Unbaked Croakies: A Magical Cozy Mystery with Talking Animals (Enchanting Inquiries Book 1)

by Sam Cheever

  The puffy red coat she’d thrown on over the costume didn’t do much to make it more presentable.

  “I’m the KoA,” Alice said, her tone disinterested as she continued to peruse the taped-off area.

  The creature’s eyes flashed, turning even brighter than before, and she nodded. “I heard you were trying to stop Gnomish. I wanted to thank you. Somebody had to take them on.”

  Alice blinked in apparent surprise, “Oh. Well. It had to be done.”

  “Yes. And now I understand the cops are trying to pin Gido’s death on you?”

  “Unfortunately,” Alice agreed on an airy sigh.

  “I wanted to offer my help. If you need it.”

  Alice stared at the other woman for a moment, her beady eyes widening with recognition. “You live above the vapery.”

  “Yes. I’m Sebille.”

  “I know who you are!” Alice said a bit too loudly. Then she frowned. “You’re kind of large for a sprite, aren’t you?”

  The red-haired woman lowered her fiery brows in pique.

  Alice moved closer and lowered her voice. “I’ve heard about you. You’re not just any sprite. Your mother is the qu…”

  The woman turned abruptly away. “Please let me know if I can be of assistance.”

  “Wait!” Alice called out, halting the woman mid-step. “I could use your help right now if you wouldn’t mind.”

  Sebille turned sharply on her heel and stalked back to us. “What?”

  “Do you think you could make like a bug and check out that crime scene area for me? I’m trying to find the real killer, so the police will stop pestering me.”

  Sebille turned her startling gaze on me. It was a look that seemed to say, “And who are you?”

  I wiggled my fingers at her. “Hi. I’m Naida. Keeper to Be.”

  Her eyes went wide. “You’re in training?”

  “I am.” I bit my bottom lip to keep from making lots of excuses for my ineptitude. After all, I was pretty sure nobody knew about that but me, Alice, and maybe Detective Grym. Oh, and Lea. I sighed. “It’s been a very…active two days.”

  The green eyes flashed. To my surprise, she grinned. “You’ve been in training for two days and you’re already embroiled in a murder investigation?” She laughed as if I’d given her the best news she’d had all day. “What a gnish.”

  I frowned. “Hey!” I would have defended myself, but there was also the whole vortex thing. I was starting to think I was cursed. “Surely, it’s not normal for this Keeper gig to be so…interesting.” I told her.

  The air in front of me started to swirl and shimmer. A tiny, crabby face appeared out of nowhere, and I yelped in surprise. The rest of the small body materialized in a flash of light that had me taking several steps back until my calves bumped up against the yellow tape.

  The creature that had suddenly popped into existence in front of me was about four inches tall and had drab, brown wings that beat the air in an annoyed rhythm behind her. Her small head was covered in tight, dirty-blonde pin curls, and as she looked at me she arched a pair of very judgmental eyebrows. “Why did you call me?”

  Sebille rolled her eyes and reached out with a long, skinny finger. “Nobody called you, Shirley.” She poked the minuscule creature in the belly, causing her to grunt in outrage. The tiny wings beat the air with renewed violence. Shirley glared in my direction. “Don’t ever call me again!” Then she disappeared in another flash of light, leaving behind a wisp of sulfur-scented air.

  I gave the sprite a confused look.

  Sebille shrugged. “That was Shirley. She’s a pixie and she doesn’t like to be called.” As if that explained everything, Sebille transferred her attention to Alice. “What kinds of things are you looking for?”

  I barely listened to Alice’s response as I stared at the spot where the pixie had disappeared. Shirley? But I hadn’t called… Then I realized what I’d done and laughed, drawing a question in the form of an arched, fire-red eyebrow from Sebille.

  I just shook my head.

  “So, will you help?” Alice asked

  “I’ll help you,” the sprite said, looking directly at me.

  I realized she’d deliberately cut Alice out of that message and couldn’t help wondering why. She was clearly annoyed at the Keeper over something.

