Lily in the Moonlight

by Mariya Koleva

CHAPTER IX – OLD LOVE

  "What?!" was the almost hysterical reply of aunt Leonora. She held Orange by the shoulders, helped her to stand stable and looked into her shocked eyes. Orange shrieked again, "Uncle Elijah had an accident. We'd better hurry and get help."

  "Where is he?" asked Lily, overshouting her aunt's question, "What happened?"

  Afraid not to offend her aunt, Lily said calmly, "Once we go to him, he'll tell us everything."

  Orange only managed to stretch her arm and point to the direction from which she had just come. She looked in the darkness of the white Christmas forest and it was already a frightening hole that sucked all good, warm and light. The bright Christmas tree which was at a mere five minutes' walk from them, seemed to no longer exist. The beautiful place where the girls used to go for winter walks with their parents had now turned to a hurting secretive trap that had brought them panic, stress and solitude.

  Aunt Leonora held Orange by the hand, lest she would trip in the snowy bushes. Orange did not have a torchlight. Luckily, Elijah had taken her shawl and coat to her, so she was not so cold. He had not brought her any gloves, though and her hand felt like an icy block to Leonora. Her anxiety over Elijah mixed with her motherly feelings for the two young orphans who depended entirely on Elijah and herself. She sighed deeply, "Orange, you are freezing. Let me give you something to warm you." And Leonora opened her bag and took another small flask, similar to the one which contained the glower. She made Orange stick out her tongue and using a pipette, Leonora dropped a single drop of the flask's contents on Orange's tongue. She did the same to Lily and then she took one drop herself. Lily felt comfortable warmth spread all over her body.

  "Is it another of Suthern's trick?" asked Lily.

  Leonora twitched, "This one I made myself. Of course, Sentenelus helped." With this, Leonora stopped and said, "Girls, please do not mention Professor Suthern's name in front of your uncle. At least, not very often. And definitely, not now. May I rely on you?"

  Lily and Orange, already warm and comfortable, feeling more confident in a group, exchanged curious looks. Orange said, "Yes, of course, you may." Lily simply nodded.

  The three started walking towards the place where Orange had left her uncle to go and look for help. Soon, they reached the place and saw Elijah leaning against a stone in somewhat unnatural position. Leonora ran to him, "Honey, are you OK? Can you speak? Can you move at all?"

  Elijah just murmured, he was conscious but not very adequate. His eyes had a bleak expression, that scared aunt Leonora. She touched his face and his hands. They were icy cold, but his face was burning. He was trying to speak and it was so low, that she had to lean down to his mouth.

  "I think I broke my leg," he said pointing to his right leg. It was propped against a fallen tree branch and he did not move it, but with low moans. Leonora said, "You have a fever. Maybe you are hurt. Do you feel any pain in your body, apart from your leg?" Elijah closed his eyes, and breathed heavily. "I don't know. I feel nothing. Only fire in my head."

  Leonora stood up and went to the girls. She had become her usual self now – serious and rational. "Girls, we will need help. First, we have to wrap him with a blanket of some sort. He has fever and has a broken leg, so a stretcher is also a good idea, or he won't be able to move."

  Lily said, "I can bring the blanket. I just need to remember where I can find one."

  Orange said, "I know where. I have one in my room, it's in the armchair in front of the window."

  Lily said, "OK. I will need a couple of minutes." And she went several steps away.

  Leonora looked at the curiosity in Orange's eyes, "You know that Lily can bring it here without going there, don't you?"

  "No, I didn't know that." She looked at her sister concentrating. "Do they learn that at the school?"

  "Yes, they do. That is, we do. And you will, too. Yet, Lily is especially talented in this. Your mom's speciality, that was. Professor Magpie loved your mom and she now loves Lily."

  In a couple of seconds the blanket was there, and with it, Lily had moved, unawares, a small cushion which was lying over the blanket in Orange's armchair.

  "Well, I'm not so refined it this, I guess." giggled Lily, seeing the cushion.

  "Not yet, but you will be soon." said Leonora and put the cushion below Elijah's head for additional comfort. Then the three went about the trees to look for a strong and straight branch to tie Elijah's leg to. Lily said, "Oh, why didn't I remember to kinetize a chainsaw or something? We could then make a stretcher, too."

  "Girls, now you go back to the house and call for help."

