I’d tried to force some peppy optimism into it, but Finn didn’t look convinced. I didn’t feel it either. I was nervous about living in a big city where I’d only know one person. I had an online support group and a sponsor that I knew I could count on regardless of where I lived, but that was different.
Being an addict made making new friends hard. When I did find friends, they often left me out of social activities that revolved around alcohol, which let’s face it, most did. I understood. People didn’t know what to do or not to do. For as common as addiction was, most people had never dealt with someone in recovery. They were clueless and tended toward being overly cautious and afraid of making a misstep. Or the opposite and a total asshole. Thankfully those were few and far between.
“Is the boyfriend into those things. Travel? Camping?”
“Oh, uh.”
“You don’t know?” Finn quirked an amused brow.
“I guess it hasn’t come up.”
“Well, in all the time you’ve been dating him...”
“Two and a half years,” I supplied.
“So, in that time has he taken you anywhere?”
“We fly back and forth to see one another.”
“That doesn’t count. What about camping?”
“We spent a weekend in a B&B in upstate New York.”
“Unless it was a rustic cabin where you had to help kill your food and cooked it over campfire, I don’t think that counts. Possibly not even then.”
The cute little cottage had been serene and beautiful, but rustic it was not. I snorted as I thought about Richard killing anything. He could probably start a fire though. Maybe. We’d buy one of those fire starter things, it’d be fine.
“Seriously, though, you’re moving across the country to be with the guy, you must have talked about the future or at least thought about what that looks like. Do you want the same things?”
“When did you turn into Dr. Phil?”
“Since my fiancée didn’t show up to our wedding.”
I winced.
“I’m not an expert and probably the last person who should give relationship advice. I guess it’s just easier to poke holes in other people’s relationships than see them in your own.”
Did that mean he saw holes in my relationship with Richard? I was too scared of the answer to ask.
After dinner I thanked Finn for the food and company and feigned a headache and went to my room. I called Richard even though I knew he was probably already in bed.
“Hello?” he answered, his gruff voice sounded more asleep than awake.
“Hi. I’m sorry for waking you.”
“It’s okay. What time is it?”
“Just after eight my time.”
“How was your day?”
“Good. Yours?”
“Long, we got some of the executive offices finished. I’m excited for you to see it. What time does your flight get in on Friday?”
“Just after seven in the morning. I’m on the red eye.”
“Great. We can meet up for lunch afterward. Your interview is three blocks away just past that pizza place we ate at the last time you were here.”
“Have you ever gone camping?”
He was slow to respond, maybe because he was tired or maybe he was thrown by the random topic change.
“Yeah. My buddies and I used to camp over July Fourth every summer.”
“Really?” I smiled.
“Been, gosh, five or six years since we’ve gone.”
“Why’d you stop?”
“Everyone got busy, settled down, had kids.”
“We should go camping sometime.”
“Sure.” He yawned, not sounding all that excited, but I didn’t care. Richard was a camper. That had to be a sign.
“I should let you get to sleep.”
“Alright. I’m excited to see you.”
“Two more sleeps.”
He yawned again. “One and a half.”
Adele
Bobbi pulled a piece of paper off the printer and then slapped it down on my desk. “Why does technology hate me?”
I glanced down at the paper. She’d tried to print a report formatted in landscape, but the settings were in portrait resulting in half the sheet being cut off.
I laughed, tossed it in the garbage and pulled up the documents from our internal shared drive and printed it correctly.
“What will I do without you?”
“It’s only one day. You’ll manage.”
“For now, but they’d be crazy not to hire you. And if they don’t, someone else will swoop you up fast.”
I had mixed emotions about the whole thing. Equally wanting to find a job quickly but not wanting to leave.
“Do you want to grab dinner after work?”
“Oh, I…”
I don’t know what compelled me to look up at that moment, but my eyes went to the entrance and the man that filled it.
“What is it?” Bobbi asked and turned so she could see what I was staring at.
I was vaguely aware of her sharp intake of breath and of the sudden attention his presence was attracting from everyone in the office as he slowly walked toward me.
“Hey,” he said when he reached me.
“Hey.” I sat there stunned. Finn in my office was as unexpected as a rabid racoon. Also, decidedly just as distracting.
Bobbi cleared her throat. I still gawked without speaking another syllable until Finn took it upon himself to do the introductions.
“I’m Finn,” he said as he extended a hand.
“Bobbi.” There were practically hearts in her eyes.
He took it all in stride, smiling genuinely at her and letting her grip his hand longer than was polite. When she finally let go, he looked back to me and trained that genuine smile my direction. Was Finn capable of faking anything? He was always just so… himself. Or maybe that’s just what I wanted to believe to make the past week of our slow building friendship seem more real.
“What are you doing here?”
“I had to take the opportunity to see where you work.” He glanced around. “Pretty nice.”
“Do you want a tour?” I asked, feeling lame about the whole thing but having no clue what to do with him standing in front of me.
“I don’t want to interrupt, I just wanted to see what time you get off.”
