Rearview Mirror

by B L Clark

  “She did really well. I saw Lucinda, her boss, glare at the ones being mean.”

  “I like her boss,” Erik interjected.

  “Me too. She’s a really nice woman and very supportive of Amber and her work. I don’t think Amber could have gotten a better boss.”

  “I’m glad. Amber definitely earned a whole lot of good in her life after what we learned about her past.”

  “I agree, Heather,” Nicole said. “So, are you guys going to be there at the start of the show?”

  “Actually, the plan is for us to show up after it starts. We’ll be there within the first thirty minutes, though. We intend on supporting Amber throughout as much as possible, but we still want the element of surprise,” Jill said.

  “You’re pretty quiet, Erik. What’s up?” Nicole said.

  “Are you ever coming home, Nic?” he asked sheepishly.

  “I’m not going to get into this discussion today. We’ll discuss it tomorrow, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  Nicole could tell that Erik was upset that she had been gone for so long. She also knew he wasn’t going to take it well when she told him that Amber had asked her to move in with her and that she had agreed. That wasn’t something Nicole was going to dwell on today. Today was Amber’s day.

  Amber cracked the window open about two inches, just enough to get some air flowing in and to be able to hear the rain on the street and trees. She sat on the pillows and stared at the raindrops as they dripped down the window and fell. This was one of the reasons she loved her place so much. She loved sitting here. She could hear the rain hitting the buildings, traffic splashing from a couple of blocks away. She could hear the rain hitting the leaves of the tree-lined street. The sound was relaxing and allowed her to clear her mind. It was shortly after Amber moved into this apartment that she found out how calming this spot was. It was after a particularly frightening nightmare.

  “Bitch, you will listen to me and you will do as I say, or I’ll tell Dad and you’ll regret it,” Jeffrey screamed as Amber cowered in the corner of the kitchen. “Do the dishes and do them now before I take what Dad has taught me and punish you myself.”

  Amber quickly stood and started to wash the dishes. She knew this was Jeffrey’s chore for the day because he had gotten in trouble at school, but she knew that taking the punishment from him would result in her having to be more creative in hiding the bruises and pain from Nicole and the others.

  “Get moving faster before Dad gets home. I swear if you even give a hint to him that you did my chore for me, I will make you regret it.”

  “I-I won’t tell.” Amber flinched away from Jeffrey as he clenched his fist.

  Amber finished the dishes and rinsed out the sink. After she was done, she dried and put the dishes away. Jeffrey watched her the whole time, making it worse because she feared at any moment, he would lunge at her.

  Jeffrey stood and took the towel from her. He told her to go to her room. As Amber started to walk away, Jeffrey snapped her with the towel on the back of her arm, leaving a giant welt. It was as the pain flashed through her mind that Amber awoke that night. She knew that going back to sleep would send her back into her dream if she couldn’t clear her mind and calm her emotions. She wandered around her new apartment and heard the rain hitting the window. She grabbed a pillow off the couch and sat near the corner window. She opened it wide, so she could feel the rain splashing in and hear it falling outside on the trees and street. Amber sat next to the window and felt the nightmare dissipate. She felt herself calming and enjoying the peace and solitude.

  Since that night, Amber would sit here when she needed the peace it brought to her mind. She had bought a sound simulator to create the sounds of rain and several pillows to make the spot more comfortable over the years. She could never imagine giving up this spot. Her spot. She told herself that as long as the Phelpses would allow her to, she would live here. This single spot made her horrors seem like a thing of the past.

  Amber had told Dr. Dyer about this spot and how she felt when she was in it. Dr. Dyer told her it was the rearview mirror effect.

  “You’re just making that up,” Amber said.

  “Not really. Okay, it’s what I personally call it, but it doesn’t diminish the meaning.”

  “So, what is the rearview mirror effect?”

