Without Her
Page 24
He touches my shoulder, squeezes just slightly, and lets me go. We drag the bags behind us, call the elevator, wait for it side by side. We are once again a couple that is not a couple, leaving a hotel room, and we smile together through our tears, at the irony that I know has struck us both.
Epilogue
At the end of the film L’Avventura, Sandro and Claudia sit alone together on a bench looking out over the city. We see them from behind. We can’t see their faces. But just before the film ends and the white letters come up, we see her lift a hand and touch his head, in a gentle stroking motion that has some regret in it, as if to reassure him, or herself, or perhaps even someone out of sight, that she cares for him. It’s almost like an animal licking another animal, because that is what they do. A gesture of tenderness; of reparation. What humans do, Antonioni shows us, is care for each other with this slight yet instinctive animal warmth. A lick, a touch, a caress. When all is said and done, whatever has gone before, whatever is remembered, forgotten, forgiven. Then the letters come up and that is the end.
Acknowledgments
I would like to thank all who supported the writing and publication of this novel, especially my agent, Kimberley Cameron; Lori Milken of Delphinium Books; and my editor there, Joseph Olshan. Thank you all for your enthusiastic commitment to this book, and Joe, for sterling editing advice.
To Ellen McLaughlin and Andrew Greig, who first read the book in its infancy, many thanks for your thoughtful suggestions. To Marie-Claire Blais, thanks again for your early reading and constant encouragement.
Thanks for encouragement, writing lunches, your stories, and general support to Simone, Jessica, and Brooks in Key West, and to George in Prague.
Claudia’s film career in California owes much to both Linda Dittmar and Barbara Hammer, and to The Conversations—Walter Murch and the Art of Editing Film, by Michael Ondaatje (Knopf 2002). I am also grateful to Alicia Malone for her timely book The Female Gaze (Mango, 2018).
Appreciative thanks to all the film-makers mentioned in this book, especially to Agnès Varda for L’Une Chante, l’Autre Pas.
To my husband, Allen Meece, thanks again for being there throughout.
All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this book or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2019 by Rosalind Brackenbury
Cover design by Greg Mortimer
978-1-5040-5907-7
Published in 2019 by Delphinium Books, Inc.
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