Rearview Mirror

by B L Clark

  “The same way I’m going to survive you not being here,” Nicole said softly as she entered the room, seeing Amber jump. “I didn’t mean to scare you, eavesdrop, or interrupt.”

  “It’s okay.” Amber pulled Nicole onto her lap. “I was just talking to Mom. I feel so close to her in here.”

  “You were probably the most thought about person in this room, so feeling close to her here makes sense. We’ll get through this time apart. We’ll talk on the phone, video chat, text, email, whatever we have to.”

  “I know, it’s just going to be hard.”

  “You just need to remember that I love you,” Nicole said.

  “I love you, too.” Amber pulled Nicole closer. “Jill’s going to be here soon, isn’t she?”

  “Yeah, she is,” Nicole said softly.

  Amber looked around the room again before she and Nicole went to make sure they had all of Amber’s stuff packed. Amber was surprised that she was still going to be able to get away with not checking any bags. She hated going to baggage claim after a flight. They were always so crowded, and everyone was pushing and shoving because they were in a hurry to get out of there.

  While they were waiting for Jill to arrive, Nicole and Amber curled up on the couch and held each other.

  Jill pulled up to Nicole’s house and took a deep breath before exiting her car. As she walked toward the front door, she looked in the window and caught a glimpse of Nicole and Amber lying together on the couch.

  Jill rang the doorbell and was prepared to wait for them to answer. She was surprised when Nicole opened the door a few seconds later. Nicole’s eyes were red-rimmed. She knew Nicole had been crying. When Jill followed Nicole into the living room, she saw Amber, whose eyes also showed signs of crying.

  “I’d ask how you two were doing, but the red-rimmed eyes give that away.” Jill sat on the chair while Nicole and Amber sat close together, their bodies touching to give them both comfort.

  “We need to leave, don’t we?” Nicole asked.

  “Yeah, I’m sorry to say, but we do need to get going,” Jill said.

  The three women got into Jill’s Jeep. Nicole and Amber sat in the back so they could hold on to the last bit of time together. Jill couldn’t tell who this was hurting more, but she hoped they weren’t going to suffer mental breakdowns.

  When they arrived at the airport, Jill took Amber’s two bags and walked ahead of them. Nicole took Amber’s hand, and they made their way to security where they were going to have to say goodbye.

  “I love you, Nicole.” Amber wrapped her arms around her neck.

  “I love you, too.” Nicole wrapped her arms around Amber’s waist. “Text me when you land and call me tonight before you go to bed. I don’t think I can handle not hearing your voice.”

  “The moment I can text from the plane, I will, and I’m going to need to hear your voice, too, before I go to bed. It’s going to feel weird going to sleep without you holding me or me holding you.”

  “Weirder for me since we’ve been sharing my bed. I do, however, get to smell you on the pillow. I hope it lasts for three weeks.” Nicole pulled back to look Amber in the eyes.

  As the two kissed, Jill heard a guy catcall and whistle. Jill pulled her badge out and offered to give him a place to stay for the night. The guy laughed until his friend pointed out to him that it was a sheriff’s badge. The man apologized and moved on. Neither Nicole nor Amber had heard or were aware of the exchange. They were lost in their kiss.

  After they broke from the kiss, Amber hugged Jill and told her to take care of Nicole while they were apart. Jill promised she would.

  Amber hugged Nicole again and then pulled out her ID to go through security.

  “Remember, you promised to text me and call me,” Nicole said.

  “You’re going to be on my mind the whole time. I won’t forget.”

  Jill and Nicole watched as Amber went through security. They waved as she turned and headed toward the gate. Jill took Nicole out to where they could watch the plane take off.

  Amber slowly walked to the gate, her heart aching. She was trying hard not to cry. It wasn’t long after Amber made it to the gate that they called her flight. As Amber sat and watched the plane taxi out, she thought she saw Nicole and Jill watching. She pressed her hand to the window.

  I love you, Nicole. I will see you soon, Amber thought.

  I love you, Amber. You’re my soul mate. I can’t wait to see you again, Nicole thought as she watched the plane taxi and take off.

  Jill drove back to Nicole’s house. Nicole hadn’t said much since Amber had passed through security.

  “Are you going to be okay? Do you want me to stick around for a while?” Jill asked as they pulled into Nicole’s driveway.

  “Thanks, but I just want to be alone for a while,” Nicole said.

  “I’m worried about you.”

  “I’m sad. I miss her already. I just need time to process. The love of my life returned and was here, in my house, in my arms, and now she’s gone again.”

  “But you’re going to see her again…in three weeks even,” Jill said.

  “That’s the reason I’m still functioning. If I knew I wasn’t going to see her again or if it was going to be longer, you’d be taking me to the hospital psych ward,” Nicole said with a small laugh. “I just need some time to get my emotions under control. If I can’t control things, I’ll let you guys know.”

  “All right, but let me know when you hear from Amber. I want to make sure she gets back to New York all right.” Jill hugged Nicole.

  Nicole nodded and got out of the car and went inside. She went right to the lanai and curled up where she and Amber had spent so much time.

