Rearview Mirror

by B L Clark

  Amber arrived home to find Nicole lost in thought at her computer. Amber knew how intense she was when she was working, but this was even more so. Nicole’s fingers hadn’t even slowed down when Amber called to her when she came in the door or when she walked over and kissed the side of her head. Amber glanced at the screen, and the cryptic code Nicole was typing looked like random words mixed with punctuation and special characters. Amber had no clue if Nicole was really typing something or if her fingers were just pressing buttons.

  While Nicole worked, Amber made dinner and took a bowl of chili to the desk for Nicole should she ever come out of her code coma. Amber took her bowl and sat on the pillows she had in the far corner of the room. It was one of her favorite spots to sit and watch out the window. She had slept many nights in this spot listening to the rain and thunder. After she finished her dinner, she set the bowl on a small table nearby, pulled out a sketchpad, and started to draw.

  Nicole finally finished her code and saw the bowl of chili sitting on the desk. She looked around the room and saw Amber sketching. She smiled to herself realizing that Amber looked the most at peace she had ever seen when she was sketching or painting. She wondered how long Amber had been home. And if she should disturb her or not.

  “You can come sit by me and eat your dinner.” Amber smiled, never taking her gaze off the sketchbook.

  “Are you sure it wouldn’t distract you?”

  “I welcome all distractions of the Nicole variety.”

  “Well, in that case…” Nicole grabbed her bowl and sat next to Amber who had set down the sketchpad. “Why’d you stop?”

  “Well, I was hoping for a kiss from a hot redhead—” Amber’s words were cut off by Nicole’s lips pressed against her own. “How was your day?”

  “It was good. I talked to Jill, had tea with Mrs. Phelps, and I even figured out how to fix a program glitch that has driven me nuts for months.”

  “Sounds like a good day. Do you have more work to do, or are you done for the night?”

  “I’m done for tonight, but I’m going to need to work tomorrow night to update the code for a couple of clients. How was your day?” Nicole finished eating and set her bowl next to Amber’s.

  “Not bad. I had a meeting with Lucinda to discuss the show. I’m not sure if I’m getting really excited or if I’m scared.”

  “I say it’s excitement. You’re so talented, and Lucinda and the rest of us support you and can’t wait to see your amazing work on display.”

  “You’re just excited to see your picture at the center of all the other artwork,” Amber teased.

  “That’s just an added perk. Seriously, though, baby, I’m very proud of you.”

  Amber blushed, and the two shared a comforting kiss. After the kiss, Amber and Nicole decided that tonight was the best night they had to go out dancing. Amber wanted Nicole to get to know Tony and Trevor. They had planned to go several times before but were too tired or too busy. Amber knew she needed to show Nicole one of the few places she felt completely safe.

  After paying the entrance fee, Amber took Nicole’s hand and led her through the crowd to the bar toward the back of the club. Amber talked briefly with the bartender and received two drinks. She handed one to Nicole, and they made their way to an empty table near the bar.

  “Do you come here often?” Nicole asked as she felt Amber take her hand as they watched the people dancing.

  “Not lately. Zach and I would come here because I never felt comfortable in straight clubs. I didn’t like guys always coming up to me and wanting to dance. I barely can dance with Zach. I know he and I know we’re just friends dancing, but I’m still uncomfortable at times.”

  “So, do you just people watch?”

  “Not exactly,” Amber said with a smile, looking past Nicole.

  Nicole turned to see what Amber was looking at, and she saw Tony making his way over toward them. As he reached the table, Amber jumped up and hugged him.

  “It’s about time I see you here,” Tony said. “Hi, Nicole. I’m glad Amber finally brought you out here.”

  “Hi, Tony. It’s mostly my fault that it’s taken so long. I’ve kept some odd hours with work.”

  “What do you do?” Tony asked, his interest genuine and comforting to Nicole.

  “I’m a computer programmer.”

  “She’s being modest. She owns her own programming business,” Amber interjected proudly.

