A Painter in Penang: A Gripping Story of the Malayan Emergency
Page 29
Jasmine looked from Reggie to Mary. Both of them were smiling, holding hands under the table in a gesture of unity.
‘We’ve both taken to him, Jasmine,’ said Mary. ‘As has Frances. Obviously, we have to give Amir time to grieve for his mother’s death, but we both believe…’ She glanced at Reggie for approval before continuing. ‘We both believe that Amir could be the son we had hoped for but cannot have. Frances was our miracle. We never expected to be blessed again when the doctors told me I could never bear another child. So, Amir may prove to be our second miracle.’ Mary was still holding Reggie’s hand. ‘One thing we want to make clear, Jasmine, you are his sister and his next of kin. We need your blessing. We won’t do it without that.’
Tears welled in Jasmine’s eyes. ‘I’ve been hoping and praying for this. I don’t even think I believe in God, but I wasn’t taking any chances. You two mean as much to me as Mummy and Arthur do. Amir and Hugh are my only blood relatives. My blood brothers. Hugh is with Mummy and Arthur. What could be better than Amir being with you? That would make me so happy.’ She held her hands out and clasped both of theirs.
* * *
About a fortnight after Nayla’s funeral, instead of retiring to the veranda for his habitual pre-dinner stengah Reggie asked Jasmine if he could come and look at her studio. ‘I’ve been meaning to look at all the great work Mary tells me you’ve been doing.’
Jasmine grinned. ‘Really, Reggie? I’d no idea you were interested in art.’
He winked. ‘I’m rather hoping you’ll give me some clues so I can report back to Mary and convince her that I know what I’m talking about.’
She smiled and they went into the studio. It was growing dark. Reggie turned to look at her. ‘I can’t pretend.’ He sucked his lips in. ‘I’ve brought you here on false pretences, Jasmine. I want to know if you’re still happy about Mary and me eventually adopting Amir?’
‘I couldn’t be happier. It’s perfect. As long as you’re happy, Reggie.’ She hesitated then added, ‘I know it was Mary’s idea and I’d hate to think you were going along with it just to keep her happy.’
He shook his head, smiling. ‘I’m the happiest man on earth. Mary and I are as one on this. I miss Stanford dreadfully, and I’ve had to come to terms with that. Knowing Mary and I couldn’t have any more children was a bitter blow, but I’m more than grateful that we have each other and our darling Frances.’ He paused, seeming embarrassed to be speaking so openly. ‘Yes, it’s hard to believe, but I fell in love with that little lad the moment I set eyes on him. I promise you, Jasmine, I will love and care for Amir as if he were my own son. Mary and I have come to see you as another daughter. When you eventually leave us, it will be hard to let you go. Having your brother here as part of our family, as our son, well…’ His voice broke and he put his hand up to cover his eyes.
‘Oh, dear Reggie,’ she said and gave him a hug. ‘You lovely man.’
33
Jasmine’s examination results were in and she had done well enough to make Mary beam from ear to ear and jump up and down on the spot. ‘You clever thing! I knew you wouldn’t disappoint. Evie and Arthur will be so proud of you.’
‘I couldn’t have done it without you, Mary.’
‘I did nothing. Merely tested you on those dratted irregular verbs.’
‘It’s not just that. It’s everything else you’ve done for me. If I’d stayed in Nairobi I’d never have taken the exams, let alone done well in them. You opened your home to me, made me feel part of the family, put up with my moods and supported me through everything.’
‘You are part of our family. And even more so since your brother is going to be our son. Reggie and I think of you as a daughter, even though it’s an honour we share with Evie and Arthur.
Jasmine flung her arms around her dear friend.
‘I think I’ve done well enough to apply for a place at the Beaux Arts in Paris. Apparently, they accept the school leaving certificate results in lieu of the French Baccalaureate – just as well as I don’t think I could face another set of exams.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘But they get loads more applicants than they have places and you have to present a portfolio and then a jury interviews the best candidates. I probably don’t stand a chance but I’m going to have a jolly good try.’
‘I have every faith in you, Jasmine.’
