The Josh and Kat Trilogy: A Bundle of Books 1-3

by Lauren Rowe

Sarah’s smile vanishes. “Aw, I’m sorry, Kat.”

  I rub my face. “I keep thinking maybe I should have said yes—that maybe when I said no I was being selfish and not looking out for the bean.”

  “What? No frickin’ way. You did the right thing—one hundred percent.”

  “You think?”

  “Absolutely. Regardless of marriage, Josh is gonna step up and take care of his kid—there’s no doubt about that.”

  “True.”

  “And it’s not like you need to get married to get onto Josh’s medical insurance or something—Josh can well afford to make sure you have the best medical care.”

  “Also true. In fact, he’s already told me he’ll pay for all my expenses, medical and otherwise.”

  “Of course, he will. Which means there were no practical decisions to make in response to Josh’s proposal—only emotional ones. And in that case, you did exactly the right thing: you followed your heart. Because, Kat, we both know you’d never be happy being married out of obligation. You’re a diehard romantic, through and through—and you need the fairytale.”

  “Me?”

  Sarah scoffs. “Yes, you. You’ve watched The Bodyguard and Pretty Woman like ten times each, for Pete’s sake.”

  “Twenty.”

  Sarah motions like I just proved her case.

  “Yeah, you’re probably right.” I rub my forehead and sigh. “The funny thing is I totally would have said yes if Josh’s proposal had been even the slightest bit from his heart—just the teeniest, tiniest bit.”

  “I gotta be honest, Kat, from what you’ve told me, I don’t really understand what was so horrible about it. I mean, you said he acted like he was doing you a huge favor, but maybe you just misinterpreted him? I’m sure he was just freaking out.”

  I pause, choosing my words. “Remember Mr. Darcy’s first proposal in Pride and Prejudice? When he was like, ‘Oh, you’re so beneath me, Miss Elizabeth and I really shouldn’t do this because you’re from a disgraceful family and wanting to marry you goes against all reason and logic and will besmirch my good name—but, hey, will you marry me?’”

  Sarah chuckles. “Yes, I remember it well because you’ve made me watch that movie, like, three times with you.”

  “Well, it was just like that. ‘Oh, Kat. I have no desire to marry you whatsoever and I’m doing you a huge favor and I don’t want our child at all and you’re so lucky I’m asking you because I’m so rich and amazing, but, hey, will you marry me?’” I wave my hands in the air. “It totally sucked donkey balls.”

  Sarah nods. “Sounds pretty shitty.”

  “And not only that, he had the audacity to ask me if the baby is his.” My cheeks turn hot at the memory.

  Sarah shrugs. “Okay, you just lost me. Why was that such a dastardly thing to ask?”

  I’m appalled. “Sarah, he was basically calling me a slut.”

  “Uh, no, he was asking if the baby is his. Not quite the same thing as calling you a slut.”

  “Josh is the only guy I’ve been with and he knows it,” I say, full of indignation.

  “Oh, well, then, you’re absolutely right: Josh should never have double-checked the baby he was about to support for the rest of his life, financially and otherwise, is definitely his.” Sarah shoots me a scolding look. “Cut him a little slack, honey—I’m sure Josh was just totally blindsided. Plus, you’d be the first to admit you’re no virgin. I don’t blame Josh for at least asking the question, Kat. I really don’t.”

  I open my mouth to refute her, but then I shut it. God, I hate it when it turns out I’ve been wrong about something. “Why are you always so damned nice, Sarah?” I ask. “It’s really annoying.”

  “I’m not that nice.”

  “Please don’t say that. Because if you’re not really, really nice, then that means I’m really, really bitchy.”

  Sarah laughs. “Okay, I’m really, really nice.”

  The door opens and my doctor, a slender woman with brown skin and salt and pepper hair, enters the room.

  “Hi, Doctor Gupta,” I say, shaking her hand. “This is my best friend, Sarah—soon to be Auntie Sarah.”

  The doctor shakes Sarah’s hand and smiles at me. “Are you ready to see your baby, Kat?”

  “Heck yeah. How about you Auntie Sarah? You ready to see your niece or nephew?”

  Sarah squeals and claps.

