The Hunger

by Melissa Haag

  “Even after being here for four years, it’s still disturbing to hear how different our reality is. Growing up in the human world, I was programmed to the social norm that we’re children until we hit eighteen years.”

  “Yeah, humans are weird, though. Adults can’t even drink alcohol or buy cigarettes until three years after reaching adulthood, yet in some of their states, human children can marry years prior to adulthood with the consent of their parents. As if there’s some kind of magical age when human children can make smart choices for themselves. But, humans and the children of the gods are the same in that aspect. We’ll all make dumb choices until the day we die. Life is about living and learning.”

  I grinned.

  “I never thought of it like that.”

  Jenna jumped when her phone buzzed, and she gave me a sheepish look.

  “It doesn’t do that very often,” she admitted as she looked at the screen. She frowned and slid the device toward me so I could read.

  Mr. Grr & Purr: Is she in the house with you or did she have Mrs. Quill portal you somewhere again?

  “Is that Fenris?” I asked.

  Jenna flushed. “Yeah. Sorry. That’s our pet name for him. You know, he makes you want to growl and purr at the same time.”

  “So pet names are a werewolf thing?”

  “Aren’t they an everybody thing?”

  I thought of all the pet names Mom, Dad, and Mrs. Quill had for me and conceded her point.

  “If I contact Raiden to tell him that Fenris is here, like I’m supposed to do, whoever is watching the place will start looking for him, which will also tip Fenris off that we’re in here.”

  “And they probably won’t find him before he figures out a way to sneak in.”

  “Exactly.”

  Mr. Grr & Purr: You’re taking too long to answer, which means you’re either trying to think up a clever lie or you’re calling my dad. I vote you go with option C and just tell me the truth.

  Mr. Grr & Purr: I’ll make it worth your time. First string runner.

  “What does ‘first string runner’ mean?” I asked.

  “When these pack gatherings get big, and I mean really big, the alphas don’t send us into the woods all at once. It gets too chaotic, and fights tend to break out. So they send us out in waves. A first string runner means that I’d be in the first group to go out.”

  “And that’s good?”

  She grinned at me.

  “Yeah. That means more chasing and running.”

  “Right. You love being chased.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Do you want to tell him? I know you’re nervous about the run, and I can text Mrs. Quill to come get me really quick.”

  Jenna gave me an are-you-serious look.

  “I’m not trading time with you for extra time in the woods. So we better figure out what to tell him or he’ll be sneaking in through your window like he did mine.”

  I gave her a small smile.

  “I’m open for suggestions.”

  She took her phone and entered a new message, showing it to me before sending it.

  Jenna: Fenris, I’m saying this with love. You need to stop. Even if you’re too far gone to realize that what you’re feeling is nothing but her succubus sexiness, you’re not the kind of person to completely disregard someone else’s feelings. You’re upsetting her with your persistence. Give her some space. Okay?

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “Any time.”

  I took another bite of my cake, letting the chocolate flavor soothe me. While Dad had made an incredible dessert, it was nothing like the real thing. Nothing like Fenris. I struggled with the knowledge that I’d been feeding on him for so long. No, that wasn’t my struggle. I’d already accepted that part. The part I still fought was the knowledge that he was the best meal I’d ever had in my entire life, and I had to walk away from that. From him.

  My hunger stirred in response, worrying me. What if Fenris finally did get the hint and left me alone, but I didn’t have the same strength?

  Jenna’s phone buzzed, and we read the message.

  Mr. Grr & Purr: Remind Eliana about our talk in the car about secrets. I told her I was keeping some. She learned one and is freaking out. I need to tell her the rest of them so the one she knows makes sense.

  Mr. Grr & Purr: Tell her how I was last night.

  I looked at Jenna. “What does he mean?”

  “He wasn’t himself. He was impatient. Agitated.” She sighed and gave me an apologetic look. “Desperate.”

  I groaned, pushed my plate away, and let my head thump down onto the table.

