Wish Upon a Cowboy

by Jennie Marts

  “Of course I like her. She’s funny, she’s smart, she’s beautiful. And we get along great.”

  “So, what’s the problem?”

  “The problem is we have no future. It doesn’t matter how much I like her; she’s not sticking around. When it comes to me, women never do.”

  “That’s a little maudlin.”

  He lifted one shoulder, then let it drop. “It’s true. That’s what the women in my life do. Any woman I’ve ever really cared about has left. Come on, Bryn. We’ve been friends since we were kids. You know my mom ran off, and then the first girl I thought I loved left me too. And now my sister has even gone and left me.”

  “Oh geez. You can’t blame Quinn for getting married. And please don’t tell me you fell in love with Kimberly Cox!”

  “Not really. I was just a kid, but the result was the same. So, I guess I’ve always figured it was easier to push someone away than give them a chance to leave. And I already know Harper’s going to leave. She told me right from the beginning. There’s never been any question. She has a house, a home, in Kansas. She told me she was planning to go back as soon as she settled some family stuff here. And I guess that family stuff was Floyd. Which now is settled. So there’s no use even thinking about it. She’s going to leave. End of story.”

  “Have you asked her to stay?”

  Her question and the realization of the answer to it hit him like a punch to the stomach. “No. I’ve never asked anyone to stay.”

  “Then how do you know what she’s going to say? Come on, Lo. You have to cut this woman a little bit of a break. The reason she came to town was to fight for her kid. I’m sure she didn’t plan on falling for you. That has to be pretty scary for her too. I mean, I’m just spitballing here, but didn’t Floyd’s dad die? Harper’s got to have some issues over being left behind herself and losing someone she loved. And the girl comes with a lot of baggage. Maybe the reason she didn’t tell you everything was because she was afraid she’d lose you. Maybe she has some of the same issues you do, and maybe she thought as soon as you found out about all her stuff, you’d be the one to leave.”

  “Me? Why would I leave? I’m not like my mom. I don’t walk away from the people I love.”

  Bryn inhaled a sharp breath. “Wow. That was a big statement.”

  He took a deep breath. “Yeah, I guess it was.”

  “Are you in love with Harper?”

  He slowly nodded his head. “I think so. If the ache in my heart and the nauseous feeling in my gut are any indication, then I guess I am.”

  “That’s kind of big deal,” Bryn said. “Logan, you’re a great guy. You’re worthy of being loved, but of course people will leave if you push them away. Now you have to give someone a chance to prove they’ll stay.”

  He scrubbed a hand through his hair, trying to decide what to do. This woman had already stomped on his heart. Could he give her another chance to totally obliterate it? Bryn was right. He hadn’t given Harper a chance to stay. He’d shut her down and walked away. He hadn’t even fought for her. Fought for them. Hell, he’d spent more time trying to round up his cattle than he’d spent trying to save what he had with her.

  Bryn narrowed her eyes. “I can see the wheels spinning. But it doesn’t help to sit around here and think about it. What are you going to do about it?”

  He clapped his hands on his knees and pushed up from the sofa. “I guess I’m going to go find her. And ask her to stay.”

  * * *

  His quest was easier said than done. Thirty minutes later, Logan was still trying to find her.

  He’d known Harper wasn’t with Bryn, and he’d already checked the bunkhouse, but she wasn’t there either. His best guess was that she was at Judith’s, but no one had answered when he’d rung her doorbell. He couldn’t drive around town and look for Harper’s car because she didn’t have one.

  The judge had said she could take Floyd. Maybe she’d already packed him up, and they were already on a bus back to Kansas.

  He didn’t know where else to look. All he could do was head back to the ranch. He stopped at the one stoplight in town and leaned his head on the steering wheel, praying for a Christmas miracle. Not that he believed in miracles.

  The light turned green and he sighed, discouragement filling him as he drove down the street, the Christmas star twinkling on the top of the church a hard reminder that he’d be alone in the morning.

