The Bluebird

by Kristy McCaffrey

  She gifted him with a tentative smile.

  “Our next dinner with them may prove to be a bit awkward, though,” he added.

  He gathered up their meal, stood, then offered a hand to her. She took it, and he pulled her to her feet. “Don’t be afraid to talk to me, Chigger.”

  She lifted her chin and met his gaze, her bashfulness suddenly gone. “I think from now on, I’ll need a swig from that bottle of whiskey you have before I have any more heart-to-heart talks with you.”

  “That can be arranged.”

  She turned away, and her hand slipped from his.

  Rumi whispered in his ear. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.

  * * *

  A weight had been lifted from Molly’s shoulders. The uncomfortable conversation with Jake had, miraculously, eased her anxiety, along with the tension of their forced close proximity.

  She sensed his desire for her—had all along, if she was to be honest with herself—but more disconcerting was her own yearning. She’d never felt this way before. She needed to keep her wits about her.

  As they navigated a downhill path into a valley crowded with pine trees, she watched Jake atop Fernando ahead of her.

  It dawned on her then why Pearl had said such things to her. The clever woman had meant to use it as a cautionary tactic, and it had worked.

  And while recounting Pearl’s words to Jake had been deeply mortifying at the time, his reaction had served to lessen the fear that had penetrated into Molly’s bones. He would leave her be unless she invited him to her. I won’t kiss you unless you ask me.

  The thought caused a pleasant flutter in her stomach. If this incident had taught her anything, however, it was to take such matters slowly.

  But I don’t have much time with Jake.

  Still, it wasn’t a reason to run blindly forward, led only by the heart.

  By late afternoon, they came to a rocky impasse.

  “We’ll camp here tonight then enter the valley beyond by foot in the morning,” Jake said.

  Molly nodded and set about helping him make camp. He erected two canvas tents while she dug out a fire pit. She gathered wood—hunting for dry pieces—then started a fire. She positioned an iron tripod over the flames and hung a pot of coffee to boil. While it heated, they ate the remainder of the cheese and bread that Pearl had given them.

  “Where will you go next?” Molly asked, determined to keep her attachment to Jake McKenna to a minimum.

  He swallowed water from a canteen. “Well, I’ve never been to Canada.” He bent his knee and rested a forearm on it. “Where will you go?”

  “Back to Tucson. But maybe I might tour through Europe soon.”

  “And how do you plan to do that?”

  It was true that money and resources were a problem, but an idea had recently occurred to her. “I could become a nanny to a wealthy family and travel with them.”

  “But then you’d be stuck caring for someone else’s children.”

  She shrugged. It was a small accommodation to make. Unfortunately, she didn’t know any wealthy families with children who were about to embark on a trip overseas.

  “It’s much easier for a man,” Molly said. “Have you ever thought to write about your adventures?”

  “No. I doubt I’d have the patience for it.”

  “But you studied that Rumi poet. I assume his work wasn’t written in English.”

  “It wasn’t. I had a rather pushy teacher named Doruk during my time in Istanbul. He was blind, but he insisted I learn Persian.”

  “Why was he pushy?”

  “He decided that I would become a renaissance man.”

  Molly broke off a piece of bread. “What does that mean?” She popped the food in her mouth.

  “Basically that I should be awakened. That I should stop my heathen ways and find enlightenment.”

  “Did you?”

  His eyes lit with mischief. “Can’t a man be both?”

  She couldn’t resist and took his bait. “So you slip your way past the law, while being fully aware of what you’re doing?”

  “Something like that.” He pulled an apple from their gear and took a bite, then handed the fruit to her.

  She stared at the gaping hole he left. “Thanks for leaving some for me.” She bit off a much smaller chunk. Once she’d swallowed the food, she said, “This period of enlightenment must’ve taken a lot of time.”

  “I had plenty.” Jake removed the coffeepot from the tripod with a long stick then set it on the ground. “I was very ill.”

  “With what?” Her chest tightened. There it was again, that unnatural grip of concern for Jake’s welfare.

  Jake grabbed a burlap rag to shield his fingers from the heated handle then poured coffee into two cups. He handed one to Molly. “Malaria.”

  “Isn’t that fatal?” she asked, alarmed.

  “As you can see, I managed to survive. Once I got past the vomiting and endless fevers, I was as weak as a kitten. It took me quite a while to feel myself again.”

  “How close to death were you?” she asked quietly, abandoning the apple.

  Jake reached over and took it from her. “Met the grim reaper face-to-face.” He finished what remained of the fruit and set the core aside. “We should save these for the horses.”

  “What’s it like to almost die?”

  He sipped his coffee then said matter-of-factly, “At first you fight it. Then there’s despair. And finally, you make peace with it.”

  “God’s will?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Or God’s grace.”

  He paused, staring into the fire. “I’ve never told anybody…” He ran a hand across his cheeks. “When I thought it was the end, I had an encounter. I’m not sure what else to call it. I think it was my folks.” His eyes flicked to hers. “They told me it wasn’t my time.”

  “That’s a wonderful vision.”

  “I guess. I’ll admit it was nice to know they were still with me.”

