To Burn In Brutal Rapture

by Nyla K

  Traci’s eyes fill with tears, and when she blinks, they tumble down her cheeks.

  “It all makes so much sense now…” she gasps, large, round eyes shining at my face. “You… and him… And then me.”

  I gulp down my shame, watching her closely. “I don’t have evidence of anything, but -”

  “I’ve never not believed anything you’ve told me, Lazarus,” she speaks steadily. I nod. I’ve never lied to her. “And he loved you so much… It was obvious.”

  Her hands run down my shoulders onto my chest. I peek at them, then my eyes return to hers and my forehead lines. She’s not reacting the way I thought she would at all.

  Call me crazy, but she seems… Awestruck.

  “Lazarus,” she rasps my name, and it registers in my groin. “Do you finally see who you are? What you’re capable of?”

  I wouldn’t be able to answer that if I tried. Luckily, she speaks again before I need to.

  “You are so beautifully, tragically hypnotizing.”

  You’re not a curse… You’re a storm.

  My heart, that previously broken and decayed thing in my chest, pumps hard; aggressive. I feel the fresh blood rushing through it, bringing it - bringing me - back to life.

  “I’m sorry,” I croak to her, this stunning, strong woman. My free bird. “I’m so fucking sorry, Tracien… For everything. For everything I’ve ever done to you. For ignoring you all those months after my wedding night. For disappearing on you, every time. For not noticing when you needed me.” My voice snaps and I’m about to crumble, when her palm presses down hard over my heart, holding it in place; keeping it beating. “I’m sorry for not telling you that I’ve loved you for a while now.”

  She whimpers and drops her forehead to mine, crying quietly over my lips. I take her beautiful face in my hands.

  “Don’t cry, baby,” I kiss the words across her cheek, tasting her tears. “I’m sorry.”

  “You love me?” Her voice trembles with her lips.

  I nod fast. “Yes. Yes, I do. A lot.”

  A small giggle erupts, and it brings a smile to my mouth so unfamiliar it’s like I’m dreaming.

  “I love you, too. So much,” she breathes, latching herself to me, fingers threading in my hair. “I know you probably know that, but I never got to say it to you. I’ve loved you since I was just a girl, Lazarus Weston. I love everything about you. I love your scars, your pain, your… destruction. I love your broken.”

  “Baby,” I grunt, breathlessly, not waiting one more second before I’m pressing my mouth to hers and kissing her rough.

  She lets out a mewl between my lips, succumbing to the feelings we’ve been denied for so many months, panting and sucking and tasting. We move gradually to treasure this feeling; this love, so damn unexpected and beautiful, I can barely breathe through it.

  I’m giving her all I have to offer… Myself. It doesn’t seem like much to me, but to Traci I know it’s everything. And that fills me with a pure, unbridled need to love and cherish this girl for as long as I’m breathing, and even after. In whatever afterlife there is, I can’t ever let her go.

  I’m not letting go.

  She grinds into me until I recline, holding her face while she kisses me with fervor, the same way she did on my wedding day. The memory brings a tremor to my cock, hands running down to her tits, these perfectly perky tits I’ve been missing for so long.

  Her hips rock on my erection through my pants while she purrs in my mouth, eager and swimming with love and lust, mixed together like a scrumptious concoction. Her soft body in my arms, breath warming my lips, sweet little tongue tracing mine… The smell of honeysuckle and gardenia creating a heady rush inside me, shooting through my system like dopamine.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” Breathlessly, my thumb circles the peak of her nipple through the sheer top she’s wearing. “With everything we just talked about? It was a lot, Trix.”

  She sucks my bottom lip until I grunt. “I missed you calling me that.”

  I have to chuckle. “I thought you hated that nickname.”

  “I don’t hate anything about you, or the things you say.” She lifts my t-shirt over my head. “Lazarus, you’re right. There’s a lot that’s been thrown at me, but can you just let me be in love? Because that’s what I am. I’m in so much fucking love with you.”

  She stops kissing me long enough for us to gaze at each other, the ends of our noses practically touching. My hands never want to stop touching her, sliding down her waist to hold her in place on top of me.