  “This is so messed up. Why me?” I lifted my gaze to hers. “Megan says he was only hugging her and Oanen because they were hugging me. So why me? What about me drew him in before I ever fed from him? I can’t think back to one specific moment and say, ‘There. That’s why.’”

  Jenna gave me a pitying look. “I guess that’s only something that Fenris knows.”

  She typed out another quick message.

  Jenna: I’ll tell her. In exchange, you need to go home. Your Dad is making everyone miserable.

  Mr. Grr & Purr: I’ll go home when Eliana stops ignoring me.

  I grabbed my phone.

  Me: This is me not ignoring you. Keep your word. Go home. You’re making my head want to explode.

  Fenris: I’m going. When you’re done hiding and ready to face the truth, call me.

  I read the message twice, trying to tell myself that he wasn’t angry.

  “You know he’s not thinking straight right now. He doesn’t mean it the way it sounds,” Jenna said.

  Except, I felt sure he did. Hadn’t he been telling me to stop running for weeks? To face my problems? But now that I knew he’d been obsessing over me well before he’d started telling me all his words of wisdom, I couldn’t help but wonder why? What exactly had he hoped to accomplish with all of his coaxing?

  Thanks to Megan telling me about the hugs, I was even more lost and confused now than before.

  My scent must have tipped Jenna off regarding what I was feeling because she reached out to pat my shoulder.

  “Hey, it’s okay. I promise things will get better,” she said.

  I wrinkled my nose.

  “In my experience, it doesn’t. It’s just one, long slippery slope into hell.”

  She opened her mouth to deny that, but her phone buzzed again. We both looked down at the message.

  Willow: Aubrey is coming home for the mate run.

  Jenna groaned, and I hated that I’d been right. Things were far from getting better for either of us.

  “Our lives might seem like hell,” Jenna said. “But it’s Fenris who’s truly in hell right now. Everyone is looking for him, and bringing Aubrey home proves that Raiden won’t stop until Fenris is mated.” She shook her head and stood. “I better go. There’s a lot I need to do before Aubrey’s back, controlling our lives.”

  “You’re welcome to hang out with me any time you need to hide.”

  She smiled her thanks and left quietly.

  Fenris’s continued silence and the resulting guilt still weighed on me heavily by the time Mom and Dad woke up again.

  “Baby, where’s Jenna?” Mom asked, joining me on the couch.

  “She had to leave. Aubrey’s coming back for a pack run.”

  Mom’s brows rose in surprise. She knew, thanks to long calls with me, that Aubrey had been sent away for eating human flesh. However the pack reformed their own, I doubted she’d been at it long enough.

  “Well, that’s interesting. I wonder why.”

  “Because Raiden is just as desperate to break Fenris’s obsession as I am. But I don’t think it’s going to work.”

  “Why not?”

  I wrinkled my nose to stop the tears that wanted to form.

  “Megan told me something that leads me to believe he was obsessing over me long before I fed from him. I just wish I knew why. Maybe then, Raiden c
ould actually help Fenris instead of having a pack of females chase his son until he collapses.”

  “Have you asked him?”

  I looked at Mom in confusion.

  “Ask Fenris when he started to feel things for you. He’ll tell you the truth.”

  I exhaled heavily, hating that she was right and dreading what it would mean.

  “You’re smart, Eliana, and you like to do things your way. So find a way to help your friend.”

  She kissed my cheek then went to check what Dad was making them for breakfast.

  While they were distracted, I sent the message that would likely make things a lot worse before it made them better.

  Me: Fine. I’ll meet you. Where and when?

  Chapter Eight

  My phone rang, and I answered it with a weak hello.

  “Is this another trick?” Fenris asked, his tone far from playful.

  “No. You’re right. You have answers, and we need to talk. Just tell me where.”

  “Where is a little limited to us. For some reason, the pack seems to know all my good hiding spots now.”

