Broken Hill High: The Broken Hill High Series (Book 1)

by Sheridan Anne

  “Were you planning on staying tonight?” she asks as she chops up some carrots.

  “Yeah, it gets a little lonely at home,” I explain.

  She nods her head and gives me a sympathetic smile. “I bet,” she says. “Dinner will be ready in an hour.”

  “Just enough time to get through my homework,” I tell her.

  She smiles and I make my exit before holing up in my room, avoiding the boys downstairs. Though, I can only avoid them for so long before Trish is calling me down to eat. I let out a sigh. I’d be more than happy to stay here for the rest of the night, but apparently, normal people like to eat dinner.

  I walk down and through the kitchen to see the table only set for three. I look up at Trish in confusion and find her sliding her handbag over her shoulder. She picks up on my blank look straight away and a smile takes over her face. “It’s Monday night, date night,” she informs me.

  “Oh,” I smile, pleasantly surprised. My parents haven’t gone out on a date since… well, I can’t actually remember. “Have a good time.”

  “Thanks, darling,” she says, giving my shoulder a squeeze before calling out for Cade to tell him to hurry up so they don’t miss their reservation.

  Trish goes to walk out of the dining room as the boys are walking in. She stops to give them each a kiss on the cheek before reminding them to be good and do their homework. They roll their eyes and before I know it, she’s gone and it’s just the three of us sitting down for dinner.

  I sit at the table, hating that I feel so awkward when clearly, the boys are as relaxed as can be. Nate digs straight in and helps himself to his dinner and I’m pleased to find him not insisting on dishing up my dinner for me.

  I fill up my glass while I wait for Jesse to dish up his own dinner before he passes the serving spoon to me. I head straight for the vegetables and find the smallest piece of meat on the tray, knowing this isn’t going to go well.

  I feel Nate’s glare on me but I ignore it as I make myself comfortable on the chair. The boys wolf down their dinner with a speed that I’m sure will be giving them a stomach ache while I pick and pull my dinner apart, mainly only eating a handful of vegetables.

  Nate hasn’t taken his eyes off me the whole time, and I swear, it just makes it worse. I can’t help but glance up at him only to find him scowling at me. I feel completely ashamed of myself. Embarrassed even.

  I look back down at my plate, hating that I have this problem. I wish I could just swallow my food and not have an issue, but I can’t. No matter how many times I try, I just can’t.

  My eyes pool with unshed tears but I don’t dare let them fall.

  I stab a piece of broccoli onto my fork and lift it to my mouth. I bite off the top of it and start chewing. If I was at home right now, I’d have probably have only eaten half as much as I already have, but here, with an audience, I’m forced to actually try, and from the look on both Nate and Jesse’s faces, I’m clearly not trying hard enough.

  I get halfway through my broccoli when Nate flies out of his chair, grabs my plate, and launches it across the room. The plate crashes into the wall and the expensive china shatters into a thousand pieces. “Fuck, Tora,” he demands.

  My eyes widen in shock as a gasp flies out of my mouth. My eyes meet Nate’s and he stares back at me with nothing but pure rage on his handsome face while his chest rises and falls with heavy breaths.

  My heart’s racing for a whole new reason and it’s one I don’t like. I swallow back fear as the look in his eyes is downright terrifying.

  Nate slams his fist down onto the table and before I know it, I’m pushing back out of my chair and running. I’m not ready to face this and I know if I stay at this table a second later, that’s exactly what he’s going to make me do.

  So, I run.

  I dash out of the dining room and out through the kitchen before heading for the stairs. I take two at a time and am just about to push through my bedroom door when his arms curls around my waist and he pulls me back before slamming me up against the wall.

  We stare at each other, both taking deep, heavy breaths. The rage is still bubbling up in his eyes but behind that is nothing but concern. “What the fuck is your problem?” he demands from right above me. “Do you think your fat?”

  I shrink back from him. “No,” I say in a quiet voice.

