“Oh honey, you do have it bad.”
“I know,” I said in defeat.
“I’ll be there in about an hour. Don’t worry. I’m bringing wine.”
“I’m glad you came this year.” My elderly neighbor, Rose, gushed as I held her shaky hand in mine and helped her take a seat in one of the lawn chairs. “Don’t you usually go to the coast?”
“Thanks,” I said with false cheerfulness. She was a sweet woman who I adored from the top of her blue hair down to her white orthotic shoes. “I do, but I’m working tomorrow and didn’t want to have to fight traffic to get home in the morning.” Though I would take hours in traffic over being here watching Kevin––with her.
To my relief, I hadn’t seen Grace touch him or the other way around. In fact, it looked like they weren’t speaking. She spent most of her time sitting on Jim’s front stoop texting or talking on her phone.
I kept my distance from him by playing with the neighborhood kids or holding my neighbors baby but every time I glanced at him, his eyes were on me. It thrilled me and made me more self-conscious than I had ever been.
“That handsome man over there keeps looking at you.” I handed her a plate of food then took the seat next to her taking a pull of my beer than a bite of my hotdog. “Mmm,” I said with a full mouth. I hoped if I chewed slowly enough, she would forget what she said. I was well aware he watched me.
Tim dropped in the chair next to mine and leaned into me. “He’s still watching you.” He drew out the last word as his brows bounced up and down and his grin widened.
I ignored his comment and asked, “Looks like you made fans out of Jim’s boys.” I nodded toward the two boys throwing a football back and forth.
He chuckled deep and low. “They’ll make great defensive lineman if the way they tackle each other is any sign.” He stole a chip off my plate then pushed out of his chair. “I’m getting some food. I’ll be back.”
No longer distracted by Rose, who chatted with another neighbor, I became acutely aware of Kevin’s every movement. When he caught me watching him, he smiled, and I choked on my hotdog. I took a sip of beer hoping to stop my coughing fit. I could feel my face redden, and Rose became worried that I would need the Heimlich. “I’m all right.” I patted her hand between coughs.
When I finally managed to take a breath, I realized Kevin no longer watched me from across the street but had taken the spot Tim had been sitting in. “Are you all right? Do you need some water?”
I shook my head and gulped down more beer.
“So…” he said.
“So,” I responded not daring to look at his beautiful face.
“I get the feeling you’re trying to avoid me.”
I shrugged and gulped down the rest of my beer wishing I had another. “Just enjoying the party.”
“There’s something I’d like to confess.”
I finally glanced at him out of curiosity. What would he need to confess?
“I can’t wait for our date on Sunday.” I just stared at him then to Grace, who appeared to be yelling at someone over the phone. “I’m also dying to kiss you, again.”
I drew in a breath because I had been dying to do the same thing ever since I fell off his couch last week. “I’d like for you to kiss me but what about Grace? Are you with her?” I fidgeted with my empty beer bottle waiting for him to answer.
“She’s here for business, but she’s heading home tomorrow morning.”
“Is she staying with you?” Picturing his tiny one-bedroom apartment, my stomach dipped with jealousy and regret. I should’ve stayed instead of sneaking off. Maybe if I had, she wouldn’t be here right now.
“No. She’s staying at a hotel nearby.” I wave of relief ran through me, and I felt my body relax for the first time since I saw them together last night.
“I didn’t even know she was coming until she showed up at my door. Jim saved me by inviting us over for dinner, so I wouldn’t have to be alone with her.” Before I could ask another question, he said, “I made it clear I have no desire to get back together.”
“But she does?” I looked over at Grace, who stared me down like I just stole her favorite toy.
Kevin placed a finger under my chin and turned my head until I looked at him. “She does, but it doesn’t matter. From the lyrics of that one song, ‘We are never ever getting back together.’” He grinned when I burst out laughing. I never expected him to quote a Taylor Swift song.
My laughter died down, and I sighed in relief. “Okay.”
“Okay,” he repeated.
After the fireworks, I watched Kevin walk Grace to her car rental where he gave her a quick hug. When he let go, I could see the disappointment on her face. I looked away to give them privacy, knowing how it felt to love someone who didn’t love you back.
After cleaning up the fireworks, everyone relaxed on blankets and lawn chairs chatting and catching up with each other without the distraction of kids.
Laying his head on my lap, Tim rambled on and on about the difficulty of meeting men as I lazily ran my fingers through his hair. I nodded as if in agreement but in truth, I wasn’t paying attention. My thoughts were with Kevin and how he wanted to date me…and kiss me.
“Kimmie?”
“Hmm?” I looked down at a droopy-eyed Kevin.
“Have you thought any more about my idea?” he asked.
“You mean the crazy idea that we have a baby? Together?” I made it sound like he was ridiculous for even thinking it but I had thought about it. A lot. I bent over and kissed his cheek loving that he would ask me to be the mother of his baby but knew better. I still wanted a baby but not with him.
“We’re not getting any younger,” he singsonged.
I sighed and looked up and lost my breath when I realized Kevin stood right in front of us stiff as a board staring at me.
I patted Tim’s shoulder and helped him sit up.
