One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  The Four Hundred and Thirty-seventh Night,

  Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the two Kings said to the lord of the city, “Verily our need is not in this pair of youths,” and the third King added, “By Allah, indeed these two young men be fair of favour,” for that he had not seen the Prince who had taken his daughter’s Bird Philomelet. Presently the two asked the father saying, “Thou, is there by thee no issue other than these two?” and said he, “Yes, I have a son, but I have cast him out and I have placed his mother amongst the handmaids of the kitchen.” “Send to fetch him,” quoth they; so he dispatched a messenger to bring him into the presence. And he came, withal he was without any finery of dress; but as soon as the two damsels saw him they communed concerning him and he inclined to them and went into their pavilion, when they rose to him and threw their arms round his neck and kissed him between his eyes. Hereupon the mistress of the Bird said to the two others, “Be this he?” and said they, “Yes;” so she also arose and kissed his hand. But when he had finished greeting them he at once went forth to the assembled Kings, who stood up in honour to him and welcomed him and greeted him; and when his father saw that case he wondered with great wonderment. Then the youth took seat afar from his brothers and addressed them, saying, “Which of the twain was first to take the necklace?” And they held their peace. He resumed speech and said to them, “Which of you killed the Lion and which of you slew the Elephant and which of you embraved his heart and going into the bower of the august damsel, daughter to this Sultan, carried off her Bird Philomelet?” But they answered him never a syllable and were far from offering a reply. So he resumed, “Wherefore did you fall upon me and beat me and take away the Enchanting Bird, when I was able to slay you both? Yet to everything is its own time and this my father had banished me and banished my mother nor did he give her aught of what became her.” Saying these words the youth fell upon his two brethren with his sword and striking a single stroke he slew the twain, after which he would have assaulted his sire, and put him to death. However the three Kings forbade him and presently he whose daughter owned the Bird put an end to this by insisting upon the marriage-tie with him being tied. So he went in unto her that very night and the three damsels became his acknowledged spouses. After this his father gave command that his mother be admitted into the Palace and he honoured her and banished the parents of his two elder sons for he was assured that their cadet had done such derring-do by slaying the Lion and the Elephant and by bringing into the presence Philomelet the Enchanting Bird and he was certified that the deed had been done by none other. So he set apart a palace for the young Prince and his three Princesses and he gave him a commandment and their joys ever increased. And lastly the three Kings ceased not abiding in that place for forty days after which they devised their departure.?And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the King suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was,

  The Four Hundred and Thirty-eighth Night,

  Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the three Kings desired, one and all of them, to depart and return to their countries and their capitals; and their son-in-law presented them with gifts and rarities, whereupon they blessed him and went their ways. After this the young Prince, who had become Sovran and Sultan, took seat upon the throne of his realm and by the reign he was obeyed and the servants of Allah for him prayed. Presently on a day of the days he inclined to the hunt and the chase, so he went off with his suite till they found themselves in the middle of the wildest of wolds where the ruler came upon an underground cavern. He proposed to enter therein, when his followers prevented him and behold, a man came to him from the desert showing the signs of wayfare and carrying a somewhat of water and victual and his garments were all threadbare. The King enquired of him saying, “Whence hast thou come and wither art thou going?” and the other replied, “We be three in this antre who have fled our country; and whenever we require aught of meat and drink, one of us fareth forth to fetch what will suffice us of provision for ten days.” “And what is the cause of your flying your native land?” asked the King, and the other answered, “Verily our tale is wondrous and our adventures are joyous and marvellous.” Hereupon quoth the King, “Walláhi, we will not quit this spot till such time as we shall have heard your histories; and let each one of you three recount to us what befell him, so that we hear it from his own mouth.” Hereupon the King commanded sundry of his suite to set forth home and the rest to abide beside him; and he sent a Chamberlain of the Chamberlains that he might go bring from the city somewhat of victual and water and wax candles and all the case required, saying the while to himself, “Verily the hearing of histories is better than hunting and birding, for haply they may solace and gladden the hearts of men.”323 So the Chamberlain went forth and, after an absence of an hour or so he returned bringing all the King had commanded; upon which he and the suite brought in the Larrikin324 together with his two companions until they led them to the presence and seated the three together. All this while none of the vagabonds knew that the personage before them was King of the city. So they fell to conversing until the next night came on when the Sovran bade them tell their tales of themselves and what had befallen each and every of them. They replied, “Hearkening and obedience;” and the foremost of them began to recite the

  Richard Francis Burton’s translation: detailed table of contents

  History of the First Larrikin.

