Exit Plans for Teenage Freaks

by Nathan Burgoine

  She backed out of the driveway. I started counting in my head. I didn’t even make it to ten.

  “He’s cute,” she said.

  “Mom.”

  “I’m just saying.”

  “Please don’t,” I begged. “It’s weird.”

  “It’s not weird. And he seems to have a good head on his shoulders.”

  “He’s a friend.”

  “Okay,” she said, in an infuriating mom-tone that left no doubt in my mind she didn’t believe me for a second. When I didn’t say anything else, she reached forward and tapped a button. Jann Arden started singing.

  Well, at least she’d waited until Malik was out of the car.

  To-Do

  X Bearded rando. Sub? Talk to principal?

  Rework speech for Rainbow Club

  X Meeples with Sportsball

  Clean out locker

  Cole the Teenage Freak

  X Concentrate at doors. All the doors. Every time. You got this!

  Locked doors. One way?

  X Blood sugar? Hungry? Definitely hungry.

  CARRY YOUR PHONE.

  Doors. Again. You don’t got this. EVEN THE SHOWER.

  No door required for exit?

  Pull getting stronger. Bad? Good?

  Popping thing. Like fireworks.

  Places I’ve never been!

  Beardy McBeardface can tell?

  Stop practicing. Just stop doing it at all.

  Eighteen

  The last day of school was blurring by. My teachers seemed as ready for it to be over as we were, and although they paid lip service to exam prep and review, suddenly it was lunch.

  I was the last one to the table because of the usual lineup at the cafeteria, thankfully, and not because of any accidental jumps home via the swinging doors. Alec bumped shoulders with me when he caught me sort of staring at everyone.

  “Don’t get all weird,” he said.

  “Way too late,” Grayson said.

  “Years,” Lindsey agreed.

  I gasped at her, hand over my heart. “Et tu, Lindsé?”

  She just grinned.

  We ate and laughed and talked, and though maybe I glanced around the cafeteria a few times to see if I could find a certain sportsball guy, I was pretty much the happiest I’d ever been at this school. It figured it would take me to the last possible day to get it right.

  I opened my journal and did a super-fast sketch of the group of us, almost cartoonish. It wasn’t my usual style, but it was fun. By the time I was done, Nat was leaning over and watching me work.

  “You’re really good at that.”

  “Only when I have something to look at,” I said. I glanced at them. They had the coolest bow tie on today. The bow was made of wood, and the cloth that tied it in place was a super-bright fuchsia. “Have I ever told you I love your bow ties?”

  They smiled. “No.”

  “Well, I do.”

  Their pale skin pinked, right to the tips of their ears.

  “Nat is right. You should do a cartoon,” Rhonda said.

  I looked up. “A cartoon?”

  “Yeah, like, all of us,” Grayson said. “You could make us into superheroes or something. The Gayvengers.”

  “Never listen to him,” Lindsey said. “But she’s right. You could do a cartoon.”

  “Like Sophie Labelle,” Nat said.

  “I’m not that good, guys.” But the thing was, I kind of liked the idea.

  “Oh come on,” Grayson said. “The thought of something you need to practice makes your heart go pitter-pat.” He leaned across the table. “I should be the hero, though. I mean, look at my hair.” He tapped my drawing. “That hair says ‘hero.’”

  “Is that what it’s saying?” Alec said. “Huh. That’s totally not what I thought it was saying.”

  Grayson shoved him, and Alec shoved him back. They were totally cool with each other. I glanced at Nat, and they gave me one of their little smiles. They’d caught it, too.

  “Maybe,” I said. But I could tell they’d all seen right through me. I was totally going to try. I could start a new Tumblr, maybe. I could do little scenes from our Rainbow Club, maybe. In a way, I could hold on to them a little longer.

  When lunch ended, I walked with Alec to his locker.

  “So,” I said. “You and Grayson made up? He apologized?”

  “Yeah.”

