The Case of the Itinerant Ibizan

by B R Snow

“Okay,” Carl said to the Nostril. “I need to count the money. Toss it over.”

  “Let me see the product first,” the Nostril said, shining his flashlight on Jolene.

  She squinted, then set the backpack on the ground and removed two large bundles wrapped in clear plastic. She held them up for the Nostril to see and waited for further instructions.

  “Ten kilos,” Carl said. “Just like we agreed. Okay, throw me the money.”

  The Nostril tossed his backpack on the ground directly in front of Carl. He knelt, quickly counted the bundles of cash, then stood and glared at Tommy.

  “Where’s the other hundred grand?” Carl said.

  “You mean the hundred grand the cops gave you the other day?” the Nostril said. “Nice try.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I heard all about it. I know you have it. And since that envelope had my initials on it, I’d like it back,” the Nostril said.

  As they argued back and forth, I focused on Jolene who listened to the two men, then sat down on the ground.

  “Did either one of you stop to wonder how my father got his hands on a hundred thousand dollars?” Jolene said to no one in particular.

  “Good question,” I whispered to Chief Abrams.

  “Yeah, it’s a little late to be asking it though.”

  “Stay out of this, Jolene,” Carl snapped.

  “Don’t talk to her like that,” the Nostril said. “Apologize.”

  “What?” Carl said, frowning at the Nostril.

  “I said apologize.”

  “For what?”

  “Geez, when it comes to you, where would I start?” the Nostril said, laughing. “Don’t worry about him, Jolene. Consider the source.”

  “I don’t worry about anything,” Jolene said, then she started laughing. “Never have, never will.”

  “Shut up, Jolene,” Carl said. “You’re starting to be a real a pain to have around.”

  The Nostril slowly raised his gun and pointed it at Carl’s head.

  “Okay. Now I’m going to have to insist on that apology,” the Nostril said. “Why don’t you get up off the ground and come over here, Jolene?”

  “Are we done playing who’s got the hundred grand?” she said, reaching for one of the meth bundles.

  “Come on over here, baby,” the Nostril said.

  “Why would she do that?” Carl said, glancing back and forth at them with a confused look on his face. “And don’t call her baby.”

  “You’re such an idiot,” the Nostril said. “Come on, Jolene. Right over here.”

  “She’s not going anywhere,” Carl said, raising his pistol at the Nostril. “Especially with you.”

  “Don’t point that thing at me unless you plan on using it,” the Nostril said.

  “Oh, don’t worry, I’m gonna use it.”

  Then two shots fired at close range rang out and echoed through the woods. Carl and the Nostril stared at each other, then dropped their guns and fell to their knees. They remained in that position looking at each other, stunned. Then they both fell forward face down on the ground.

  “That’s gonna make my job a whole lot easier,” the Chief said, glancing over at me.

  I started to get up, but Chief Abrams pulled me back.

  “Just wait a sec,” he whispered.

  I focused on Jolene through the binoculars, and she seemed dazed, even oblivious to what had just happened. Then she noticed the Nostril’s flashlight on the ground and picked it up. She stood, pointed the light at the two bodies on the ground then cocked her head.

  “Carl? Tommy?”

  “She’s completely out of it,” the Chief whispered.

  It was the biggest understatement I’d ever heard in my life.

  She stumbled forward toward the bodies staring down at them. Jolene whimpered like an injured puppy and wandered around in a small circle. Then she did something that would haunt me for months to come. She searched the burlap bag she was using as a purse and removed a small pocketknife. She struggled to open it, then picked up one of the meth bundles and sliced it down the middle. I watched her stumble back to the bodies and empty the contents of the bag all over both men. When they were covered with the white powder, she tossed the plastic on the ground and giggled hysterically.

  “Good batch, huh?” she said, glancing around before spotting the second bundle. “Okay, let’s finish this once and for all.”

  “What’s she talking about?” I whispered.

  “I have no idea.”

