Broken Wing (Arthur Academy Book 1)

by Kathleen Mareé

  “Hey, I don’t know your history, but he’s stupid if he doesn’t see how great you are.”

  She doesn’t answer, but I can’t help but wonder how this group is so intertwined. I didn’t know how Mercedes felt about Austin, and I didn’t know they had history – until now anyway. And I’d seen the way that Austin and Lucy were around each other which made me wonder if Lucy knew about that either…. Suddenly, this whole situation was getting way messier than what I was used to handling. And as lunch went on, I couldn’t help but glance over at the empty seat where Lucy sat. I missed her, which in itself was something I never had found with other people. But maybe she could try and help me figure out what was going on, or maybe it was better to just stay the hell out of it.

  “Hey, I’ll catch you guys later,” I mutter as I stand and carefully sling my ratty backpack on, decision made.

  Gabe and Mercedes mutter their farewells, just as Tucker reaches out for my arm and tugs me toward him. “Do you want me to come with you? We can finish our lunch together if you want?”

  I swallowed, placing a polite smile on my face. “Thanks, but I just want to go and see how Lucy is feeling. Rain-check?”

  He laughs. “Okay Hendrix. Rain-check.”

  I make my way to the main hall, forcing my eyes to stay on my docs and not someones table that I had to pass. I could hear snickers from Amber as I went, before Banks muffled her nasally voice by declaring he thought I was nerd-hot. I didn’t bear looking up. I sighed a breath of relief once I exited the doors and smiled politely at the few students I passed in the hall, before I felt a hand gripping my arm firmly and I’m pulled into an alcove off to the side of the hall. I’m seconds from screaming, when the woody scent fills my nose and I’m flush against a body I’m semi-familiar with.

  “What the…. Paxton you scared me.”

  “Fuck, I know Hendrix. I’m sorry.”

  The way he tensed when he said it was like he was suddenly hit with an ice-cold bucket of water. I wasn’t sure what that reaction was about, but I shrugged away from him, and pressed as far against the alcove that I could.

  “Is there a reason you’re pulling me into dark shadows and not just saying hello like a normal person?”

  “I can’t… that’s not…” he stutters, before slamming his head back onto the opposite wall. “Fuck this is hard.”

  I find his body language annoying after how open he was the other night so I reply, “What’s so hard? It’s not hard for Banks to joke around with me, or for Austin to be my friend. And it’s not hard for you either when we are alone. So, I really don’t understand what this is about except for the fact that you are what Tucker says you are.”

  At the mention of Tucker, his eyes narrow to slits and his angles his head slightly down to look at me. “Oh yeah, and what’s that?”

  “That you only care about yourself. And that you don’t want me to be your friend, and being seen with me is just too much risk for your perfect reputation.”

  “Is that what Tucker thinks is it…?” he grinds.

  I take a solemn breath.

  “It’s what I think.”

  The silence stretches for moments, as we just stare at eachother in some battle I don’t understand. He glances away into the hall for a moment, just briefly, before quickly taking my hand and putting his face a breath away from mine.

  “You may not understand what’s going on. But the other night… Everything that happened that night. You… You know me Hendrix.”

  “What?” The intenseness of his gaze and the quiet edginess in his voice, worried me so much that I barely understood what he was telling me. It almost seemed like a warning or something.

  “You know me. This… thing, is real to me. Just, never doubt that.” Before I can comment again, his head turns back to the hall before the desperation that was just dripping from him, shifts instantly to cool indifference. He sighs, adding under his breath, “And I hope you remember that.” He slightly shifts his body so we are a little more in the open before his gaze comes back to me more-steely than before; his solid arms folded firmly across his wide chest. And me? I’m left confused with my brows raised, and mouth open - speechless at his erratic behaviour.

  “You’re right about one thing.”

  I don’t answer. Still can’t muster a reply, caught too off-guard by whiplash in the last few moments. I just wait on baited breath for him to continue, and hold on to whatever ride he’s taking me on right now.

  “I don’t want to be your friend.”

  The tug of his lip beneath his teeth, makes my heart race, but he ruins any possible thought that he may have meant more than a friend, when he adds, “What I don’t understand is why you are letting Tucker sniff around you like you’re top-grade meat.”