  I blinked. “‘Yeah’? That’s it? That’s all I get? After suffering through a year of drama, of both of you melting down at the mention of each other’s name, you’re giving me ‘yeah.’” I mimicked his grunty voice.

  Alec closed his locker, spread his arms, and said, “Yeah.”

  “Jerk.” Then I sighed. “I’m glad. I hated that you left the group. I shouldn’t have let you. I shouldn’t have let him make you feel like you weren’t a part of it.”

  Alec looked at me for a couple of seconds before he smiled. “I know you have my back.”

  Oh man. I would not cry at school. Nope. Wuss, I fingerspelled.

  “But I’ll make you a deal,” Alec said. “I’ll tell you all about how Grayson groveled, if…” He drew out the word.

  “If?” I said.

  “If you tell me who you’ve been looking for all week, all the time.” He crossed his arms. “Like I can’t guess.”

  I shook my head. There was no way I was going to—

  “Hey, Cole,” Malik said. He was passing by with Tyler.

  “Hey,” I said. It came out all strained, and I had to clear my throat after. They were gone a moment later.

  When I turned to look at Alec again, his mouth was doing the stupid wiggle thing it did when he was trying not to laugh.

  “Not a word,” I said.

  Alec just patted my shoulder and went off to his class.

  * * *

  “I’m home,” I called out.

  When I came in through the front door—concentrating on staying put, which was totally a habit now and I had this not teleporting thing down, thankyouverymuch—I dumped my bag, phone, and jacket and started working on my shoes.

  My mom came through the kitchen. “Whoa,” I said. “Check you out.” She was wearing a light blue dress and the gold necklace my dad had gotten her for their fifteenth anniversary. I gave her a thumbs-up once I got my shoes off. “You look great.”

  “Thank you,” she said. She’d even put her hair up.

  “I’m guessing it’s a fancier Date Night tonight?”

  “We’re going to the Inn to have an early dinner with the Websters, and then we’ve got the theatre.”

  My father stepped into the kitchen. He had on his black jacket, a black shirt, and a tie I was pretty sure was the same blue as my mother’s dress. They were like that. It was cringeworthy embarrassing, but they liked to match for Date Night activities.

  He hugged her from behind and kissed the small of her neck.

  “You are both doing serious emotional damage to your offspring,” I said and signed.

  He let go of her. Parental obligation, he signed. Pizza money. He pointed to the kitchen counter.

  I forgive, I signed.

  They both laughed.

  How your last day go?

  “Honestly?” I said and signed. “It was amazing. My friends are great. I’m great.” The weird freaks who were following me are gone. “I don’t know what it is, but…” I shrugged. “I’ll take it.”

  My dad patted my back as they passed me, and my mom gave me a kiss on the cheek, and then they were heading out the front door. I followed them, waiting until they got into the car and pulled out of the driveway before I waved.

  My folks would be out late. I had pizza money. Candice seemed to think Malik King had maybe been checking me out, and Alec seemed to agree. Alec and Grayson had made up. And the biggest plus on the list? There’d been no sign of Beardy McBeardface in a couple of days, and even though I could feel the door behind me pulling at me, I hadn’t teleported anywhere in a couple of days.

&nbs
p; All things told? I was having the best day of my life.

  So, y’know, of course that’s when someone grabbed me from behind and yanked me through my front door.

  Poof.

  Nineteen

  The tug-snap felt different. It jarred and yanked and shoved rather than the flow I was used to. I had just enough time to notice the sensation of teleporting against my will was meaner somehow before my instincts kicked in.

  The single most important thing you learn in self-defense classes is not about hurting anyone. It’s not about fighting anyone, either. It’s about avoiding getting hurt in the first place. Ideally? You never touch anyone. You learn how to scope out trouble, you avoid the trouble, and you keep those around you from getting hurt, too. That’s always goal one.

  But, having been grabbed from behind, I was skipping past that and aiming for the next best thing: getting away.

