by S. E. Law
“Oh sweetheart,” I murmur, not even realizing I’m talking to myself.
Damn, I’m such a pathetic loser moping around in this hotel room like some dope. A woman like Missy deserves a man who’ll fight for her. Who’ll be strong for her even when she can’t be strong for herself. Who will utterly crush anything that gets in the way of her happiness, without mercy or hesitation.
I dress quickly. Something has to be done, and I have to make things right. I know my girl loves her mother, and wants to stand by her side. But this isn’t about Nancy, I remind myself. Nancy’s decision to break her engagement to my father is not part of this equation because it’s not about our parents’ happiness. Well, it is, sort of, but it takes second place. This is about my fight for Missy, and for a future together.
With my eyes fixed on the road, I make it to the luxury car dealership in record time. The showroom manager nods politely.
“Welcome back, sir. What did you think of the Maserati?” he asks.
“It’s a beautiful beast,” I say in a rush. “But I’m in a hurry. I need my Beamer.”
“Of course, sir. It’s ready to go,” he says, dropping the keys in my hand. “Come back for a test drive any time.”
Turning the keys in the ignition makes the car’s engine purr that throaty growl that means it’s working on all six cylinders. They might have fixed up this car even better than before. On any other day I’d be pleased about that, but right now, my mind can’t focus. This car is just my way to find Missy as quickly as possible, wherever she is.
I’m just about to pull out with a screech of rubber when a movement in the corner catches my eye. Slowly, I roll the window down.
“Hello, Trevor,” says my dad simply. “I figured I’d find you here. I didn’t want you to leave without saying goodbye.”
I sigh, resting my arm on the open window.
“I thought you wanted to be left alone,” I answer. “You know, just to cool off and such.”
Jim nods.
“I’ve cooled down now. Come on, unlock the door. I’ll take a ride with you.”
But that’s not what I want.
“Sorry, Dad, I’m on a solo mission right now,” is my reply. “I need to find Missy and talk to her. There are so many messed up things happening, and I just want to fix them, you know? Well at least, let her know my side of things.”
Jim nods slowly.
“I thought you’d say that,” he says before taking a deep breath and looking away for a moment. “Son, I don’t want you to blame yourself for what happened between me and Nancy last night, or even what happened between you and her daughter. I’m not saying that sex in someone else’s kitchen is okay, I’m just saying that my disagreements with my fiancée have been brewing for a while. It just happened to come to a head during that dinner, and you had nothing to do with that.”
I nod.
“Yeah, it kind of seemed you guys had some long-simmering tensions. I mean, I know she wanted a huge wedding that was going to cost a lot of money, and I know you weren’t really into that.”
“Well, my reasons were more complex than that,” says Jim reflectively. “But that’s between me and Nancy. Every couple’s entitled to a private life.” He looks at me pointedly. “Even you and Missy.”
Hearing that make me feel worse.
“Shit. I’ve totally screwed up. I mean, I just didn’t know, at first. We didn’t know that you guys were engaged when we met at that party, and things seemed to go into a weird twilight zone after that. That’s why I have to talk to her. We have to make sense of this, and I need her to know how I feel …”
“Then go, Son,” says my dad simply. “Tell Missy what’s on your mind. Your conversation is worthwhile, and just be honest with her. Remember, you can’t go wrong if you’re honest.”
I start up the car’s motor again. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Take care, son.”
I sit there for a moment as my dad strides off. It’s a short drive back to Missy’s house, but I’m not going to walk in her mother’s front door to fight off a screaming and crying Nancy. That woman was psycho, and I shouldn’t have to put up with that. Instead, I’ve got another plan in mind.
I do a quick search on my phone. This town is so small that it’s easy to find any kind of business. I zero in on the address I’m looking for, and pull up to the front door in a few minutes. The grand sign over the front door reads Century Estate Title & Mortgage.
“Can I help you?” says the receptionist as I stride inside.