  Orange and Lily rushed towards the edge of the forest, not minding the chill which harshly cut across their faces. Orange could not feel her hands as they were icy and numb. Her coat was unbuttoned and the wind had caught her shawl which was streaming past her. Lily was running ahead, but when they reached the Christmas tree she suddenly stopped and looked back at Orange.

  "Orange, wait!" she said gasping for breath. "Button up your coat and fix your shawl. It's no good if we get ill, you know. Now, we have a lot to take care of. Aunt can't do it by herself." Seeing that Orange's hands were numb with cold, Lily went up to her and helped. When she wrapped her shawl good around her neck, Orange shivered. Lily could see that her sister's lips were blue.

  "Orange, baby-sis, can you say something? Tell me how you are." Lily spoke gently and was beginning to worry. Orange still stood there, numb and cold. For a couple of minutes, Lily considered what was to be done. Then she made up her mind and grasped Orange's head between her two hands. Orange's face was ice-cold, too. Lily put her lips on Orange's lips and stayed kissing her like that for several minutes. She was careful not to open her mouth and wet her sister's face, for that would have been a disaster. Lily hoped that the warmth of her hands over Orange's cheeks and the warmth of her lips will help Orange back to life. For some time Orange did not change. She just stood there expressionless and silent, not moving. Cold fear instilled in Lily. Will she lose them all? Her uncle lay unconscious and hurt in the forest, her aunt was alone with him there, totally unprotected, and her sister was on the verge of turning into an icicle. Not losing the touch, Lily rolled her eyes around, as far as possible, to see if nature was against them, too. Of course, in a December evening in the forest, nature was quite natural, and that meant all was cold, hostile, white with snow, but dusk was getting deeper and colder. Even the Christmas tree glowed in a ghostly and depressed manner. Feeling a shocking lack of breath, Lily let go her sister and she fell to the ground. Gasping, Lily tried to hold Orange up and did not succeed. Orange stumped in the snow and she seemed asleep. Lily knelt down and felt the wet snow getting through her leggings and gloves. In a second, she was wet and cold. For a moment panic gripped at her throat. All around was against her. She could not help Orange, she was to let down her aunt and uncle. Without any help she was alone, so alone and lonely. And her parents were already in the cold earth, she could not imagine how cold they must feel now. She sobbed remembering the last look of her mom and dad, in their coffins, the clapping sound of the lids closing and then the thump-thump-thump of soil being shoveled over them. They could not breath there, the earth was so congested and heavy.

  Lily, the new captain of the champion football team of George Reader's High School for the Gifted, was down.

  Orange, the younger daughter of the recently deceased Mrs. and Mr. Lemonpie, was deep in her final white sleep.

  Deeper in the forest, Mr. Lemonpie's little sister, was trying to keep the life in her husband who had fever, a broken leg and going in and out of consciousness every now and then, the periods of unconsciousness getting longer and longer each time. Leonora Hollis, nee Lemonpie was sad and somber, afraid for her nieces, worried about her husband and mourning over her brother, her parents and her sister-in-law.

  "Elijah, honey, how are you, baby? Please, talk to me. Tell me something, anything, whatever. Just speak." her voice turned to sobs. "Oh, we are so alone." S
he looked up towards the tree-tops and felt overwhelmed.

  On the ground, still leaning on the black tree branch, Elijah shuffled and groaned. Leonora rushed towards him, "Honey, how are you?"

  He tried to speak but just mumbled something. Yet, he opened his eyes and tried to smile at her. Leonora felt hope coming back. She held her husband tight and whispered, "Baby, don't go scaring me like this. Please, come back and speak."

  Elijah was coming back slowly. Leonora propped him to sit up. She took the straight branch and started tying it to his leg. Elijah moaned when he tried to move it.

  "Don't move." said Leonora. He whispered something. She leaned closer to hear. "The girls?" he said.

  "Oh, I don't know if I didn't make a mistake." said Leonora with a worried tone. "I sent them to the house to call for help, but I'm afraid they are too long. And I forgot to give them my tonic." she fumbled in her bag and took the flask out. Its contents glistened enticingly inside and she already felt warmth, just by holding it.

  Elijah was watching her. She caught his look and put the flask back in her bag.

  "Why don't you call him?" asked Elijah.

  Leonora avoided his look.