  Feeling the need to respond in some way, I gave her a nod. “Thanks.”

  The sprite popped away in a flash of light, leaving me squinting at the spot where she’d been. Fenwald leaped off the ground, smacking the air where a large bug hovered, wings loudly buzzing.

  The big cat missed it entirely.

  Great hunter my pale behind.

  I realized the bug was Sebille as she flew over the yellow tape, heading directly for the spot where the body appeared to have been.

  The sprite was about the size of a dragonfly, her wings a beautiful mix of iridescent purple and green that created a rainbow blur on the air as she buzzed back and forth over the spot on the ground. Then she stopped and hovered over the spot, a soft pink glow extending downward from her wingtips in an irregular shape that reached to the ground and hung there, throbbing softly in time with her wings.

  The Enchanted cop on the other side of the park suddenly flinched, straightening away from the playground structure where he’d been leaning, and starting forward. “Hey! What are you doing there?”

  The sprite shot straight into the air, the magic glow dissipating in a swirling wisp of energy that blew away on a soft breeze. She disappeared into the dense branches of a large tree, her light extinguished.

  I pictured her sitting on a branch like a tiny bird, obscured by the dense tangle of branches and leaves, and smiled. I’d give anything to have wings like that. To be able to just fly away when trouble threatened.

  “Come on.” Alice grabbed my arm and jerked me sideways, ripping me from my daydreams.

  I stumbled after her as the cop yelled something in our direction, my gaze sliding back to him. He was on his cell, and his expression was mutinous. He’d clearly connected the disruption of his crime scene with us, though I had no idea how.

  “What’s going on?” I asked Alice.

  She shook her head, risking a quick look at the cop. “Just hurry, will you?”

  Behind us, Fenwald loped heavily along the sidewalk, occasionally going vertical to smack at a passing bug and yowl his displeasure when he missed. Every third time he jumped, he smacked into my calves, his weight throwing me off enough to make me stumble. I turned to glare at him. “Stop that, you silly cat.”

  He narrowed his silvery-green gaze on me and yowled unrepentantly, his tattered tail snapping the air with insolence.

  When we’d gone two full blocks down the street, Alice finally slowed and turned to look back the way we’d come. Some of the tension left her face and she relaxed. “We can wait here.”

  “For what?” I asked, and then swiped at a large bug that buzzed past my ear. The bug hovered on the air a few feet away, hands on hips and tiny face filled with irritation.

  “Oh,” I said.

  Sebille popped back to full size and rolled her eyes. “Watch where you’re swinging that hand.”

  “Sorry.”

  “What did you discover?” Alice asked.

  “The magic signature has been expunged.”

  I had no idea what that meant, but whatever it was had Alice’s eyes going round. “Magically?”

  Sebille shrugged. “It appears so, yes.”

  Alice wrapped her arms around herself and stared at the cracked concrete under her feet. She seemed really upset by the news.

  “What does that mean?” I asked.

  Sebille’s lids twitched as if she were fighting off an eye-roll at my ignorance. But she must have decided to take pity on me and offer information instead of disdain. “It means a supernormal messed with it to hide the identity of the killer.”

  “What kind of supernormal could do that?” I asked.

  “A witch. A wizard.”
Alice slid her gaze thoughtfully toward me. “A sorcerer.”

  “Does Gnomish have a mage on staff?” Sebille asked.

  Alice’s gaze shot in her direction. “You think Gnomish killed him?”

  “I think we need to consider it. Whoever killed that gnome, it was professionally done.” She slid her glance along the street. “I doubt he was murdered by a baker, a shoe salesman...” She swung the hand toward a slim, dark-haired man leaving one of the storefronts. “Or a travel agent.”

  I didn’t know about those businesses, but I was pretty sure I knew a pair of flip flops that could have gotten the job done. I shook off that thought and the feelings of inadequacy it engendered. “Maybe Gnomish was mad at him for causing a scene in front of Croakies,” I said. “It sounds like they wanted to keep a low profile. Duking it out with Alice on the street wasn’t exactly conducive to impressing potential customers.”

