by Erin Osborne
“Burger,” he replies, picking up the crayons and beginning to draw on his mat.
Vanessa orders for the kids and herself while I order for myself. As we wait for our food to get here, I sit back and take in the sights around us. Kids are running and screaming all over the place and I can feel a headache already brewing. I’m not sure how the hell Psycho manages to be here. He’s not one that likes a lot of chaos like this when it comes to kids. I’ll have to make sure to have a talk with him.
We’ve eaten our food, which surprisingly wasn’t that bad. The kids devoured theirs because Vanessa told them they couldn’t play anything if they didn’t eat dinner first. Now, we’re heading to play games and let them run around on the large jungle-gym thing for a little while before we head back home.
Tyler and Kayla want to do everything and aren’t sure what to do first as they continue to scan the area. It’s so cute because they don’t want to go in different directions either. The brother and sister want to play together and experience everything with one another. They have a bond you don’t usually see with kids their age. At least I’ve never seen it.
“How about we play some games to win tickets first. Then we can play and climb on that thing?” I ask, looking to Vanessa for confirmation as I get a ton of coins to play the games.
“Yay!” they both exclaim in unison.
We head to the row of games and let the kids choose which one they’ll play first. For the next two hours we play games with the kids and win a ton of tickets to exchange into prizes. Tyler and Kayla are in heaven as we walk over to the counter and choose what they want.
Each kid walks away with several small toys in their hands while we walk along behind them. One of the waitresses brings over two bags for us to store their toys in while they play. Once we have their shoes off and their toys placed in the bags, Tyler and Kayla are off. They climb and race through the maze of tunnels and slides. Each time one of them come down and see us sitting there watching them, they laugh hysterically.
“They’re having such a good time. Thank you for bringing us here,” Vanessa tells me, leaning into my side.
“I’m glad they like it here. Not so sure I do, but I’m willin’ to come back again for them,” I answer.
“They would like it,” she says, looking at me.
I nod my head and enjoy the moment with Vanessa. We never once take our eyes off the kids as they run out some of their energy. To see the lightness, laughter, and wonderment on their faces makes coming here all worth it. As with Vanessa, I’ll do everything in my power to ensure this is the life they become used to from now on. They’ll never cower in fear of doing something wrong or know what it’s like to be hungry because there’s not enough money to spend on them. They can have every fucking dime to my name as far as I’m concerned.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Vanessa
IT’S BEEN A few days since Grave took us out to dinner. I wasn’t too sure about it when he first said something, but I don’t have to hide anymore. Ray isn’t alive and my parents don’t know where I live anymore. The kids and I can go out and do as we please from now on without fear keeping me locked away inside the fence of the clubhouse.
Today, I’m taking the day off from the compound. I want to lay around the house with the kids and not go out. There’s no reason I can’t go to the compound other than I just want to stay home. It’s just a day for me and Grave understood. He’s only working half the day at the garage to help Bear and the guys get caught up on work. They’ve been behind because of the Prospects having to take extra shifts at the compound with Ray on the loose.
I feel horrible it caused one of their businesses to suffer a little bit because of my issues and the hell I brought here. It’s insane to realize how much they truly go through to protect the women at the compound. I’m honored to be a part of the program and know it’s there anytime I need to go. But, I don’t think I’ll be spending as much time there. Only when I have counselling or want to attend a class. And when the women want to have another session. It’s not like we have them planned out for every week and it’s only when the women can fit it into their schedule.
I’m lying on the couch, watching a movie with the kids, when there’s a knock at the door. I walk over and see Renegade standing on the other side of the door and I open it without hesitation. I’m curious as to why he’d be here when I’m almost positive Grave told him he’d be at the garage for a while again today. But, I’ll find out when he gets in here and decides to tell me.
“How are you today, Vanessa?” he asks, walking in the door.
“I’m okay. Just having a lazy day. How are you?” I ask back as we walk into the kitchen.
“I’ve been better.”
“Oh. Grave isn’t home yet. I can let him know you stopped by to talk if you want,” I tell him, shifting from one foot to the other.
“I’m here to talk to you actually,” he says, sitting down at the table.
I sit down across from him and wait for him to elaborate on what he means. I’m not sure if I did anything wrong or not, but I’ll find out in a minute.
“Psycho and I run the construction company, Johnson Construction. Our secretary is leavin’ and hasn’t given us enough time to find a replacement for her,” Renegade begins. “So, Psycho and I were wonderin’ if you wanna work for us. The money, jobs we take on, and everythin’ is legit. We’d make sure you get trained by one of us so you know what to do and what our expectations are, and you’d have full benefits.”
“Oh, um,” I start to say, thinking over his offer. “Well, yeah, I can do that. Where is it?”
“It’s just down the road, maybe five minutes or so,” he tells me. “Do you want to talk to Grave first?”
“No. I mean, yeah, I’ll talk to him about it. But, the only thing I have to worry about is who would watch the kids while I’m at work for you,” I answer him.