  "You think I don't know?" Elijah shook his head, "Take out your mirror. Call him." he insisted. "He can help. Who are the girls going to get? The nearest neighbours are too far. They can't drive and the phone was down the whole day. You should have called him right away." Having said so much, Elijah lay down again exhausted.

  Leonora hesitated. Then she cleared her throat and said quietly, "I didn't want to tease you. Not now. Not again. You have had enough today." She paused and as Elijah did not say anything, she added, "Maybe it was a good idea. Do you want me to call him?"

  Elijah just nodded with his eyes closed.

  Leonora stood up, took out a tiny flap-mirror from her purse and opened it. She spoke softly into it, "Sentenelus, come please. We need you. Elijah is hurt, I don't know where the girls are. Please, call help. We are here." and she held the mirror to all sides as if to show somebody on the other side their exact location. Then she waited looking in the mirror. Nothing happened; she could only see her own reflection in the dark.

  "Go to find the girls. I will be fine here." said Elijah with a calmer tone. "I feel much better now."

  Leonora looked at him with uncertainty and said, "I cannot leave you alone in the forest. You are hurt."

  Elijah said, "They are alone and they are our responsibility now. Let me have a drop of your tonic and go." Leonora gave him the flask. She did not know what to think and how to behave. Elijah took a drop and giving her back the flask, he said softly, "Leonora, don't worry. I know. I am not over-suspicious. I love you."

  Leonora was still hesitant what to say, "I... just... Well, you know that Sentenelus and I have been best friends since school. There is nothing else, nothing to worry about. I guess I didn't tell you about the mirror, because maybe you wouldn't get it as it is. I don't know. Perhaps that was very stupid of me. You... Will you forgive me?"

  "Forgive you? Baby, what are you talking about? I know there is nothing to worry about. I have known about the mirror and all the small flasks you get from him all along, and have never said anything, because I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable." He reached out his hand and caressed her cheek. "Now, go and find the girls. I have the feeling they are not OK."

  Leonora stood up and started towards the Christmas tree. Her torchlight made her path easy and she was still warm and excited, so she reached the clearing very soon and saw her nieces. She rushed to them and found they were breathing very slightly. Orange was in far worse condition. She was stiff and blue, while Lily's cheeks still had some redness in them. Leonora knelt by the girls and took Orange's hands in hers. They were like stumps. She had not taken her gloves and her fingers were stiff and icy. Leonora took some snow and rubbed it over Orange's fingers. She did it for some time, and then she took off her gloves and put them on the girl's hand. After that she turned to Lily, afraid that she might lose her. There were two of them and Leonora was alone. She took out her mirror again and opened it. It glowed and she saw Sentenelus in it. He was looking for her, "Ah, Leonora, there you are. We are on the way, don't worry. Professor Jennings arranged for medical team to come. I am travelling fast. Stay put and keep them warm. See you." and he disappeared from the mirror. Leonora was startled to see her own pale face staring back from the smooth surface.

  Leonora pushed Lily gently and tried to make her sit up. Lily moved slightly and opened her eyes. "I want five minutes more." she mumbled and went back to her slumber. Leonora pushed her harder, "Lily, sweety, you need to get up. No time. Orange is not well. Stand up and help me carry her."

  Lily opened her eyes again, this time tried to look around, could not fixate on her aunt's face very well, yet she made an honest attempt to sit up. She failed and went back to sleep.

  "No, you don't do that now." yelled Leonora and slapped Lily's cheek slightly. As Lily did not show any signs of waking, Leonora whispered, "Forgive me, Lily." and slapped her harder. Lily opened her eyes sharply and Leonora pulled her both arms and helped her sit up. Lily's look fell on Orange, lying prostrate on the ground already blue and not breathing. Her dull look cleared and fear showed on her face. "Orange! Baby-sis!" Lily made a heroic attempt to stand up, but her legs and feet did not succumb. Leonora helped and propped her to kneel beside Orange.

  In a couple of minutes, Lily was back from her deadly sleep, but Orange seemed beyond return. Leonora and Lily took snow and started rubbing Orange's hands and face. They pushed her, poked her in the ribs, rubbed her ear lobes, pinched her cheeks, and slapped her. All was in vain. Orange did not move, redness did not come back to her cheeks.

