by Lauren Rowe
I lean forward, my pulse pounding in my ears. “And what would that be?”
She licks her lips. “I figure it means he’s gotta have a really big dick.”
Lucy’s face turns bright red.
Oh my God, she’s ruthless. “What’s your name, sweetheart?” I ask, leaning into Kat even closer, my dick lurching in my pants.
“Kat.”
“Nice to meet you, Kat,” I say, putting out my hand. “I’m Josh.”
“Josh. Sexy name, Josh. That’s the name of a guy with a really big dick if I’ve ever heard one.” She wets her lower lip slowly like she’s licking barbeque sauce off a rack of ribs. “Please believe me, I’ve never done this before, and I know I’m on a date with Blane down there—and I know I’m probably coming off like a world-class slut—but I don’t give a crap. You’re so hot, I can’t stop myself.” She lowers her voice again. “If I leave here tonight without knowing if I’m right about what your swagger means, I’m gonna regret it for the rest of my life.”
Lucy physically jolts on her barstool like she’s been stuck with a cattle prod—and I’m right there with her, jerking like Kat just gripped my dick.
I lean into Kat’s ear, right next to poor Lucy, like we’re having a conversation about how Kat and I are gonna rob a bank, right in front of Lucy the Bank Teller. I feel vaguely guilty Lucy’s become an unwitting pawn in our little game, but it can’t be helped—having another woman as part of this conversation is turning me on too much to spare the odd-woman-out from discomfort. “Well, gosh, Kat,” I say. “What do you propose to do about your date? He seems like a nice enough guy—pretty damned good-looking, too. And a professional baseball player to boot. Maybe you ought to give him a chance.”
I crane my neck to look down the length of the bar at Jonas. He flashes me a look that can only be described as utter contempt for making him sit through this.
Kat glances down the bar at Jonas. “Oh, I’m not gonna ditch him. I’m going home with him and I’m gonna make him fall in love with me—he’s a professional ball player, after all. But that doesn’t mean I don’t wanna know if I’m right about your swagger—I won’t be able to sleep tonight if I don’t find out.” She straightens up and winks. “Bathroom in five, bartender.”
She leaves.
I look at Lucy. Her mouth is hanging open. Her eyes are wide.
If I weren’t so fucking turned on right now, I’d throw my head back and howl with laughter at the expression on Lucy’s face. Damn, Kat’s the best. Never a dull moment with that woman.
But I don’t laugh. No way. This porno is too fucking hot.
I lean across the bar toward Lucy, my dick pulsing in my pants. “Well, that was unexpected, to say the least,” I say, smirking. I reach down and shift my hard-on to the side, trying to get relief from the persistent throbbing.
“Wow,” Lucy says, obviously at a loss for words.
“Hey, hon!” a female voice calls from behind Lucy’s back.
Lucy turns her head—and as she does, I steal a quick look at Kat. She’s sitting with Jonas, chatting, flipping her hair as Tim serves them a second round of drinks. Oh my God, she’s a fucking sociopath. She really is. How is she looking so light-hearted and happy right now when I’m about ready to blow a fucking gasket, I’m so turned on?
“Josh?” Lucy says.
I hear my name, but I can’t peel my eyes off Kat. She’s a fucking force of nature, that woman. A tsunami. God help anyone who stands in the way of something she wants. She’s a fucking beast.
“Josh?” Lucy says again.
I force my eyes to look at Lucy, though it pains me to do it.
“This is my friend Christine.”
“Hi, Christine,” I say, my voice lacking its usual charm. I glance down the bar at Kat again. She’s throwing her head back, laughing. Diabolical.
“Hi,” Lucy’s friend says.
I peel my eyes off Kat and look at the new woman. She’s a short redhead with freckles and an adorable smile.
“Hi,” I say. “What can I get you? It’s on me. Whatever you want.”
Christine’s about to reply, but Lucy hijacks the conversation.
“Hang on, honey. Josh, what the fuck are you gonna... do... about her?” She crinkles her nose and tilts her head toward Kat’s end of the bar. “Are you actually gonna... meet her?” She makes a face like that’s a patently ridiculous notion. “She just said she’s gonna do two guys in one night.” She grimaces.