I shook my head, still completely rattled that he was here in my freaking office. I was suddenly glad I would be out of the office tomorrow. Maybe my three-day weekend would give the office rumor mill a chance to find something else to talk about.
Who was I kidding? They’d be talking about Finn until an equally famous or hot guy walked into the office. So basically forever.
“Adele?” Finn’s smile fell slightly while I stared at him in confusion.
“Sorry. What did you say?”
“I asked what time you got off work?”
Harry must have noticed the change in atmosphere because he came out of his office, straightening his tie, and plastered on the welcoming smile he reserved for prospective clients.
“Hi, Harry Beecham. How can we help you?”
“Actually, I’m a friend of Adele’s. Thought I’d stop by and see what time she got off work.”
“Oh.” Harry looked to me in surprise.
“Harry, this is Finn McCash.”
Harry had no idea who Finn was and he’d be humiliated later, but I figured if Finn wanted him to know more than his name, he’d offer it up.
“Pleasure.” Harry extended his hand and Finn took it.
“Likewise.”
Harry stepped back and placed both hands on his hips. “You two must go way back. Did you go to school together in Australia?”
“Not quite that far back, but it feels like forever.” Finn’s gaze locked on me as he said it. His tone was teasing, but it made my stomach flip anyway. God, he could put on the charm when he wanted.
“You should take off. Go catch up,” Harry
said. “We’ve got it covered.” He checked with Bobbi who nodded and then waved me off. “Go.”
I wavered for only a few seconds. I never left early, but I’d already made sure everything was covered for tomorrow and it was after four. It wasn’t likely something urgent would come up between now and close.
Finn looked to me so hopefully and I had to admit I was curious what he had up his sleeve. I grabbed my purse, said the quickest of goodbyes to Bobbi, and then followed Finn out of the building. It felt a little like skipping class with my high school boyfriend.
Neither of us spoke until we reached our cars. He’d parked his right next to mine.
“I have a surprise for you.”
“What?”
“For a girl craving adventure, you don’t seem to be much on surprises.”
My stomach twisted with the truth of that.
When I didn’t move, Finn laughed and then said, “Get in the truck. Make Bear Grylls and me proud.”
I didn’t immediately piece it together. He’d driven us through the start of rush hour traffic to LA and pulled into a big building that looked a little like a gym. Big windows that I couldn’t see through, but I could tell it was at least two stories by how far up they extended.
“Boulders,” I said the name quietly. I turned to Finn. “Oh my God, is this a climbing gym?”
“Yep.” He raised both eyebrows. “Come on.”
I followed a step behind as he entered the gym. He waltzed in like he owned the place. Straight past the front desk, a wave and hello to the guy standing there and right to the middle of the place. It wasn’t until I was standing still that I let my gaze turn to take it all in. The place was incredible.
“What do you think?” Finn asked.
“It’s amazing. Are we climbing?”
His charming smile grew twice it’s normal size. “If you want.”
I nodded. “I want.”
I so, so wanted.
The next half hour was a blur. A woman named Theresa got me in gear. Finn insisted on buying me leggings and a tank top and I rented shoes since I’d been wearing a dress and heels when we arrived. One minor detail he’d overlooked in the plan.
“This place is huge,” I told Finn when Theresa went to grab a waiver for me to sign. “There aren’t as many people as I expected though.”
“It’s by appointment only throughout the week. They do a lot of classes – climbing and bouldering. On the weekends it’s open to the public and it gets pretty crazy in here.”
Logistically I knew it had just worked out so that we were here on a weekday instead of a weekend. I’d be in New York and he’d be moved into his new place by then, but somehow the fact he’d arranged it in this more private setup made me appreciate the gesture even more.
How had I gone from patching his broken heart to him, filling the cracks in my life I hadn’t known existed? I was actually going to be sad when he moved out and we went back to our separate lives. I’d have to mull that over later.
“Ready?” Finn asked, after I’d signed a couple forms. He held out his hand.
I slipped my sweaty palm into his and he squeezed reassuringly.
“Are we going at the same time?”
Walking, he swung our hands playfully between us. “Yep. I want to see you in action.”
I felt the blush creep up my chest and heat my face.
It was harder than I expected. My arms were weak which shouldn’t have come as a surprise since the last time I’d tried to do a pull up was probably in junior high. Finn was annoyingly good. He made it look effortless, somehow moving up the wall and coaching me at the same time.
“Almost there,” he said.
I looked up and then down which was a mistake. My stomach dropped and I swayed. I over corrected and clung to the wall frozen in fear.
“Hey, you’re alright.” Finn’s voice soothed. He’d moved like lightning so that he was right beside me. “Breathe.”
“This was a bad idea. I want to go back down.”
“No way, you’re incredible. Look how close you are to the top. Errr… actually don’t. Just take my word for it.” His long fingers brushed against my back in what was probably supposed to be a comforting gesture, but instead had me panicking for a completely different reason. “We’ll do it together, okay? Slow and steady.”