  Whoever it was had one hand over my mouth, the other grabbing my arm. I could either work against their sense of balance, though I didn’t have a clear picture of how they were standing—or cause them pain and run like hell.

  I opted for number two without thinking about it too hard. I’m not sure what that might have said about me as a person, but y’know, I was in the moment.

  I elbowed back hard with my free arm, stomped on their foot, and bit their hand. Maybe not in that order. It was kind of quick and messy, and I was running on instincts I’d learned in the self-defense class by practicing over and over again.

  The noises of pain my attacker made were really, really satisfying. They let go. I dove ahead to get out of the attacker’s grasp, but a quick glance around told me ahead wasn’t going to cut it. I was in a room. My brain didn’t land on any particulars at all except it was a fairly small room without a door I could see. I whirled on my feet just in time to see my attacker stepping back through one and closing it. He was a redhead, and he was wheezing, and I had one tiny moment of triumph before I realized he was closing the only damn door behind him.

  “No!” I dove for it, but I heard the click before I got to the door. Also, my side didn’t have a handle.

  Well, shit.

  I tried to get a grip on it anyway, but all I could do was make it wiggle a tiny bit. Definitely locked.

  Fuck. I pressed my hand against the surface.

  Fuck fuck fuck.

  * * *

  When he didn’t come back right away, I took a second to take stock. I didn’t have my phone, so calling for help with a handy GPS device wasn’t going to work. I eyed the door, wondering if I could maybe get through it and teleport faster than they could stop me when they opened it to come back in. It was a possibility. I had no idea if it was a good possibility.

  Other than that? This place was obviously a small room repurposed as a jail cell. The thought was not calming in the slightest. A small cot with a single sheet was against one wall, but when I tried to lift it, it wouldn’t budge off the floor. I checked. It was bolted into the tiles.

  Well, that wasn’t disturbing at all.

  There was a small sink, no plug or chain, and beside that, a toilet. A recessed light was in the ceiling, but I didn’t see a switch. Probably outside the door.

  I started to finger-spell. Door. Cot. Toilet.

  It didn’t calm me down.

  A little window provided a small amount of light. Maybe I could—

  I heard a sound at the door, and I tensed. I wasn’t sure my idea of rushing the door was a good one, but I didn’t really have another option. I braced myself.

  When the door opened though, three men were standing there, and it was clear I wouldn’t be running anywhere. They were bigger than me, and the door opened into the room. They took up all the space the room had to offer.

  I backed up, despite myself.

  I recognized Beardy McBeardface from school. Substitute teacher, my ass. He was standing in the middle of the three men, looking like he was more or less in charge of whatever this was. To his right was a guy who looked somewhat familiar. He was an older guy, kind of stiff looking. He had a suit and tie, and for some reason I thought they weren’t the right colors. It clicked. The guy from Meeples, who’d come in after I’d teleported there after Malik had first come to the Rainbow Club. The one that had stared at me and Alec.

  Holy crap. Had these guys been following me for the last two weeks?

  To Beardy’s left was a shorter man, not as old as Beardy. He had red hair and freckles, and was glaring at me. I wondered if this was my attacker. I hadn’t really gotten a good look at him before, what with the elbows and biting and the slammed door, but then he closed his right hand around a bandage. Yep. I’d totally bitten Freckle-Face.

  “What do you want?” I’d intended a strong voice, showing no fear, but it maybe came out a bit whiny, and I had to clear my throat.

  “I’m genuinely sorry this is how we had to meet,” Beardy said. He had a nice, calm voice. He spoke like we were chatting in a café or something. His smile seemed totally genuine behind the beard, and a small, basic part of me wondered if I should just maybe listen to what he had to say. Then I remembered I’d been kidnapped and spied on.

  “Let me go,” I said. That came out stronger.

  Beardy held up his hands as if to tell me not to bite him, and then he took one more step into the room.

  I retreated the same amount. One more step, and I’d be back against the wall by the cot.

  “I’m not going to hurt you, Cole,” he said.