‘If they won’t take me, I’ll carry on painting anyway.’ She drummed her fingers on the wooden arm of her chair. ‘The art schools in London are very good but I don’t think I could bear London. It’s so bleak.’
‘New York?’
‘Ooh no! Far too scary. I’d feel crowded in by all those skyscrapers. And it’s simply too far away. No. It’s Paris or nothing.’
‘Then you’d better make sure it’s Paris, hadn’t you?’
Jasmine grinned. ‘Yes. I need to make my portfolio so good they can’t possibly refuse me.’
‘When does the term begin?’
‘Next year. September.’
‘Have you told Evie and Arthur about it yet?’
‘No. Well, they know I was thinking about art school, but I hadn’t actually broached the subject of Paris.’ She plucked at the fabric of her skirt. ‘I was thinking of going to Nairobi for Christmas so I can tell them in person. It’s been a long time.’
‘It’s gone too quickly for me. Reggie as well. We were only saying so yesterday.’
Jasmine hesitated. ‘I thought I might stay there after Christmas. Spend my last months before art school with them. I feel as though I left them rather ungraciously. But if the Beaux Arts turn me down, I was wondering if you might agree to me coming back here.’
‘Nothing would make us happier. We will always have a home for you here, Jasmine. Whenever you need it.’
The sound of Frances’s laughter drifted towards them across the lawn. Jinjiang had hung sheets on the washing line and Amir was playing a game with Frances, wrapping himself in a sheet like a ghost then popping out and saying ‘Boo!’ to her endless amusement.
‘Amir is so brave. He puts his sorrow aside to play with Frances.’ Mary gave a wistful smile. ‘I don’t know how he manages to do it. I just hope Frances’s love for him is helping him recover.’
‘They adore each other. I can’t believe how well Amir has settled. It’s hard to believe he witnessed his mother being murdered.’ Jasmine gazed at her brother across the lawn.
Mary frowned. ‘Children are incredibly adaptable. But he wakes in the night crying for Nayla. I leave his bedroom door open so I can hear and go to him when it happens. It’s becoming less often and not at all in the past week.’
‘I’m so happy he has you and Reggie.’ She thought for a moment. ‘Would you mind if I took him to meet Bintang’s grandmother? They are both going through grief and they might be able to help each other. The grandmother must be lonely.’
Mary smiled. ‘That’s a lovely idea, Jasmine. It’s also important for Amir to keep his links with the Malayan language and people.’
‘You don’t mind?’
‘Not at all. And I’m sure the old lady would love to meet him, Jasmine.’
Jasmine squeezed her hands together. ‘Then I’ll take him there this afternoon.’
‘I was just thinking, Jasmine, since you have to work on your portfolio, I’d better let you off your teaching duties until you leave.’
‘You’d better not! I love being at the school. Besides I plan to photograph the children’s art with the camera Mummy and Arthur sent me and find a way to include something related to it in my portfolio. It would give me something interesting and a bit different to talk about if I get called to interview. How we introduced painting and collage to the children when they’d never done anything like that before. It’s an essential part of my entire Penang painting project. I’m excited. I’ve got lots of ideas mulling about in my brain on how to bring it alive. I bet no one else will have anything similar. It’s all about making the jury think you have something different to offer.
Not just talent.’
‘How will they ever be able to refuse you?’
‘That’s the idea.’
‘So, you’ll be leaving here before Christmas?’ Mary’s mouth turned down.
Jasmine nodded. ‘If you won’t mind me going. I was thinking in two weeks’ time.’
‘Of course, I’ll mind – but I totally understand. It’s the right thing to do.’ Mary gave her a tight-lipped smile. Does Howard Baxter know you’re leaving?’
Jasmine felt herself blushing. ‘Not yet. Well…maybe I won’t tell him at all.’
‘That’s rather cruel. He’ll be hurt if he misses the chance to say goodbye to you. I know you didn’t hit it off with him but he’s awfully fond of you. Wouldn’t you like me to invite him up here for a weekend – maybe next week?’
‘No. Please don’t.’ A sudden rush of emotion hit Jasmine and she bit her lip. ‘I think if you did I might find it too hard to say goodbye.’