  “I’m in love, too…” My voice shakes, and I don’t try to hide it.

  “Are you?” She licks my lip, and I grin.

  “Yes. I’ve never been in love like this before.” My fingers tug casually at the fabric of her panties.

  “Me either,” she drops a kiss on my lips, then makes a trail over my chin, my jaw, throat, and onto my chest.

  “I can’t believe we’re here,” I ramble mindlessly, emotions unleashed, all the things I’ve never felt or experienced before suddenly available to me. It’s overwhelming, but again, I like it.

  I love overwhelming with Tracien.

  “Promise me it’s not a dream.” She licks the lines of my chest before going for my nipple.

  I gasp as my eyelids droop, grasping the material of her shirt and yanking it over her head. Her bare tits on my abs make my cock flinch.

  “This is so real right now.” My fingers glide over her skin.

  Traci peeks up at me with a grin and I have no choice but to return it. I haven’t smiled like this in months. It’s spellbinding.

  She tugs my pants down, with my boxers, then shimmies out of her panties and before she can do anything else, I pin her on her back and crawl over her, gripping her thigh in my hand to wrap her leg around my waist.

  “I missed you, Little Trick,” I rasp, grinding my length along her soaking wet slit while she coats me in arousal. “So fucking bad, baby.”

  “You have no idea how badly I’ve missed you, Lazarus,” she tells me with her hands everywhere, on my chest and abs, my hips, my ass.

  God, I missed those hands on me.

  “I need… inside… please…”

  I can barely form sentences as my heart pounds in my chest, hauling through heavy breaths of anticipation. I’ve been going out of my mind for this girl for so long; just going out of my mind in general. I haven’t so much as touched myself in all the many months since that last time we were together in her apartment. And with everything that happened…

  I’m especially wound up. Hopefully, I don’t bust in two seconds.

  “I’m desperate for this huge, perfect dick, baby,” her voice is hoarse as she curls her fist around my shaft and I hum. “I fucked up, Lazarus. I got birth control, but I never took it. There was too much going on…”

  “Fuck,” I pant in her mouth, kissing her soft lips, sucking and biting them like an animal. “It’s okay. I’ll pull out. I think…” My brain clouds as she aims the head of my cock into her wet warmth. “No, I will. I can. God, baby, you’re so wet.”

  “I feel like I could come already,” she whines, and I chuckle-moan, then lick her lower lip.

  “Wait for me, Little Trick,” I plead with a thrust.

  Stuffing my inches between her walls feels like I’m home. I’m back where I belong once again. I’m falling…

  “I love you,” the words tumble from my mouth as I drive all the way in her until I’m at the hilt. Balls fucking deep in the tightest, warmest most perfect pussy every created.

  For me. She was made for me.

  “Jesus, Lazarus, I’m gonna come,” she squeals, before I even move. Her walls squeeze me like a fist and I quiver.

  Just the feeling of her insides gripping me, and the fact that she’s saying she might come already, has my balls seizing up. I pull back a bit and stroke in again, palming her breast, leaning in to lick and suck that sweet nipple, like a piece of candy with my name on it.

&nb
sp; “You’re all mine, Trix,” I smirk on her beautiful tits. “I’ll give you as many orgasms as you can stand for as long as you want them.”

  She moans out loud, scratching my shoulders and back. “Oh my God, I’m really… no seriously… I’m gonna… fuck!”

  I pump in her leisurely, amazed at what’s happening under me right now. She’s crumbling, coming apart. Coming in my arms after literally one minute inside her.

  This is incredible.

  “God, you are beautiful,” I breathe, cherishing her trembling body, running my lips everywhere while she orgasms, all for me.

  Traci melts into a puddle beneath me, and I stop moving, allowing her to savor the bliss she’s feeling. It’s an extraordinarily gorgeous thing to witness. I can barely comprehend how blessed I am.

  God, where did this come from? Wasn’t I miserable an hour ago?