  “How do you know my name?”

  He exhaled. “I need to know if you told anyone.”

  I blinked. Told them what? Then I blinked again. Oh. Of course. These guys had grabbed me and teleported me here, so obviously they were all teleporty types, which meant Beardy McBeardface was asking me if I’d told anyone I could teleport.

  I hesitated. Was any answer right? If I told him yes, was that like being in a movie and saying if I wasn’t at home by the right time, some sort of document would be leaked to the press? Or was a “yes” just adding a new name to the list of people to kidnap?

  “Good,” Beardy said, like I’d already answered.

  Damn. I really sucked at this stuff.

  I swallowed. “What are you going to do to me? People will care if I just disappear.” This was totally true. I mean, it didn’t help me if they killed me and dumped me in a hole somewhere, but people would definitely care about it. Hell, this is one time Colenap would work in my favor. I’d already been kidnapped once. If I vanished again? That’d be major news.

  “We’re not going to hurt you,” Beardy said again. Even with the smile and the raised hands, I totally didn’t believe him. My dad had taught me people said as much with their eyes as they did with their mouths and their hands. The hands said, “Hey, I’m no threat.” The mouth said, “Totally on your side.” The eyes?

  The eyes were saying, “I need to get this over with.”

  “You’re too young,” he said, as if I’d asked him a question. I suppose I had, but I wasn’t sure what my age had to do with anything.

  “Come again?”

  “It takes an adult with a level head to have what we have and be responsible,” Beardy said. “And most of us don’t gain the aptitude until we’re in our twenties. I’ve no doubt you’ll be an excellent addition to our institution, Cole, but…not yet.”

  Aptitude? Institution?

  “How many of you are there?”

  “There’s no point in going over the details right now, Cole. We need to relock your gift again.”

  “Again?”

  He twitched and then shook his head. “It’ll be easier if you don’t resist. We can do more than open doorways, Cole. We can close things, too.”

  Okay, whatever that meant? It sounded totally like something I should resist.

  “You?” I said. “Are creepy as fuck. Let me out of here, right now, or I will scream as loud as I can.”

  “No one to hear you,” Freckle-Face said, and he sounded really h
appy about that. I decided that if I ever had the chance, I was going to bite him again.

  Beardy aimed a quick frown at Freckle-Face, who didn’t seem to care much. Mr. Stiff just looked bored.

  “I am sorry,” Beardy said. “But the good news is you won’t remember any of this.”

  “Wha—?” I started to say, and then something awful wrapped itself around my head and set it on fire.

  * * *

  Beardy McBeardface was trying to melt my brain.

  Okay, that might not be actually what he was trying to do, but it sure felt like it. This kind of pressure suddenly appeared, but it was all in my head, like the world’s worst headache decided to hook up with all the worst memories I’d ever had and then went dancing through my brain swinging flamethrowers.

  I was at the museum, just like when this whole insane teleporting thing had started, but the whole place was on fire.

  Then I was trapped in my locker, but my lungs were filling with smoke.

  Now I was at Meeples, and flames licked up the sides of the bookshelves.

  My old house.

  My bedroom.

  Through the haze of pain and fear, a distant part of me knew none of this had ever happened, but it felt like Beardy was somehow making me believe it did. And it was terrifying. I never wanted to think about it ever again.

  I saw bodies and heard screams, and in every case, I was one of the people on fire, wailing in an agony of pain and trying to get out, but there was no way out…

  This didn’t happen.

  I was standing under the Lancaster Bomber, the rest of the planes in the large museum spread out around me, fire leaping up the walls and moving from exhibit to exhibit.

  And Beardy was with me. I could feel him, like he was right behind me. His presence had that same tug-and-snap feeling to it, like if I just knew where to look, I could yank and pull him here…

  I ignored the flames, telling myself over and over they didn’t exist. It wasn’t real. This was like some sort of nightmare, and nightmares weren’t real.

  Stop fighting.