‘Oh, my goodness, Jasmine! You do have feelings for him.’
The blood rushed again to Jasmine’s face. ‘I don’t know. I really don’t know what I feel. He saved my life and I was horrid to him. All I’ve ever been is horrid to him.’ She sucked her lips in. ‘I don’t know what to think anymore. It’s probably because I’m frightened. Really scared of feeling something for him.’
Mary took her hand. ‘Loving someone can be a very scary thing. I do understand exactly what you’re going through, my darling. With Reggie, the feeling was so unexpected and so strong that it terrified me and I hid myself away. I wouldn’t acknowledge how I felt, even to myself. It took your mother to make me confront it.’
‘Why did it make you afraid? There’s nothing scary about Reggie.’
Mary smiled. ‘There’s nothing scary about Howard either. It’s our emotions that scare us. The intensity. In my case it came from nowhere. I’d been engaged to be married twice before and had lost both men, one of them Reggie’s brother. I’d made my mind up that I was cursed. Reggie was so completely not my idea of the man I’d spend my life with that I let my guard down when we met again after the war. My feelings for him overwhelmed me. I didn’t see it coming. So, I shut him out. It was as if I curled myself into a tight ball like a hedgehog. Now, rather than believing that I was cursed, I realise that the right man hadn’t come into my life until Reggie did.’
‘What a beautiful story. Thank you for telling me that, Mary.’
‘So, you will see Howard? You’ll give him a chance?’
‘I can’t. Don’t you see, Mary. I met Howard at the wrong time, just as you met Reggie at the right one. If I don’t study painting now I never will. Whatever my feelings for Howard might turn out to be, if I see him and let him persuade me to stay, I will be letting myself down. I have to follow my dreams. And to be honest, Mary, they don’t include being stuck in an ugly bungalow out at Batu Lembah, kicking my heels and having babies while my husband is out working all day. It’s not like here. Up here on the island, it’s beautiful. Over there, it’s just a flat expanse of rubber trees.’
Mary nodded. ‘Perhaps you’re right. You are very young. And very talented. If Howard is the one for you, he’ll wait for you.’
‘That’s why I can’t say goodbye. I can’t give him that hope. Who knows what will happen with me? He’s older. He can’t put his life on hold waiting for me to grow up and settle down. I couldn’t do that to him.’ She felt tears brimming in her eyes and sniffed them away. ‘No. The way I feel now I’m sure if he were to come here for the weekend I’d crumble. And I don’t want to crumble. I won’t let myself crumble. I will go to Paris. I simply must.’
‘Very well. I understand. Will you write to him?’
‘Probably not. Though it will kill me not to. If I do, he might not get me out of his system and get on with his life.’
‘You are such a strong person for one so young, Jasmine.’
Jasmine smiled. ‘Not inside I’m not. I’m a great big pile of wobbly jelly.’
Mary got up. ‘I’m going to go and see what those two are up too. Poor Jinjiang’s probably run ragged. And it’s time you were in that studio of yours. It sounds like you’ve a lot to do.’
34
Jasmine knew saying goodbye to her Penang family was going to be hard, but it was even more painful than she imagined. They had all piled into the car together, having sent her luggage ahead to the ship.
Now that they were here on the quayside, Mary appeared anxious to get away. ‘If you don’t mind awfully, Jasmine, I think we’ll say goodbye now. We promised the children we’d take them to the Swimming Club and you’ll want time to settle into your cabin before you sail. I really hate goodbyes.’
‘Me too.’ Why was Mary so eager to get away? Had she already written her out of their lives and was anxious to get on with cementing Amir into his new family? She felt a little hurt. But then she hated goodbyes too. Better to get on with it. She wrapped her arms around her little brother one last time and tears streaming down her cheeks watched them climb into the car and drive away.
As she dried her eyes and turned to make her way onto the ship, Howard Baxter was standing in front of her. Jasmine gasped. That must be why the Hyde-Underwoods had beat such a hasty retreat.
Howard moved towards her, looking uncomfortable, nervous even. He was wearing shorts and his long legs were tanned. He ran a hand through his hair. ‘I was shocked when I got Mary’s letter. I’d been hoping you were going to stay on here in Penang.’ He looked at her intently. ‘I can’t believe you’re actually going away.’