  After spreading some gel on my stomach, the doctor runs the wand of the sonogram machine over my stomach, and a swirling image of what might as well be outer space comes up onscreen.

  “What’s that?” I ask, pointing.

  “One moment,” the doctor says, maneuvering. “Okay. This is your uterus, Kat. And right there? That’s your baby.”

  “Wow,” Sarah says, putting her hand to her mouth.

  “That’s my baby?” I ask.

  “Yep. He or she is just about the size of a grape.”

  I look at Sarah. “My baby’s a grape.”

  “Grape Ape,” Sarah says.

  I bite my lip, too overwhelmed to speak further.

  “And do you see that bit of flickering right there?” the doctor continues. “That’s the baby’s heartbeat. Oh, it’s nice and strong—exactly what we like to see.”

  Sarah makes a sound of wonderment. “Hey, we should take a video of this for Josh.”

  “Oh, good idea,” I say. “My phone’s in my purse.”

  Sarah pulls out my phone and aims it at the screen. “Okay, action. Doctor, will you explain what’s onscreen for the baby’s father?”

  “Of course.” The doctor motions to the screen and explains everything, and when she’s done, Sarah pans the camera to me.

  “Hi, Josh,” I say, waving. “Well, it looks like our accidental Faraday is a stubborn little thing—surprise, surprise! I guess he or she’s decided they’re not going anywhere, after all.” I try to smile but tears unexpectedly prick my eyes. Goddammit. Josh must hate me. I’m the one who missed my pill, after all, not him. He trusted me to protect him from the one thing that freaked him out the most and I let him down. I wipe my eyes. “I’m really sorry, Josh,” I squeak out.

  Sarah turns off the video recorder. “I’m gonna edit that last part out. You have nothing to apologize for, Kat. It takes two to tango.”

  “No. Leave it in. I forgot to take my pill—and now I’ve totally ruined his life. I owe him an apology.”

  “You haven’t ruined his life,” the doctor interjects, her tone firm. “You’ve blessed it immeasurably. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

  Tears fill my eyes at these unexpectedly kind words from the doctor. “Thank you,” I say softly.

  Sarah squeezes my hand. “Listen to the doctor. She went to medical school and everything.”

  Doctor Gupta smiles warmly. “Kat, I’ve seen many women in your shoes. If you had a crystal ball and could see yourself a year from now, I think you’d be surprised in a good way.”

  I manage a smile. “Thank you.”

  The doctor turns back to the machine. “Now. Based on what I’m seeing here, you’re about nine weeks along, which makes your due date... December second, give or take two weeks on either side.”

  “Oh,” I say, my mood instantly getting a lift. “December second is Sagittarius,” I say.

  “Is that good?” Sarah asks.

  I nod. “Same as Henny.”

  “Oh, that is good.”

  “It’s a fire sign. A Sag is adventurous, creative, and passionate. Loves to travel. Makes friends easily. Funny as hell. But also can be bossy and impulsive as hell—especially a female Sagittarius. A female Sag can be hell on wheels.”

  Sarah raises an eyebrow. “Sounds like the grape isn’t gonna fall far from the vine.” She addresses the doctor. “Can you tell if the grape is a boy or girl?”

  “Not yet. We’ll probably be able to determine gender at around twenty weeks.”

  “Okay, I’m calling it right now,” Sarah says, putting up her hand. “You’re having a gir
l.”

  “You think?”

  “I know. And do you know how I know? Because I believe in God—and if there’s one person in this world who karmically deserves to wind up with a hell-on-wheels daughter, it’s you, Kat.”

  “Hey, did you just insult me?” I ask.

  Sarah laughs. “Not at all.”

  The doctor takes the sonogram wand off my belly and cleans up the gel on my skin. “Do you have any questions, Kat?”

  “A couple.” I take a deep breath, gathering my nerve. “Before I found out I was pregnant, I drank some booze—quite a bit, actually. I was in Las Vegas. When will I know if I gave the baby alcohol-fetus-whatever-whatever?”

  “Fetal alcohol syndrome?”

  “Yeah, that.”

  “There’s no way to know for sure until later, but the odds are low. In the vast majority of unplanned pregnancies, the mother has consumed alcohol and there’s absolutely no ill effect. We’ll keep an eye on things, and if there’s any sign of a problem, we’ll do more testing later.”