I look stealthily to my right and then left, and then I lean over the bar toward Lucy like I’m about to tell her a scandalous secret.
Lucy leans in and licks her lips with anticipation.
“Fuck yeah, I’m gonna meet her,” I whisper. “I’m not proud of it, Lucy, I’m really not. But I’m only a man. And I can’t resist showing that woman she’s exactly right about what my swagger means.”
Lucy’s eyes pop out of her head and roll around on the floor.
I glance down the bar at Kat again and this time, her blue eyes are trained on mine, too. She smiles wickedly and I shoot her a look of pure arousal. “I’m gonna meet that diabolical woman in the bathroom and fuck the living shit out of her with my huge dick and give her a screaming orgasm that has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with vodka.” My eyes shift to Lucy. “And then, don’t you worry, beautiful, I’ll come right back out here and make you whatever drink you desire.”
I’ve clearly rendered Lucy speechless.
“Hey, Tim,” I call to the real bartender, straightening up. “Get these two spectacularly gorgeous women whatever they want, on me. Food, drinks, whatever it may be—a bottle of your finest champagne. They can name it. I’m gonna take a short break.”
With that, I throw down the dishrag in my hand, stride to the opposite end of the bar from where Jonas and Kat are sitting, slip around the end, and waltz toward the bathroom, my throbbing hard-on leading the mighty way.
Seventy-Five
Josh
I have to wait a couple minutes outside the bathroom door for someone to come out, but once they do, I slip inside, my breathing ragged. Holy shit, I’m so turned on, I can barely breathe.
Kat was supposed to slip me a note on a napkin—that’s what she said when she described this particular mini-porno that night in Las Vegas—she wasn’t supposed to proposition me right in front of another woman. But my jealous little terrorist went for the fucking jugular, didn’t she? There’s no controlling that woman when her eyes turn a blazing shade of green.
Fuck, she turns me on.
Damn, that was hot.
Goddamn, I can’t wait to fuck her.
There’s a soft rap on the bathroom door. I open it slightly and Kat wordlessly slips inside, already breathless with obvious arousal. I’ve barely locked the door behind her when Kat’s mouth is on my lips, her tongue in my mouth, her body pressed into mine.
“Kat,” I say, wrapping my arms around her and kissing her deeply. “Oh my God, I’ve missed you.”
Our kiss is instantly blazing with passion. I feel like I’m drinking water after a long slog across Saudi Arabia wearing nothing but a Speedo. How is it possible I’d forgotten how good this woman tastes in one short week? I grind my hard-on into her. How have I lasted seven days without tasting these delicious lips? Touching this soft skin? Smelling this glorious mane of golden hair?
“Are you wet for me?” I ask, furiously unbuttoning her jeans.
“Dripping wet,” she breathes.
“That got you going, huh? Watching that brunette make the moves on me?”
“She would have left with you in a heartbeat if you’d asked her.”
I kiss Kat’s neck while sliding my fingers inside her jeans. “Yeah, she made that clear.”
My fingers find Kat’s wetness. She moans and so do I.
“You sure didn’t discourage her,” Kat says.
“All part of the role-play, baby—I’m the hot bartender all the women wanna fuck, right?” I unbutton my jeans
and pull down my briefs, freeing my cock.
“You like making me jealous,” Kat says, gripping my shaft.
I exhale sharply at her touch. “You know I do. So hot.” I maneuver her to the sink, push her belly up against it, and press myself into her back, staring over her shoulder at us in the mirror. “Making you jealous turns me on,” I say. I move her hair off her neck and kiss her hidden Scorpio tattoo.
She shudders.
“I like it when you’re a terrorist.” I yank her jeans down farther and slide my fingers into her wetness from behind. Oh yeah, she’s dripping wet. I slide my fingers up to her clit and shudder at the texture of it. It’s swollen and hard, slick against my fingertip. I swirl it around and around and she groans with excitement. I lean into her ear. “I like knowing you want me all to yourself.”
