Sweet Forgiveness

by Jean Oram

  Zoe’s bashed head felt thick with travel and fatigue as the sheriff dropped her off at the Blueberry Creek Ranch II, which she’d guess was located smack-dab in the middle of nowhere. Zach had been sitting silently in the back seat of the cruiser like a shadow, hulking and ever-present.

  The sheriff, Conroy Johnson, had filled them in on things on the drive over. Everything from the ranch where she’d be staying, to the people who lived in the remote farmhouses that dotted the land they’d traversed on their way from the basic airstrip she and Zach had landed.

  “You’ll fit right in. Ashton and his baby are already here.”

  “What?” Baby?

  Her heart thrummed with the implications of what that one little word “baby” might imply.

  “Ashton and his daughter arrived a few hours back. Cutest little thing. Doesn’t want to be parted from her papa.”

  Papa.

  “Is it Jaelyn?” Zoe’s heart was pounding so hard now she was surprised the sheriff hadn’t heard it and hadn’t swung the car around to get her checked out at the nearest medical facility.

  “Yep. A good cowgirl name.” He grinned as he got out of the car, then hitched his pants as he walked around to the bumper.

  Jaelyn. Ashton. They were both here. What had gone on last night while Zoe was trying to sleep?

  “You all right?” Zach asked, opening her door.

  Zoe nodded, adjusting her borrowed sundress, still not fully processing the news. It didn’t matter what avenue her mind went down, she couldn’t quite figure out the conclusion. In front of her, an old ranch house sprawled across the green grass. Corrals, horses and barns surrounded the place, with pickup trucks everywhere. It felt like a real Texas ranch, not a safe house.

  Zach placed a hand on her elbow, supporting her as he steered her toward the entrance. “I’ll be sticking around for a few days, so if anything weird happens, just let me know.”

  She nodded, ill at ease with the idea of having a bodyguard—of needing one.

  They climbed the steps to the massive veranda that wrapped the front of the house, but as the sheriff let himself in, Zoe heard someone say her name from behind.

  She turned, and spotted Ashton. There was a small girl propped up in a little red wagon he was pulling, and the look of relief on Ashton’s face matched the relief in Zoe’s heart. She flew down the steps and into his waiting arms, squeezing him so tight she thought her heart would burst.

  “You’re okay,” he murmured, brushing the hair from her face. “You’re okay.”

  Zoe sniffed back tears. They held each other for a long time before Ashton finally released his tight grip, but still keeping her in a loose embrace.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said as he placed a firm kiss to her temple. She turned her face so his next kiss landed hard on her lips.

  Conroy walked past, announcing, “I’ll take my leave now. You’re in safe hands here.”

  Zoe nodded, her focus entirely on Ashton and the concern and love she saw shine for her in his hazel eyes.

  “There’s nothing to be sorry for,” he told her. “I’m the one who’s sorry.” His hand hovered near her head, his eyes a well of concern. “Are you okay? I heard about Morty.”

  “I’m okay. It’s just a bump.” She glanced around for Zach, who was no doubt skulking about the place, taking in bodyguard-type intel.

  Zoe gestured to the cute baby with the gorgeous brown skin sitting in the wagon beside Ashton. She’d soon be a toddler, up and walking and talking. “Is this Jaelyn?”

  “It is.”

  Her heart buoyed for Ashton.

  “What happened?”

  “Quentin passed guardianship to me last night. My name is still on her birth certificate.”

  “Is that something permanent?” Zoe asked nervously. If Quentin returned for Jaelyn, she had a feeling it would destroy Ashton. “I’m confused.”

  “Come inside and I’ll explain.”

  A woman came out the screen door, carrying a tray with a pitcher and two glasses.

  “Hi, Zoe. Glad you made it.”

  “Alexa?” How many people from her life were hiding out? “Is everything okay? I mean, I thought you were still working for Cohen’s in Charleston?”

  “Welcome to my ranch,” the woman said with a smile.

  “I thought your ranch was in Montana.” Sheriff Johnson had mentioned she’d be staying at Alexa’s ranch, but Zoe hadn’t clued in that it was the Alexa she knew from back home.

