to [another part of] the desert and trapping a lion, skinned him and stuffed his hide with straw; after which he carried it to a high place, where the shepherd might see it and be assured thereof, and set it up there. Then he went up to the shepherd and said to him, “Yonder lion hath sent me to demand his supper of these sheep.” “Where is the lion?” asked the shepherd; and the thief answered, “Lift thine eyes: there he stands.”

  The shepherd raised his eyes and seeing the stuffed hide, deemed it a very lion and was mightily affrighted; so he said to the thief, “O my brother, take what thou wilt. I will not anywise gainsay thee.” So the thief took what he would of the sheep and redoubled in avidity by reason of the excess of the shepherd’s affright. Accordingly, every little while, he would go to him and frighten him, saying, “The lion hath need of this and that, and his intent is to do
thus and thus,” and take what he would of the sheep; and he stinted not to do thus with him, till he had wasted the most part of his flock. This, O king,’ added the favourite, ‘I tell thee but that thou suffer not the grandees of thy realm to be deluded by thy mildness and easiness of temper and presume on thee; and in sound judgment their death were better than that they deal thus with thee.’ Quoth the king, ‘I accept this thine admonition and will not go hearken to their counsel neither go out unto them..

  On the morrow the viziers and officers of state and heads of the people assembled and taking each his arms, repaired to the palace of the king, so they might break in upon him and slay him and make another king in his stead. When they came to the door, they required the doorkeeper to open to them; but he refused, whereupon they sent to fetch fire, wherewith to burn down the doors and enter. The doorkeeper, hearing what was toward amongst them, went in to the king in haste and told him that the folk were gathered together at the gate. ‘And,’ quoth he, ‘they required me to open to them, but I refused and they have sent to fetch fire to burn down the doors withal, so they may come in to thee and slay thee. What dost thou bid me do?’ Quoth the king in himself, ‘Verily, I am fallen into sheer perdition.’

  Then he sent for the favourite and said to her, ‘Indeed, Shimas never told me aught but I found it true, and now the folk are come, great and small, purposing to slay me and thee; and for that the doorkeeper would not open to them, they have sent to fetch fire, to burn the doors withal: so will the house be burnt and we therein. What dost thou counsel me to do?’ ‘Let not thine affair affright thee,’ answered she; ‘no harm shall betide thee. This is a time in which crackbrains rise against their kings.’ ‘But what,’ asked he, ‘dost thou counsel me and how shall I do in this matter?’ Quoth she, ‘My advice is that thou bind thy head with a fillet and feign thyself sick: then send for the vizier Shimas, who will come and see the case wherein thou art; and do thou say to him, “Verily I purposed to go forth to the folk this day; but this sickness hindered me. So go thou out to them and acquaint them with my case and tell them that to-morrow I will without fail come forth to them and do their occasions and look into their affairs, so they may be reassured and their anger may subside.” Then do thou summon ten of thy father’s stoutest slaves, men of strength and prowess, to whom thou canst entrust thyself, giving ear to thy word and obedient to thy commandment, keeping thy secret and devoted to thy love, and bid them on the morrow stand at thy head nor suffer any of the folk to enter, save one by one; and all who enter do thou bid them put to death. If they agree with thee upon this, do thou to-morrow set up thy throne in the audience-chamber and open thy doors.