  “You’ll have to meet my Aunt Emma. She has an ability into those other pathways.”

  “I’d like that.” His gaze sent a frisson of anticipation through her. He didn’t want their acquaintance to end here, and she was glad. But as the silence lengthened, her head filled with visions of Pearl’s descriptive intimate activities between men and women, and she began to fidget.

  Jake broke the spell. “That reminds me of a tale I once heard while I was in Turkey. It was the story of the wolf-bride.”

  Molly willed herself to relax as he spoke.

  “There was a man who had a son, so he sent for a wise elder to cast the boy’s horoscope. He was told that his son was fated to be torn to pieces by a wolf. So the father built an underground chamber and hid his son away. When the boy became a man, it was time to take a wife, so the father arranged for a bride to be brought to him. His father’s brother had a daughter that would suit. The wedding celebrations lasted for seven days and seven nights, and at the end, the girl was brought to the chamber. As soon as the man and his new wife were alone, she turned into a wolf and tore him to pieces. Then she turned back into a girl, having no idea what had happened.”

  Molly frowned. “That’s a terrible story.”

  Jake laughed. “It has to do with fate. Whatever is to be, will be. You can’t fight it.”

  Molly shook her head. “I don’t believe that.”

  “It certainly makes a man think twice about matrimony.”

  “Only if you marry the wrong woman.”

  “Yes, but a man has little choice. He’s fated to only marry one woman.”

  Molly chewed on her lip. “I suppose that’s one way of looking at it. I prefer to think we make our own paths. You certainly did that when you left the orphanage at fifteen.”

  “Haven’t you ever felt yourself pulled toward something?”

  “Yes, sometimes. Did something tug you out of that orphanage?”

  “Besi
des that it was an unhappy existence and there was no family waiting out in the world for me?” His face hardened. “I’m always wondering what’s over the next horizon.”

  “So it’s the unknown that drives you forward. I suppose I feel the same. There must be more to this world, and I long to experience it.”

  “I’ve seen a great deal. It can be exciting at first, but in the end, it’s the people you remember.” His gaze rested on her, the hardness from the moment before receding. “Sometimes you wish for that person you can be yourself with. The person you were meant to be with.”

  Her happiness over his attention gave way to frustration. “There you go again with this idea that people are fated to be together, that by some magical chance their paths will cross. What if they don’t? What if people are just people? Imperfect and mundane.” She refused to be swept up by his charm.

  He looked at her as if he were a child and she’d just stolen his last molasses cookie. “Haven’t you ever experienced magic in your life, Molly Rose?”

  Perhaps. She felt it even now, with Jake. But she wasn’t ready for this. She wasn’t prepared for a connection with him that would alter her life. Maybe in a few years, but not now.

  “Have you?” she shot back in an effort to avoid his question.

  The possessive flash in his eyes told her what she already knew but was doing her best to ignore.

  “We hardly know each other, Jake.”

  He grinned. “Ask me anything.”

  Reckless, she plowed ahead. “Have you ever been in love?”

  “No. Have you?”

  “No. Do you have any children?”

  He chuckled. “No. Do you?”

  She pursed her lips. “Of course not. I think I’d know if I did.” She set the coffee aside, not wanting a sour stomach before bedtime. “Have you ever been in prison?”

  He paused. “Define prison.”

  She glared at him. “An incarceration for breaking the law.”

  He considered her words. “I guess you could say that’s a yes although both times the charges were trumped up, so I didn’t really deserve to be there.”

  She raised her eyebrows in expectation, waiting for an explanation.

  “Oh, you want details.” He prodded the fire with a stick, sending sparks upward in a flurry of chaos. “The first time was in Casablanca. I was seventeen and had purchased two camels that I planned to use to scout out local wool providers. My goal was to broker the wool for shipping to Europe, but I was soon arrested for camel theft. The man who’d sold the animals to me double-crossed me. I spent twelve days in jail until it was proven that I didn’t steal them.

  “The second time was a year later after I’d fled Shanghai to Vietnam. I was captured by the Chinese and accused of being a spy for the French. They were fighting at the time for control of an area called Tonkin.”

  “Were you?”

  His attention swung back to her. “Was I what?”

  “A spy.”

  “No, but I had befriended a few French officers and shared knowledge of shipping activities I was privy to.”

  Dear God. This man had nine lives. “How bad was your imprisonment?”

  “Thankfully it didn’t last long. China and France signed a peace protocol, and I was released just a few days later.”

  “What if that hadn’t happened?”

  “I might still be there, I suppose.”

  Firelight illuminated the sharp lines of his face, and she craved to touch him. “Were you afraid?”

  “I’m always a little afraid, Molly. I’m just a man, imperfect and mundane.” Amusement danced in his gaze as he repeated her words. “And I really want to kiss you.”

  The treetops swayed, a low rush of wind accompanying the spectacle. The horses snorted beyond in the dark as they grazed. Starlight flickered overhead, the heavens yet one more mystery in this world that Molly was so curious about, a mystery much like the man beside her.

  “Yes,” she replied, her voice barely audible.

