There was only silence and our breaths that seemed to separate us as I took in the words that seemed like they not only came out his mouth, but bled from the depths of his soul too. I didn’t understand the intensity, or why he was here in the middle of the night. All I knew was what he was saying, and how it felt hearing it. And like he had just said… it felt real.
“I think this is the part you tell me to leave you alone.” He smirks, like he’s trying to lighten the mood all of a sudden, but I can’t escape the words he’s spoken. I won’t let him this time.
“If what you’re saying is the truth Pax, then why are hiding here in the dark telling me in secret?” I whisper, causing him to stand and take slow measured steps towards me again. And with every step closer, the anticipation only builds. He cups my face, his fingers sprawling beneath my braid and I swear I feel like every nerve on my skin springs to life toward his touch. Then he whispers.
“You called me Pax.”
I swallow roughly. “It’s your name isn’t it?”
He shrugs, his eyes still intent on my mouth, as he takes his lip beneath his teeth like he’s holding onto any control he has left.
“Maybe I like the way it sounds coming from you.”
Any second - with my chest rising rapidly, brushing his as it does - I think he’s going to kiss me again. No, scrap that. He looks like he wants to devour me. It’s scary, it’s thrilling, and it’s all too consuming that I feel like I can’t take another second of it. And as his face descends towards mine, my eyes close, feeling every inch of closeness and feeling his warm breath skate across my skin. But when his soft lips offer a barely-there kiss on my cheek, and I feel the burn like he’s branded me – it’s not nearly enough to quench this desire that I feel overwhelming me. There’s a voice in my head that’s telling me this is wrong, but as my hands fist his shirt, and I hold my breath waiting for his lips to leave my cheek, all I can do is feel. And feel is something I have sheltered myself from since the time I copped my first backhand. I made myself not feel for what seems like an eternity. But never in my years had I come to life, like the way I was at this exact moment. My entire body hums for Paxton in a way I’ve never felt before. I don’t understand it. I couldn’t even describe what this was simmering between us, but nothing clear can make its way to my brain as his lips finally find their target and touch mine. Like before, this kiss is intense. It’s severe yet soft, and as his tongue begins to ravish mine, I feel the entire universe sink beneath me. I feel metal on his tongue, as he coaxes my mouth to join his. I’m floating, holding onto him with everything I have, pressing myself against him in the hope he won’t let me fall. He plasters his body against mine protectively, his head tilting, as he tastes every inch of my mouth with his. It’s suddenly so hot in here, like this entire room is the inside of a volcano. I’ve never felt half of what I’m feeling right now in my seventeen years, and it terrifies and turns me on more than I could have ever imagined something could. Only when I feel him slow his rhythm and reluctantly pull back - do I open my eyes. Finally realising that I am still standing on the floor, and not floating on the ceiling like he just made me feel I was.
“Thankyou,” he whispers, pressing the sweetest kiss on my nose, almost making me blush. Sweet and Paxton Reed are not two things you could ever associate with one another.
I shake my head. “What are you thanking me for?”
“For letting me stay here tonight.”
My eyes widen, suddenly worried that maybe the intenseness we just had was only his idea of the entrée and he was thinking I’d be up for the main course. But before I can comment, he laughs shaking his head freely.
“Calm down new girl, I’m not about to take advantage of you. Unless… well, unless you want me to that is?” The arrogant smile on his face, was hard not to find sexy, but I continued shaking my head.
“We can’t. You can’t….”
“I can’t is right. I can’t go out the way I came because I’ll be on the monitors after your floors curfew. What a predicament,” he smirks again, tugging my braid playfully.
“But I thought you were king around here and could get away with anything? I’m sure I’m not the first girls’ room you’ve been caught leaving after hours.”
The sorrow on his face only crosses for a second, but I nod, understanding what it means instantly. “Probably the first girl on this floor though right? The scholarship floor with the lame curfew.”
He tilts his head to the side tugging on my wrist until I’m pressed closer to him. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Oh, so I’m not the first scholarship girl you’ve been... with.”
“You are. The first.”
I huff smugly. “Because the god of the academy wouldn’t be caught dead with someone so lower class right?”
“No. No you aren’t right,” he snaps, crushing me to his chest. “I’ve never given a fuck before. Girls were a means to an end, and that may make me sound like an asshole, but it’s the truth. I have enough to deal with without making real connections or promises to anyone just to have everything ripped away anyway.”
Again, I’m floored by his honesty.
I pull back to stare at him, watching the sharp inhale and exhale of his chest, like he was recovering from a marathon with the heartache just cascading off him in waves. Which is the only reason I say what I’m about to. Well that’s what I tell myself anyway.
“Why don’t you just wait here, I’ll take a quick shower and maybe we can talk some more? I mean, if that’s what you want?”
He smiles too slowly. “It’s a start.”
I take a step away to grab my clothes and toiletry bag, letting my arm outstretch with the movement, only our fingers touching, until he regretfully lets me go.