“You two are…”
“Friends.” I finished before he could ask.
He tilted his head and glared at Tim. “He’s gay,” I said a little too loudly, drawing attention from our neighbors. It wasn’t like they didn’t know. When Tim came out of the closet after college, he decided never to hide again. He didn’t run around yelling, “I’m gay!” from the rooftops or anything, but he never shied away from being honest when people asked.
“I am,” Tim slurred.
Kevin relaxed before my very eyes and his smile returned. “Okay.”
“Okay,” I repeated.
Taking the seat next to me, he reached out and took my hand. I think I might have sighed. It was such a simple thing, yet it felt big. Feeling completely relaxed and happy, words flew out of my mouth before I realized what I said.
“I really wanted to have sex with you.”
His surprised laugh made my stomach clench. The sound of his voice pulled me in like a fishing reel.
A fishing reel? Where did that come from? How much did I have to drink? Too much if I’m having a conversation with myself about fishing reels.
“I know, and I’m sure it would’ve been great.” He ran the back of his hand down my cheek leaving goosebumps in his wake. “But I want to know the person I’m making love to.”
I gulped. “Make love?” My voice squeaked, and I was pretty sure Kevin sighed.
“Yes,” he said before giving me a much too quick kiss on the lips. “That’s what I do. I don’t have sex with just anyone.”
“Oh.” My breath caught, and I found myself breathing in his words and wanting to bathe in them.
“Yeah. Believe me. I want you. I’ve wanted you from the moment I saw you on stage singing karaoke.”
“Wow.” I released a heavy breath.
I wanted to ask Tim to pinch me, but Kevin asked, “Was that a good wow?” before I could.
I nodded, and so did Tim.
“Good,” he said against my lips.
17
For the past four weeks, my life consisted of work a
nd Kevin. Not that I was complaining. In fact, I felt frustrated over the amount of time work took from my Kevin time. But it couldn’t be helped; this was a busy time of year for us.
Unlike every boyfriend I ever had including Craig, Kevin, never complained about my schedule or how many hours I had to put in. Instead, he rearranged his schedule so he could bring me lunch every day.
Little by little he wormed his way into my heart determined to make me fall in love with him whether I wanted to or not. The big sweet jerk.
For once, I left early from work so I could spend the evening with Kevin and his neighbors.
“I’m heading out,” I announced as I passed Tara’s desk. She lifted a hand and waved but kept her eyes on her computer.
“Oh, I almost forgot. The DJ for the Williams/Martin wedding is supposed to be here in an hour to set up. I told him if he was late again this would be his last event here.”
“I know, boss,” Tara replied without glancing at me.
“Oh and one more thing.” I pulled an envelope out of my purse and dropped it on her keyboard to get her attention.
“What’s this?”
“It’s for you and the husband.”
“What?” She stood and opened the package and jumped up and down. “Are you kidding?”
“No. I thought it might be a good way to rejuvenate your marriage.”
“But the Grand Suite and couples massage?” She stared at the gift certificate as if it was gold plated. “Kim…” Tara moved from behind her desk and wrapped her skinny little arms around me.
“Don’t make this weird. It’s not a big deal. The concierge at Hotel 1000 in Seattle owed me one.” And he did, but this gift package took a lot of finagling and now I owed him one. But a happy assistant made me happy.
“You don’t know what this means?”
“I do.” I patted her on the back and wrenched her arms from around my body. “I’m leaving now. Call me if you have any issues.”
Tara sniffed and gave me a watery smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Still smiling over Tara’s reaction, I pulled up to Kevin’s apartment. The butterflies living in my stomach took flight just thinking about him. I had seen him a few hours ago, even kissed him, but I couldn’t wait to be in his arms again.
My growing feelings for him couldn’t be stopped no matter how much it scared me. He did something every day to let me know he had been thinking of me. Whether it was a text telling me how great my ass looked in my skirt or calling me to make sure I got home from work safely after a late event. Then, of course, there were the times he dropped by with coffee when he had time between appointments.
He had officially ruined me for every other man, and he didn’t seem the list bit sorry.
Just as I stepped out of my car, I noticed Benny walking up the street in a cute sixties-style dress with a pink sweater that matched her hair color carrying polka dot rain boots. Her outfit matched her sweet personality.
“Hey.” I waved and waited for her on the front steps of their apartment building. “Where are you coming from?”
“Work.” Her smile brightened as she lifted a couple of papers with colorful kid drawings.
“The preschool?” I guessed. “I bet the kids love you.”
“I hope so,” she said with humor in her voice. “I sure love them.”
“Here, let me get that.” I opened the door for her and let her in then followed right behind.
“Are you staying for dinner?” she asked.
“I am. He put me in charge of making the salad.” I held up a grocery bag that held a couple of packages of pre-made salad.
She giggled. “Perfect. It’ll be good to spend time with you outside of the pub.”
“I agree.” I adored Benny and all her sweetness in her sexy, tattooed shell.
“I’ll be up there in a minute. I’m waiting for Seth to get home.” I gave a quick wave then jogged up the stairs and knocked on his door anxious to see Kevin. We would only have a few minutes alone, and I wanted to take advantage of it.
