The Arts of Seduction

by Seema Anand

  However, there is a world of difference between Chinese fetish and the Kama Sutra’s refined and delicate romance with the feet. Like the Chinese ‘golden lotus flower’ the Sanskrit term for the foot is also ‘charan kamal’ or ‘lotus feet’, but that is as far as the similarities go. The Chinese foot fixation was coloured by the language of dominance and control—‘binding’, ‘tying’, ‘immobilizing’, etc. whereas for the ancient Indians, the highly trained foot was exciting for its mobility, not its captivity.

  Indian dance costumes were especially made to show the feet—the ankles elongated with ghungroos, the arches highlighted with alta to beautify the feet. And then to watch them move—quick as lightning or slow as dripping honey, each movement calculated to set the senses on fire.

  In poetic metaphor the mention of the lover worshiping at the beloved’s ‘charan kamal’ meant that he had placed her lotus feet to his head, i.e. made love. If the lover wanted to discreetly acknowledge his beloved in public, he would pick up a lotus flower and touch it to his head.

  There is a footnote to the public (but secret) kiss I mentioned earlier, wherein if you had the urge to kiss the beloved, you would walk up to her and pretend to fall—suddenly drop at her feet and place a quick, discreet kiss on her foot. If help did not arrive immediately the Kama Sutra says you would take the opportunity to briefly suck on her toe.

  One of the major erotic nerve endings (see chapter Erotic Nerves) is located in the big toe of the left foot and can be stimulated at different points of the foot—in the toe, under the arch, at the pad of the foot, on top of the foot, at the ankle, etc.

  In the cycle of shifting erogenous zones the foot falls on the very first day, the new moon, so it was important to get it right. It was the first portal for the erotic energies to start flowing. If this was not done right the rest of the cycle would have blockages.

  The foot could be stimulated by rubbing, pressing, striking or pinching. The woman whose vulva is cool and smooth on the inside and outside, like the petals of a lotus flower, should have her feet rubbed to stimulate her. The woman whose vulva is round and soft and quick to become wet on the inside and not too hairy on the outside—her foot should be pressed. She who is long, deep set and very hairy should have her foot struck with the open palm. The woman whose vulva is very wide inside and covered with soft down on the outside needs to have her foot pinched to be fully aroused.

  Since every woman’s erotic threshold is different, the pressure applied to the feet for arousal also varied. The woman whose joints are not prominent needs just a gentle touch, the woman whose joints are very prominent needs to have her feet excited with love bites, the woman whose upper joints are prominent but the lower ones are not—her feet need to be stimulated with love scratches and the woman who has prominent lower joints only, her feet need the hardest pressure of all.

  Arousal, especially in a woman, did not flare up all at once, it came gradually, in stages. When playing with the foot, it was suggested to start with the ankle, move to the top of the foot, then the arch under the foot, then the pad of the foot, before ending with the big toe.

  Ideally, one should be lying down or leaning against something when working on the foot. If you wish to accompany it with sex then the Kama Sutra recommends specific positions. You can be in the traditional position—the woman down with her ankles on the man’s shoulders as he kneels in front of her. As you make love you can take the beloved’s foot in your mouth. The other option is the ‘Crow’ position (also known as the 69). The woman should take her place on top, but instead of lying full length, she should tuck her knees under her, near the man’s chest, so that it is her feet that reach his face.

  My Advice

  There is an entire genre of ancient erotic literature (in Sanskrit, Tamil and other Indian languages) based on the metaphor of the lover placing his head under the feet of the beloved.

  The foot is very sexy. Every culture across the world has had some kind of erotica attached to the foot. And it is versatile. You can use it to flirt, you can use it to seduce, you can even use it to have sex.

  It is said that a woman who has never experienced a ‘foot job’ does not know true orgasm.

  Ancient erotic texts said it was because the foot was just so full of nerve endings that it couldn’t help but be excitable. Modern science says it is because in the brain the ‘foot nerves’ sit right next to the ‘erotic impulse nerves’ and that the erotic stimulation spills over. The ancient love texts recommend more ornamentation for the foot than any other part of the body.

  The underside of the foot can be painted with alta, or even henna, to highlight the arches and make the colour of the skin appear more striking. Anklets and toe rings attached to each other with delicate chains elongate the foot and make it look slimmer. Nails should be well shaped and painted. The foot can be perfumed with a floral or citrus scent.

  Keep your feet mobile—mobility is provocative. When you want to flirt, kick off your sandals, display the arch and flex your foot, let it be theatre.

  Play footsie. And do a lot more.

  The Art of Thrusting

  Whenever we think of adding an element of surprise or excitement to our sex lives, when we think we want to introduce something new to break the monotony, we automatically either turn to new positions or new geography—let’s try the sofa, let’s do it on the kitchen table, and so on. And as for the positions—they can range from the ridiculous to the impossible, to the downright dangerous. Most of us can’t even begin to understand what goes into them, let alone perform them.

  But consider this—what is the main ingredient of any sexual position? It is the thrust. Vary the thrust and you vary the experience.

  The length, the pleasure and the effectiveness of sex depends on the artistry of the thrusts.