“And while we’re at that talking thing, you can tell me how you got in here and if I need to change my lock!” I add, as I head into the hall with my things, hearing his deep chuckle as I close the door behind me.
And definitely ignoring the flutters in my stomach that like that sound way too much.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Paxton
“I told you, I have it handled okay. He gave me his word and I have the papers to prove it. He can’t touch her in there while I’m breathing.”
I grinded my teeth as I re-hashed yesterdays’ events with my sister, knowing too well that she was just as concerned about mother that I always am. She wasn’t my biggest fan most days, but she knew that I protected our own and our mother was the highest on that list. Always had been. There was just one more person weaselling their way to the top of it now too.
“I promise. I made a deal with him about this thing with the Westwoods. But I just need some time for him to forget about her in there, so I can get mom secretly moved at my request, get my inheritance and then I can drop all this shit and we can get the fuck away from him.”
That was my big plan.
I told him I’d push forward with Amber, and the trade-off was for mom getting the fuck away from him without his control. Once I know he thinks I’m in-line, I’ll get her secretly moved to a facility he won’t be able to find her and where I know she can get better without his bullshit. My inheritance comes in a few months when I turn 21, and there is nothing he can do about that. I made sure of it. After that, I will finally tell him to fuck off. He knows how much mom means to both me and my sister, and if I were to fall out of line, I always worried what he’d do to her. The first time was middle school when I didn’t want to be friends with Banks, because let’s face it, he was a lot to handle back then and I was a pretty quiet kid. And when I refused telling him I didn’t like him, that was the first time I saw him assault her. I may have been young, but I wasn’t too young to know that the sounds of her cries and flesh on flesh, was something she wasn’t enjoying. Years followed and it would be the smallest thing I would try and gain some power over, until he forced the alcohol, the drugging and more abuse on her. Now, she’s barely the same woman
I remember. Her eyes still look at me with love, but she can barely put coherent sentences together that don’t start and end with, ‘You’re a good boy Pax.’
I failed her in so many ways, that I wasn’t going to fail at this too. If I could get her help away from him, away from the dependence, then maybe she would start to resemble my mother again. It’s all I prayed for. I just had to hope I had it in me to see it through and that I was smart enough to make sure my plan worked out the way I’d planned.
The fallout from the Westwoods and Amber however, was step two on paper, as I needed to make sure Hendrix’s life was safe here. That, I wasn’t sure how I was going to pull off. But I needed to figure that part out quick smart. It was no use getting my mother safe if I couldn’t end the rest of it. I’d still be my fathers fucking pawn.
“Reed! Get your ass in formation!” Coach yells from across the pitch.
“Hey I gotta’ go. I’ll be in touch.” I hang up, pocketing my phone and jogging to join the rest of my team, ignoring the additional snicker from Coach as I slide in line beside Austin.
“Booty call couldn’t wait Pax?” Banks mocks from a few guys down the line.
“And go!” Coach yells again, causing us to start our line run. This is how we were spending our Sunday after the shitstorm of a brawl that happened after the game Friday night. It meant that for those who were hungover on Saturday, had to get up and do runs all day, and everyone else – well they missed out on their Sunday. And me…? Well, I knew that staying at Hendrixs last night was a mistake, and not the kind of mistake I regretted the next day after too much alcohol. It was a mistake because the more I get to know her the more I’m certain that I won’t get enough of her. And at the moment, that’s a huge fucking problem. But when I found myself opening up to her about my mother, there was that pull between us again that saw me not wanting to leave. The bullshit excuse I made about not being able to leave her floor without getting in trouble was all a lie. No one would bat an eyelid at a Reed leaving anywhere after curfew. No one on the staff was going to call my father – chair of the Academy Board – about his son’s misdemeanour. It was just an excuse so she’d be at ease with me staying there. But I couldn’t remember the last time I had an actual conversation with someone that meant more to me than what last night meant. I’ve always had to be the guy who had my fathers’ name. I never got to be this guy… Not that I really knew who I was, but I knew what I didn’t want and it was everything my father did. I didn’t go into detail, but it was enough that I felt her compassion and understanding. It wasn’t enough however for her to tell me about her family – a topic she perfectly skated around anytime I attempted to bring it up. But I know she’ll get there. In her own time, I wanted her to trust me. I needed her to like I needed my next breath.
“So, did everything work out with your mom?” Austin puffs as he jogs beside me.
I nod. “Just took longer than expected. I spent most of the day at the facility just going over everything with them.”
“And you’re confident that your father hasn’t left a loophole for him to have a say in what happens to her?”
“All checked out. I confirmed in writing that I’m the only one who has permission to speak for her and in everything that goes on in there. Had my lawyer check it over, who isn’t on fathers’ payroll but mine. They can’t fucking look at her without my say so. My father had to sign that right over to me, and I had the manager of the facility and lawyer witness it. He can’t touch her now. Not while I’m still breathing anyway.”