  “Especially since I kicked his butt,” Alice agreed with a saucy grin.

  Sebille shrugged her shoulders. “There’s one more thing.”

  Alice and I fixed her with matching expectant stares.

  “The grass was long in that park, and it rained last night, so the weight of the body made a pretty good impression.”

  We waited for her to explain what that had to do with anything. She frowned, seeming uncomfortable with what she was about to tell us.

  “Yes, and…?” Alice nudged.

  “And that impression was nearly a perfect rectangle. No human-like rounded parts or bumps. There were some indentations in the middle, but the edges were almost completely straight.”

  “What does that mean?” I asked.

  Sebille shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine. But I’m going to take a wild guess here and say…” She took a deep breath. “Your dead guy was smashed into something rectangular, about thirty-three by twenty-something inches. And he stayed inside whatever it was long enough for his body to take its shape.”

  I looked at Alice and she looked back, speculation running deep behind her oversized glasses.

  I was pretty sure I knew exactly what rectangular thing poor Gido had been pressed into.

  And, from Alice’s sudden chalky pallor, I was pretty sure she did too.

  11

  Bad Day?

  Alice finally bought me those tacos she’d promised. Mostly because when she offered to pay the sprite back for her help, the cheeky red-haired woman all but demanded to be repaid in tacos.

  She and I formed a permanent bond at that moment.

  Alice seemed more annoyed by the request than pleased about getting off lightly. Which made me think she’d never intended to get me those tacos in the first place.

  She’d probably thought she could buy me off with a bowl of gruel, a.k.a. pale, tasteless beans, or another dental disaster from the pastry-ish family.

  Sebille and I were happily snarfing down our fourth taco each when the front door of Croakies opened and Grym the Grump walked inside, his handsome face set into a seemingly permanent scowl.

  The detective’s dark brows arched in surprise when he spotted the sprite. But he quickly recovered, turning to Alice. “I understand you tried to debauch my crime scene today.”

  Alice snorted out a laugh, spitting taco contents at Sebille and me. I took a tomato chunk to the nose, but the sprite had faster reflexes. Flinging up a protective napkin, Sebille handily blocked the cheese and lettuce mixture with her name on it. “We did no such thing, Detective,” Alice argued with a secret smile. “Unless standing on a sidewalk looking at a rectangle of smashed grass is now considered debauching.”

  He sighed, rubbing a hand over his weary face. “You and I both know your intent.”

  Alice’s smile widened. “You can’t arrest me for intent.”

  He nodded, surprising me. I’d thought the old boy had more fight in him than that. “Bad day?” I asked before I realized the words were going to escape my mouth.

  He sighed. “A long one.” He cast his gaze on the greasy bag of tacos in the center of the table. “You don’t have any of those to spare, do you?”

  Alice nodded and stood, picking up her trash. “Have a seat. Do you want some tea?”

  Sebille surged to her feet. “I’d be happy to make it.” The sprite sent me a pleading look. She must have heard how bad Alice’s tea and…well everything else she fixed…was.

  “That would be great,” I said, avoiding Alice’s gaze. “I’d love some too, Sebille.”

  “Brilliant,” Alice said, dropping into Sebille’s abandoned chair. “Any progress on the case?”

  Grym pulled the bag closer and retrieved a taco, carefully unwrapping it and adding two packets of sauce before answering. “Other than the odd condition of the corpse…” He eyed us. “Which, I’m guessing you already figured out since you sent the sprite over the scene to view it…”

  Yep, there was no moss growing on Detective Grym and Grouchy.

  “We know it was pressed into a rectangle that was about three feet by two feet,” Alice agreed, sending me a warning glance.

  It wasn’t necessary to warn me off elaborating. No good would come from EPD knowing the suitcase that had probably contained the corpse had been in the artifact library for the better part of a day before being liberated by magical means. “Have you ever seen anything like that before,” I asked him.

  He took his time chewing and swallowing. And then promptly took another bite, staring at me as he chewed.