  His brow furrowed as he noticed the church parking lot full of cars. What was going on there?

  The Christmas Celebration. He’d made a date to go to it with Harper. His heart lifted as he turned into the parking lot.

  Maybe he believed in miracles after all.

  Chapter 26

  Harper held Floyd’s hand as he led her from one booth to the next until they’d visited every station of the Christmas carnival. They’d laughed as they’d raced plastic penguins, tossed rings over reindeers’ antlers, decorated a gingerbread house, and played pin the nose on the snowman. They’d each made a holiday craft and eaten popcorn balls and drunk cups of hot chocolate chock-full of marshmallows.

  When they’d first arrived, she’d searched every face to see if Logan had remembered their “date” to come to the carnival together, but after an hour, she’d given up. It didn’t matter. What mattered was she was here with her son, and they were having a great time.

  Ignoring the ache in her heart at losing the first man she’d had any real feelings for since Michael, she focused on Floyd and let the sound of his laughter, a sound she’d dearly missed, fill her heart instead.

  “Are you two having fun?” Judith asked, walking up to them as they stood in line for the cakewalk. They’d done it once, but Floyd wanted to try again.

  “Yeah, we’re having the best time ever,” Floyd told her. A grin covered his face, hot chocolate tinging the corners of his lips.

  “I’m glad.”

  “We were just going to try the cakewalk again,” Harper said. “Would you like to join us?”

  “I’m always up for a game of chance. Especially when there’s cake involved.” She smiled and stepped in line with them just as the sound of a guitar strum filled the room. They were standing to the side of the small raised stage, and Judith nodded toward the band who were starting to warm up there. “This band is wonderful. They’re here every year. They usually play a mix of Christmas songs and some contemporary stuff so folks can dance.”

  She might have said something else, but Harper couldn’t hear her over the sound of her heartbeat pounding in her ears. She’d turned when she’d heard the guitar and had seen the tall cowboy standing on the other side of the stage.

  Logan.

  It was him, and he was walking toward her. He reached her side just as the band began to play a slow country song. “Can I have this dance?”

  She nodded, her mouth dry, then looked back at Judith and Floyd. “Are you guys okay doing the cakewalk without me?”

  Floyd shrugged. “Sure. We already did it once before.”

  Judith gave her a knowing smile. “I’ve got this covered.”

  Harper was still holding her son’s hand, and she pressed it into Judith’s, a gesture she hoped the other woman understood meant more than just taking her place in the cakewalk. They both loved Floyd, and having one of them in his life didn’t mean that he couldn’t have the other.

  Love wasn’t a small thing she was supposed to keep to herself and parcel out only to a select few people. Love was big, bigger than her, and even when she thought her heart couldn’t hold it all, the last few days had shown her that it seemed to only grow bigger the more she offered it to others.

  And she had the chance to offer it to Logan right now. She took his outstretched hand and let him lead her onto the dance floor and pull her into his arms. “I didn’t think you were coming.”

  “We had a date,
remember?”

  “I remember.”

  “I wasn’t sure you’d be here either,” he said. “I wondered if you’d already taken off for Kansas. But I saw the star on the church, and I somehow knew you’d be here.”

  She leaned her head onto his shoulder. He felt so solid, so real. But none of this felt real. It felt like the last few days with him had been a dream. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. About Floyd.”

  “I don’t get it. He’s a great kid. And it wouldn’t have mattered to me if you had a child. Why didn’t you just tell me?”

  “I wanted to tell you. I swear I did. And I tried several times, but I knew that if I told you I had a son, I would have to tell you why he wasn’t with me. And then I’d have to tell you about being in jail. And I just couldn’t bear to see the look in your eyes once you knew what kind of person I really was. For once, I’d met someone who didn’t know any of the awful things I’d done, and I wanted to enjoy it, just for a little while.