We turn at the end of the field and start our trek back to the other end.
“Well, that’s a good thing, right?” He asks, side-eyeing me like he can feel a ‘but’ coming on.
I sigh. “I just, I have to figure out when the right time is to move her from there. Discreetly ofcourse. I need to wait awhile until I know my father has almost forgotten about her there, and then I’ll move her somewhere he has no idea she is. After that, I’ll sort out how I’m going to end this connection with the Westwoods.”
“And without your girl getting hurt in the crossfire?”
I grimace at Austins’ comment, and can’t even manage a nod. This was the part of my plan that I still wasn’t confident about. There was no guarantee Hendrixs past wouldn’t still come out, and there was also no guarantee that Amber wouldn’t force my fathers’ hand to get her to leave either. Despite me legally being able to do this after my birthday – Hendrix’s future was something I couldn’t bear to gamble with.
“And do you have any ideas how you can make that happen?”
“Not a fucking clue.”
We pause at the end, leaning on our knees to suck in some quick breaths, before we hear coach holler, “Again!”
“And how’s everyone handling it?” he asks, as we take off again, causing me to side-eye him knowing the everyone he is referring to.
“She handles it like she does everything else. Like it doesn’t affect her. But I know it does…. Why?”
“Hey don’t start snarling at me. You’ve made yourself clear when it comes to your family being off-limits to us okay. I’m just asking because I’m looking out for you bro. I know how much you try and keep everyone together. I’m just having your back okay, so you can calm down.”
I didn’t even realise my fists were balling as I ran, until Austin pointed it out. I told my boys from middle school that my sister was totally off-limits to them. She was building her life and goals and I didn’t want our shit getting in the way of that. Of course she mistook my disinterest as literal disinterest, so our relationship has never been that great. But it was a risk that was worth it, because she’s turning into a smart, strong and more than capable human being and I know when she leaves this place – she will be successful in whatever she chooses. That’s all I want for her.
We’re quiet as we make another turn at the end of the field, until Austin asks, “So where were you last night? I didn’t hear you come in?”
I edged a cough uncomfortably muttering, “I was with Hendrix.”
Austin laughed, obviously thrilled in seeing me uncomfortable. “New girl? Really. Finally admitting you like her huh?”
“Nothing happened.”
“Really? You stayed there all night and nothing happened? What are you, twelve?”
“Funny asshole. It wasn’t like that.”
Austin was quiet for a little, as we neared the end of the field again, but just as we approached the white line he said, “Just, be careful with her Pax.”
We halt as we cross the line, sucking in some air while we catch our breaths, but my eyes narrow at Austins’ concerned tone.
“What business is she of yours?” I bite, not liking the burning jealousy that rises when I think of Austin wanting her. I know she wasn’t technically mine, but she as sure as shit wasn’t his either.
“Stop snarling at me like a damn animal! I’m just saying, she’s a good girl Pax. She’s… she’s different.”
Before I know it, I’ve stepped right up to my friend, breathing heavily out my nose as I stare him down. “Are we going to have a problem?”
He shakes his head, a huge grin crossing his face. “Man, I never thought I’d see the day. You are so hung up on this girl.”
“Answer. The. Question.”
“I do like her, but not in the way you’re thinking right now, so put your canines away. I’m just saying, with everything you’ve told me she doesn’t deserve to be put through more shit. Just think about it before you take your shitstorm over there. That’s all I’m saying.”
We turn and run our last line, as I think over Austins words.
“And besides,” he adds smugly. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you not correcting me when I called her your girl.”
He laughs as I shoulder him, not wanting to correct or refute him. Because the truth is, although I may not say the words out loud – I know how I feel when I’m with her. Austin’s right. She is different, and smart, and real, and
something I absolutely want to make mine. And last night, really cemented those feelings that I’d been trying to fight off. I’d opened up to her in ways that I hadn’t to anyone except Austin. To say it was terrifying what was at risk - was the understatement of the century; but I was beginning to realise it was more than worth it.
“That’s enough warm-up you pussies. Again!” Coach barks at us. I groan, but take off beside my teammates, letting Austins’ words sink in again. I know I didn’t want to cause Hendrix any more pain or even come close to upsetting her, and I knew that until I sorted out my next move - that’s exactly what would happen.
But could I give up something that made me feel the way it does – before it’s even begun?
That… I didn’t have the fucking answer to.
It’s a little after midday, when Coach finally says we have had enough. We’ve lost two of our offensive line to cramping, and our running back was chucking his guts up on the side line. He’s a partier who hasn’t learned from the last time Coach reamed us for fighting. Austin, Banks and I make our way to the carpark, tossing my sweaty shirt in my window, and throwing on a fresh black shirt before getting in.
“Yo Pax! We heading to the diner for some food?” Banks hollers hanging out the window of his silver Masarati.
Broken Wing (Arthur Academy Book 1) Page 20