  Regardless of geography and position, sex can only come alive with the thrust.

  The ancient love texts suggest an equal number of thrusting styles for women and men both. The different styles and pace of thrusting prescribed in the Kama Sutra are for the start of sex, so as to stimulate you to the right level of arousal. Once you are in the throes of passion and approaching orgasm there is no thought for rules and styles—your body and your instincts take over.

  There can be many different ways of thrusting—the combinations are endless. How you thrust will set the tone for your lovemaking. And if you choose to start in a different way each time, or at least often enough, it will get your partner panting in anticipation and wondering each time what you will do next.

  As we’ve seen, the erotic nerves and erogenous zones inside the vulva are located on different sides and at different depths and connect to various points in the body, which gives each spot its own sensations. So if you want an entirely new feeling, something other than what you normally feel, it’s time to approach these zones and spots differently.

  Make sure your partner is extremely well lubricated. This will not only ensure that your partner feels no discomfort but will also reduce friction and help delay the orgasm.

  The first thing to do is figure out how you generally enter your partner—the depth and the speed. If you are going to vary things you need to understand how you normally do it.

  Men’s thrusts

  Thrust without entering. I want to start with this one because in terms of effectiveness on a scale of 1 to 10 this is a 20! Stay at the opening of the yoni and pulse back and forth without entering. There is a real romance to this thrust because, unlike regular sex, this doesn’t need a change of position so you can stay face to face as well as maintain the cuddle.

  Tip: Don’t rush it—give it at least ten minutes. Use one hand to stay in place if necessary.

  Enter but only just. This one takes some practice because the idea is to enter up to the first erogenous point which is immediately inside the lips of the yoni—no further and no less. Then move back and forth knocking against that point. This spot generally gets ignored during sex because of its locati
on and because it has such little stimulation it is extremely sensitive and can provide incredible pleasure.

  Tip: Lie on your side facing each other, be comfortable because, at least initially, you will need to use your hands to manoeuvre yourself.

  The ‘no touch’ thrust. Time to multitask. Using your fingers, very slowly open and close the lips of the yoni while thrusting against the side of your partner’s thigh. The opening of the lips allows air to enter which is always a little bit colder than the inside of the yoni and this meeting of temperatures causes an unusual sensation that makes the yoni muscles pulsate. Most women will tell you that this is one of the most exciting sensations they have ever felt. This is best done with the upper part of the body almost upright—on the sofa or propped up against a lot of pillows. Her body should be facing forward, you should be to her left (so that you can use the left hand) and slightly on your side.

  Tip: Do this for a minimum of ten minutes. It takes time to build up.

  Creating a vacuum. Extremely slowly, enter all the way in, as deep as you can go so that you fill her completely and there is nothing there but you—not even air. Then pull back to the edge, but not out. From here on just do short, shallow thrusts at the entrance. The vacuum will make her want to pull you back inside.

  Tip: Don’t break contact.

  Pulsing. Enter all the way in, as deep as you can go. Press your body into your partner’s and go in all the way to the end. Then just stay there and pulse. This is one of the most difficult thrusts for a man to practise because with this position it takes a great deal to hold back the ejaculation—this kind of thrust is calculated to make a man lose control. But on the other hand it is also one of the most exciting for women. The entire yoni is filled, which causes her tremendous excitement. The base (the glans) of the phallus rubs against the clitoris while the front nudges the erogenous spots that are deep inside.

  Women’s thrusts

  As a woman you too can be a decision maker on the thrusts—albeit in a different way. The simplest way to take control is to decide how to position yourself. You can use a variety of cushion shapes—round, square, rectangular, crescent shaped—which when placed under different parts of your body will change the angle of your yoni and how your partner accesses it. Even the slightest tilt can make a difference to the sensations.

  You can also change the angle and depth of penetration by placing your legs on different parts of your partner’s body. Lie flat and place your feet on his shoulders, lift your bottom and link your ankles around his back, bend your knees and place your feet on his hips. This will define the thrust according to your desire.

  If you place your calves on his shoulders you will get the deepest penetration.

  If you want to keep the thrusts shallow, ball up your fists and place them on either side of your groin—this will limit penetration. Keep it going with the hands in place for some time and then, when he is least expecting it, remove your fists and let him plunge all the way in.

  Keep it exciting for yourself. Change from one to the other as you want. Arch or flatten your back in the middle of things, move your feet from one position to the other. Everything changes the nature of the thrust.

  Vatsyayan explains in his introduction to the Kama Sutra that all the techniques and instructions that he offers in the book are either to help people build up their passion or for people of low sexual drive who will never really get to the point of heightened passion and need instruction on what to do to satisfy their partners.

  However, it’s important to understand that using different types of thrusts will take a lot of work to perfect.

  It needs strength and rhythm—you need a strong back and lots of energy to maintain the thrusts for any length of time as well as to be able to hold yourself back from orgasming too soon. Thrusts should be like the notes of a musical compositions—smooth and varied, like the brilliance of an orchestra. Jerky and uncoordinated thrusting is painfully unfulfilling and unsexy.