  “I knew once I got Floyd back you’d find out, and I was going to tell you last night after the hockey practice. I swear I was. I even considered having you come to Judith’s with me. But then everything went crazy, and I never got a chance.

  “You treated me like I was someone special, like I was worthy of being with a guy like you, not like I was the dirt under your shoe. But I knew all that would change when you found out I’d been to jail and lost my son. Especially after you told me about your feelings toward your own mom. How could I tell you that I’d lost my son after you’d shared your story with me?

  “For so long now, I’ve felt like the only person I could count on was myself. Every time I trusted someone or let myself love them, they left me. After Michael died, then my grandmother, I felt like I had to stop believing in other people and just trust myself. Then I met you, and you made me want to believe again.”

  “You can believe in me.” He reached up and cupped her cheek. “I understand how you feel. I was afraid to let myself care too much about you, because I knew you were going to leave, just like every other woman in my life. But I’m not like that. I won’t hurt you. And I won’t walk out on someone I love.”

  She inhaled a sharp breath of air. Everything else in the room dropped away, and all she could focus on was Logan’s face, and the love shining in his blue eyes.

  He tipped his forehead to meet hers. “Yes, you heard me right. I’m in love with you, Harper. For better or for worse. I’ve never had someone take my heart and wring it out and fill it up the way you have. I love the way you make me laugh and the way you’re the first one to jump in and help when anyone needs you. I love your smile and your laugh and the soft sigh you make when I kiss your neck. I don’t want you to leave before we’ve even had a chance to see where this thing leads. I want to get to know you as a mom and spend time with you and Floyd.”

  He leaned in and brushed her lips with a kiss.

  Harper’s heart—the one she was sure was broken beyond all repair—beat loud and strong in her chest. He’d just said he was in love with her. She knew that had taken guts. Now it was her turn to be brave. To let down her defenses and trust.

  She took a deep breath and locked her gaze with his. “I love you too,” she said, the words coming out in a rush.

  His eyes widened, and a grin creased his face. “You do?”

  She nodded.

  “Harper, I’ve got to say this. I realized tonight that I’ve always felt as if I’ve been left behind, but I’ve never asked anyone to stay. And I’ll still love you, whether you choose to go or stay. But I’m asking you now, will you stay? Here? With me?”

  Before she could answer, the song ended and the other couples made their way off the dance floor, sweeping them along in their wake. Some of them looked at her with smiles or smirks, and she knew they’d heard at least some of what she and Logan had said to each other.

  Floyd crashed into her legs, throwing his arms around her. “Mom, Mom. I won a cake. Look.” He held up a small aluminum loaf pan, the sides bending and the top of the pan smeared with a thick layer of chocolate frosting. “Can we have some?”

  She laughed. “Why not? It is Christmas Eve.” She looked at Logan. “Would you like to join us for a piece of this lovely cake?”

  His lips curved into a devilish grin. “Sure. I like cake. And I seem to recall you mentioning something about some frosting.”

  “I seem to recall that conversation too. I think that’s a discussion we need to revisit.” She laughed as she led them to the rows of tables and chairs set up on the side of the room. Judith found them forks, and they all sat around the table, laughing and talking as they ate the cake right out of the pan.

  The lights dimmed, signaling the church service was about to begin.

  “We’re going to the candlelight service,” Harper told Logan. “Would you like to join us?”

  “I’d like that very much.”

  They filed into the sanctuary, and each took a candle before slipping into a pew. The service wasn’t long, but Harper was aware of Logan’s every movement as he sat next to her—his warm shoulder nestled against hers, the press of his thigh against hers, the sound of his rich voice as it joined hers in singing the old familiar Christmas songs.

  As the last song ended, the choir filed into the aisles of the sanctuary, picking up and lighting a candle as they passed the altar. The room was hushed as they moved down the rows, lighting the candle of the person on the end who then lit the candles of the rest of their row.

  Once all the candles were lit, the choir began to sing “Silent Night” as they traveled back up the aisles and into the choir loft. As they reached the chorus, everyone in the sanctuary lifted their candle, raising it to the heavens as they lifted their voices in song.