  Amber rested her head on the window as the plane took off. The man sitting next to her slept and occasionally snorted in his sleep.

  “Are you all right, ma’am?” the female flight attendant asked as she made her walk through the cabin. She had noticed Amber’s head hung and the sorrow in her eyes when she boarded the plane.

  “Yeah,” Amber said. “I just had to leave someone I love deeply.”

  “I’m sorry. If you need anything, please, let me know.”

  “Thank you.” Amber smiled at the woman.

  As the flight descended into New York, Amber felt some of the heartache ease. She felt safe here. She didn’t have the lingering memories to torture and torment her.

  The plane landed, and Amber sent Nicole a text that she was in New York and she would call her later. Nicole replied that she was glad she made it safely and she looked forward to Amber’s call.

  The flight attendant helped Amber get her bag from the upper compartment and helped her get off the plane without her arm being bumped. Amber again thanked the woman and walked up the ramp to the terminal. As Amber reached the main part of the airport, she saw Zach standing there. She hurried to him and leaned into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

  “I know it hurts, but she’ll be here in a few weeks,” Zach said as he held Amber until she was ready to go to the car.

  Zach drove Amber back to her place. They rode mostly in silence.

  “Thanks for picking me up,” Amber said as they pulled up outside her brownstone.

  “Of course. I know it hurts now, but it will get better.” Zach gently squeezed Amber’s hand.

  “I know, I just need to get settled and call Nicole. It’ll be easier then.”

  Zach nodded and helped Amber get her stuff upstairs. He told her to call if she needed anything; otherwise, he would be over in the morning to get her for work. She tried to tell him he didn’t need to, but he was having nothing to do with it.

  Amber was just about to call Nicole when she heard a knock at the door. She made her way over and looked through the peephole and saw it was her neighbor.

  “Mrs. Phelps, hello,” Amber said.

  “Amber, hi. I heard someone moving around on the stairs earlier, and I wasn’t sure if it was you or not. Are you all righ
t?” the woman asked as she noticed the sling.

  “I will be. I’m sorry I was gone so long. I know you and Mr. Phelps were looking after my plants. Thank you so much.”

  “You know you’re like a daughter to us. Was your trip successful?”

  “More than I ever imagined,” Amber said as a smile crept across her face.

  “Maybe we can sit down and talk this week. I’d love to hear about it.”

  “I can’t wait to tell you about it.”

  “If you need anything, dear, just let us know.” The older woman hugged Amber and headed back down the stairs.

  Amber closed the door and went back to the couch to call Nicole.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Daily Living

  Nicole jumped when the phone rang. She looked at the caller ID and smiled when she saw it was Amber.

  “Hey, gorgeous.”

  “Hi, love,” Amber said. “How are you doing?”

  “I miss you,” Nicole admitted. “How was your flight?”

  “I miss you, too. The flight was long. I missed you the whole way. I still do. Zach met me at the airport, and after I got home, Mrs. Phelps, my landlady, came up to check on me.”

  “That was sweet of her. What are you doing right now?”

  “I’m curled up on the couch, looking at a picture of you and me. What are you doing?”

  “I’m out on the lanai. It reminds me of you, plus your scent is still on a couple of the pillows.” Nicole hugged one of the pillows close to her.

  “I miss the lanai. Do you have to work tomorrow?” Amber tried to get on to a subject that hurt less.

  “Yeah, I have a couple of meetings. I also think Jill and Erik will be watching me like a hawk, so I’m sure lunch and dinner are taken.” Nicole laughed. “What does your day look like?”

  “It’ll be busy, so I don’t dwell on the fact that you aren’t here.”

  “This will be a long three weeks, won’t it?”

  “Very long. I love you, Nicole.”

  “I love you, too, Amber.”

  They discussed what Amber thought her dinner with Jessie would be like. Amber explained that she would get a lecture for not advising her that she was going to Eagle Peak and that she was injured while she was there before she called to cancel their dinner plans. Nicole told Amber that she could call her, and she would help her get through the dinner. Amber said she’d keep that in mind. They both yawned, having been up all night making love and trying to maximize their time together. They said their good nights and I love yous before hanging up and going to bed.

  Morning arrived, and Amber got up and saw a text from Nicole.

  Nicole: I love you! Have a great day. Know you will be in my thoughts all day.

  Amber: I love you, too! You will be in my heart and thoughts all day.

  Nicole: Message me if you get time.

  Amber: I will. You message me, too.

  Amber showered and got dressed for work. She was just about to make breakfast when she heard a knock at the door. When she opened it, she saw Zach standing there holding coffee and doughnuts.

  “Good morning.” Zach smiled as he entered the apartment.

  “Good morning.” Amber followed him to the breakfast bar.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Physically or mentally?”

  “Both.”

  “Physically, I’m a little stiff. Mentally, I miss her. I think it’s harder than it was the first time being away from her.”

  “It’ll get better, I promise.” Zach put a hand on Amber’s shoulder.

  “I just have to survive three weeks. Then she’ll be here.”

  The two ate and drank their coffee. When they were done, Zach drove them to work. It wasn’t often that he used his car, but today, he thought it would be easier. It was a smoother ride for Amber, and they were going to need it for getting to Jessie’s office where they were meeting before dinner.