  “My sister decided to take it over, so Cash and I moved out here a few months ago, splitting our time between the two places.” She set down the drinks near a porch swing. “I’ll let you and Ashton catch up on things, then you and I can catch up later, and go over the safe house rules. There’s a room made up for you.” She headed back inside, and Zach rounded the porch steps to go join her.

  Despite the warmth of the day, Zoe shivered.

  Safe house. Hiding out. Bodyguard.

  Ashton picked up the baby and the diaper bag she’d been settled against, and stepped up onto the porch. He took a seat on the swing, making the girl smile as he set her on his lap. She leaned against him, obviously content.

  Zoe followed them, sitting nervously on the edge of the swing.

  “I’m sorry I put you in danger,” Ashton said. His eyes were dark, as if he hadn’t had a thing but worry for company since she’d last seen him.

  “You didn’t know,” she whispered. Her fingers drifted to the bump on her head. “They caught Morty, but they still think things are still unsecure.”

  “I heard.”

  “They have to make sure everything’s safe before we return.” She felt like she was stating the obvious, but didn’t know what else to say. All she wanted to do was curl up in Ashton’s arms and never leave.

  It was warm, the afternoon sun beating down, but the large trees planted out front shaded the porch.

  As Ashton gave Jaelyn big smiles, which were returned full force, he explained how Quentin had practically dumped the girl, while saying he had to stay low for a while.

  “Stay low?”

  Ashton nodded, explaining how he was fairly confident the man was going to do something illegal to pay Morty money he owed for double-crossing him in what he presumed was a drug-related deal. Why he’d believed he’d never get caught was another question. But until Quentin either paid his debt or the police found him and took matters into their own hands, Ashton, Jaelyn and Zoe were still considered to be at risk.

  “You have to make sure he never gets her back. Ever again,” Zoe said, gesturing to the child.

  “I will.” Ashton let Jaelyn slide down his leg and onto her feet. He held her hands while she made gurgling noises and bounced in time to a Travis Tritt song coming through an open window.

  “How many of Morty’s men do you think are still looking for Quentin?” Zoe asked, glancing at the child, knowing she was too young to comprehend their conversation.

  “No clue.”

  They were silent for a long time.

  Then Zoe, watching Jaelyn, who only had eyes for Ashton, stated, “She likes you.”

  “I was her father for months.” He adjusted the girl’s sun hat, swallowing over a lump of affection that had clearly blocked his throat. Watching him with Jaelyn made Zoe’s heart grow. This was the man she’d fallen in love with last summer, and he was quite possibly even better than he’d been then.

  “She’s going to have an amazing father who will raise her right,” Zoe said, feeling choked up as well. She wanted to complete their family picture—she wanted to be the wife, the mother, and not just a friend or ex-girlfriend.

  They sat in silence for a few minutes, the quiet punctuated by the odd refrain drifting from the kitchen or the odd whinny from a horse.

  Ashton turned to her, his expression serious. “I’m sorry if you’ve felt shut out. I was trying to protect you, but protecting you should have meant sharing with you.”

  “I understand it’s diffi
cult to share everything when you haven’t known someone for a long time.”

  He gave her a grateful look. “Still, you deserved to be told what was going on. I know you were scared I was going to leave you, like your ex-fiancé did. And then I disappeared. And when I returned I wasn’t as forthcoming as I could have been. And then I shoved you out of my cottage, too.”

  “The old stuff shouldn’t matter,” Zoe said hesitantly. “And I know you were trying to protect me.”

  “It does matter. It’s a part of who we are.”

  Jaelyn had sat down on the porch floor and was reaching for a cat that had come by, rubbing against her and making her squeal. She tried to put her mouth on the cat, but Ashton was there, directing her away.

  “But I also understand that sometimes, when we’re so overwhelmed by something, we’re afraid if we talk about it we might break,” Zoe said quietly, thinking of all he’d been through. “When Kurtis broke up with me the night before our wedding, my mom saw my expression and demanded to know what was going on. I only managed to shake my head before fleeing to my hotel room to have a breakdown.”