  The message in his eyes was clear as a bell. He wasn’t going to tell.

  But that was okay because his unwillingness to answer my question was all the answer I needed. “Any idea who killed him?”

  Grym swallowed again, reaching for the bag.

  I slammed my hand down on it and his gaze met mine, locking on.

  I raised my brows.

  Apparently, he was really hungry because he opened those perfect lips and said, “We’re looking into the possibility that Gnomish had him taken out.”

  I was so surprised by his announcement I forgot to hold onto the bag, and he wrenched it away from me. I’d get nothing more from him until his next taco was gone.

  “We were thinking along the same lines,” Alice admitted.

  Grym’s gaze slid from mine. “Why?”

  She shrugged. “Probably the same reasons you were.”

  He swallowed. “Humor me.”

  Sebille set a cup of tea in front of the detective. “Gnomish runs a protection racket,” the sprite told him. “It’s a company of thugs.”

  “Go on,” he told her.

  She gave me a steaming cup that smelled wonderful. I inhaled deeply over the chipped china, my eyes closing in pleasure. The tea smelled like heaven. Or magic.

  “The scene with Alice in front of this place wasn’t good for their business. Gnomish would know this,” Sebille responded. “By killing Gido and dumping his body on the street, they send a message while removing any perceived weakness in their organization.”

  Grym swallowed and glanced at the taco bag before looking at me.

  “Go ahead,” I told him. I was too busy enjoying my tea to deprive him of sustenance. “This tea is so good,” I told the sprite. “What did you do to it?”

  Sebille shrugged. “Nothing.”

  Grym groaned in pleasure. “She’s right, you must have added something. Maybe just a titch of magic?”

  She shook her head. “Nothing. I’m tea talented.”

  “You definitely are,” Grym the Formerly Grumpy agreed.

  Alice sipped her tea and gave Sebille a thumbs up. “Have you talked to Gnomish yet?”

  Grym prepped his taco. “No. It’s too delicate.”

  “Delicate?” Sebille asked, her skinny form going rigid with anger. “What does that mean?”

  “It means the owner of the company is friends with the Mayor. It means the company is hands-off unless we can find indisputable evidence that they’re involved.”

  “But how are you going to do that
if you can’t investigate them?” I asked.

  “We can investigate, but we can’t approach them directly. And we have to be careful not to set off any alarm bells with our approach.”

  “Banshee boogers!” I said. “That’s crazy.”

  He nodded. “Welcome to the world of politics and cronyism.”

  “I say we go in,” Sebille said. She scraped a piece of lettuce off one tooth and sipped her tea, looking very relaxed in the chair. Like she wasn’t planning on leaving any time soon.

  I yawned. “In where?”

  “Gnomish,” she told me, about half disgusted with me for having to ask.

  “That’s a brilliant idea!” Alice agreed, her eyes lighting with interest behind her glasses.

  Oliver was sitting on her shoulder again, blinking blank eyes at us and working his tiny throat. Fenwald was in his favorite spot, draped along the wide sill beneath the front window, his tail hanging limply toward the ground.

  I couldn’t see anything in the glass except our reflection, but the big cat appeared to be watching something. “Do you mean sneak in?” I had no idea what we could possibly gain from such a scandalous act. I, for one, didn’t know how to begin looking for proof that they’d killed Gido.

  “Sure. Why not?” the sprite said. “I doubt they’ve even got decent security there. They’re used to being the big bad wolf in the neighborhood. It probably wouldn’t occur to them that they might need security”.

  Alice rubbed her hands together. “Let’s do it tonight.”

  I started shaking my head, but Sebille beat me to it. “Not tonight. We need to plan for this.”

  Alice’s face fell. “What’s to plan? We just need to get inside the building and find something that documents the hit on Gido. How hard could it be?”

  If I hadn’t been so tired, I would have laughed. “You think they just wrote it down on a piece of paper? Bad guy checklist: Scare innocents, check. Befriend the Mayor so we don’t get caught, check. Stuff Gido into a suitcase and dump his rectangular corpse in the park, check.”