  He clasped her hand, pulling her to him as he moved forward to close the gap separating them. Before she had her bearings, his right hand cupped the side of her face, and his mouth—wearing the faintest hint of a smile—took hers decisively.

  They fit perfectly as his lips molded to hers, and longing swept through her for everything his touch promised. The intense desire she sensed from him mixed with her own, shooting straight to her abdomen…and lower. She sank into him, tasting coffee and apples, and her free hand slipped under his arm and she grasped his shoulder, tugging him closer.

  She turned more fully to him, and his arms encircled her, his hand bracing behind her head as he deepened the kiss. She opened herself to him, relieved to finally know him this way. She hadn’t fully enjoyed the previous kiss in the tunnel and had done far too much imagining since—it was nearly driving her mad.

  His mouth moved along her jawline and to her neck, and she tilted her head to give him better access. His hand came between them. He slipped it inside the flap of her coat, resting it just above her breasts. She kissed him in response, holding nothing back, and buried her fingers into his hair. He ran his palm lower and explored her, despite the clothing she wore.

  Her breath hitched, and she pressed herself closer to him, aching to bring him atop her.

  He resisted her. “Damn,” he whispered against her mouth, “this is moving faster than I thought it would.”

  “I won’t tell Robert.” Her lips found his again.

  He stopped and tilted his head down, resting his forehead to hers, his breath heavy. “As much as I’d like to make love to you, we shouldn’t.”

  His words triggered visions of Pearl’s audacious descriptions from the night before, but instead of trepidation, an odd surge of confidence filled her. Jake wanted her, and it made her feel bold.

  She leaned forward to kiss him again. “I told you. I won’t tell my brother. I won’t tell anyone.”

  He released a strangled laugh and put a few inches of distance between them, just enough to look her in the eye. “Am I really that much of a cad?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “But you’re perfectly happy to let me seduce you and not tell a soul we’ve become lovers.”

  Molly tried to clear the fog from her head, a difficult task with all the newly-awakened desire coursing through her. “Yes,” she replied, exasperated.

  He withdrew. “No.”

  “What do you mean no?” She reached to yank him back, but he evaded her.

  “I want you to be more certain.”

  “I am.”

  A shadow of doubt crossed his face.

  Embarrassment engulfed her. “Is it because I’m so inexperienced?” she asked in a rush. “If you’ll just tell me…how…well, how it works, I promise I’ll try my best.”

  “No, that’s not it. You’re perfect just the way you are. You’re absolutely the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

  The sincerity in his eyes and the raw truth in his voice galvanized her. How could a woman hold out against such a confession? She would strip her clothing away and give her body to him in a heartbeat. All he had to do was ask. For a brief, wild moment, she considered doing it anyway. She could seduce him. Couldn’t she? A sliver of hesitation held her back.

  “I want you to be sure, Molly. I don’t want to steal your heart. I’d rather you gave it to me freely.”

  “Is this the enlightened heathen talking?” she asked, finally finding her voice.

  “No. Just a sincere jackal.”

  She shook her head. “I’ll bet you were much more fun when you were eighteen.”

  He flashed her a smile filled with his roguish charm. “You’re eighteen. I know full well the recklessness in your blood.”

  “I’m no salt smuggler or French spy,” she said, her tone cheeky.

  “Never say never.” He laced his fingers with hers and brought her hand to his mouth, brushing his lips across her knuckles.

  T
he gesture left a shiver of wanting that spread from her sensitive breasts to her limbs, finally settling in the one place she’d hoped to keep Jake out—her heart.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jake awoke with a start to the ashen haze of early morning. He rolled to his side and draped an arm around Molly’s slumbering form. She was facing away from him, so he indulged nuzzling behind her ear. He settled against her, enjoying the feel of her soft backside and wondered at the irony of it all. This was the second night he’d spent with her, and, once again, he’d behaved like a gentleman.

  It was very unlike him.

  He could have had her. He knew full well how to woo a woman—what to say, where to caress and inflame, how to make her feel special with just a look.

  And God knew he wanted her. For one frantic moment last night, he’d almost taken everything she offered and to hell with the consequences.

  But she’d wanted to keep their relationship a secret.

  Why the blazes did that bother him so much?

  He had reined in his desire, determined to prove to her that he was more than a scamp, as she’d called him at Lannigan’s party. And although they had ended up in his tent—despite that he’d pitched two—he’d restrained himself to the occasional kiss and simply snuggled with her to keep warm.

  His hand rested on her hip, and he envisioned removing her clothing, baring her to him, and loving her until neither of them could remember where they were. He pushed away and sat upright.

  It was too tempting to remain beside her.

  Jake jammed his boots on and left the tent.

  The sun wouldn’t be visible for a few hours since they were in a valley surrounded by high mountain peaks. He tended the horses and the mule, then started a fire and set a fresh pot of coffee to boil.

  Jake laid out his mining picks in various sizes, along with several shovels and a sledgehammer he’d acquired from a blacksmith, to decide which items to take with him. As he checked the sharpness of one of the picks, a muffled noise caught his attention. He cocked his head, expecting Molly to emerge from the tent, but was disappointed when she didn’t appear.