“Hi, is Jane here?” I ask. “You know, a skinny girl with pink hair? Smart mouth?”
The receptionist doesn’t even blink an eye.
“She’s on her lunch break,” she says. “Would you like to make an appointment?”
“That’s all right, I’ll come back later,” I reply. “By the way, where’s a good place to get lunch around here?” I ask with an innocent look. The woman smiles.
“There’s a pizza place a few doors down,” she says, pointing in the right direction. “But if you’re vegan or have particular dietary restrictions, there’s this other spot that doesn’t use any meat, cheese, or gluten. It’s right down the street.” Wow, that sounds bad, but I nod and flash her a grin.
“I’ll get some regular pizza,” I tell the receptionist, even though it’s not the truth. “Thanks.”
Of course, I go straight to the vegan place. You can’t miss a café named Lovers & Madmen with a giant plaster avocado on the roof. The thing looks like it touched down from outerspace, and is perched precariously right above some diners’ heads. Go figure. I shake my head and look around. Sure enough, there’s Jane seated at a table outside. She’s chowing down on a huge burrito and slurping a berry smoothie that’s almost the same color as her hair. She’s concentrating so much on her book that she doesn’t notice when I take a seat across from her.
“Where’s Missy?” I demand.
She looks up and almost chokes on a bite of burrito. “Oh my god,” she says. “You? You know, I’m working right now.”
“You’re on lunch break,” I say flatly, looking pointedly at her burrito.
Jane makes a face at me. “Well, maybe Missy’s at home. Did you check there?”
I give her the eye.
“You know your friend’s not at home. Her mom is a raging bitch, and there’s no way Missy would have stayed there last night. Now. Where. Is. She?”
Jane sighs, rolling her eyes. “You don’t know?” I would punch this woman if it didn’t land me in jail.
“Know what?” I ask impatiently. Jane rolls her eyes again.
“She’s packing. Missy’s going back to school. That’s where she’s headed.” Jane puts her book down, and I notice she’s reading the Kama Sutra. Gross. I wouldn’t want to be in a pretzel position with her. “Missy’s so sad about what happened last night that when she woke up at my place today –”
“At your place?” A surge of disbelief rears up inside of me. “Is she hooking up with you now?” No way. It’s can’t be. My Missy is straight, and only wants men.
“God, no! What is it with you straight boys? You think bi people are hot and hungry for everyone they meet? No, if you must know, Missy came over heartbroken after running away last night. She feels terrible about what happened. It’s killing her that everything went down the way it did because she only wants her mom to be happy, you know.”
“So is that why she’s going back to school? To make Nancy happy?”
Jane rolls her eyes again.
“No! Because she’s lost and confused, dummy! The last time she saw you, you were racing away from the house like you were in a getaway car. And you didn’t call,” Jane scolds. “Come on, cowboy, you know you have to call after a fight like that. That’s like, Boyfriend 101. Even I know, and I don’t do relationships. Well, not really. Sort of.”
She’s right. I stand up from the table.
“Where is she now?”
Jane sighs.
&nbs
p; “At her mom’s house, but don’t go there. Nancy’s still pissed at you for ‘corrupting’ her little girl. She’s going to call the cops. And by the way, her mother doesn’t know she’s leaving for school yet. Missy just wants to get out of here asap, with as little drama as possible.”
I glower.
“Nancy has no say in this. And frankly, I don’t care about Nancy right now,” I say. “The only person I’m concerned about is Missy, and if she’s at Nancy’s house, then that’s where I’m going.”
I turn to go, but Jane grabs my arm.
“Wait,” she says. “Her flight isn’t until 10 pm tonight. I have a better idea. Why go to the bear’s lair when there are better meeting spots? Club Elegance is having another party tonight.”
I snort.
“You must be joking. You think I’m going to that party? Please, get real.”
Jane snorts herself, her petite nose wrinkling.