“You can still take the kids to the compound when Grave isn’t here. I think now that you’re goin’ to work, he’ll find more things to do away from the house,” Renegade tells me. “Not that it’s on you that he’s been stickin’ close to home. It was his choice to make sure you were okay and knew he’d be there for you. Grave’s nothin’ but a loyal guy and he needed to prove that to you in order to gain your trust. He knew that and did what he had to do.”
“Thank you, Renegade,” I tell him. “For the job and for telling me that.”
“Anytime. You don’t have to just talk to the ol’ ladies, Vanessa. Any man in this club will be here for you. All you gotta do is say the word and we’ll drop what we’re doin’ to come be a shoulder if you need one or help you out with somethin’,” he says, standing from his seat and heading for the door. “Have a good day. If you want to come by the shop tomorrow, we’ll get you all squared away with paperwork and show you around the place.”
“Okay. What time will you be there?” I ask him.
“I usually get in about seven so I can over the jobs for the day and figure out where the crews are needed,” he tells me.
“Okay. I’ll be there at the same time then,” I say, wanting Renegade to know I’m taking this job offer seriously.
Renegade nods his head in response as I shut the door behind him. Once I check the lock on the door, I make my way back to the living room with a smile on my face. Things are finally starting to fall into place in my life. Not only am I with Grave and we’ve taken our relationship to the next level, I’m finally coming out of my shell and know I don’t have to be scared of everything around me, and now I’ll have a job to earn my own money.
I’m not dumb. I know Grave isn’t going to let me help out with a lot of the bills and things like that. But, he’ll let me help out some because he knows it’s important to me. I need to feel as if I’m contributing to the relationship I have with him because it’s not something I’ve ever had in my past. That’s the reason he’ll accept money for me to help pay our bills. And he’s been letting me pay them
every month with his checking account too.
After getting the house, Grave added my name to his account. When I first saw the amount of money he had, I was shocked. I know the club does good and he said he had money because of being an officer in the club, but the amount is staggering and more money than I’ve ever seen one person have in my life. He didn’t laugh or make me feel stupid for the reaction I had. Instead, Grave ensured me the money was for both of us and it was to be used for anything the kids or I need or want. Yes, he made sure to include the ‘want’ in there too. Grave knows I won’t just buy things for the kids because they want them though, just like I won’t for myself either.
The kids and I are sitting down for lunch when I hear the front door unlock and open. I know Grave’s home because he told me earlier he should be home around lunch time. I’m practically jumping around in my seat as I wait for him to join us so I can talk to him about the job offer from Renegade.
“Hey guys! I’m home,” he says, walking into the kitchen and joining us at the table.
“How was your day?” I ask, turning my face up for a kiss.
“It was good. Busy. How about you guys?” he asks.
“I got a job offer from Renegade,” I tell him. “They’re losing their secretary at the construction company and he offered me the job. I’ve never had a real job like that before.”
“That’s great, Nessa,” he tells me, placing a hand on my thigh under the table and giving me a gentle squeeze.
“I’m going to meet him there at seven in the morning. Is there any way you can get the kids ready and drop them off at the compound for me?” I ask him, hoping he’ll be able to do this to help me.
“Of course I will,” he says, picking up his sandwich. “You don’t have to ask me that baby. I’ll do whatever I can to help you out with this. I know, even though you haven’t said anythin’, that workin’ is important to you and you were stressin’ about findin’ a job.”
“I was. You know I want to help pay for things. I don’t want you paying for everything for us,” I say, holding up a hand when he goes to object. “I know you’re not going to take a lot of money from me, but this is important to me too. I have to know I’m contributing or we’ll end up having problems later on.”
Grave nods his head before speaking. “I know this. You’ve never been given a chance to feel like you’re in a partnership with a man. I’ll do what I can, to a point, to ensure you have that with me. But, you have to understand there’s things I won’t be able to tell you about the club and the runs I go on. Just know I’ll always come home to you and you’re the only woman I want.”
“I know. Thank you, Grave. This means a lot to me.”
We finish our lunch before Grave goes to take his shower. He’s going to veg out with us for the rest of the day. After we’ve watched a few more movies, Grave and I make dinner together while the kids play with their toys. They wait patiently for us to put their plates together. I’ll tell them after dinner about me working and them spending time with Grave and the day care while I’m gone.
Tonight is going to be an early night for us as we finish up dinner and get ready to give the kids their baths. Grave and I bring them into our room for a minute so we can tell them about me working for Renegade and Psycho.
“Tyler, Kayla, mommy wants to talk to you,” I begin. “Tomorrow morning I’ll be going to work. Grave is going to get you guys ready so you can go play with your friends at the compound until I’m done with work.”
My kids sit on our bed and think about what I’ve told them. Usually, kids are used to their parents working outside the home, but mine are not. I’ve never had a job because I always had to be available for first my parents and then for Ray. Renegade giving me this chance is a real boost to my confidence level. Something I can’t get from Grave and something I truly need.
“Okay, mommy,” Kayla says, giving me a hug as she climbs in my lap.
Tyler follows his sister and I hug my children close to me. Grave wraps his arms around us and kisses the top of my head. I’m so thankful this man came into our lives and I’m not going to let him go no matter what. I fall in love with him more and more every single day and I’m scared to tell him the truth about how I feel. I don’t want to scare him away.