I bend my knees and slide my cock inside her slowly, ever so slowly, my gaze fixed on hers in the mirror as I enter her, and we both exhale audibly with relief and pleasure at the fucking awesome sensation.
She grips the sink with white knuckles as I begin thrusting in and out of her, my eyes locked onto hers as I do.
“You feel so good,” I whisper, fondling her breast under her blouse. “You’ve got a magic pussy, baby.”
Her nipples are rock hard. I pinch them greedily and she yelps.
“Say you want me all to yourself,” I command. I trail my hand down from her breast to her clit and she presses herself into my hand. “Tell me you were so fucking jealous you couldn’t stand it.”
She’s staring at me in the mirror with ice-blue eyes.
My hips are rocking with hers. We’ve found the perfect rhythm. It’s slow and sensual.
“I was so fucking jealous I couldn’t stand it,” she breathes, moving her hips with mine. “You’re mine.”
“Oh, I like that,” I whisper in her ear, my eyes still locked on hers in the mirror. “Say it again.” I bite her earlobe.
“Mine,” she says, gritting her teeth. She reaches her arm up and around my neck.
I suck her earlobe like it’s her clit. “You feel so good,” I say. “You always feel so fucking good.”
“You make me so wet,” she whispers. “No one’s ever made me wet like this.”
“You like the way I fuck you, babe?”
She makes a sound like she just got burned with hot coffee.
“Yeah, baby. Here we go. Give it to me. This is the money right here—what I’ve been craving all fucking week.”
She whimpers. “Fuck.”
“Yeah, baby. Come on.”
“It’s a big one.” Her eyes darken.
“Yeah, baby. Let it go.” Our bodies have picked up speed. Sweat is beading on her face. Her cheeks are flushed. My fingers are working her hard clit furiously. This is so fucking good, I’m about to blow.
“I missed you so much, babe,” I whisper in her ear, my gaze never leaving hers in the mirror. “Had to come see you early, I missed you so fucking bad.”
Her eyes flutter and roll back into her head briefly. She lets out a loud groan and I clamp my free hand over her mouth.
“Let it go, baby,” I purr into her ear, gyrating into her, fingering her like I own her. I lick her neck, nibble her ear. “Let it go for me.”
Her entire body heaves and jolts and spasms. She arches her back, a pained sound pooling in her throat. I clamp my hand over her mouth again, trying to muffle the sounds coming out of her.
“Yeah, baby,” I whisper into her ear. “Here we go.”
She bites my finger. “Fuck. Oh, Josh. Oh my God.”
She buckles, almost like she’s dry heaving, and then every bit of warm, wet flesh surrounding my cock suddenly squeezes and clenches around me, like a glorious dam breaking. It feels so good, I release into her like a tsunami, slamming myself into her as I do.
The minute I’ve got my equilibrium back, I turn her around, grab her face and kiss her deeply. “I missed you, baby,” I say. “I couldn’t wait ’til Saturday to see you.”
She kisses my lips, cheeks, neck. “I’ve been going crazy all week. It’s been torture.”
I wrap my arms around her, bury my nose in her hair, and inhale. “I wish I could bottle this smell so I could sniff it whenever I’m lonely in L.A.”
“Bumble and Bumble Crème de Coco Shampoo and Conditioner,” she says. “Seventeen ninety-nine per bottle.”
I laugh.
I pull back from our embrace and zip up. “Okay ‘slut who ditches her boring date at a bar to fuck the hot bartender in the bathroom.’ What happens next? I do believe you’re supposed to slip out of the bathroom, rejoin your boring date, and never look back, right?”
Kat shrugs. “Yeah, that’s what the script says.” She tilts her head. “But there’s no fucking way I’m letting you go back in there and serve that bitch another drink.”
I laugh. “So I take it we’re changing the script?” I say.
“Damn straight we are,” she says.
I smirk. “How ’bout this? What if the bartender goes out there and quits his job because he can’t stand the thought of you leaving here to fuck that other guy? And what if he does it right in front of the woman who was hitting on him all night?”