  Gazing down at her face, I’m shocked and seriously considering that this could very well be a dream. It feels so different from any other happiness I’ve experienced before.

  For once, it’s not laced with outlining pain or sadness. It’s just good, and it doesn’t make sense.

  “Oh my God! I’m such a loser!” Traci squeaks, tugging me out of my thoughts as she covers her blushed face with her hands.

  “What are you talking about?” I chuckle, yanking her hands away so I can look at her.

  “I came in one second!” Her voice creaks, and I laugh harder.

  “Baby, that’s only embarrassing for guys.” I kiss her jaw. “Do you know how insanely hot it is that I made you come in like thirty seconds? I feel like the man right now, just saying.”

  She giggles, inner walls clenching on my cock, which is still rock hard and buried inside her sweet young pussy.

  “You’re my man,” she sighs, then her brows pinch together. “Right?”

  I nod emphatically. “Yes. I’m yours.”

  “Holy fuck, I’m gonna come again,” she murmurs, and now I can’t stop giggling, like a damn schoolgirl.

  What is happening right now?!

  “Mmm… You want more, Little Trick?” Nestling my face into the crook of her neck, I lick the hallow of her slightly sticky skin. My hips move slowly, rocking into her juicy pussy. “I’m so fucking hungry for you.”

  “Work that big dick in me, Lazarus,” she mewls and I groan, because… Fuck.

  “Take my cock, Trix… It missed you so bad.”

  She gasps and lifts her legs, wrapping them around my waist as I push and pull, fucking her deep; so deep my pelvis slaps into hers over and over and over.

  My brain is scrambled and I’m seeing shooting stars behind my eyes every time I close them. I’m damn desperate to erupt inside her; to drain every last drop in her beautiful body and solidify that she’ll be mine for fucking ever. But I know I can’t do that. As fantastic as it would feel, we need to pull-and-pray until she gets on birth control.

  I’m so glad I’m back with her. I can’t even believe this.

  She’s here. She loves me, and she’s fucking here.

  She’s all I have.

  I can’t lose her… ever.

  All these thoughts have me shaking with the need to chain her to me and never let her go. I know it’s probably the opposite of healthy, but I’ve lost so much…

  Traci Wright is mine, and she’s the only thing I have left.

  “I’m not letting you go, Tracien,” I kiss the words all over her flesh while I buck into her, again and again until the bed is creaking and I’m two seconds from falling apart at the seams.

  “I never want to go,” she cries, marking my back with her nails, sending an ache to my balls.

  “Fuck fuck fuck I’m gonna… come…”

  Against all the wickedness inside me, I manage to pull my cock out of her, milking it in my fist with her natural lubrication until the orgasm descends and my head drops.

  “Yessss… Traci,” I growl her name, watching the streams of cum pulsing out all over her tits and throat, soaking my hand and everything in the general vicinity with fucking months of backed-up release.

  I can barely breathe. It feels like my balls just exploded. It sort of hurts.

  My hair hangs in my eyes and I try to shake it away, catching my breath as I gape down at my sweet Little Trick, with glistening cum all over her neck.

  Guess I aimed high…

  “Jesus… Pearl necklace much,” I cough, curling up on her stomach, minding my weight so I don’t crush her.

  Traci bites her lip to cover a grin, brushing my hair away from my forehead. “What’s a pearl necklace?” Her eyes twinkle as she swipes a finger through my cum on her throat. “This?”

  I drop my chin, eyeing her with fascination. She’s so young and so inexperienced. But it doesn’t scare me anymore. Now I love it. I want to do every single dirty, depraved thing in the world with her, if she’ll let me.

  Slipping the finger into her mouth, she swirls her tongue around it, to which my mouth falls open. Who is this girl…?

  “I’m so fucking yours, Tracien.” I go to her like a pet when she pulls me by my jaw to kiss her sweet lips. She smiles on my mouth, thrusting her tongue inside, giving me my flavor back until my cock flinches between us.

  “Mmm… mine,” she mumbles possessively.

  “Yours.” Taking my dick in my fist, I guide it back inside her until she squeals. “Come again for me, baby. Come on your man’s cock.”