  “It’s simple. Memories of our past may appear closer and more powerful than they are. You know they’re behind you. You know you’re the only one who can let them catch you and overtake you. But once you truly put them behind you, they can no longer do that. They’re simply memories. I’m not saying they won’t hurt like hell or scare the shit out of you, but you can stop the effect they have on you. Amber, that spot you found in your apartment, it’s the catalyst that will keep your memories at bay and allow them to never catch and overtake you.”

  “Wow, I never thought of things like that,” Amber said.

  “Well, if you had, then you wouldn’t need to see me.” Dr. Dyer laughed.

  Now, sitting in this spot listening to the rain, Amber could feel the anxiety of the show drifting away. She was sad that her friends weren’t going to be there, but Nicole was. Nicole was her silver lining. Having Nicole back in her life had for the first time ever made Amber truly hopeful for the future and for happiness in life. She almost felt like she was worthy or deserved to have good in her life. She also knew in time that she would get to the spot where she did deserve to have good in her life, it was just going to take some time. Now that Nicole had agreed to move in with her, she knew she had the time.

  Tonight, I’m putting myself out there. Tonight, I’m showing off my heart and soul, Amber thought, chuckling to herself. I’ll be showing off Nicole, my heart, my true love, and my soul in my paintings. I suppose I should be more afraid, but Nicole makes it all seem possible.

  Amber sat there for a long time. She saw Nicole come back into the room and stretched her arm out. Nicole accepted the invitation and joined Amber on the pillows cuddling and listening to the rain. As time passed, the two moved closer to each other and desire flared, and they found themselves passionately kissing while hands roamed, causing them to moan.

  “Bed?” Amber panted. Nicole could only nod. Amber picked Nicole up and carried her to the bedroom. They undressed each other before spending the rest of the morning and part of the afternoon making love.

  Nicole and Amber showered together before getting ready separately. They had agreed that the element of surprise the night before had been so much fun that they would wait to see each other again. Mrs. Phelps did their hair and helped them into their necklaces. Nicole was pacing the living room when Mr. Phelps arrived with his camera.

  “Oh, Nicole, you look stunning tonight,” Mr. Phelps said. Nicole was wearing a simple emerald green silk dress.

  “Thank you.” Nicole blushed.

  “Have you seen what Amber’s wearing?”

  “I don’t know. After she swapped out the dress yesterday, I’m not sure what she’ll be in.”

  The two were laughing when Mrs. Phelps entered the room.

  “What’s so funny?” she asked, and Nicole explained. Mrs. Phelps joined in the laughter and said Amber was ready to join them.

  Amber made her way down the hall and around the corner. She heard Mr. Phelps and Nicole gasp. She felt self-conscious about the dress, but she refused to let it stop her. Amber stood before them wearing an elegant black knee-length silk dress with three-quarter-length sleeves, a V-neck, and sequins. The light made the sequins shimmer as she walked.

  “Wow,” Nicole whispered in awe.

  “Amber, you look amazing.” Mr. Phelps wiped a tear from his eye. “You have always been such a beautiful woman, now the world is going to see it.”

  “He’s right, Amber. You look incredible,” Mrs. Phelps said. “I thought you were beautiful last night. Tonight, you are stunning, my dear.”

  “Nic? Does it look okay? Do you like it?” Amber asked shyly.

&
nbsp; Nicole was speechless. Her gaze roamed Amber’s body. The dress hugged her curves and showed off her body. Instead of trying to find the words, Nicole took both of Amber’s hands in her own and looked deep into her eyes.

  “Breathtaking!”

  Nicole and Amber entered the gallery and made their way over to Lucinda.

  “Amber, you look amazing,” Lucinda said. “You too, Nicole.”

  “Thank you,” they said in unison.

  After talking with Lucinda for several minutes, they made their way over to the other artists. They joined in the small talk, but everyone was just trying to contain the nervous energy.

  “You’ll do great, baby,” Nicole whispered into Amber’s ear as she entwined their fingers together.

  “All right, may I have everyone’s attention please?” Lucinda said as everyone turned to face her and the conversations died down. “Thank you all for agreeing to show your work and be a part of this showing. I know I speak for all your sponsors when I tell you how incredible your work is and how proud we are to have you here.”