  “Wow, that’s impressive. How long have you and Amber known each other?”

  “Since we were five.” Amber blushed. She was glad that it was dark in the club so Tony couldn’t see how red she was.

  “Really?” Tony smiled, raising an eyebrow. “Wait. Nicole…this is…”

  “Yes, Tony. This is the love of my life.” Amber wrapped her arm around Nicole, pulled her close, and kissed the side of her head.

  “Wait until Trevor finds out.” He giggled. Nicole smiled at the giggle.

  “You’re such a schoolgirl,” Amber teased.

  “Hush you,” Tony said as the three of them laughed.

  As they talked, Tony and Nicole got to know each other. Amber smiled, pleased at how well Nicole was fitting in with her friend. As they talked, the DJ started a remix of an eighties medley. Tony and Amber shared a look, and they each grabbed one of Nicole’s hands and pulled her onto the dance floor. They danced throughout the full remix, and when a slow song started, Amber pulled Nicole into her arms. Their bodies melded together as they danced. Tony went to find Trevor to bring him to meet this woman who Amber had told them about for years.

  “Are you having fun?” Amber asked as she held Nicole close and leaned their foreheads together.

  “I’m with you. Of course I am.”

  As they danced, they shared a couple of chaste kisses. After the dance, they returned to their table and slid their seats closer together. Nicole and Amber were talking softly when Amber felt a large hand on her shoulder. She knew instantly who it was and smiled.

  “Hi, Trevor.” Amber smiled, looking up at the man towering over them.

  “Hey, sexy,” Trevor said. “I’ve missed you.”

  “I’m sorry it’s been so long. I had to go back to Eagle Peak for a bit.”

  “Is that where this happened?” Trevor pointed to Amber’s shoulder.

  “Yes.” Amber looked down as she felt Trevor gently squeeze her shoulder and Nicole squeeze her hand.

  “Do I need to make someone pay?”

  “No, it’s been taken care of.”

  “All right, but if you need me to at any point, you know I have connections. Now who is the beautiful woman sitting here?” Trevor motioned toward Nicole.

  “Trevor, this is Nicole. Nicole, this is Trevor. He owns the club and is Tony’s partner.”

  “Hi, it’s very nice to meet you.” Nicole offered her hand but was engulfed in a warm hug instead.

  “I’m so happy to see you here and to finally get to meet you. Tony was right, you make her glow,” Trevor said.

  “Paws off my girlfriend.” Amber playfully pulled Nicole from Trevor’s embrace. Nicole looked at her with shock and gratitude.

  “Thanks,” Nicole said softly.

  “Nicole, should you need anything ever, call me and I’ll do whatever is in my power to assist. No matter what it is.” Trevor handed Nicole one of his cards.

  “Thank you.”

  “You make it sound like you’re a mobster.” Amber laughed.

  “You know the mob only wishes they were as stylish and amazing as I am.” Trevor kissed Amber on top of her head before sauntering away.

  “He’s…sweet,” Nicole said, trying to choose her words properly.

  “He’s amazing. He and Tony have been there for me for years.”

  “Hey, Amber,” a female voice said from behind them.

  “Crap,” Amber mumbled as she quickly moved closer to Nicole and pressed their bodies together.

  “What’s wrong?” Nicole whispered, feeling Amber tense
.

  “S-stay close…” Amber stuttered as Nicole wrapped an arm around Amber’s waist and held her closer.

  “Well, hello there, gorgeous,” the brunette said, directing her attention to Nicole. “My, my Amber, who do we have here?”

  “This…” Amber started.

  “Nobody you need to be concerned with. If you’ll excuse us,” Nicole said dismissively.

  “Now, there’s no need to be rude. Amber and I go way back, and I’m just being friendly.”

  “Back off, Beth,” Tony’s voice boomed from behind Nicole and Amber.

  “Oh, Tony, I’m not hurting anyone. I was just trying to find out who Amber’s gorgeous friend here is and see if she wants to hang out with someone who knows how to have fun.”