  “Then what is it, Tora?” he yells. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself. Do you have any idea how unhealthy this is?”

  “I…” I look away as the tears pooled in my eyes finally spill over.

  “Spit it out.”

  I swallow back as my watery eyes look up into his. My heart breaks with having to talk about it. “I… I just.” I let out a sigh. “I just don’t feel it,” I say, feeling like a stranger in my own skin.

  “Feel what?” he demands.

  I look away, once again ashamed of myself. “Beautiful,” I whisper.

  “Fuck,” he says, pushing himself off the wall and walking up the hallway. He stops a few steps up and presses both hands into the wall before hanging his head. I keep my eyes trained on him, certain that if I was to move, he’d come right back after me.

  “Fuck,” he says again, startling me as he rears back and punches a hole through the wall.

  I gasp and watch with wide eyes as he storms back towards me. He slides a warm arm around my waist before pulling me hard against his body. “You’re so fucking beautiful, it hurts,” he tells me with his head tilted down towards mine. “You always have been, Tora. Don’t you ever tell yourself that you’re not.”

  Another tear falls from my eye as he presses a kiss to my forehead. A moment later, he’s gone.

  I stand in the hallway staring at his closed door feeling lost. I want to go in there and demand answers for what happened this afternoon and what he just said. It doesn’t make sense for him to be kissing me and saying those things, especially after treating me so bad for the past five years.

  What the hell is happening here?

  I sink to the floor, not even having the energy to take the few steps to my room. My head falls into my hands as the tears silently flow. I cry not from the way he yelled and scared me but from the way he looked at me and challenged my beliefs. I mean, he looked at me and held me as though he truly believed it. Especially when he held me out on the couch this afternoon and pushed my hair off my face before he kissed me. I’ve never felt wanted like that.

  It wasn’t the same as when I was with Josh and I could tell he just wanted me to get naked. This was different, this was as though he thought I was precious. He said I was so beautiful it hurt.

  He’s making me feel things that I shouldn’t be feeling. He’s making me want to be better as the thought of having him looking at me with that same disappointment is almost enough to paralyze me.

  I take a breath and wipe the tears off my face.

  I need to be better cause I’ll be damned if I had either one of the Ryder brothers looking at me with pity again. I’ve kicked this diseases ass once before. I can do it again.

  I will be healthy.

  I will eat proper meals.

  I will not throw up my food.

  I will tell myself that I’m beautiful even though I don’t believe it.

  I will be the best version of myself, no matter how hard that is to achieve.

  I push myself up to my feet and with a fierce determination, I walk back down the stairs. When I get into the kitchen I gawk at the sight I thought I’d never see. Jesse Ryder cleaning up after himself. He stands at the sink rinsing off the dishes and grunting to himself about his brother being a dickhead.

  I grab a dustpan and broom and silently go in to help him. He gives me a grateful smile as I clean up the shattered pieces of china all over the floor. “You good?” Jesse questions as he places the leftover dinner in the fridge.

  I don’t meet his eyes as I nod, terrified that if I do, it will bring on the waterworks all over again. So instead, I concentrate on helping him clean.<
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  Ten minutes later, the dishwasher is running and I make my way upstairs with a plate of food in my hand. As I get to my door, Nate’s opens and he steps out into the hallway. His eyes instantly find mine before they lower to the plate in my hands.

  I don’t want to see what emotion flickers over his face next, so I push into my room and gently close the door behind me.

  I sit on my bed cross-legged and stare down at the plate. “I’m going to make you my bitch,” I tell it. I cut my knife through a piece of chicken and put it in my mouth.

  Chew.

  Swallow.

  Repeat.

  It takes me nearly an hour to finish off the plate and by the end, I sit with tears streaming down my face and the desperate need to throw it all up. But I won’t. Not this time.

  My stomach starts to ache but I manage to make my way downstairs to clean up my plate. When I get back, I stand under the hot stream of my shower before tucking myself into bed with my Kindle.

  I read for about an hour before my stomach starts to settle which is when I reach over and flick off the lamp on my bedside table.