  As the glow of the candles filled the room, Harper peered around and thought the sanctuary looked like a room full of twinkling stars. She closed her eyes, holding back the sting of tears that threatened to spill, as she made a wish upon all the glittering stars.

  Opening her eyes, she peered up at Logan, her heart making its own wish upon a cowboy.

  Logan looked down at her, smiled, and took her hand, the love shining in his eyes as brightly as the candle’s flame.

  * * *

  The next morning, Harper held Floyd’s hand as they made their way across the gravel to the farmhouse. They were having Christmas breakfast with Logan.

  The night before had been one of the top ten best nights of her life, Harper thought as she walked up the porch steps.

  They’d said goodbye to Judith at the church, after making plans to get together today, then Logan had followed her and Floyd home and walked them to the door of the bunkhouse. He’d said he knew how hard she’d worked on the place and wanted her to have the time alone to share it with Floyd. Then he’d given her a soft kiss good night—a kiss filled with promise and hope.

  Floyd had loved the bunkhouse and all the decorations she’d made, and he’d gone crazy over the space-themed bedroom. They’d lain in his bed and talked for what felt like hours, and she’d been surprised when he’d finally fallen asleep.

  The late night hadn’t bothered him, though, because he’d been bouncing on her bed first thing this morning, asking her if she thought Santa had found him in this new place. She wasn’t sure if he still believed, or if he wanted to still believe, but this wasn’t the year she was going to tell him anything different.

  The front door opened, and Harper grinned as she took in the best gift Santa could have ever given her. She wasn’t sure which list she’d made of Santa’s this year, but looking at the tall cowboy standing in front of her made her want to be both naughty and nice.

  “Merry Christmas,” Logan said, his face split in a beaming smile. He had on jeans and boots and wore a raglan T-shirt with red sleeves that had a picture of a cow wearing a Santa hat and read
“Have a Moo-y Christmas.”

  “Nice shirt,” Harper said, not sure if she should hug him or give him a Christmas kiss or just walk past him into the room.

  “Thanks. Quinn found it in a clearance bin and gave it to me to be funny, and now I wear it every year just to annoy her.” He saved her from having to decide what to do by pulling her into a hug. Then he stole her heart when he gave Floyd a hug too.

  “Is Quinn going to be here today?” she asked as she followed him into the kitchen where he had a mess of pans and bowls covering the counters. “Geez, what are you trying to do in here?”

  “Make breakfast,” he said. “And Quinn and her crew may stop by. I couldn’t sleep last night, so I invited a few other people as well. I figured we’d make it a Christmas potluck.”

  “A Christmas potluck?” The idea sounded kind of nice. “What are we making?” She liked using the word we. It felt a little foreign, but it was growing on her.

  Logan shrugged. “I’m not sure. I figured I could smoke the ham that’s in the fridge and maybe you could make a cobbler. What do you think, Floyd? What’s your favorite dish for Christmas?”

  “Macaroni and cheese.”

  “That’s your favorite meal for every day,” Harper said as she tickled his ribs. Hearing him giggle with laughter was the best gift she could get for Christmas.

  “That’s an excellent choice,” Logan said, offering Floyd a high five. “Now who wants to help me make these pancakes?”

  Floyd raised his hand, and Logan lifted him onto the counter while Harper attacked the mess of dishes. They spent the next hour in the kitchen, eating pancakes and preparing the dishes for the potluck. Harper was surprised at how easily Floyd and Logan got along and how much fun the three of them had together. She knew Logan was Floyd’s hockey coach, but it still struck her how genuine he was with her son.

  They had the cobbler baked, the ham in the smoker, the mac and cheese in the oven, and the kitchen back in order when the first car arrived. It was Judith, and Floyd ran out to greet her with a hug. He really loved his grandma, and Harper didn’t want to ruin that relationship.