  Jolene dropped the flashlight on the ground, and she stood framed in the light as she picked up the second bundle and sliced it down the middle with the knife. But instead of spreading it over the two bodies on the ground, she held it up over her head and poured it into her mouth. As soon as I realized what she was doing, I burst out from behind the rock and raced toward her. By the time I got to her, she was on the ground choking and gagging. A white foam streamed out of her mouth, and her eyes were blinking rapidly.

  “Jolene,” I said as I slid underneath her on the ground and held her in my arms, shocked by how little she weighed. “Jolene.” I slapped her face, and her eyelids fluttered before she managed to focus on me.

  “Suzy?”

  “Yes, it’s me.”

  “What are you doing here?” she whispered, then swallowed hard. “Wow. What a rush.”

  “C’mon, Jolene,” I said, shaking her shoulders. “Hang on. We’re going to get you some help.”

  “No, I’m fine,” she whispered as she closed her eyes. “This is…the way it had to go.”

  “Jolene,” I said as I continued to vigorously shake her. “Come on. Hang in there.”

  “Shhh.”

  The sound she produced reminded me of air being let out of a tire. I felt her body start to relax, then she came to and opened her eyes.

  “I got a question.”

  “Sure. Go ahead,” I said, glancing up at Chief Abrams who was standing next to me.

  “There never was a hundred grand, was there?”

  “No, Jolene,” I whispered. “There wasn’t.”

  “I knew it,” she whispered, managing a small grin. “Well played.”

  My stomach sunk, and my eyes filled with tears as I again felt her begin to drift away.

  And then she was gone.

  Epilogue

  Well played. I spent the next three days in bed tormented by Jolene’s final words. I replayed those final moments dozens of times with the curtains closed, soft jazz playing, and Chloe by my side. The only useful thing I did was have an extended phone call with Tony. We talked at length about his sister’s life, her poor choices, and her death. He’d been surprised to hear that Tommy Hoover had still been in the picture, and was baffled by the possibility that his sister might have been a government informant at one point in her life. He asked me to make arrangements, like I’d done with his father, to have her ashes shipped to him. I agreed and was relieved when he stopped short of asking me to explain Jolene’s motivations or lack thereof: I had nothing to offer. We ended the call with a mutual promise to stay in touch. I gave the probability of that happening no better than a 50-50 shot.

  It wasn’t because I didn’t like Tony, it was quite the opposite in fact, but I knew that every time I saw him, or even spoke on the phone, his sister’s death, and the role I’d played in it, would come rushing back to haunt me. Everyone, especially Chief Abrams, scoffed whenever I mentioned that I was at least partially responsible for Jolene’s death. I eventually agreed they had a point, and my obsession with the idea faded into my subconscious.

  But it continued to surface and nag at me from time to time like a wound that would not heal.

  Over time, I got back into the swing of things and rededicated myself to our work at the Inn. We expanded our rescue program, Josie and I finally finished the presentation we were scheduled to present at an upcoming conference, and my mother and her architect completed an initial set of plans for the zoo and ani
mal sanctuary. All of us had written off her idea as just of those late-at-night wine conversations people tend to have. But when she showed us the plans and mentioned she was already in discussions with a zoo in China about taking a few Yak off their hands, we started to believe her.

  I should have known better. Doubting my mother’s resolve to get something done only made her more determined to prove all the skeptics wrong. Not to mention it really ticked her off.

  We even managed to find some time to enjoy the River. The water level had peaked and had begun to recede in early July, but it remained high throughout the summer. I decided that Mother Nature, while still angry with us, was starting to cool off. But the high water didn’t stop us from doing a little fishing and taking all five house-dogs out for frequent swims in the Lake of the Isles.