  I pump into her hard, slipping a hand between us to circle her clit with my thumb. It takes all of ten seconds before she’s squeezing her thighs around me, yanking my hair and screaming my name.

  Lazarus.

  It sounds as perfect as it was ever meant to leaving her lips.

  After several minutes of correcting our breathing, touching, and kissing the words I love you all over each other, she somehow ends up on top of me, resting her head on my chest, right above my heart while I play with her hair and watch her curious fingers, tracing lines of ink all over my body.

  “What are you thinking?” I ask, because I need to know.

  “I’m praying,” she answers with certainty, though her voice is quiet.

  I grin. “So you do really worship my cock then…”

  She lifts her head and squints at me, pinching my nipple as a punishment. But my dick flinches and I shiver, to which she rolls her eyes. “Oh right, I forgot. You’re a freak.” I laugh out loud and she giggles, eyes sparkling with pride at making it happen. “I’m being serious, Lazarus. I was saying a prayer, because I can’t believe I have you right now. And I’m scared something is going to take you away from me. I have to thank God for this. I have to.”

  My smile falls away and my head cocks to the right. “Traci, I’m not something you should thank God for. I’m a fucking disaster. You haven’t exactly won the lottery with me.”

  Her hand covers my mouth to stop me. “I don’t need to win the lottery. I need you.” I blink at her. “I know exactly how fucked up you are, Lazarus. And guess what? I love you anyway. You know how fucked up I am, and you fell in love with me… We’re meant to be together, and not just in spite of our flaws, but because of them. We’re two broken pieces that fit together perfectly. Can you see that now?”

  Even more fresh blood pumps into my heart as I nod. I kiss her palm and she smiles, this shy, adorable thing, removing her hand from my mouth.

  “I see,” my voice rumbles up to her. “I finally see.”

  And she whispers, “Thank God.”

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  Traci

  Lazarus has been sleeping for hours.

  It’s wonderful. He was obviously exhausted and needed to finally get some damn rest.

  But not me. I’ve been up the whole time, just watching him. Gazing over every perfect inch of surface that makes him up and wondering how on Earth I could possibly have him right now. And not just for secret sex, or forbidden desire. This time I really have him.

  He’s in love with me.

  M
y toes curl at the thought. He said it, so many times. He’s not lying, I know he isn’t. Lazarus Weston doesn’t lie to me, because he’s never had a reason to.

  He loves me, and he’s here, finally.

  His words from last night flash. That confession… About him and my dad.

  It brings a warmth to my chest I haven’t felt since before Dad died; a comfort that returned a few hours ago, when Lazarus told me about them. My heart beat through every word, every subtle change to his facial expressions that showed me more than just what he was speaking.

  Maybe some people would find it damaging, or creepy, or just plain bizarre to hear that their father had once been romantically involved with their potential boyfriend. But not me.

  It opened my eyes.

  Objectively, I could never be mad about something like that, because I have no right. Lazarus was Dad’s before he was ever mine, and they shared something special and different from what the outside world saw. I think it’s beautiful. And it just proves how significant this man has always been in our lives.

  Lazarus is every bit his namesake; the poor, twisted soul who had the power, the love, within him worthy of being raised from death. When I look at him now, I see a complex immortal, bred from brutal rapture. He’s been more than just a regular man, for all of us…

  Me. My mom.

  And to my dad.

  What this means is that I need to lay down my own life to keep him. I can’t risk losing him, and I have to do whatever it takes to hold him close for the rest of my days. I can’t ever let Lazarus Weston go.

  Because when you fall in love with a god, you chain yourself to it. It’s just what you do.

  As healing and fantastic as last night - this morning - was, I know we still have a long way to go. Lazarus is hurting, and so am I. We’re still so broken, and coming together healed us a bit. But we’re jagged and crippled from all the pain, him more than me.

  I want to find a way to help him put his past to rest. Sure, he says he’s already done so, but I think my father’s death brought a lot of his childhood shit back to the surface. I want to help him burn it down, so he can rise.