  With that, the artists made their way to their work, and Lucinda opened the doors. Amber had requested that Lucinda put her at the back of the exhibit, so it was a few minutes before she saw Zach make his way to her and Nicole.

  “Wow, Amber, you look amazing.” Zach hugged her. “You look pretty good too, Nicole.”

  “Thank you for coming,” Amber said.

  “I wouldn’t miss this for the world. Your work is incredible. I must say, the picture of you, Nicole, looks pretty damn good blown up like that.”

  “Yeah, I’m a bit self-conscious standing here with it hovering over me.” Nicole laughed.

  “Where is Jessie? I thought you two were coming together,” Amber said.

  “She was so excited she had to pee,” Zach blurted out just as Jessie walked up.

  “Thank you, Captain Subtle,” Jessie said. “Wow, you two look gorgeous. I had no idea you cleaned up that well.”

  “She does clean up well, doesn’t she?” Amber teased before kissing the back of Nicole’s hand.

  “Aww, that’s so sweet,” Jessie said.

  “Okay, we’re going to go check on the other art pieces quickly. I see you have some people coming your way.”

  Zach and Jessie left as the crowd made their way to Amber’s exhibit. Amber spoke with several patrons as Nicole stood back and let her shine. Nicole had never seen Amber glow the way she did when she talked about artwork. Several people asked if Amber was still doing photography and if she would consider doing some pieces on commission. Lucinda overheard this and advised them that if they were truly interested, they could leave their cards with her and Amber would be in contact.

  “Thanks,” Amber said, relieved that Lucinda had come back to check on her.

  “How are you doing?” Lucinda asked.

  “I’m not as bad as I thought I would be.”

  “It’s because she’s talking with them about stuff she’s passionate about.” Nicole joined the two women. “She absolutely glows when she’s discussing art with the guests.”

  “That’s fantastic to hear. Now I have to tell you that you were the first to sell a piece tonight.”

  “What?” Amber said, shocked.

  “The painting in the lower left, it sold after ten minutes.” Lucinda grinned.

  “It wasn’t to Zach or Jessie, was it? Or you, Nic?” Amber said.

  “Nope. It was bought by Mr. Gunderson.” Lucinda motioned toward an older man wearing a black tuxedo and carrying a flute of champagne. “He said he wanted to display it in the lobby of his law office.”

  “Amber, that’s fantastic!” Nicole said.

  After talking for a few more minutes, Lucinda left to continue her rounds in the gallery. Nicole watched Amber answer questions with the guests but noticed a dark spot in Amber’s glow.

  “Baby, what’s wrong?”

  “I just wish the others could have made it. This is me, the person I am now. I was looking forward to showing them and not having them know me by the description I gave them before…”

  “I didn’t know it was weighing on you so much,” Nicole said.

  “I’m trying not to let it, but it’s still there,” Amber said.

  “Hey, you two,” Jessie said. “Look who we found at the entrance.”

  Amber saw Jill, Heather, and Erik standing before her.

  “Wow, Amber, you are smoking hot,” Erik said as he hugged her close.

  “Amber, you look amazing. The exhibit looks amazing.” Jill then hugged her, too.

  “And to think I was almost over my lustful crush on you. Wow, you look breathtaking tonight,” Heather whispered.

  “Don’t let Nicole hear you say that,” Amber said, pulling back and winking at Heather. “What are you guys doing here? I thought you said you couldn’t get away.”

  “Oh, yeah, about that…” Jill said. “We lied. Nicole and Zach thought it would be fun to surprise you.”

  Amber turned to see Nicole and Zach blushing and looking sheepishly at her.

  “Oh, they did, huh? I’ll deal with you two later,” Amber said.

  The group chatted casually and strolled around checking out the exhibits while Amber entertained the art community and answered their questions about her art. Nicole stayed close to Amber and made sure she always had a glass of water or champagne handy. Amber was grateful, her throat was hurting from talking so much.