  Josie and Summerman were still at an impasse, but they’d at least figured out a way to be in the same room together without her bursting into tears. Merlin continued to be a thorn in my side, and Doc and I continued to flirt whenever we saw each other. But before we could discover if it was ever going to go anywhere, he, along with Summerman and Merlin, headed off to an undisclosed location and were gone for most of July and all of August. When Summerman did arrive back in the islands, he came alone. And as the official last day of summer approached, I, once again, started making plans for being there when Summerman crossed back over.

  I guess some things in life need to be seen more than once before you believe they’re possible.

  On the day before he crossed over, I headed into reception just as Jenny was arriving for work. Sugar, the starving lab we’d rescued, bounced through the front door and headed straight for me. I knelt down and rubbed the dog’s head, then patted her stomach and glanced up at Jenny.

  “She’s turning into a little chubster,” I said, shaking my head. “Aren’t you, Sugar?”

  The dog rolled over onto her back and kicked her legs in the air.

  “You’re kinda proving my point,” I said, laughing as I rubbed the dog’s belly.

  “Is she getting too heavy?” Jenny said, frowning.

  “No, she’s good, but keep an eye on her weight,” I said, standing up.

  “I have a hard time saying no to her,” Jenny said.

  “Occupational hazard,” I said, glancing over at Sammy who was standing behind the counter studying the computer. “Sammy, I need to run out for a while.”

  “No problem,” he said, glancing up. “Hey, I talked with Tony this morning. He said to say hi.”

  I flinched, then forced a smile and grabbed my car keys from my pocket.

  “How’s he doing?” I said, pausing at the front door.

  “He’s okay, but he said this is his last year of playing ball.”

  “Really?” I said, walking over to the counter. “Why is he quitting?”

  “He said the dream is over. But he’s okay with it. He said something about outer space I didn’t get, and then he said something even weirder.”

  “What was that?”

  “He said you would understand better than anybody else why he was walking away.”

  I frowned as I thought about it, then I smiled.

  “Shoot for the stars. You might only end up on the moon, but you’ll still be in a place only a handful of people have ever seen.”

  “Yeah, that was it,” Sammy said. “You really said that to him?”

  “I did.”

  “That’s pretty good advice.”

  “Yeah, I have my moments.”

  I thought about Jolene and her complete lack of dreams about what might be possible for her to achieve in life and my stomach dropped. I flashed back to that night in the woods, and could almost feel her birdlike body in my arms. Well played. Sammy caught the look on my face.

  “Are you all right? All of a sudden you seem really sad.”

  “I’ll be okay.”

  Then I whistled softly, and Chloe came tearing into reception wagging her tail furiously and staring up at me.

  “See? Problem solved,” I said to Sammy as I rubbed her head. “You want to go for a ride?”

  Chloe raised up on her back legs and tapped the car keys with one of her front paws.

  “I think she likes the idea.”

  We went for a long drive through the back roads with no particular destination in mind. We had the windows and sunroof open, and Chloe seemed to sigh contentedly whenever the cool breeze hit her face. After putting a hundred miles of destination-free mileage on the car, we slowly made our way home for a night in front of the TV with Josie. All five house-dogs slept soundly in front of the fireplace while we sipped wine, sort of watched a bad rom-com, and, in general, just caught up. I slept soundly with Chloe stretched out next to me, and I woke fully prepared for the last day of summer.

  I spent most of the day thinking up ways to stay busy, and around six PM I hopped in the boat by myself and made my way to Summerman’s island. The wind was down and the early evening air was warm, and I lovingly glanced around at the fall foliage.

  As expected, I heard piano music coming from the library, and I was greeted by Murray as soon as I stepped out of the boathouse. The dog had an extra bounce in his step, and he led the way as I strolled toward the screen door. Murray tapped it with his paw, caught the partially open door with his head, then waited for me. I pulled it open, and the dog dashed inside and draped himself across Summerman’s feet underneath the piano.

  “Hello, Suzy,” he said, continuing to play. “Why am I not surprised to see you here?”

  “I guess I’m a slow learner,” I said, sitting down on the couch.

  “Not exactly how I’d describe you, but whatever floats your boat, right?”