  “I think I know Amber well enough to know that isn’t what you were trying to do and that you really don’t know a damn thing about her,” Nicole defended.

  “Oh, yeah, redhead and feisty. Come with me, baby, and leave this bore here.” Beth reached for Nicole’s hand.

  “Keep your hands away from my girlfriend, Beth,” Amber snapped, stopping her hand.

  “Girlfriend? Seriously? Don’t lie, Amber, it doesn’t become you. Plus, how long could you two possibly have been together?”

  “Twelve years,” Nicole snapped.

  “No, I’ve known Amber for several years, and she has been single, so, really, babe, don’t lie to me.”

  “Technically, we’ve been together for twelve years, babe.” Nicole sneered. “We never broke up. Even if we had, there’s no way I would be interested in something like you when I have this sexy woman here.”

  Amber blushed, and Tony giggled.

  “Really, Tony? Man up,” Beth snapped.

  “Just leave, Beth,” Amber said, exasperated.

  “I’ll leave when, I’m sorry, what’s your name, beautiful?”

  “Nicole, my name is Nicole.”

  “Well, Nicole. I would be honored if you would please join me for a dance,” Beth said.

  “No, thanks.” Nicole brushed her fingers along Amber’s jawline before leaning in and kissing her soundly. Their bodies melded together as if the rest of the world no longer existed.

  “I think we need to go home,” Amber said, her eyes a darker shade of blue and her breathing ragged.

  “I agree.” Nicole gave Amber a chaste kiss.

  The two women said goodbye to Tony and ignored the now shocked and aroused Beth.

  “Want a threesome?” Beth asked as the two women started to leave.

  “You wouldn’t have the stamina to keep up,” Amber said, causing Trevor and Tony to laugh and Beth to just stand there with her mouth open.

  “What the fuck just happened?” Beth said in disbelief as she watched them leave.

  Nicole pulled Amber out of the club, and they hailed a cab.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Therapy

  As the art show got closer, Amber felt her anxiety building and scheduled a couple of appointments with Dr. Dyer when Nicole wasn’t with her. It wasn’t that she didn’t want Nicole there, she was afraid of what she would bring up and what Nicole would think.

  “Amber, you know Nicole isn’t going to judge you on your past,” Dr. Dyer said as she and Amber sat in her office.

  “I know. I just don’t know if I’m ready for her to hear how bad things really were. I just got her back,” Amber said softly.

  “I know, but if you want this thing to work between you two, you need to be open with her. There are going to be triggers that she’ll need to be aware of so she can help you. I’m sure she has her own triggers. You both have some serious scars from the past that you’re going to have to overcome, and to be honest, you’re going to have them throughout the remainder of your life. I’m not saying there will be issues, but the past isn’t going away.”

  “So, you’re saying that you aren’t going to make it all go away?” Amber said, laughing.

  “If I could do that, I would either be really busy or really bored. You’ve come a long way since Nicole came back into your life. You now need to decide if you’re going to bring her into the thick of it all or keep her on the outside of the heart of what you’re going through.”

  “That’s a lot easier said than done.”

  “Anything worth having and doing always is. What scares you about bringing Nicole into that inner circle of knowledge?”

  “I’m afraid mostly that it’s going to change our relationship. That she’s going to pity me and either stay out of guilt or leave me because she’ll realize how fucked up my family has made me.”

  “Seriously?”

  “What? You don’t think her learning the stuff that happened to me will change things between us?”

  “No, I don’t. There are a lot of relationships that I could say that it would affect them, but what you have with Nicole will only grow stronger. There are people who are destined to be together, that were made for each other. I believe from what I’ve seen of the two of you together, and what you have told me over the years, that you belong together and nothing in your past or future will keep you apart.”

  “So, you’re saying you think we should skip the rest of this session and I should bring Nicole in with me to let her hear all the crap I had to survive and hide from her over the years.”