  “Fenris, I’m sorry. I told your dad that you were using the cabin. But I only told Jenna about the hot springs.”

  “I don’t want ‘sorry,’ Eliana. I want you to wake up and stop hiding from everything.”

  “I know. I’m—” I blew out a breath. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “You will. Can you meet me at your car in ten minutes?”

  “Probably.”

  “No tricks this time, Eliana.”

  “None. I promise.”

  Instead of ending the call with his usual playful farewell, the line went dead.

  “That didn’t sound like it went well,” Mom said from behind me.

  I stood and shook my head.

  “It didn’t. He’s mad.”

  “Hmm. That doesn’t sound like a man enthralled, does it?”

  I frowned and thought about it for a moment. I’d seen Mom’s lovers go through many phases. Grief, anger, longing, desperation. But those emotions were always when they were apart from her. As soon as they were with her, or in Dad’s case, even talking to her on the phone, they were completely devoted again. That meant that Fenris was acting differently, which made this all the more confusing.

  “No, it doesn’t sound like he’s enthralled.”

  Mom smiled at me. “You’ll figure out what’s going on with him. And when you do, you’ll be able to breathe easier and find a way to help him.”

  “Thanks. Can Dad give me a ride into town?”

  Ten minutes later, I arrived at my car like I’d promised.

  “Do you want me to wait until you start it?” Dad asked as I opened the door. “I don’t want you to have to walk anywhere if there’s any trouble.”

  I glanced down at the pink slippers I wore before surveying Ashlyn’s vacant yard.

  “Sure. But I’m going to let the engine warm up a bit before I take off, so you can go as soon as it’s started.” I gave him a quick hug then hurried to my car, unsure what to think since Fenris wasn’t there yet. Maybe someone had spotted him. How ironic would that be if I finally agreed to talk to him and he wouldn’t be able to talk to me?

  The cold from the seat robbed my legs of heat the moment I sat, and I hurried to start the engine. In my mirror, I saw Dad wave and returned the gesture as I blocked all the vents from blowing more cold air at me.

  My phone started to ring. I saw it was Fenris and checked my mirrors, but Dad was already gone.

  Confused, I answered.

  “I’m here,” I said.

  “I can see that. Drive to the end of the road and turn left. Park by the trees.” He hung up on me again.

  As much as I wanted answers, I wasn’t looking forward to this meeting.

  Tossing the phone aside, I backed out of Ashlyn’s driveway. It wasn’t until I was pulling away from her house that I noticed the wolf on the roof of Ashlyn’s garage. Fenris’s brief and cryptic call suddenly made more sense.

  Watching my mirrors for any sign of the wolf’s movement, I followed Fenris’s directions and drove around the block to the house lined with trees. The moment I parked, my phone rang.

  “Move over to the passenger seat. I’m driving.”

  “You could be a little nicer,” I said, annoyed.

  “I tried that. It didn’t work.”

  He hung up on me once more.

  Gritting my teeth, I climbed over the center console and told myself not to be angry with him. Fenris had every right to be upset with me. After all, I had lied to him about meeting with him the day before and had sent Jenna in my place.

  I’d barely settled into the passenger seat when the driver’s side door opened. Fenris got in, wearing nothing but a pair of jeans. He looked so good.

  “Buckle up.” He immediately put the car into gear and started driving.

  I hurried to buckle and tried not to stare at all of the skin he had on display. It wasn’t easy with the scent of his lust clouding the air. I closed my eyes, fighting the urge to inhale his rich, sweet energy. My hunger twisted inside of me, but I forced it down, telling myself I was fine. I’d just fed, not that long ago. I didn’t need to feed again.

  After a few shallow, calming breaths, I opened my eyes, feeling more in control. Fenris, however, was far from it. He gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white, and I could sense his frustration.

  “Fenris, I’m—”

  “Don’t,” he said with warning.

  My temper flared.

  “I’m trying, Fenris. But it’s hard when I don’t know what you want from me.”