“Calm down, jeez, chill out. You’re going to pop that blood vessel in your forehead if you don’t relax. So listen, it’s not just Club Elegance. The organizers are trying something new tonight. They’re having a few events that are a little more casual for people who are still on the fence about joining a sex club. Why don’t you come by, and just stick to the vanilla room? The orgy is in the private room upstairs, but you don’t have to go. Downstairs is just cocktails and conversation in the bar with the rest of the patrons.”
“And you’re going to drag her there like you did that first time?” I say with a grim smile.
“Well, cowboy,” Jane winks, “aren’t you glad I did? I mean, you wouldn’t have met each other otherwise.”
Maybe this crazy girl is right. Instead of confronting a hysterical Nancy at home, maybe I have a better chance if we meet on neutral territory. I fix Jane with a look.
“Are you sure you can get her there?”
She smirks.
“I’ll make sure of it. I’m a paralegal, right? I’m good at dirty tricks. But not too dirty,” she quickly adds. “Missy is my bestie and I’d never hurt her. And if you hurt her,” she scowls, pointing a finger at her, “you know you’re going to be sorry for the rest of your life.”
I sigh. “The only thing I want,” I say very carefully, “is to make sure Missy is never unhappy a single day for the rest of her life.”
That gives Jane pause. She sits back and lets a wry smile spread across her face.
“You know, I kinda like you. I always knew Missy was a very special person,” she finally says. “And I knew someday some special man would see it, too. I’m happy today’s the day. I didn’t think you’d be the one, but who knows? Club Elegance is always full of surprises.”
Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes, and I stand up to leave.
“One more thing,” I ask. “Is Missy a diamond kind of girl?”
Jane arches one eyebrow at me. “Why? Is Mister Moneybags buying serious jewelry for my bestie?”
Man, this woman gets under my skin in a bad way, and makes me so frustrated.
“Well, if I am,” I say shortly, “wouldn’t you want to make sure she’s at that party tonight?”
I leave Jane sitting there with her mouth open in astonishment before climbing into my car and driving away. After all, I saw a jewelry store on my way here. Slowly, I drive to the location and park my car. It’s a small but quality store, with some very impressive stones sparkling in the front window. And why not? My motto is to always be prepared, and maybe if things go well, I’ll get what I want.
“I’d like to see the finest engagement rings you have,” I tell the saleswoman. She brings out an assortment of rings set in a velvet tray, and I examine the options closely. I’ve never bought a piece of jewelry like this before and I want it to be perfect.
My gaze lingers over a particularly dazzling ring in the center of the tray.
“It’s a princess cut diamond,” chirps the saleswoman. “A whopping four carats, and the setting is 24K gold.”
I hold the piece of jewelry with my fingers and watch the light glint over the bright faceted stone. I imagine what Missy’s face will look like when I snap that little velvet box open and reveal my hand. The only problem is, will she say yes? We’ve been through so much that unfortunately, I can’t be sure.
“I’ll take it,” I say, my heart pounding. After all, I have to try. If my heart gets broken, then it is what it is.
16
Missy
It’s so strange to be packing up the winter clothes I brought back from college while it’s still the middle of summer. Folding my sweaters and long undies in the middle of this sunny afternoon just reminds me of how cold Boston winters can be. I hope it’s still warm enough up north so that I can enjoy a few more weeks of sunshine. But given my luck, it’s probably going to be cold already. Ugh. Hate going North.
But I have to go back. With things the way they are, returning to Boston is my only solace. Only then, will I be able to get away from the mess my life’s become.
I won’t lie. My heart is broken. I break down and cry in the middle of nowhere, while doing random things like washing the dishes. I wonder where Trevor is, and what’s he doing. Given the incredibly complicated situation, I don’t expect to see him anymore. After all, he probably hates my guts. My mom dumped his dad, just like he’s dumping me.