  Verily, O King, my tale is a rare and it is e’en as follows:?I had a mother of whose flocks the World had left her but a single kid, and we owned ne’er another. Presently we determined to sell it; and, having so done, we bought it with its price a young calf, which we brought up for a whole year till it grew fat and full-sized. Then my mother said to me, “Take yon calf and go sell it;” so I went forth with it to the Bazar, and I saw that not one was like it, when behold, a body of vagabonds,325 who numbered some forty, looked at the beast, and it pleased them; so they said one to other, “Let us carry this away and cut its throat and flay it.” Then one of them, as all were standing afar off, came near me and said, “O youth, wilt thou sell this kid?” and quoth I, “O my uncle, verily this is a calf and not a kid;” and the other rejoined, “Art thou blind? This is a kid.” Cried I, “A calf!” So he asked, “Wilt thou take from me a dollar?”326 and I answered, “Nay, O my uncle!” Thereupon he went away from me, and another came after him and said, “O youth, wilt thou sell this kid?” and said I, “This is a calf,” and quoth he “This is a kid,” and reviled me the while I held my peace. Again quoth he, “Wilt thou take for this a dollar?” but I was not satisfied therewith, and they ceased not to wrangle with me, one after other, each coming up and saying, “O youth, wilt thou sell this kid?” At last their Shaykh327 accosted me and cried, “Wilt thou sell it?” and I rejoined, “There is no Majesty save in Allah! I will sell it on one condition, to wit, that I take from thee its tail.” Replied to me328 the Shaykh of the Vagabonds, “Thou shalt take the tail when we have slaughtered it;” then, paying me a dollar, he led off the beast, and returned to his own folk. Presently they killed it and flayed it, when I took the tail and hastened back to m
y mother. She said to me, “Hast thou sold the calf?” and said I, “Yes, I have sold it, and have taken a dollar and the calf’s tail.” “And what wilt thou do for the tail?” asked she; and I answered, “I will do him brown329 who took it from me saying, This is a kid, and I will serve him a sleight which shall get out of him to its price ten times one hundred.”330 With these words I arose and, taking the tail, I flayed it and studded it with nails and bits of glass, and I asked of my mother a maiden’s dress, which she brought me; and presently I covered my face with a Burka’-veil331 and I adorned me and perfumed myself and I girded my loins underneath my clothes with the tail of that calf. Then went I forth like a virgin girl till I reached the barrack of those blackguards, when I found that they had cooked the whole calf and naught of it remained undressed, and they had prepared to spread the table and were about sitting down to supper. Then I went332 in to them and said, “The Peace be upon you,” and they rose to me in a body of their joy, and returned my greetings and said, “By Allah, our night is a white one.” So I entered to them and supped with them, and they all inclined to me, and their mustachios wagged in token that they would disport with me. But when darkness came on they said, “This night is for our Shaykh, but after this each one of us shall take her for his own night.”?And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day, and fell silent and ceased to say her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I should relate to you on the coming night an the King suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was

  The Four Hundred and Forty-first Night,

  Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the vagabonds said, “Each one of us shall take her to him for a night after the Shaykh,” and so saying they left me and went their ways. Then the Chief fell to chatting with me and he was in high spirits, when suddenly my glance fell upon a rope hanging from the ceiling of that barrack and I cried, “O Shaykh!” whereto he replied, “Yes, O my lady and light of mine eyes.” Said I to him, “What may be this cord thus suspended?” and said he, “This is called ‘hanging-gear’; and, when any of ours requireth chastisement from my associates, we hoist him up by this rope and we bash him.” Quoth I, “Hang me up and let me see how ’tis done,” but quoth he, “Heaven forfend, O my lady! I will hang myself in thy stead and thou shalt look upon me.” Hereat he arose and tied himself tight and cried, “Haul up this rope and make it fast in such a place!” I did his bidding and bound it right firmly and left him hanging in the air. Presently he cried, “Let go the cord,” and replied I, “O Shaykh, first let me enoy the spectacle.” Then I stripped him of all his clothing and drawing forth the calf’s tail which was studded with nails and glass splinters, I said to him, “O Shaykh, is this the tail of a kid or of a calf?” “What woman art thou?” asked he, and I answered, “I am the owner of the calf;” and then, tucking up my two sleeves to the elbows, I beat him till I stripped him of his skin and he lost his senses and he had no breath wherewith to speak. Thereupon I arose and fell to searching the hall, where I found sundry valuables amongst which was a box, so I opened it and came upon three hundred gold pieces and a store of reals333 and silverlings and jadids.334 I laid hands on the whole of it and bore off somewhat of the most sumptuous dresses; and, having wrapped them all up in a sheet, I carried them away; and about dawn I went in to my mother and cried, “Take thee to the price of the calf, which I have received from the purchaser.” But when the day was high and the sun waxed hot the whole troop of the Shaykh collected and said, “Verily our Elder hath slept till the undurn hour;” and one of them declared, “’Tis from enjoying so much pleasure and luxury, he and the girl; and doubtless their night hath been a white335 night.” So they ceased not talking together and each of them had his word until the noon was high, when certain of them said, “Come with us and let us rouse him from sleep:” and, saying thus, all went to the door of the hall and opened it. Hereupon they found their Shaykh hanging up and his body bleeding profusely;336 so they asked him, “What hath befallen thee?” and he answered in a weak voice, “Verily that girl is no girl at all, but she is the youth who owned the calf.” They replied, “By Allah, there is no help but that we seize him and slay him;” whereto the Elder said, “Loose me and lead me to the Hammam that I may wash clean my skin of all this blood.” Then they let him down and after mounting him upon a donkey they bore him to the baths. Hereat I went to the slaughter-house and and covered my body with bullocks’ blood and stuck to it pledgets of cotton so that I became like one sorely diseased and I repaired to the same Hammam propped upon a staff and required admittance. They refused me saying, “The Shaykh of the Vagabonds is now in the baths nor may anyone go in to him.” Quoth I to them, “I am a man with a malady,” whereto quoth one of them, “This is a poor wight, so let him come within.” Accordingly I entered and found the Chief alone, whereupon I drew forth the tail and asked him, “O Shaykh, is this the tail of a calf or a kid?” “Who art thou?” said he, and I said, “I am the owner of the calf;” after which I fell to beating him with the tail until his breath was clean gone. Then I left him and went forth from the Hammam by another door so as to avoid his followers.?And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I should relate to you on the coming night an the King suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was