  Lily looked at her aunt helplessly. Leonora had nowhere to look. Now she was the oldest of all. Even Elijah was younger than her and he depended on her skills now.

  "I hope Sentenelus comes faster," she murmured.

  "Sentenelus? Professor Suthern is coming?" Lily asked in surprise, still rubbing snow over Orange and pushing her to sit up. "Professor Suthern? Does uncle know?"

  "Lily, your uncle asked me to call him. Professor Suthern has a lot of influence and means to assist us. Let's hope he is coming soon."

  Lily said, "I'd better bring a blanket or two over here. What is going to happen to Orange?"

  Leonora said, "Bring a blanket. I hope against hopes she will survive and be in one piece."

  "Do you mean that it may be otherwise?" asked Lily terrified.

  "Don't waste time and bring that blanket." said Leonora and, kneeling down besides Orange, forced a drop of her tonic between her clenched teeth.

  Lily stepped aside and focused on the blanket she knew had to be somewhere in her parents' bedroom. Her mom used to have one on a chair just to the left of the wardrobe. Hoping that it was still there in spite of her mom's lack, Lily wished the blanket over there, with Orange. To see it come made Lily hurt as she realized that objects outlive us. She also realized she had half hoped the blanket would have disappeared after her mom's disappearance, out of loyalty, or something. Of course, then the question of where to find another blanket would be standing with urgency. Emotionally, Lily was devastated, but her rational side triumphed. She was getting better at that.

  Some minutes later, Professor Suthern arrived on a snow jet and with him were a group of men on other jets with two stretchers ready. Leonora rushed towards Professor Suthern who hugged her warmly.

  "Where are the girls?" he asked hurriedly. The men with the stretcher had already seen Orange on the ground and a team went up to her. They put her on the stretcher with no further fuss and saying something to Suthern, left on their jet. Lily was confused. Were they not supposed to speak to her, too? Or, at least to her aunt?

  She approached her aunt and her teacher with the blanket which was useless now.

  "Hello, Professor Suthern. Thank you for coming." said Lily politely. Leonora said, "Sentenelus, Elijah is still
in the forest. Shall I take the boys to him, and you may accompany Lily to the house."

  Suthern nodded and pressed her hand. Leonora threw him a hurried and shy look and whispered, "Thank you, Sentenelus. I must tell you that Elijah wanted me to call you. I was not going to." She looked down. Professor Suthern blushed and said, "Leonora, you know you can always rely on me. Send my regards to Elijah. Wish him a fast recovery."

  Leonora was already leading the men with the other stretcher to the place where Elijah was waiting. She turned to Suthern and waved him goodbye, smiling. "See you, Sentenelus. And thanks a lot."

  Lily was alone with her favourite teacher and the blanket. Professor Suthern looked at her for the first time, saw the blanket in her hands and asked, "Miss Lemonpie, what with this blanket? Would you like me to carry it for you?"

  Since Lily was silent, he asked, "Are you OK? Can you walk? I will help you, if you don't mind. Come, lean on my arm." And he offered Lily his arm. She was still baffled and embarrassed. Slowly, Lily took the outstretched arm and gradually she leaned on Suthern with all her weight. She was trembling. "So good it's freezing. He'll never know. He must never know." was thinking Lily fervently. She threw a furtive look at Suthern's face and met his gaze. She shivered even more.

  "You must be freezing. How long have you been out here?" he asked calmly, not taking his eyes off Lily's face.

  She said, "Well, aunt and I came out right after we saw off the other guests, who left immediately after you. And you saw for yourself when Orange and uncle left."

  "Ah, yes, I did. It is a very long time. Let's hope that the medics will be able to help your sister." said he matter-of-factly.

  Lily was shocked, "What do you mean? Is it possible that they can't?" She pulled Suthern by the arm to a stop. He blinked and corrected his tone, "Oh, of course they will do their best. You should not worry for Orange. She is going to be alright. Let's take care of you now. You are shivering with cold. And your lips are blue."

  "Yes, I'm very cold." murmured Lily and thought very hard how he could see her lips were blue. "Take care of me." she repeated in her mind, dreamily. "Oh!" she said unconsciously.