  “I’m saying that I think it would be good for both of you. I can only offer my opinions. You’re the one that must live with the fallout, and if you think you and Nicole are going to make a true go at this, maybe we should bring her in. I’m not saying we can’t discuss things, I just don’t think it’s best going forward that you exclude her.”

  “Okay. Well, since I’m here, why is it that I’m so upset that Jill, Heather, and Erik told us they can’t make it to the art show?”

  “They can’t? Well, that stinks. Did they give you a good reason?”

  “Work was the main reason. I know we aren’t close friends like we used to be, but I had hoped they would be here. They said when I was getting the releases signed that they would be here. I know Nicole is upset by it, too. She isn’t letting on that she is, but I can tell.”

  “Maybe it is work or maybe it’s just that they’re still coming to grips and understanding on things. You were gone for a long time. I know there was a good reason and extenuating circumstances, but you were gone, and that may be playing a part in their decision not to come. You and Nicole need to not let it affect you and your relationship. You know that Nicole, Zach, and Jessie will be there.”

  “I know and I’m grateful that they will be. Mr. and Mrs. Phelps will be there, too.”

  “From what you have told me, they love you like a daughter. I’m not surprised that they will be there for you.” Amber decided to call it a short session and promised to bring Nicole with her the next day. Dr. Dyer was pleased with the session and knew that she wasn’t wrong about the relationship between Nicole and Amber. They could make it through these hard parts and still come out as a couple.

  Amber arrived home to find Nicole on the phone with a client. Amber quietly slipped into the bedroom to change, then went into her art studio to paint.

  “Hi, beautiful,” Nicole said after she finished her call.

  “Hey, sweetie.” Amber smiled up from the canvas. “I hope I didn’t interrupt your call.”

  “Of course not.” Nicole made her way over to Amber and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. “How was your day?”

  “It was good. How was yours?”

  “Eh, it wasn’t bad. I got a lot of coding done for my one client. Tomorrow, I have to be on a conference call with one of my larger clients. I did some prep work for that meeting.”

  “Sounds interesting. Would you be available to see Dr. Dyer with me tomorrow? I stopped in to see her today, and she thought it would be good if you came in for the next session.”

  “Of course. My meetings tomorrow are all in the morning, so I can be there any time after one o’clock. Why did you see her today? Is ev
erything okay?”

  “Great. It would be a four o’clock appointment, so that should work out well. I saw her because I was having a hard time dealing with the fact that the gang said they would be there for the opening and now they aren’t coming. I didn’t want you to be concerned, so I didn’t say anything,” Amber said, seeing the concern on Nicole’s face. “She thinks that you coming in to discuss my concerns about the gang not coming and then maybe discussing some of the crap I went through and how I hid it might be good.”

  “Amber, if it’s really causing you anxiety that they aren’t coming, I can call them and talk with them.”

  “Nic, I’m more scared that it’s just going to be us, Zach, Mr. and Mrs. Phelps, and Jessie that show up.”

  “Well, now you’re just being silly. You’re an awesome artist, plus there are others in this show. You’re going to make them feel totally inadequate.”

  “And you aren’t biased at all.” Amber smirked as she put her paint palette and brush down and pulled Nicole into her arms.

  “Of course not,” Nicole said before she brought their lips together in a reassuring kiss.

  “What do you say we order a pizza and just cuddle tonight instead of cooking?”

  “That sounds like a fantastic idea.”

  The couple ordered pizza and sat on the floor pillows and listened to the rain. They were each lost in thought and silently enjoying the closeness.

  Nicole met Amber outside the gallery so they could go to the appointment with Dr. Dyer together.

  “So, how are you two doing today?” Dr. Dyer asked when they arrived.

  “Fine,” Amber said softly.

  “I’m okay,” Nicole said.

  “Did Amber explain why she invited you here?”

  “Um, she said she was having a hard time dealing with the fact that the gang has decided not to come to the showing.”

  “True, but there’s more than that. It stems back to what happened to her as a child and how she had to hide from you and the others in your group.”