Her face lights up. “Oh, I like that ending to the porno a whole lot better.”
“Yeah, except now it’s not a porno—it’s a fucking rom-com.”
She smiles. “When Josh Met Kat.”
I return her smile. “So, hey, I should tell you. Jonas and I are waking up at chicken-thirty tomorrow morning to go climbing for the day. I’ll take you home, see your place—but then I’m gonna stay at Jonas’ tonight since we’re heading out before sunrise, okay?”
“That’s cool with me. I’ve got to work tomorrow, anyway.”
“When are you gonna quit your job already, you puss? I told you I’ll help you.”
She makes a face.
“What are you waiting for, PG?”
She considers for a beat and then nods decisively. “You know what? You’re right. Fuck it. I’ll quit tomorrow.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. YOLO, right?”
“Damn straight.”
“Starting my own business can’t be that hard, right? I’m smart. I can do it. If I fail, I’ll just pick myself back up.”
“Atta girl.”
There’s a beat.
Damn, she’s gorgeous.
“Hey, Jonas’ house is really close, right?” she asks.
“Just a few blocks.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. In that case, it doesn’t make sense for you to take me all the way to my apartment when you’re staying at Jonas’ tonight. I’m sure Sarah will give me a ride home later. Let’s walk to Jonas’ house from here and—” She gasps. “Oh my God. I just had an idea. You, me, and Jonas should leave the bar together. That’d be so frickin’ funny.”
I chuckle. “And just like that, our movie’s back to being a porno again.”
Kat laughs.
“Do you really gotta do that to the poor woman? She already hates you enough to hire a hit on you.”
“Hell yeah, I gotta. It’s just too freaking hilarious. How much you wanna bet that tiger-woman is out there hitting on Jonas right now?”
“I’m not stupid enough to take that bet. I’ve been in far too many bars with Jonas over the years.”
Kat laughs and throws her arms around my neck. “God, I missed you.”
“I missed you, too, babe.” I wrap my arms around her and kiss her.
“I’m so glad you came to Seattle early,” she says into my chest, squeezing me tight. “This long-distance thing is killing me, Josh. It’s brutal.”
My chest constricts. If ever there was a cue for me to tell Kat about my upcoming move to Seattle that was just it. But I’m not ready to tell her. I can’t. It’s definitely happening—I’ve just made an offer on the perfect place a few miles from Jonas’. But now’s not the time. We’re in a fucking bathroom, for Chrissakes, and there�
�s probably a line of people waiting outside the door. And, anyway, my move is happening a whole two months from now, maybe even three. I should probably wait another month or so before I tell her and we start making plans.
“Come on, PG,” I say. “Let’s go see if Lucy’s torn Jonas limb from limb yet, or if she’s at least left the poor guy with a stump to stand on.”
Kat pulls herself together and smooths down her blouse. “Oh my God, I can’t wait to see that woman’s face when I suggest we three leave together.” She does a little shimmy. “This is gonna be the best porno ever.”
Seventy-Six
Kat
“Thanks again for the ride, Sarah,” I say, flopping onto my couch. “Sorry if I pulled you away from valuable study time.”
“No, I needed a break,” Sarah says, plopping herself down next to me. “There’s only so much a girl can read about mens rea and caveat emptor before she starts to go a little cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.”
“Well, thanks. It’s awesome to see you. You’ve been studying like a banshee lately.”
“I love how adding ‘like a banshee’ to anything makes it totally next level,” Sarah says, laughing. “I don’t even know what a banshee is or what the hell one does in real life.”
“Hell if I know. I think they scream?”
“And study for law exams, apparently.”
“Well, whatever they do, those damned banshees put their entire heart and soul into it, every time, that’s for sure.”
We both laugh.
“So when do exams finally start? Seems like you’ve been studying every minute since Vegas.”
“Next week,” Sarah says. “ I’ve got exams Monday through Thursday. And then on Friday Jonas is whisking me away to an undisclosed location. He says he’s taking me somewhere really special, but he won’t tell me where.”