  "What? What's wrong?" asked Suthern sharply. Lily could feel he was uncomfortable with the situation, too. "Well, if that is the case..." she thought, and pressed her body harder against Suthern. Thus, they walked and Lily went into reverie. It seemed to her that they walked for hours, while in fact they reached the house in a quarter of an hour. In front of the door, Professor Suthern said, "Miss Lemonpie, if you please, let me go. We have arrived at your front door."

  Lily opened her eyes, looked at the teacher, still dreaming, and she smiled to him. Suthern blushed in the light of the front light which lit the entrance.

  "But, Professor, surely you cannot leave like that! You must come inside and stay for dinner and warm yourself." As she spoke, she did not let Suthern's arm go. He blinked, swallowed and said, "Of course, I will come in. I have to wait for Mrs. Hollis and hear news of your sister and your uncle."

  Lily reached out to open the front door. She felt so much better now, all depression and solitude forgotten. Inside was warm, light, nice and smelled good. From the very entrance Lily could see the bright and beautiful Christmas tree. She felt her blood return to her body and she came back to her usual self.

  Lily invited Professor Suthern with a generous gesture and showed him where to hang his coat in case he wanted to. She, herself, did not feel like taking it off yet, for the cold outside had made her crave fire and blaze. She looked at the fireplace - it was dying. Professor Suthern followed her look and said, "Would you like me to rekindle it?" He pointed to the fire.

  "Yes, please." said Lily with surprise. "I didn't know you could."

  "Your father and grandfather taught me, in fact. I used to be a frequent visitor at their place." said Suthern and smiled.

  "Oh yes, I forgot." smiled Lily. "Do you know where the wood is?"

  "I think so. This house resembles your grandparents' house very much. Perhaps you have noticed." answered Suthern.

  "Sure," said Lily. She did not know what else to say, so she went to the fireplace and sat down on the couch in front of it. Suddenly she felt so weary. Professor Suthern went to the shed to take some wood for the fire. By and by Lily fell asleep.

  She dreamed, too. Her dream was really confused. She saw her parents, Buster, uncle Elijah and Professor Suthern. It seemed to her that her aunt Leonora was not there. Buster's presence in Lily's dream was surprising. He spoke something to her father and they laughed. Lily's mother seemed indifferent and just stared outside some window, as if she was waiting for someone or something. It was getting warmer and warmer. Lily felt uncomfortable. Her mother seemed hot and stressed. She still did not speak to anyone in the dream and then all the rest went out of the room. Lily's mom began to weep. Lily wanted to go to her and soothe her. She tried to move and put her arm around her mom's shoulders, but was not able to. Then it became even hotter and Lily started to choke. She could hear the sound of burning wood and smelled it in the air. Then there were soft voices and a touch on her shoulder shocked her back to reality. She opened her eyes to see her aunt leaning over her, smiling warmly. Lily sat up and looked around. Professor Suthern had rekindled the fire, aunt Leonora was back and they were sitting in the two armchairs next to the couch, facing the fire and talking. It was their voices that Lily had heard in her dream. But who was her mother waiting for?

  "Where is mom?" Lily asked, somewhat baffled.

  Before she could come back to her senses, she was nervous to see a teacher of hers and her aunt sitting snugly in their living room, but no trace of her own family. "And dad? Are they around?"

  Then she saw her aunt's worried look. Professor Suthern stood up and went to his coat. He came back carrying a flask. That rang a bell. That small flask, just like the ones her aunt would use in the forest where they had gone after Orange and uncle Elijah, who had left ... the afternoon snack after their parents' funeral. Lily closed her eyes as the idea sank deep. Tears ebbed in her eyes. Her aunt was still looking at her.

  "So, it is true, then. There was a funeral. And it was today."

  Her aunt nodded.

  "Whose funeral was it?"

  Suthern and Leonora exchanged worried looks. Leonora said carefully, "Honey, today we buried your parents and your grandparents."

  Lily looked in disbelief. Then, the truth she had forgotten slowly came back.

  "What about Orange?" Lily asked. Looking at Professor Suthern, she added, "And uncle Elijah?"

  Professor Suthern spoke, "Your sister and your uncle are in hospital. They got injured in the forest. Do you remember that they went out earlier in the afternoon? Then, you saw the guests off and went after them? And then you called me and Professor Jennings to help. So, I came with some medical teams, who took your sister and your uncle away." Suthern spoke slowly and carefully. He paused to make sure Lily understood everything.