  Jaelyn patted Ashton and said, “Ba-ba.” He lifted her onto his lap, settling her as he expertly pulled a ready bottle out of the diaper bag. Jaelyn plucked it from his grasp and started chugging the contents.

  “So I think I understand how you felt,” Zoe said. It was still awful to think that he had been feeling that way, though, and hadn’t been able to talk to her. “And I’m sorry you couldn’t speak about it.”

  “It’s not your fault.”

  “Sometimes I’m too…”

  “You’re perfect,” Ashton said, firmly and kindly. “It was me. Don’t blame yourself.”

  “But if I had been—”

  “No. There’s nothing in your actions in need of forgiving. I should have listened to my gut. If I had, it would’ve told me that if I couldn’t talk to you about it, and that if I feared you’d talk me out of it, then I was doing the wrong thing.”

  “How was it the wrong thing?” she asked gently. “Jaelyn needed a father and you were there for her. What would have happened to her if you hadn’t been?”

  Ashton blinked at Zoe, wondering indeed what would have happened to Jaelyn if he hadn’t stepped up. It likely wouldn’t have been good.

  “I’m glad you were there for her,” Zoe said. She smiled at the child in Ashton’s lap, and Jaelyn threw her empty bottle onto the porch and reached for Zoe.

  Zoe’s eyes lit up as Ashton transferred the baby into her arms. They looked so natural together that he felt a flash of guilt for wanting this. Someone else’s child. Their lives in such disrepair so he could have this. Something wonderful. A blessing borne from someone else’s dysfunction and tragedy.

  It felt natural having Jaelyn back in his life, and it felt just as right sharing her with Zoe. He hoped it would be forever.

  “Maliki knew Jaelyn wasn’t mine, but she needed someone…” He let out a long, slow breath, resolved to tell Zoe every detail whether she wanted to know them or not. “She needed someone to raise her after she was gone. She chose the baby’s life over her own when she passed up treatment and medication that would have kept her healthy in order for Jaelyn to be born without…without more issues.” He looked at the precious child, his heart breaking for the choice her mother had had to make.

  “Oh, Ash.”

  “Because of it, she died before her time.”

  Zoe had closed her eyes, clearly feeling his pain. She was so empathetic... Why had he ever convinced himself that she would judge him harshly for stepping in and helping them?

  “She was lucky to have you there,” Zoe said.

  But it had meant excluding Zoe from his heart and dreams.

  “Maliki didn’t have a family, growing up, and she wanted Jaelyn to have what she didn’t.” He shook his head. “She was sacrificing so much, giving up her own health for the baby’s, and I wanted to do right by her.” He studied his hands. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

  “It was an impossible choice.”

  “I was afraid if I talked to you that I wouldn’t put their health first, and I knew I had to even though it meant losing what I really wanted. I thought she was my child, and I didn’t want to be a deadbeat dad.”

  “You’d never be like your father.”

  “You don’t know how tempting it was, Zoe. To choose love over obligation. What I wanted over what they needed.”

  Zoe sighed as they both looked at the child that wasn’t theirs. Jaelyn let out a shriek and stretched for the floor.

  “You were used,” Zoe said simply, putting Jaelyn down so she could crawl again.

  Ashton bowed his head, shame washing over him. To his surprise, he felt arms snake their way around his torso, making the swing rock. Zoe. She hugged him tightly.

  “I can’t even imagine what turmoil and emotion you’ve been through over the past year.”

  “Can you forgive me?”

  “There’s nothing to forgive. You tried your best and are a good man. The very best kind.”

  He hugged Zoe back, promising himself he’d never let her go, never take a day for granted ever again.

  Chapter 11

  Ashton balanced Jaelyn on his hip. She was getting sleepy and he moved her up so she could rest on his chest, using his shoulder for a pillow as he waited for Zoe to be done on the phone in the lobby of the Indigo Bay Cottages.

  It had been a week and a half since their return, after spending three days in Alexa’s safe house. It turned out that Quentin had taken a pile of cocaine from Morty, promising to sell it. Well, he had, but then he’d spent the cash instead of passing it on to Morty. The police were able to sort out the issue within a few days, piling charges upon charges on both men as they dug deeper and deeper into the recent deal.