  The Four Hundred and Forty-second Night,

  Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the youth, the owner of the calf, after beating the Shaykh of the Vagabonds with a sore bashing within the Bath went forth by the back door. Whereupon (continued the Larrikin) the followers of the Chief went in and they found him at his last breath and moaning from the excess of blows. Quoth they, “What is the matter with thee?” and quoth he, “That man with a malady who came into the Hammam is none other but the owner of the calf and he hath killed me.” So they took him up and carried him from the place and he said to them, “Do ye bear me outside the city and set up for me a tent and lay me therein, after which do ye gather round about me and never leave me at all.” Hereat they mounted him upon an ass and bore him to the place he described and, pitching a tent, set him therein and all sat around him. Presently the tidings reached me, whereupon I changed my clothes for a disguise and drew near the tent whereabouts I found a Badawi-man feeding his sheep. So I said to him, “O Badawi, take this ducat and draw near yonder tent and call aloud, saying, ‘I am the owner of the calf;’ after which make off with thy life for an they catch thee they will slay thee.” “By Allah,” quoth the Arab, “even if they rode their best mares none of them could come up with me!” So I took charge of the sheep while the Badawi approaching the tent cried in his loudest voice, “By Allah, I am the owner of the calf.” Hearing this the vagabonds sprang to their feet as one body and drew their weapons and rushed after the Badawi; but, when he had run some distance from the tent with all the men behind him, I went in and drawing from below my clothes the tail of the calf said, “O Shaykh, is this the tail of a calf or a kid?” The Elder asked, “Art thou not he who cried out, I am the owner of the calf?” and I answered, “No, I am not,” and came down upon him with the t
ail and beat him until he could no longer breathe. Then I took the properties belonging to his party and wrapping them in a sheet carried them off and quitting the place I went in to my mother and said to her, “Take them to the worth of the calf.” Now those who had run after the Badawi ceased not pursuing him, yet could none of them come up with him and when they were tired they returned from the chase and stinted not walking until they entered the tent. There they found the Shaykh breathless nor could he move save to make signs; so they sprinkled a little water upon his face; and the life returned to him and he said to them, “Verily the owner of the calf came to me and beat me till he killed me and the wight who cried, ‘I am the owner of the calf’ is an accomplice of his.” Thereupon all waxed furious and the Elder said to them, “Bear me home and give out that your Shakyh is deceased; after which do you bathe my body and carry me to the cemetery and bury me by night and next morning disinter me so that the owner of this calf may hear that I am dead and leave me in peace. Indeed as long as I continue in this condition he will devise for me device after device and some day will come into me and kill me downright.” They did what their Shaykh bade them and began crying and keening and saying, “Verily our Chief is deceased,” so that the report was bruited abroad that the Shaykh of the Vagabonds had died. But I, the owner of the calf, said to myself, “By Allah, an he be dead, they will assuredly make for him some mourning ceremony.” Now when they had washed him and shrouded him and carried him out upon the bier, and were proceeding to the graveyard that they might bury him, and had reached half way to it, lo and behold! I joined the funeral train and suddenly walking under the coffin with a sharp packing-needle337 in hand,?And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable.” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I should relate to you on the coming night an the King suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was