  Obviously, Lily understood it all too well. She stood up and asked, "Where are they now? Can we go and see them?"

  Suthern said, "We are supposed to call the hospital later tonight. If they give us green light, we will go and see them."

  Lily calmed down somewhat. She looked towards her aunt, sighed and said, "Well, shall we have dinner now, then? I mean 'now'? Professor Suthern, you are staying, right? I must admit that I really fear the possibility that we two remain alone."

  Leonora put out her arms and drew Lily to a hug. "Yes, dear. We are having dinner now. Sentenelus, will you help me, please?"

  Professor Suthern nodded, but Lily jumped, "Why not me? I can help. Professor Suthern was kind enough to come and help. We can't make him do the chores, as well. Not anymore, anyway," she added smiling remembering that he had already rekindled the fire in their living room, which was quite hard work, in fact. She waved her hand towards the armchair and said, "Please, Professor, sit down."

  Professor Suthern smiled and obeyed. Lily joined her
aunt in the kitchen, where they had a lot of piled plates and bowls from the afternoon to take care of.

  "Duh!" grunted Lily. "All these plates. We'll never finish."

  Leonora looked at the plates and said, "Don't worry about those. We'll just push them to this side and go about our dinner. I'll take care of them later."

  There was plenty of food in the fridge that just needed to be warmed up. Soon, a pretty nice dinner was ready and served. Professor Suthern opened a bottle of red wine made by uncle Elijah. Uncle Elijah was a wine-lover and wine-maker. Recently, he had improved a lot. For this Christmas the Hollises had brought a whole crate with them. The crate was still where Elijah had put it, next to the fridge.

  The three of them sat and had dinner in silence. Lily was allowed to have a glass of wine. She did not like it very much, yet she felt it polite to say that it was magnificent. Professor Suthern smiled and brought her a new glass full of water where he poured a droplet from another flask he took out of his pocket.

  "Alcohol-free cocktail to make you feel good." he said. It was really much better than her uncle's red wine. The living room was warm and nice, the fire was burning peacefully and the Christmas tree was still beautiful and solemn. Lily was trying to be polite and not too sad. She was thinking of her mom and dad, of Orange, of her grandparents and uncle Elijah. She felt awkward having dinner at her parents' Christmas-decorated living room with her aunt and her old boyfriend. Well, not quite a boyfriend, but still...

  "Aunt, I would like to know if we are going to a hospital to see Orange and uncle Elijah."

  Professor Suthern went outside to call the doctors. In a couple of minutes he came back and said, "Leonora, I suppose you are with your car."

  Leonora nodded, "I hope you have the neutralizer with you." Professor Suthern took yet another flask and Lily's aunt took a drop of some liquid that was supposed to neutralize the alcohol she had had. In five minutes they were ready to go. The effect of the cocktail Lily had drunk was beginning to wear away and she was getting cold very rapidly. It was a very good thing that the Hollises car had a working air-conditioning, for the night outside was especially chilly. "As it is supposed to be around Christmas." thought Lily to herself.

  Leonora took the Hollises' car out of the garage and Professor Suthern and Lily put on their coats and went out to get into in. The moment Lily was outside, she felt great reluctance to go. In the frosty December night, it all came back to her – the terrible experience in the forest earlier that afternoon, the fact that her sister had fallen asleep in the snow never to wake up again, as it seemed at the time. Lily craved the cozy warmth of their living room, and even the comfort of her bed. She realized that since she had arrived, she had hardly had any time to rest. Given the circumstances, that was normal. Yet, she was beginning to feel the exhaustion – both emotional and physical. Lily slumped at the back seat of the car, not capable of any extra thought, motion or emotion. Her mind was blank and she even did not have the power to like it. There was nothing in her head, nothing at all. Buster had told her that guys often felt like that and it was not a mockery at girls when they were in that condition, and certainly, it was neither a lie, nor a posture. Boys, obviously, did not exercise so much in consideration or reflection as was the habit of girls. Of course, Lily had heard that before, but never believed it. She had always thought of it as a convenient excuse. The she heard it from her mom, yet not referring to her dad. He was quite the opposite, in fact. Mr. Lemonpie was great at showing his feelings and emotions, he was approachable and they used to discuss a great deal about emotion, attitudes and feelings, not only in specific situations, but in general, as well. Yet, Mrs. Lemonpie had vouched for the fact that men WERE not very emotional and more particularly - not very keen on showing their emotions, or their soft side, for that matter. Lily had heard it from aunt Leonora occasionally, as well, even though she was not referring to HER husband, either. Finally, Buster had testified totally in agreement with that, and Lily had no good reason to doubt his sincerity. "Oh," she thought, "Buster, my lovely strong boy." Lily regretted everything that had occurred to interfere between them and she blamed black destiny and cruel fate for her misery. She could have been with him now, her parents and grandparents could have been alive and enjoying their dinner and uncle Elijah's red wine, and Orange could have been warm and happy with the holidays and the many people who were there to love her and show it. In a couple of days, Lily would have arrived home and the holidays would have passed as usual.