I nodded and let out a shaky breath.
Miraculously, I managed to move by listening to Finn’s voice and concentrating on one hold at a time. When I realized it was the top, I couldn’t believe it. I felt rejuvenated like I’d climbed the side of the tallest mountain Bear Grylls style. Holy crap, I actually did it.
“Yeah, you did,” Finn said, making me realize I’d spoken that last thought. He looked so proud and I felt like a star student eager for his praise.
“Now what?” I didn’t know if my arms could handle it, but I wanted to try again.
“We go back down and try it for real.”
“For real?” I squeaked.
We moved from what Finn referred to as the training or beginner wall to a slightly harder area. The holds were smaller in some places and farther apart. Somehow, though, I still managed to make it to the top.
My arms were toast after that and I went to change. When I came out of the locker room, Finn was talking to a group of employees noted by their matching gym shirts. With his back to me I was able to observe without him noticing.
Finn in his element was hot. Not that it should have been surprising. He was tall, built but lean. He was handsome but also had an edge that made fantasies of him more Zac Efron Baywatch then Zac Efron High School Musical.
It wasn’t his appearance that made my stomach flip though. It was the way people were drawn to him. The easy way it was to be around him. I’d thought that my desire to help him was about mending his broken heart, but now I wondered if it was the way my heart yearned to be near him that had all but forced him into my life instead.
It didn’t make sense. I was happy with Richard. We had a good life and everything about him was perfect for me. And yet I didn’t know if I’d ever had the same butterflies in my stomach for him as I did for Finn right now.
But I also knew my crush on Finn was totally one sided. I think that’s why I’d always felt safe about letting him into my life. Somewhere deep down maybe I always knew I was going to fall for him. Maybe I had from that first night he stumbled in reeking of alcohol.
Maybe he was all wrong for me, absolutely I was wrong for him, so I needed to stop obsessing about the flutters or teenage hormones he seemed to bring out in me and just enjoy our last night. We’d part as friends, I’d go to New York and in a month, I’d look back on the two weeks with Finn as an interesting blip in my calm, routine life.
Adele
“That was incredible,” I said two hours later still smiling. I lifted the takeaway bag and groaned. “I’m a total weakling though.”
Finn took the bags from me. “I got it.”
I followed him into the house on Jell-O legs, arms hanging limply at my sides. “Thank you so much for that.”
“Just my way of repaying the favor for letting me crash at your place for the past two weeks. Hermosa Beach was just what I needed.”
“It was good for me too.”
He shot me a surprised look after setting everything on the kitchen counter. “Taught you patience and what to do with wedding gifts if your fiancée doesn’t show?”
“That too.”
His lips pulled up into a half smile.
“No, it reminded me of how strong I am. I think I’ve been afraid to try new things and get out of my comfort zone, afraid it would send me spiraling back into a life I’ve worked so hard to leave behind. Thank you for reminding me that I’m capable of more.”
“I think you’re giving me too much credit, but you’re welcome.” He lifted my to-go box we’d grabbed from the Mexican takeaway counter on the way back. “Dinner and TV?”
“Oh, uh.” I glanced at the time. I s
till had a few hours before I needed to leave for my flight, but I was a nervous traveler. I needed to triple check everything and leave with more time than necessary to park and get through security. My adventurous spirit didn’t include a desire to run through the airport to catch my flight. “I should probably shower and finish packing, and I promised Richard I’d call.”
Richard’s name hung in the air between us – or maybe I was imagining it.
“Go ahead. I won’t be long.”
I disappeared into my room and sat on my bed trying to make sense of everything. I could hear Finn in the kitchen pulling plates and silverware for our food, but I stayed there replaying the past two weeks. Was it a betrayal to Richard if I admitted I enjoyed spending time with Finn? That I was going to miss him?
The fact that I felt guilty about it spoke volumes.
I’d used calling Richard as an out, but I decided it’s exactly what I needed. I needed to hear his voice, to remind myself how perfect he and I were together, and to tell him I’d spent the evening with Finn. Telling him not only felt necessary, it felt like absolving myself from the totally one-sided feelings that had crept in.
Inside my house, I could remember Finn was a friend in need that I was helping, but outside of it, just the two of us, we’d just been Adele and Finn and now I couldn’t unsee that version of us.
“Hello?” Richard answered speaking up but wherever he was – it was loud, and the background noise nearly drowned him out.
“Hey,” I spoke up. “Where are you?”
“I’m at dinner. We’re just being led to our table now. Can I call you later?”
“Yeah, of course. Finn and I were just about to have dinner too.”
“Great. Call ya later, babe.”
“Bye,” I said, but he ended the call before I’d finished responding.
So much for reassurances. I’d have to do that for myself. I straightened my shoulders and stood. Finn and I were just friends and I was being ridiculous. We were having a last dinner together before we’d likely never see one another again. It was funny really. Was I actually worried about something happening between me and Finn freaking McCash?
Jilted Jock : A Hero Club Novel Page 10