  As the show came to an end, Lucinda informed Amber that she had sold all her work. Amber was a bit surprised that someone bought the photograph of Nicole. Not because it wasn’t good, but because it was of someone. Nicole was the center subject of the piece. Lucinda told Amber that she bought it. She loved the aesthetics and symmetry of the photograph. She also advised Amber that she had received several cards for people wanting to commission her for art or photography projects.

  “I would say tonight was a success.” Nicole wrapped her arm around Amber’s waist.

  “Yes, it was.” Amber kissed the side of Nicole’s head. “Thank you for surprising me with the gang.”

  “You honestly believed we wouldn’t be here for this?” Jill asked.

  “I was gone for ten years. You guys only saw me for a little bit when I was back there. I…”

  “You didn’t think you were deserving or that we loved you as much as we ever did?” Heather asked, receiving a slight nod from Amber. “That’s where you’re wrong.”

  “You’re family, Amber. We love you, and we’ll always be here and support you.” Erik kissed her forehead.

  “How long are you guys staying in New York?”

  “A few days,” Heather said, smiling.

  “Great, so why don’t you come by my apartment tomorrow morning and I’ll make breakfast? Wait, where are you staying?”

  “With me,” Zach piped in. “I’ll bring them by in the morning.”

  “Great, and, Jessie, you and Zach are expected to be at this breakfast,” Nicole said, reading Amber’s mind.

  “Sweet, I love Amber for breakfast! Er, I mean Amber’s breakfasts.” The slightly buzzed woman blushed.

  “That better be what you mean, or you and I are going to have a little chat,” Nicole said, offering Jessie a mock glare.

  The night ended as Nicole and Amber made their way back to their apartment. For the first time in a while, Amber felt like she was a part of a family and her life was turning around.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  Life in NYC

  Amber was in the kitchen getting ready to make breakfast when she heard the knock at her door. Nicole was in the living room and answered the door. She smiled and escorted her friends into the apartment.

  “Wow, this place is awesome,” Erik said, looking around at the spacious room.

  “I thought apartments in New York were small and expensive,” Heather said as Amber joined them in the living room.

  “They usually are. Mr. and Mrs. Phelps are fantastic landlords, and they aren
’t in it for the money. This brownstone has been in their family since it was built.” Amber hugged her friends and wrapped an arm around Nicole’s waist.

  “How are you feeling after last night?” Jill asked.

  “Good actually. I still can’t believe that all my work sold.”

  “Of course it sold, baby. You’re an amazing artist,” Nicole said, before kissing Amber on the side of the head.

  “You, my love, are biased,” Amber said, smiling at her.

  “No, you are an amazing artist,” Jessie agreed as she let herself into the apartment.

  “Nice of you to join us,” Nicole said. “You do know that Amber is making breakfast and she is not breakfast?”

  “Ugh.” Jessie groaned. “I cannot be held responsible for the things I say when I’m under the influence of alcohol.”

  “Sweetie, don’t tease Jessie, she knows how to hypnotize people.”

  “She wouldn’t…would she?”

  “I would. I’m evil that way,” Jessie said, giving Nicole an evil grin.

  “Jessie, be nice,” Amber warned. “Now who wants coffee? Breakfast is cooking and should be ready in about twenty minutes.”

  “I do,” Amber heard in a chorus as everyone made his or her way to the kitchen area.

  After everyone had coffee, Amber gave Heather and Jill a tour of the apartment.

  “So, Nic, are you ever coming home?” Erik asked after Amber took Jill and Heather to see the rest of the apartment.

  “Yes and no. Amber asked me to move in with her, and I told her I would. So, I’ll be coming back to get some stuff. We haven’t talked about selling the house yet or not.”

  “Are you serious? You’ve barely been together for two months.”

  “Erik, it’s Amber. I’ve never loved anyone else. I’ve never wanted anyone else in my life.”

  “So, you’ll give up everything to come here? She won’t come back home?”