  Or, maybe, she was being too selfish. Lily looked at her aunt who had lost her parents and her brother in one and the same moment, and was afraid she might lose her partner, too. And yet, aunt Leonora was trying to be cheerful and nice, she was careful not to push Lily too hard or offend her. Professor Suthern sat in front, next to aunt Leonora and Lily thought they made a nice couple. As if able to hear that, Professor Suthern turned back towards her and asked, "Or, would you prefer that I sat over there with you?" Oh, Lily would surely have preferred that to anything else. Yet, she was too embarrassed to say as much, and simply mumbled something incomprehensible. To have Professor Suthern sit next to her on a ride of infinite duration, was like a dream come true to Lily. Of course, she could think of other, more mature dreams than that, but they embarrassed her.

  Aunt Leonora made a gesture to Suthern to go at the back. He moved and sat next to Lily. Aunt Leonora drove off.

  They drove for what seemed ages, before the car really warmed inside and Lily had doubled up with cold, shivering in her coat. Professor Suthern was looking out of the window in the opposite direction. Aunt Leonora did not speak, either. Suddenly disturbed by that silence, Lily said, "Auntie, why don't you turn on the radio? I'm getting tense in this silence." Leonora just nodded and switched the button. The radio was playing soft music. Professor Suthern said, "Ha, Leonora, do you remember that?" Aunt Leonora looked at him in the rearview mirror and smiled, "If I remember that? Oh, Sentenelus, I have never forgotten it. It was marvelous." Lily felt very uncomfortable with that intimate exchange of lines between the two, but did not dare to say anything. Instead of that, professor Suthern spoke, "One winter holiday, just after New Year, we went away from school. This same music played on the bus then. It was a magnificent trip. We went skiing for five days. Can you ski, Lily?" asked Suthern. Lily could. But not very well. Suthern continued, "It is very pleasant, once you manage to keep on your skis most of the time." Leonora laughed, "Which was not the case with me, then."

  "But you got much better towards the end," said Suthern lovingly. "Yeah," agreed Leonora, "while you never learnt." Lily looked at him in surprise, "You can't ski, Professor?"

  "No, I can't," he admitted.

  "What did he enjoy, then?" thought Lily and guessed she knew the answer, but did not say anything aloud. Yet, Professor Suthern, as if anticipating her question, said, "You know, Lily – there are other things to do when on a ski holiday." And because Lily did not seem to know, he went on, "A sleigh, for instance." Lily was shocked. She decided they were intimate enough already, besides she was tired, so she asked him directly, "Professor Suthern, do you read minds? I'm afraid you're reading mine and I feel rather uncomfortable." Suthern turned aside to face her and said sincerely, "No, I can't. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad. I can't do that, I just guessed your question, that's all. In fact, everybody asked the same question after the holidays. When I said I was happy and I'd had the best holidays in my life, they all said, 'How come? You never skied.' As if that mattered at all."

  Lily pressed on, "So, what mattered?"

  Professor Suthern was not disconcerted, as she had expected. He just shrugged his shoulders, "What happened in the evenings mattered." Lily smiled, glad of his sincerity. She even giggled in a low voice. Suthern was still turned towards her. He said, "Aren't you going to ask about the details?" He obviously enjoyed the conversation. Suddenly, Leonora said, "We should arrive any minute now." Her voice was sharp. Professor Suthern kept his silence. He just look
ed at Lily and smiled reassuringly. Lily got startled by her aunt's voice and all her worries came back to her. Besides, it was already close to midnight and they were all extremely tired.