Grave and I put the kids to bed. We read them a story and tuck them in before heading back to our own room. After getting ready for bed, Grave makes sure I don’t get in my own head about starting the job tomorrow. He makes sure I’m thoroughly satisfied and warn out so I fall asleep quickly. It’s one of the best sleeps of my life. There’s no nightmares or demons chasing me as I sleep, not since Grave started sleeping in bed with me.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Grave
TODAY IS VANESSA’S first day working at the construction company. Renegade didn’t say a word about it to me when he stopped in at the garage and talked to Psycho yesterday either. Neither man did. I’m happy they see the potential in Vanessa and offered her the position. It’s important to her to make her own path in life. While I want to help her and stand by her side, it’s up to her to make her dreams come true and there’s only so much help she’ll take.
Vanessa is a very independent woman. I believe it’s because of the fact she had to do so much for herself at such a young age and was punished for not doing things right. Now, she’s not necessarily afraid to ask for help any longer, but she’s so used to doing things on her own she doesn’t think about asking anyone to help her out. I’m forcing her to lean on me when she needs to only so she gets used to it.
It’s what makes the decision I have even easier. I told Vanessa she was going to wear my ring on her finger so the entire world knows she’s taken. I’ll be by her side to ensure she has someone to lean on, help her, and show her not all men are the same. I’m going to be there for the good days, the bad days, and every single day in between. I want a front row seat as she grows stronger and figures out the woman she wants to be, truly wants to be.
So, I’ve pulled in the other ol’ ladies to help me with my plan. The kids don’t know anything about it because I’m not sure they can keep the secret and I don’t want Vanessa to know a thing about what I’m doing tonight.
Hadliegh is taking the kids for the night, I did check on that with Vanessa because I won’t do anything to upset her. And I know they haven’t ever spent a night without her. So, after they help me get everything ready for tonight, Hadliegh is taking Tyler and Kayla home with her. They’re excited to go hang out with the kids and Psycho.
They’re at the day care at the compound so Hadliegh and the ol’ ladies can help me get everything in the house perfect for tonight. I’m not cooking, I’ll be ordering in from this little Italian place Bear knows about. He’s taken Callie there and I know she loves it. Vanessa really likes Italian food so I’m hoping it’s the right choice.
Cassidy and Natasha are getting the bedroom ready while Hadliegh and Callie help me downstairs. We got flowers, candy, and now all I’m waiting on is the food to be brought over by Bishop. The table is perfectly set and now all I have to do is get the kids’ bags packed so I can jump in the shower after they leave.
The ol’ ladies even went with me to the jewelry store to make sure I didn’t fuck up picking out the ring for her. Somehow, and I don’t even want to ask, Hadliegh got her ring size so we don’t have to bring it back for adjustments later on. I picked out a ring with a platinum band. There’s a heart shaped amethyst in the middle. It has several small diamonds surrounding the heart and lining a part of the band. With the engagement ring is a matching wedding band. It fits perfectly together so I hope she really likes it. If not, I’ll get her anything else she wants.
The kids are gone, I’m showered and ready for Vanessa to be home. I’d like to say my nerves aren’t getting the best of me right now, but they are. This waiting is killing me and I wish she were here already. But, I know Vanessa is on her way home because Renegade sent me a message as soon as she left for the day.
She should be here in a few minutes.
On cue I hear the SUV pull up to the house and wait for her to get out. I grab the flowers off the table and have them in my hand as Vanessa walks through the door. She looks tired and ready for bed soon. Hopefully she can get through this dinner so I can ask her the question I’m dying to ask her.
“What’s going on, Grave?” she asks, taking the bouquet of wildflowers from my hand.
“We’re havin’ dinner,” I tell her.
“There’s more than dinner going on here,” she says as she sets the flowers on the counter in the vase already waiting for them.
“You’re right. But, it’s not time for you to find out just yet. It’s nothin’ bad though, so don’t worry,” I tell her, taking her hand and leading her to the table.
There’s candles already lit in the center and a bottle of water sits in front of each of our plates. I’ve never seen Vanessa drink anything other than water, milk, juice, or soda once in a while. So, I’m going with what I know right now. Even though Cassie told me to get a bottle of wine.
I uncover the plates before sitting down across from Vanessa.
“This is all so pretty,” she tells me, smiling at me before picking up her fork and taking a bite of the chicken parmigiana I got us for dinner.
“You like it?” I ask, running my sweaty hands down the thighs of my jeans.
“I really do. Thank you, Grave,” she says.
We eat and I ask her about the day she had at the construction company today. Apparently, the other secretary decided that since Vanessa was starting today she was going to leave. Instead of training my ol’ lady, she just took off and expected Nessa to pick up where she left off. Renegade spent most of the day with her to make sure everything was in order.
“I found so many discrepancies with paperwork and the way things were filed away,” Vanessa tells me. “Renegade wants me to go over everything and update all the systems and the filing cabinet. The woman, I don’t even know her name, just started shoving papers wherever and there’s no order. It’s going to take me a while to get things in order.”