  I’m just about asleep when the door of my room slowly pushes open. I look up to find Nate hovering in my doorway, leaning against the frame as he silently watches me. “Are you ok?” he murmurs into the dark room.

  I nod my head against the pillow. “Yeah,” I whisper.

  “Did you eat it?”

  I nod my head again. “I did.”

  Instant relief comes over him as he continues to hover in the doorway. I see indecision in his eyes but I don’t know why it’s there, until a moment later when he steps into my room and closes the door behind him before flicking the lock.

  I watch him as he walks down around my bed, pulls off his shirt, and climbs in the bed beside me. He reaches out and wraps his arm around my waist before pulling me back against him. “What are you doing?” I question, feeling a little unsure.

  “Just… sleeping,” he says.

  I take in the feel of his arm around my body and realize that I wouldn’t have it any other way. “Ok.”

  I can’t help but like it. The way his strong arm perfectly fits around me. The way his body presses up against mine. The way his fingers trace little circles over my shoulder before trailing them down my arm and lacing them through my own.

  It’s intoxicating and it makes me feel… beautiful. Wanted.

  I don’t know where the hell I find the balls, but I find myself turning in his arms so I can look up into those dark eyes. My shirt moves up my body with the movement and his hand finds the bare skin of my waist. He rubs his thumb back and forward, sending shivers all over my skin. It’s electrifying and has me tilting my chin up to meet his lips.

  Nate kisses me again and it’s just as good as it was on the couch, in fact, in the darkness with the door locked, knowing the chances of getting interrupted are slim, it’s even better.

  He rolls us so he hovers above me and my legs open and wrap around his waist, pulling him in tighter. I feel his arousal pressing into me and realize that I’m all in. I don’t know what’s happening between me and him, but this is too good to stop.

  Maybe I mean something to him or maybe I don’t. Maybe this has all just been some sick twisted ploy to get me in bed. Maybe he’s about to pull away and humiliate me. Maybe I’ll be just another notch on his belt. But then maybe, he means what he told me in the hallway. Maybe he truly believes I’m so beautiful it hurts.

  Just that slight inkling of hope, keeps me going. It’s too good to be worrying about the chances of this being a game. If it is, I’ll deal with that later, but on the slight chance that this is something real, I need to see where it goes.

  Nate’s hand squeezes onto my waist before he slides it up my body, leaving a burning trail that has me desperate for more. Who would have known that just a touch by Nate Ryder could make me feel so intoxicated?

  He takes the hem of my shirt in between his capable fingers and slides it up my body. It’s dark in here, but there’s light streaming in through the bedroom window, so I know without a doubt that he can still see my body.

  Usually, I’d be nervous or feeling insecure, but not here. Not with him. The way his eyes flame with desire is enough to make me feel like the only woman in the world, especially as my shirt raises all the way over my head and he looks down at my body.

  His hand slides up my waist and skims over my chest. I had expected him to dive in and grab them like most teenage guys would, but he doesn’t. He treats me like a masterpiece worth admiring and that makes it so much better.

  He continues to kiss me while my hands roam over his muscled body. I slide my hands down his back and before I know it, my fingers are slipping into the waistband of his pants. I push at them, wanting to feel more when he pulls back and looks down at me. “Are you sure?” he questions. “Once I start, I’m not going to be able to stop. Not with you.”

  I think about it for all of two seconds and I know without a doubt what my answer is going to be. Not going any further would be a crime. I pull him back down to me and his lips hover just above mine. “I’m sure,” I tell him.

  With that, he presses his lips back to mine and allows me to slide his pants down his hips before he does the same with mine. I feel him on me, and I mean all of him. I was wrong the other day. There’s so much more than four inches.

  His hand comes down my body and he expertly pushes into me with his fingers as mine wrap around him. He works me and my body screams out for more. He reads me like a map and gives me exactly what I need.