He had me in his arms and his lips on mine before I could finish saying hello.
He didn’t hold back and expressed whatever he felt at the moment.
Having his complete focus was a heady feeling. I had no sense of time or how long we made out, but when the smoke detector went off, I figured we made out longer than he expected.
Kevin had disappeared around the corner before I could make sense of the beeping sound.
I laughed when I followed him into the kitchen, and he stood in front of the open oven with smoke billowing out trying to pull out what looked like burnt French bread. He turned to me and chuckled. “I guess we don’t need garlic bread.”
I couldn’t stop laughing as I opened his windows to allow the smoke to escape. When I struggled with the last window, he came up behind me and kissed my neck before forcing it open. “You are too distracting. I knew I should have told you to arrive later.” I turned around in his arms and gave him a kiss to last us the rest of the evening.
“Why don’t you finish dinner and I’ll see if we can eat at Benny’s so we don’t have to eat in a smoke-filled room.”
Dinner went over well even though Mrs. Bell complained more than once about not having garlic bread with our spaghetti. It was fun getting to know these people that Kevin saw and interacted with every day.
Once we finished dinner, and said goodbye to Mrs. Bell, and the twins, Benny and I did the dishes while Kevin and Seth cleaned up the rest of the apartment.
Benny bumped my shoulder and grinned. “He likes you,” she said, emphasizing the ‘you.’
“I know.” I looked over my shoulder and watched Kevin and Seth fold up the card tables they brought in for the dinner.
I had been flying high since he announced I was his girlfriend in front of everyone. It was the first time either of us said the words and I liked how it sounded coming out of his mouth.
“You’re the first person he’s dated since he moved here,” she said casually.
I handed her another plate to rinse off and asked, “How do you know?”
“He told me. I even tried to set him up.”
“What?” I screeched. She tried to set up my Kevin?
“Before I knew you were divorced,” she clarified. “I was thrilled when he asked me to introduce you to him at the bar.”
“He did?” A girlish giggle escaped my lips. I might act immature at times, but not giddy as a schoolgirl. I should be embarrassed, but I couldn’t help my response.
“Yeah. He had watched you from the moment you walked into the pub.” She winked and smiled.
“I’ll be right back. I have to put the card table back into storage.” Kevin announced from the front door. I nodded in his direction, so he knew I heard him then turned back to help Benny.
“Here, let me do that.” Seth took the dirty dish out of Benny’s hand and gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek before scooting her out of the way.
Throughout the evening, I had noticed how he always seemed to be watching her. Not in a possessive way but in an I can’t believe she’s mine kind of way and it wasn’t one-sided. Whenever he seemed to get uncomfortable, she would hold his hand, kiss his cheek or just move near him. I had always been curious about them and got the nerve to ask, “I think you mentioned once that you knew Seth a long time ago and re-met years later?”
She looked at him then back to me. “Yeah, the cliff note version: We were neighbors when we were kids living in southern Utah but lost touch when he moved away. Years later I moved here and applied for a waitressing job where he bartended. I didn’t even recognize him. Back in Utah, he had long hair, always wore a hoodie and went by his first name. I didn’t know he was the boy I knew until later. Anyway, when I applied for the job, I had been living in my car. He found out and invited me to stay in his tiny one-room loft.” She shrugged. “We’ve been together for over three years now.”
“Wow. What a small world.”
&n
bsp; “Right? It kind of feels like destiny.” I looked over at Kevin, who had just returned and finally understood what people meant when they said that.
Kevin kissed down my neck as he ran his hands over the top of my blouse teasing me with the light touches. I wrapped a leg around him hoping to draw him closer, but I felt him resist. He was killing me. Literally killing me. I could see it now, death by horniness.
When we first got back to his apartment, he poured us each a glass of wine, and we cuddled on the couch to talk like we had that first night I slept over. Except this time the wine was left untouched and we had our hands and mouths all over each other. We had yet to go beyond some light touching and rubbing over clothes. He wanted to take things slow, but if we went any slower, we would be stopped.
“Kevin,” I moaned.
“I know,” he groaned as he pulled away and moved to the opposite side of the couch.
He didn’t know because if he had, he wouldn’t be sitting on the other end of the couch. In fact, he did the opposite of what I wanted him to do. I adjusted my clothes and tried to calm my breathing, but it was impossible when I could still see his messy hair from me running my fingers through it and his shirt half unbuttoned. The intensity in his stare told me, he was just as sexually frustrated.
“Tell me again, why we’re waiting.” I didn’t try to hide the desperation and need in my voice.
“Because, I want to make it special for you.”
I slid over to his side of the couch and pulled him into a kiss. “I’m almost thirty-seven. I’m too old for special.”
He caressed my cheek with the back of his hand. “You will never be too old for special. I at least want to make it romantic. We’ll only have one first time together, and I don’t want it to be when my apartment smells like burnt toast, and I have garlic breath. Plus, I don’t want you to have an excuse to rush out in the morning.”
I shoved at his chest and sighed. “Fine, but it better be worth the wait. I’m serious.”
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