  When they arrived at work, Amber was told to clock in and go up to Lucinda’s office. When she got to Lucinda’s office, her secretary announced her, and she went in.

  “Amber, it’s good to have you back,” Lucinda said as Amber entered.

  “It’s good and hard to be back.” Amber smiled, taking a seat across from Lucinda.

  “I can imagine. If you need anything to make it easier for you to work, just let me know.”

  “I will. And thank you again for being so understanding and accommodating while I was gone.”

  “You’ve been a valued member of our team for ten years, and you’ll be one of our featured artists. I don’t want to keep you from work. I just wanted to welcome you back and make sure you were all right.”

  “Thank you again,” Amber said and headed downstairs to work.

  Nicole got up and made some coffee and texted with Amber before she had to shower and get ready for her first meeting. As Nicole was getting out of the shower, she heard her phone beep. Nicole saw she had a text from Jill that she and Erik were bringing breakfast and would be there shortly.

  Just as Nicole was getting downstairs, she heard a knock on the door. She answered and saw Jill and Erik standing there.

  “Hey, guys,” Nicole greeted as they entered, and everyone went into the kitchen.

  “How are you doing, Nic?” Erik asked.

  “I miss her, but I’m okay. We texted a bit earlier.”

  “Text or sext?” Jill waggled her eyebrows.

  “Text. Like I would tell you the other.” Nicole rolled her eyes.

  “So, what do you have planned for today?” Erik asked.

  “I have a couple of meetings and some coding to do. I also have to start planning for my trip to see Amber.”

  “That’s three weeks away,” Jill said.

  “No, it’s less than three weeks, and I’m going to be gone for a while, so I need to get stuff lined up around here, as well.”

  “I’ll come to water your fake plants,” Erik offered.

  “Great.” Nicole laughed. “I actually want you two to look in on the house and stuff.”

  “That’s a given,” Jill said.

  “I have to get to work. Call or text if you need anything today,” Erik got up and hugged Nicole.

  “So, how are you really doing now that he’s gone?” Jill asked when they were alone.

  “I’m surviving. I miss her. I know I’ll get to see her soon and that helps, but she’s still my everything.”

  “You two were always perfect together. From what I saw before she left, you still are. It’ll work out. I’m sure of it. Have you thought about giving Dr. Scott a call?”

  “Yeah, but then I talk myself out of it.” Nicole smiled.

  “You should see him. At least to touch base. A lot has happened, and it could help you to talk to him.”

  “I’ll think about it.” Nicole glanced at the clock. “Crap, I have to get going soon. I have a meeting with one of the government agencies I do work for.”

  “Well, call, text, or stop by if you need anything.” Jill hugged her.

  “I will.”

  Jill left, and Nicole quickly cleaned up and headed off to her meeting.

  When Amber finally made it to her painting station, she saw that her boss had given her several small paintings to work on so she didn’t strain herself her first day or week back.

  “Welcome back,” her boss said.

  “Thanks. Sorry I was gone so long,” Amber said softly.

  “You’re back now, and that’s what’s important. For the next couple of weeks or until I get a release from your doctor, we’re going to have you doing little paintings. You’re one of my best painters, so please, get well soon,” he said before turning and walking away.

  Amber laughed to herself as she watched him walk off. Zach came over and helped her get ready to paint. Once Amber started painting, her reflex memory kicked in, and it was as if she hadn’t been gone at all. The day went by quickly, and Zach helped Amber clean up. As they were walking out, Lucinda
stopped them. She asked Amber how many would be with her for the artist party for the art show. Amber said there would be two.

  “What?” Amber said as she and Zach walked out of the gallery.

  “Nothing,” Zach said.

  “I’m not moving until you tell me what that smile was for.”

  “Fine. You glow when you think about Nicole. It’s cute. Now come on or you’ll be late for your dinner with Jessie.”

  “Yeah, I’m going to move quicker to get someplace where I’m going to get lectured and possibly yelled at.” Amber laughed.

  The drive wasn’t long, and for once, they made good time. Amber walked into the building and took the elevator to the twelfth floor. Amber checked in with the receptionist who told her that Jessie would be right with her.

  Dr. Jessie Burke opened her office door with a glare already fixed on her face. Amber looked up and saw this and blanched a little. Jessie just shook her head slowly.

  “Amber, my office now.”

  Amber got up, bowed her head, and walked past Jessie and into her office. The office was decorated with a couple of high-back leather chairs, a sofa with several pillows on it, fake plants, and dark wood throughout. She wanted her clients to feel as relaxed as possible, so it was easier for them to open up and talk about their problems. Amber sat on the sofa, still not looking at Jessie.

  “How are you doing?” Jessie asked, in a much softer tone, and she had a genuine look of concern on her face.

  “I’ve been better, but I’m healing,” Amber said, still not meeting the other woman’s eyes.

  “I have no clue where to start tonight. I heard so little when I was on the phone with you, Heather, and Nicole. Where should we start?” Jessie placed a hand on Amber’s good shoulder.