  Nate pushes up off me and reaches down to his discarded pants to pull a condom out of his pocket, while also giving me the best possible view of his body. It’s no wonder girls everywhere are drooling and dying to experience this with him.

  He keeps one hand on me as he tears the condom open with his teeth before sliding it on. I swallow as I watch the show. This is it. The moment I’ve been waiting for. The moment I finally give up my V-card. And to be honest, I’m happy it’s happening like this. It isn’t rushed, it isn’t with some drunk asshole. It’s with someone who knows what he’s doing and is treating me right.

  Nate comes back down to me and he lines himself up. His eyes meet mine and a million messages pass between us. I know I should probably tell him that I’ve never done this before, but I can’t. The words simply just don’t want to come out.

  Nate makes his move and pushes up into me. I suck in a breath with the sudden sharp pain but thankfully, he’s going slow. His lips press down to mine and I allow my body to relax as it gets used to the foreign intrusion.

  And then he starts to move and makes me feel things I’d never in a million years dream possible. He touches me in ways that my body has never experienced before and has me digging my nails into his back, desperate for more until he pushes me right over the edge, making my world explode with an unbelievable amount of pleasure.

  At the end, he falls into the bed beside me and kisses me again.

  I never knew it would be like that. I mean, sure, Brooke talks about how incredible it is all the time, but sometimes I get the feeling she’s just saying that and exaggerating because you’re supposed to think it’s this incredible, earth-shattering experience. I had thought she was always talking it up just because she wanted me to jump in the sack with someone and experience it firsthand.

  But now that I have, I see how wrong I was because what just happened here, the way he made my body come alive, the way I responded to his touch and he set me on fire, that was a feeling I’d never forget. It was incredible and has me desperate to do it over and over again.

  Nate pulls me in hard to his body and his hand runs up and down my side. The continuous motion has my eyes closing, and with a smile on my face and a sore body, he sends me into a blissful, needed sleep.

  Chapter 15

  I wake in the morning and stretch my arms out as hundreds of memories come crashing through my mind. A wide smile spreads over my face and I r
oll over to find him, more than ready to do it all over again.

  My whole world comes crashing down. He’s not here. I reach my hand out over his side of the bed to find it cold and realize that he left a long time ago. Probably the second I fell asleep.

  All sorts of emotions crash through me. Hurt. Betrayal. Disgust.

  What have I done? I gave it up to the one guy who wasn’t going to stick around. How could I have been so stupid? I was lost in the moment and thought it actually meant something, after all, he called me beautiful and now, I feel anything but. I feel used. Dirty.

  My eyes well with tears and I push myself up out of bed, desperate to shower and get the feel of him off my skin.

  I stand under the scalding water until the tears have run their course. I was a fool to think Nate Ryder actually had a heart. Joke’s on me. He got exactly what he wanted. Hell, I’m sure I could probably go and move back home now, I’ll probably even be left alone.

  And to think I was actually starting to like it here.

  Once the initial shock wears off and my skin starts to become pruney from the water, I step out of the shower and pull a towel tight around me. I look into the mirror and don’t miss the little love bites along my neck. More evidence of him on my skin. Never again will he get the best of me like that.

  I don’t think I’ve ever sunk so low. I wanted my first time to mean something and I thought it did, but now, it’s just another bad memory involving him.

  With a fierce determination to never allow Nate Ryder to dictate my life again, I step out into the bedroom and walk over to the door, I flick the lock, refusing to let either of those brothers come tearing in here, trying to boss me around like they so happily do.

  I get myself dressed and ready for the day. I grab the bed sheets and rip them off the bed before throwing them in a pile in the corner of the room.

  How could I have gone from feeling so impossibly alive last night to feeling absolutely nothing this morning?

  With a sigh, I pack all my clothes back in my bag and check the time. It’s still early so I can slip out of here without anybody knowing. With my bags in my hands, I make my way downstairs and without a backward glance, I slip out the front door. I unlock my car and throw my bags on the passenger side before starting the engine and peeling out of the Ryder driveway.