‘Neither can I. It’s all gone by so quickly. I love it here.’
‘So why leave?’ His eyes were sad, searching.
‘I haven’t seen my family in months.’
‘Then go for Christmas and come back after New Year. I thought you didn’t like Africa.’
‘I don’t, but I love my family and I left them rather too abruptly when I came here. This is the last significant amount of time I’ll get to spend with them – possibly ever – so I want to make the most of it. And I may have mixed up my problems at school with my feelings about Nairobi in general. I may actually even get to like it. You never know.’ She gave him what she hoped was a mischievous smile, intending to make light of the situation – when inside she felt anything but. ‘That’s the thing about me. I always get things mixed up.’
He looked at her sadly. ‘I’m going to miss you, Jasmine. More than you can even begin to imagine. I’m hoping you’re going to tire quickly of those dried-up plains and long for some lush green scenery. When you do, I’ll be here waiting for you.’
‘Don’t say that, Howard. I hate to think of you waiting for something that may never happen.’
He grinned. ‘May never happen? I’ll take heart from the fact you didn’t say won’t ever happen. And I’ve told you before, I’m a patient man. And in my experience, all the very best things in life are worth waiting for.’
‘It’s likely to be a long wait. Possibly forever. Certainly for a good few years. I’ve applied for a place at the Beaux Arts in Paris to study painting. It’s to do a foundation year and, assuming I get through that, the full Fine Arts course. Five years in total.’
His face fell. ‘A long time. But don’t most great artists just get on with painting? They don’t study it. Shouldn’t it be instinctive? You have a true talent, Jasmine. I’d hate to think they might teach that out of you.’
She smiled at him. ‘You are such a nice man, Howard. You really mean that, don’t you?’
‘Of course, I mean it.’
‘I have a lot to learn actually. I read somewhere that it’s only once you’ve mastered technique that you can afford to develop an individual style. I’ve had no formal training. I need to dig the foundations deeply enough or my house might fall down.’
He stretched out his hand and held his palm against her cheek. ‘Why are you so young and yet so wise?’
‘Silly!’ she laughed. ‘Nothing wise about me.Changin
g the subject, did you hear about my brother?’
‘Apart from the fact you’re now off to see him, no.’
‘Not that brother. My Malayan brother.’
Howard looked puzzled.
‘Your housekeeper, Nayla. You knew she was dead?’
‘Yes. Apparently, she was a communist. I’d never have guessed. Shows how much I know.’
‘She wasn’t a communist and she was shot in cold blood up at Bella Vista by Ellis. Remember him?
Howard nodded but he was frowning. ‘Unfortunately, yes. But why were they up at Bella Vista?’
‘It turns out her little boy, Amir, is my half-brother.’ She looked at him, suddenly nervous. ‘Nayla was my father’s housekeeper and evidently she was his mistress too.’
To her relief, Howard showed no sign of shock or disapproval. ‘I didn’t know that,’ he said.
‘Reggie and Mary are adopting Amir.’
‘Gosh. Really? How do you feel about that?’
‘Incredibly happy. They love him – as I do. And he’s growing to love them too. I was wondering… no, never mind.’
‘What? Tell me.’
‘It’s just… I was wondering whether you might occasionally stop by there to visit them and see Amir. Maybe, if you have time, drop me a line to tell me how he’s doing. Obviously, the Hyde-Underwoods will write, but they adore him and he may be afraid to tell them how he really feels. I thought if once in a while you happened to see him you could let me know how it looks to someone outside. I mean… I’d hate to think of him being sad…and being afraid to admit it. Missing his mother…you know what I mean.’
‘I’ll make it my personal mission.’
‘But don’t let Reggie and Mary know. I don’t want them to think I’m checking up on them, because I’m not.’
Howard clasped her hands between his. ‘Jasmine you don’t need to explain. I’m glad that you’ve asked me. That you trust me that way. Think of me as Amir’s honorary older brother.’ He gave her an easy grin. ‘And I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit I’m delighted to have the perfect excuse to write to you.’