  “What I want, all I’ve ever wanted, was for you to finally see who you are. Who are you, Eliana?”

  I frowned at him, trying to understand what he meant.

  “I’m me.”

  His frustration notched higher, which only compounded mine.

  “Fenris, I know that my reaction to—”

  “We’re not having that conversation in this car.”

  I crossed my arms at his abrupt, angry tone. I didn’t like this version of Fenris. Not at all.

  “Can I have the old Fenris back? You’re being difficult and not acting like yourself, which is why I wanted to give us a few days before we had the talk that you now don’t want to have.”

  “I’m not the one being difficult. This is me frustrated as hell, Eliana, because you’ve been avoiding me while everyone else in Uttira has been trying to hunt me down.” His grip on the wheel tightened further. “And when we talk, it’s not going to be with me behind the wheel and only half my attention focused on the road.”

  “Okay.”

  He shot me a side glance.

  “Okay?”

  “Okay, I understand your frustration and agree that having a serious conversation while you’re upset and driving isn’t in either of our best interests. But, being confrontational isn’t going to help the conversation, either, once we get to wherever we’re going.”

  “We’re going to the hot springs.”

  “You just said that everyone is out looking for you. Is it smart to go to the places they know?”

  “I asked Jenna if she told anyone about the springs, and she said she hasn’t. Unless you have another idea, I’m out of places where we can have an uninterrupted, private conversation.”

  When the car turned onto the road leading to the hot springs, I kept my doubts to myself. While I understood we didn’t have many options, I’d also seen the wolves Raiden had out searching for his son.

  “Do you think your dad still has people searching for Ashlyn?” I asked.

  Fenris released a long breath.

  “Probably not. But hopefully, we’ll be able to straighten all of that out today.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “A little more patience, rabbit.”

  The kindness in his tone and ebb in his frustration surprised me, and I glanced at his hands. He wasn’t grippin
g the steering wheel nearly as tight as he had a minute ago.

  “We’re almost there.”

  The swell in his lust hit me hard. It was everything I could do to keep my breathing even as my vision sharpened.

  “Can you take it down a notch?” I asked.

  “Eliana, you already know you’ve been feeding on me. Take what you need.”

  A shiver raced through me at hearing those words from his lips, and my hunger responded. To stop myself from trailing my fingers over his deliciously bare chest, I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the seat.

  He knew why I couldn’t feed on him. But I guessed, after weeks of being fed on, he probably did see himself immune from the effects. After all, who knew how long he’d actually been under my thrall? He’d probably been oblivious to the slow change in his behavior. I obviously had been.

  “Chicken,” he said softly.

  “I thought I was a rabbit.”

  He chuckled, the sound adding to my torment.

  Thankfully, I didn’t need to suffer long. The car slowed, and I could feel Fenris begin to pull over. My hand drifted to the handle.

  “Don’t, Eliana. You’re wearing slippers, and running from me won’t help the situation.”

  “I need air,” I said as the car jerked to a stop.

  Despite his warning, I flew out the door. Inhaling deeply, I stumbled a few steps away from the car and fought for control over the hunger churning inside of me. Focused on the dark desperation to consume everything that was Fenris, I didn’t realize that he’d left the car, too, until he appeared in front of me. Instead of colliding face first into his chest, I was scooped up into his arms, and he started running.

  The wind carried the scent of his lust away, not that it mattered. Without a shirt and a jacket to separate us, I felt every inch of him and leaned in to inhale. His warm skin heated my fingers, and he trembled beneath my touch.

  “Eat, Eliana. I want you focused and ready to talk when we reach the caves.”

  His words acted like a slap to bring me out of my stupor, and I jerked away from his hold.

  “Put me down.”

  “No.” His hold on me tightened. “Feed.”

  The thin hold on my control snapped under the weight of my temper. He wasn’t supposed to be like the rest, telling me where and when to feed. He was supposed to be kind and caring. He was supposed to be on my side.