  Zach Forrester had returned to Indigo Bay with the three of them to keep an eye on things for a while. And before he’d declared all to be well, he’d installed security systems at both Zoe’s house and the apartment Ashton was now renting for himself and Jaelyn. Then, just as suddenly as he’d arrived in Zoe’s life, Zach had vanished—but not before melting little Jaelyn’s heart. Zach had been the first name she’d learned to say.

  Ashton swayed with Jaelyn in his arms and she grew heavy as sleep pulled at her.

  “Well, I don’t know, Moe,” Zoe was saying into the phone. “It doesn’t sound like the kind of marriage situation where she’s looking to have a honeymoon.”

  Ashton frowned. That seemed like a strange thing to say.

  “I understand. Well, maybe call it a little getaway. Does Amy enjoy the ocean? We’ve got…”

  She listened in that patient way of hers, no doubt determined to find the right vacation for the two soon-to-be-marrieds.

  She caught sight of Ashton and Jaelyn, her face lighting up. She held up a finger, asking him to wait for her to finish her call.

  “Uh-huh. Yep,” she said quickly. “I’ll book the cottage for two days at the end of August, then. You can cancel a week before your arrival for a full refund. Although since you’re a cousin of Dallas’s I’m sure he’d be happy to allow you to cancel right up until the last minute.” She smiled, listening again. “Okay. Good luck with your wedding.” She added quickly, “And thank Ginger and Logan for me.”

  Zoe shivered as she ended the call, and Ashton had no doubt that the thank-you she’d asked Moe to pass along to his friend Ginger wasn’t for the resort referral, but for the way her husband had sent Zach her way—and in the knick of time, from her retelling of the story. Ashton sure hadn’t liked hearing about how Morty had almost abducted her, and he had a feeling both he and Zoe would be having some bad dreams for quite a few nights to come.

  Ashton stepped up to Zoe’s desk. “That sounded like an odd conversation.”

  “Give me a sec. He said I can add him to the newsletter list.” She began typing, and over her shoulder Ashton saw her work the newsletter program like a ninja. She had gotten the hang
of it, that was for certain.

  “He’s one of Ginger’s friends from Blueberry Springs,” she said as she typed, “and he’s marrying his best friend, who’s just turned thirty. Long story…” Zoe looked up as she finished her task. “I need to give that woman a referral discount next time she comes.”

  Zoe stood and came around the desk. She hugged Ashton, her embrace including the child in his arms who reached out to pat Zoe’s cheek, making them both smile. “I’m so glad things can go back to normal again for us all.”

  “Me, too.”

  “I did some thinking in Texas.”

  “Yeah? What’s that?” Ashton loved the way a sunbeam filtering through a skylight was giving his Zoe a beautiful glow. Their new rhythm as a couple, as the adults in Jaelyn’s life felt right. More right than he’d ever been able to imagine, and he hoped that soon Zoe would be ready to take the next step in their relationship.

  “I’m done moving slowly,” she announced, surprising Ashton. “I’m done needing to know every gritty little thing in your life.”

  “What?”

  “Ash, your daughter needs a mother.”

  He nodded slowly. He had a feeling he knew what was coming, but hesitated to allow his imagination to head off that way.

  “I would like to be that person for her, and I would also like to be your loving wife. Will you and your daughter marry me?”

  Ashton’s heart felt two sizes too big for his chest all of a sudden, and as though it was going to burst from overflowing with love. And it was the most wonderful feeling in the world.

  “I love you, Zoe.” He shifted Jaelyn so he could cup Zoe’s face with his free hand, giving her a sweet kiss that wouldn’t be the last one of the day, week, or year. It was just the beginning of many.

  “I love you, too.”

  “I thought we were going to try moving slowly? Build up a foundation of trust and sharing?”

  “Moving slow is for chumps. I vote we put a ring on this finger.” She wiggled her ring-free left hand in front of them, causing him to laugh. It felt good. Whatever walls they’d erected after the breakup were long gone now, and it was like old times, only better.