  “Okay,” I say, exhaling.

  “At this point, I’d put it out of your mind and not worry at all—although, of course, I want you to abstain from alcohol for the remainder of your pregnancy.”

  “And is it the same answer if I smoked pot once, too?”

  Sarah looks surprised.

  “Well,” the doctor says, doing a much better job of keeping a poker face than Bugs Bunny to my left. “There are no guarantees, yet again, but the chances of a problem are still low. We’ll know more at the twenty-week sonogram. Of course, you should swear off all controlled substances for the remainder of your pregnancy.”

  “Yes, of course.” I clear my throat. “It was a one-time thing.”

  “Any other questions?” the doctor asks.

  “Yes. One more. I’ve had some pretty insane orgasms lately—like, really, really intense orgasms—some of them while sitting on an orgasm machine with the power of a jet engine, and—”

  Sarah gasps. “What?”

  “Long story,” I say. “But, anyway, is it possible I scrambled the baby’s brain or, you know, made it implode or something?”

  The doctor lets out a surprised chuckle but then quickly pulls herself together. “Generally speaking, sex and orgasms aren’t harmful to the fetus during pregnancy—and, in fact, orgasms arguably provide a benefit because they’re stress-relieving for the mother.”

  I shoot Sarah a smart-ass grin. “See? I was just being a selfless mother when I sat on that jet engine and almost passed out from sexual pleasure.”

  Sarah blushes. “Just as all selfless mothers have done throughout the history of time, Kitty Kat.”

  The doctor smiles. “At this stage, you need not limit your sexual activity with yourself or a monogamous partner, although I’d definitely advise staying off that jet engine for the remainder of your pregnancy, just to be on the safe side.”

  “Okay,” I say, pouting. “Well, that’s a bummer—I like my jet engine.”

  “Well, then here’s some good news to cheer you up,” the doctor says. “As soon as your morning sickness subsides, which I predict will happen in the next few weeks, you might very well experience a dramatic increase in your sex drive.”

  “Whachoo talkin’ about, Willis?” I say. “An increase in my sex drive?”

  “A dramatic increase?” Sarah adds, her eyes wide. “Is there a level of sex drive in existence above ‘Katherine Morgan’?”

  Sarah and I share a laugh and the doctor can’t help but giggle with us.

  “And here’s something else: when you do engage in sexual activity, you might also experience heightened pleasure,” Doctor Gupta adds, raising her eyebrow.

  I throw my hands up. “Thank you, Baby Jesus in a Wicker Basket,” I say. “Finally, some fantastic news in all this. Thank you so much, Doctor.”

  The doctor chuckles. “So, do you have any other questions?”

  “Nope. I’m good. Thank you so much.”

  The doctor touches my forearm. “You’re going to be fine, Kat. You’ll see.”

  Ninety-Six

  Kat

  Sarah and I settle into her car and fasten our seatbelts.

  “You wanna swing by Starbucks before I take you back to your car?” Sarah asks, starting her engine.

  “Great,” I say. I look at my watch. “After that, I think I’ll head back to the hospital to check on Colby again.”

  “Can I join you? ” Sarah asks. “I’d love to give Colby a big hug.”

  “I’m sorry. I think you should visit Colby after he’s home. Honestly, he’s been pretty depressed lately—he doesn’t really wanna see anyone but family.”

  “Poor Colby,” Sarah says. She pulls her car out of the parking lot and heads toward the restaurant where my car is parked. “Hey, don’t forget,” Sarah says, “before you send that video to Josh, delete your apology at the end.”

  I don’t reply.

  “Kat. You don’t owe Josh an apology for being pregnant with his child—he made that baby right along with you.”

  “I know he made the baby with me, but he didn’t intend to take the heightened risk he did. If a girl tells a guy, ‘Yes, I’m on the pill,’ then she’d better be on the frickin’ pill to the best of her ability.” I shake my head. “Plus, I was pretty harsh with him in the hospital. You know how I get when my panties are in a twist.”

  Sarah makes a face that tells me she’s well aware of how I get when my panties are in a twist.