Plus, Nancy’s in bad shape too. My mom is insanely upset about her breakup, even though she’s the one who instigated it. She hasn’t left her room since last night, although I hear muffled crying and some occasional banging. The whole house is like a critical care ward for the heartbroken. Nor does Nancy have any idea that I’m going back to school. I feel kind of bad about leaving her here, but I have to make a decision that’s best for me, and remaining in North Carolina is definitely a no go. I’ll call her and apologize once I get back to Boston. Things will be okay.
After all, I’m taking charge of the situation. If Trevor has decided it’s over, then it’s over. I’m a young woman and I have a full life ahead of me, right? At least, that’s what I remind myself. Unfortunately, the words sound kind of hollow, like I’m telling myself lies to stay afloat. Shit. Maybe I’ll start keeping a diary, so I can understand myself and all these experiences. One day, I’ll be an old lady and look back and laugh, or so I hope.
“Oh, shoot,” I mutter. My library books. I need to return them before I leave. I dig them out from under the bed and finger the worn spines. Well, at least I’m mostly packed, so that’s done. A trip to the library shouldn’t take too long.
I hide my packed suitcase under the bed and put the books in my backpack, along with my keys and phone. Before I go, I tiptoe by my mom’s room and knock gently on her door.
“Mom?” I say. “Can I come in?”
There’s no response, so I knock again.
“Mom?”
Hmm, still no response. I push the door open slightly. My mom’s sprawled on the mattress, but I’m pleasantly surprised to see she’s wearing clean clothes and has combed her hair. In the past, there were times where she never even got out of bed in the morning. She sniffles and looks up when she sees me.
“Hi, sweetheart,” she says, reaching out to me. “It’s good to see you. Come here.” She gives me a warm hug that I know is as much for me as it is for her. “We’re a funny pair today, aren’t we? You look a mess.”
I smile wryly. I tried to fix my hair and put on some make-up, but it didn’t really work. I look haggard and tired, and no amount of cosmetics can change that.
“Yeah it’s been tough,” I say. “I want to laugh but so far I’m still waiting for the punchline.”
Nancy sniffles again.
“Listen, honey,” she says, brushing her hair from my face, “You don’t have to worry about me, okay? I’m going to be fine no matter what. I just needed a good cry. But I wanted to let you know that I overreacted about your relationship with Trevor. Even if I don’t approve of the circumstances of how you met, it’s true that both of you are adults, and I
have to accept that my little girl is growing up.”
I nod with tears in my eyes.
“Thank you, Mom. And if I caused this breakup between you and Jim –”
“You didn’t,” she says quickly. “Kids always think they cause the divorce, and it’s never true. I realized that, even if I love Jim – which I do – we’re not ready to be married yet, or maybe ever. I was letting my wish for a perfect wedding overshadow the situation, but I see now we don’t have to rush things. We’re almost sixty after all,” she says on a rueful note.
“Oh good,” I say encouragingly, giving her hand a little squeeze. “I know he loves you and you love him, so there’s definitely hope, no matter the circumstances.”
Nancy squeezes my hand and smiles a little.
“Thanks honey. The good thing about being in your later years is that you realize nothing is black and white. I’ve been through the wringer a couple times now, and come out the other end a little bruised and battered, but still okay. So it’s going to work out this time as well. Don’t you worry about me, sweetheart. By the way,” she says, eyeing my bookbag, “are you going out?”
I nod.
“Yeah, but just to the library. I have some books I have to return.” I’m about to turn and go, when I stop. I don’t want to ditch my mom, not like this. Meeting her eye, I speak. “I want you to know I bought a plane ticket back to Boston because I can’t stay here. I need to clear my head after everything that happened, and it’s for the best anyways. Maybe a new environment will help me get things together a little faster.”
Nancy looks non-plussed.
“But where are you going to stay?” she sputters. “It’s the middle of summer.”
I assume a vague expression.
“I’m sure I can pick up an Airbnb somewhere. It’s okay, there are tons around Boston because it’s a big city. I’ve worked it all out. It’s okay, Mom,” I say. “I’m a big girl now.”