  My Advice

  Angles—a very simple and effective way to change the thrusts is to change the angle of penetration. Thrust from side to side instead of back and forth. Enter only halfway and aim to hit the middle of the yoni with each thrust rather than the end. This is where two of the major erotic nerves, the Sati and the Asati, are situated; these connect to the waist and the navel—the ones that will give you ‘butterflies in your stomach’. Try it either fast or slow. Each one has its own advantages. Use different shapes of cushions under yourself or your partner. The Kama Sutra says one must have eight different shapes of cushions in the bedroom. Different shapes change the angle of penetration in a subtle way and make an impact. Putting them under different parts of the body—or equally removing them (like the pillow from under your head)—can change the thrust and the sensations.

  Music—one of the most fabulous ways to thrust. Pick a piece of music and move to it. This saves you having to make decisions, to try and work out when to go deep or shallow, fast or slow. I always recommend classical music rather than popular music because the range is so much wider.

  Speed—alternating fast and slow thrusts are another easy and effective way to add variety. It’s not about a great and complicated array of techniques—just a little change can make all the difference.

  Pillow Talk

  In the village of Sangam lived a hot-tempered soldier called Raja and his very beautiful but immoral wife, Rukmini. One day, when they were out at a festival, Raja noticed his wife making eyes at a very handsome stranger—they were exchanging notes in the secret lover’s code. The soldier was so angry he dragged Rukmini back to the house where he beat her soundly and then locked her up indoors and told her that from that day on she could not set foot outside without him beside her. Rukmini was so furious with him that she decided she would pay him back by having sex with her lover right under his nose. She sent her lover a message which said ‘outside my house is a big banyan tree. Tonight, dig a trench, the size of your body, in the ground under the tree and then lie down in it with your manhood erect.’ At the appointed hour, she ran outside and, squatting on top of her hidden lover, she called out to her husband. ‘You are so good with the bow and arrow, why don’t you shoot me down a moonbeam.’ The solider was eager to please his wife back into good humour, so he shot one useless arrow after the other at the moon while she laughed delightedly each time and continued till she had had her pleasure....*

  The Kama Sutra says that you must tell your lover stories, before and after sex, to create the mood. It was the man’s role to tell these stories, to seduce and pleasure the beloved. Before sex the stories should be naughty, gossipy and suggestive to arouse and excite and get the juices flowing. They could be reminiscences—‘remember when we went to such-and-such place I did this to you’, etc. to make them blush or feel aroused with the memory of the event. They could be gossipy stories that would make the woman giggle and join in. If she was very shy and very nervous, the man would tell stories of how beautiful women are very wicked and how the poor men don’t stand a chance—these were calculated to make her gasp in indignation and deny these accusations. The idea was to get a reaction. You picked the stories according to the character of the person you were with. It was a great technique—the man was talking to her the whole time so his attention was entirely on her, and the purpose was to entertain her and make her forget her inhibitions, so that by the time he was ready to start kissing her in earnest, she was in the right frame of mind.

  The king’s minister had a beautiful but adulterous wife called Kalavati. One day as she was giving her husband a bath she saw her lover walk past on the street outside, at the prearranged time, on his way to their favourite rendezvous. Kalavati said, ‘Oh, oh, the wind is blowing my scarf down the road’ and ran off to meet her lover. She spent a long time with him—what was the point if you weren’t going to satisfy yourself fully—but now she had to explain to her husband what had taken her away for so long in the middle of his bath. So she climbed
down the well and began to yell for help. Everyone thought the poor woman had fallen in and when she was rescued, the husband took her back home full of solicitous concern for her wellbeing.

  On the other hand, after-sex stories had to be sweet and romantic, of happy endings and successful romances, to make your lover feel secure, happy and cherished. What you say and how you say it will determine the mood of your lover and the quality of the sexual experience.

  After the exertions of the picnic when she (the most beloved) fell asleep on his shoulder the king had his servants cut off the sleeve of his beautifully brocaded jacket so that he wouldn’t disturb her rest.

  And with all the weird and wonderful positions that the Kama Sutra is most renowned for, all the strange traditions of love scratches and the detailed explanations of oral sex, this is the most revolutionary tool of seduction in the Kama Sutra— communication. The conversation, the teasing, the give and take of ideas, the hide and seek of all of your fantasies—the stories that you tell each other. Utterly obvious to the masters 2,000 years ago and yet what most of us in the twenty-first century still haven’t understood is just how important communicating is to your sexual success.

  The level of excitement with which your lover approaches having sex with you depends on the banter, the chat, the flirtation, the mental stimulation, the frisson of the verbal battle that has gone on just before—that’s what really gets the juices flowing. And the eagerness with which they return to your bed again—that too depends on how it was for them the last time.

  When I say ‘before and after’, I mean the absolute beginning (at the start of foreplay) and the absolute end (after the orgasm).

  Sex itself is generally more blurred, what we remember vividly however is the build-up—the arousal, the mounting excitement and even more, the calm down—was it the gradual ‘sigh-worthy’ simmering down of a delightful experience or was it the sudden thump of an anti-climax (which is the fate of most excitement).