  “But now I realize Josh was just doing his best in a difficult situation,” I say. “Oh, Sarah, I want him so much. I don’t care about marriage. I don’t care about the magic words. I just want Josh to be mine—I want us to love each other completely.” I let out a long, tortured exhale and put my face in my hands. “Sarah, I think I might have lost him forever.”

  Sarah scoffs. “No.”

  “Yes. He’s totally pulled away from me this past week. I think he might be done with me for good.”

  “No, honey. Josh isn’t done with you—not even close.”

  I look at her, tears in my eyes. “I love him, Sarah. I love him like I’ve never loved anyone before. I’m so scared I’ve lost him.”

  “Aw, honey.”

  “I want to give him everything but he’s always holding back. He’s always got his guard up. He never lets me in completely.”

  “Sounds like the Faraday twins are more alike than meets the eye.” She smiles sympathetically and touches my hand. “Jonas was the same way and look at him now. He couldn’t be more ‘all-in.’ Just be patient. Josh just needs time.”

  “I don’t know how to be patient.”

  “I know, honey—but maybe it’s time you learned.” She purses her lips. “It’s really too bad you can’t get yourself stabbed by a Ukrainian hitman in a bathroom at U Dub. I really think that would do the trick.”

  “Damned grape spoils everything,” I say. “I’d totally get myself stabbed if it weren’t for the damned grape.”

  Sarah laughs.

  “And Josh meeting my family is off the table, too, at least for a while. At this point, that would be a recipe for disaster.”

  Sarah makes a sympathetic face.

  “So other than those two ideas, what other ‘external event’ could I arrange to make Josh realize he loves me and finally wants to go ‘all-in’?” I ask. “Obviously, me being pregnant with his spawn didn’t do the trick.”

  “I dunno,” Sarah says. “It’s gotta be something that makes Josh realize you love him completely—like, you know, unconditionally. If you can convince him he’s completely safe with you, no matter what, then maybe he’ll feel like he can finally let go and love you the same way in return.”

  “Good idea in concept,” I say. “But I have no idea what that ‘something’ would be.” I bite the inside of my cheek and look out the car window. “Hmm.”

  “Hmm,” Sarah agrees. “Can you think of something that would make him feel—”

  �
�I’ve got it.” I sit up in my seat, adrenaline flooding me. “I know exactly what to do.”

  “Well, that was fast. What is it?” Sarah asks.

  A demonic smile spreads across my face.

  “What?” Sarah asks. “Oh my God—what?”

  “I can’t tell you,” I say. “It’s too personal. But trust me, it’s something that’s gonna make Josh realize I’m one hundred percent all-in—and also that I’m the woman of his dreams.”

  “You’re smiling devilishly,” Sarah says.

  “Because I’m thinking something devilish.”

  “Gimme a hint,” Sarah says.

  “Oh, little Miss Sarah Cruz, you couldn’t handle it, trust me—your head would explode.”

  Sarah makes an adorable face. “God, you scare me,” she says.

  I look out the window of Sarah’s car again, my skin sizzling and popping with electricity, a happy smile dancing on my lips for the first time in a week. Yes. I know exactly what to do to coax Joshua Faraday to finally let go completely. I’ve just got to make him see he’s absolutely safe with me, in every conceivable way—that I love every little molecule of him, no matter how perverted.

  My smile broadens.

  They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. But in the case of my beloved sick fuck, Joshua William Faraday, I’m quite certain the entry point into his tortured heart is through an organ just a tad bit lower on his anatomy.

  Ninety-Seven

  Josh

  I think Kat was put on this earth to torture me.

  Goddammit, I don’t just want her. I don’t just miss her. I crave her like a drug.

  I look up from the report I’m writing on my laptop and rub my forehead. Fuck, I can’t concentrate worth a shit. I should have finished this stupid report three days ago, but I can’t seem to trudge through it. I peer at my screen, just to see if whatever the fuck I’ve been writing for the past hour makes a lick of sense. For all I know, I’ve been writing, “Goobledoobledabbah” over and over. Fuck me.

  I lean back in my chair.

  Why’d I have to give in to my addiction and call Kat two hours ago? I thought hearing her voice would make me feel better, maybe take the edge off the pain I’ve been feeling all week, but all it did was torture me and make me crave her even more.