  “I have a few more questions.”

  “I’m shocked,” he said with a grin as he attempted what looked like the piano version of a triple somersault. “Dang it. I almost had it. What’s your question?”

  “You mentioned that on the day of your accident, that it was Paco, your grandmother’s partner, who managed to bring you back to life.”

  “You’re slipping, Suzy,” he said, trying the complicated run up the keyboard again. “That’s not a question.”

  “Funny. I was wondering what ever happened to him and your grandmother.”

  He attempted the run a third time, executed it to perfection, then grinned down at the keyboard. “Finally. It took me all afternoon to get that right.” Then he closed the lid and glanced over. “Okay, I’m all yours. What was your question?”

  “What happened to your grandmother and Paco?”

  “Would you like the truth, or do you want the easy answer?” he said, staring at me.

  “The truth, of course.”

  “Okay, but you should be careful what you wish for,” he said, getting up from the piano and sitting down next to me on the couch. “A few years ago, they…transitioned.”

  “Transitioned?” I said, frowning. “What the heck does that mean?”

  “I have no idea,” he said, shaking his head. “I still can’t believe it myself. But Murray and I watched it with our eyes right on the verandah up at the house. Didn’t we, Murray?”

  The dog woofed once and trotted over and stretched out across Summerman’s feet.

  “You mean, they crossed over, right? Like you do?”

  “No, this was different,” he whispered. “And transitioned is the best word I’ve come up with to describe it.”

  “Transitioned into what?”

  “Two of the most beautiful bald eagles you’ve ever seen,” he whispered.

  “C’mon, Summerman. If you don’t want to tell me, just say so,” I said with a grin.

  “No, I’m not joking. Paco was Native American and very famous in his tribe for being what you and I might call a shaman.”

  “Okay, yeah, I get it,” I said, laughing and wiggling my fingers at him. “Booga-Booga. He was able to turn himself into an eagle. And take your grandmother with him.”

  “There are a lot o
f things going on around us we don’t understand. I thought that someone who asks as many questions as you do would get that. And Doc is convinced that you’re someone who’s definitely on the path to enlightenment.”

  “Doc said that?”

  “Doc’s a Buddhist,” Summerman said with a shrug.

  “He is?”

  “Yeah, but he’s not sure he’s a very good one. I guess we were both wrong. Maybe you aren’t an inquisitive seeker of knowledge. Maybe you’re just nosy.”

  “Geez, Summerman,” I said, scowling. “You might want to cut me some slack. I just started to get my head around your situation, and now you’re telling me about some sweet old couple who turned themselves into bald eagles.”

  “If you watch the sky closely, you’ll probably see them later while Murray and I are crossing over.”

  “No, it’s not possible,” I said, shaking my head vigorously. “I don’t believe it.”

  “You aren’t going to throw up, are you?”

  “No, I don’t think so.”

  “Well, if you do, either try to make it to the bathroom or go outside before you do,” he said, laughing. “Cleaning that up is not how I want to spend my last few minutes on this side.”

  “I’ll do my best. Bald eagles? There must be some mistake.”

  “Mistake. Miracle. Mystery. Take your pick. They all work,” he said, getting up off the couch. “Okay, Murray. Are you ready?”

  The dog bounced to his feet and began rapidly pacing back and forth.

  “I think he likes the idea,” Summerman said, laughing.

  “Yeah, I recognize the look.”

  “Suzy, I have to say that it’s been a pleasure seeing you this summer. And I’m sure we will be seeing lots more of each other when I get back next year. Be sure to say hi to Josie for me. We didn’t quite get as far as I hoped we would, but I think we might be on the right track.”

  I stood, and he gave me a long hug.

  “Try to stay out of trouble,” he said.

  “Yeah, you too,” I said, shrugging.

  “I never have to worry about that over there,” he said, starting to disrobe. “You’re welcome to stay, but if you watch me get naked, I just might be forced to hover in on you while you’re showering.”