  “What?” I shriek, turning my angered eyes on him. “I’m not letting him sniff anything. He’s a friend.”

  “Yeah, you told him that? Because every time I turn around you’re playing doe eyes at him, leading him on and letting him touch you like you’re his whore.”

  I felt slapped. I stared, wide-eyed at him not believing my ears, which is why I muttered the same thing to him in a low breathy voice I barely recognised. “I can’t believe you just said that to me.”

  Again, that conflicting emotion in his eyes was there, but the snarl on his lip, his posture and his words were all I could focus on right now. But I would not be pushed around, especially not by him.

  “You know what? It’s none. Of. You’re. Business. Whose whore I am,” I bite more firmly than I thought possible.

  His nostrils flare at my defiance, before he leans his head toward me. “You know, I didn’t think you were this type. The sucking up, trying to get in everyones’ good graces type. Turns out you’re exactly like the other wannabe scholarships we’ve had here.” He runs his gaze over me from top to toe, causing an uneasy shudder to follow in its’ path, before finding my eyes with his steely gaze once more – going in for the kill. “But even you’re not good enough for me to use for a good time. Not even once would I touch you.”

  SLAP!

  Before I even realise what I’d done - I’d slapped him. The echoing sound of my palm on his cheek bouncing off the shiny floors like we were on a stage in an auditorium. I gasp, both at the shock of my reaction and the guilt of me lashing out violently. After everything I went through, I wasn’t that person. God, I wasn’t that person!

  “I’m sorry, I, I didn’t mean that,” I muttered shamefully, turning my watery gaze on Paxtons, shocked to see his sorrow actually matched mine. Which after what he just said to me, didn’t make any sense at all.

  “I’m sorry too. That you ever thought you would fit in here. With. Us.” He punches every word to me like he’s making damn sure I understand he wants nothing to do with me, which again contradicts the way his eyes appear to be saying the complete opposite. But it was clear, that I really didn’t understand anything. Maybe I was too naïve. I mean, a girl like me? What did I know about playing in the lions den. Nothing. And this person before me now, who was showing his true colours right now – was nothing like the person he fooled me to think he was.

  “I never wanted to fit in with you. I just wanted…”

  “Wanted what?” he snaps, putting his head closer to me, again the grind of his jaw contradicting the sorrow in his eyes.

  “I thought I saw you,” I whispered, but it only causes Paxtons teeth to almost shatter, before he lets out an arrogant laugh.

  “I let people see what they want to new girl. And trust me when I say, there is nothing at all here for you to see. And there’s nothing I want to see either. Got it?”

  I can’t help the lone tear that leaks from my eye, and after turning toward the hall I’m shocked to see Amber and her crew across from us, along with Austin, River and Banks as well. I don’t take the time to see the gloating or the snickering, I just run. As pathetic as it is, I was vulnerable before Paxton Reed, but I won’t let these people see me like that too. I c
ontinue out onto the lawn, and head toward the dorms, forgetting all about what I even left the cafeteria for.

  And why Paxton would even have asked Austin to keep an eye on me from getting hurt…

  When he was planning to be the sole executioner all along.

  Chapter Thirty

  Paxton

  I’m in a robotic state as Amber tucks under my arm, and presses kisses on my cheek. Not even hearing the taunts she yells at Hendrix as she runs by, as all my eyes are capable of is nothing but stare after her as she all but dashes out the door. I keep my face cool. The mask I’ve been taught to use my whole life in full force, and I let the actual emotions eat me alive on the inside. I put one foot in front of the other, not really seeing my surroundings, except that I’m headed back into the cafeteria. I just pray like hell that Hendrix will understand once this is all over. If there is any hope for me after all, I fucking pray she will understand. But I know I don’t fucking deserve it.

  I automatically sit down, and pull out my phone, again not seeing anything in detail but just trying to keep myself busy. Amber tries to sit on my lap, but I don’t move my hands disguising my attempt to keep her away by fiddling with my phone, so she huffs and sits beside me instead.

  I’ve never felt like my fathers’ son, until this very moment. I’ve never felt like such a fucking disappointment than to watch the beautiful face of someone who has already been through hell, crumble because of something I caused. And to someone I actually fucking cared about more than I ever thought I could. To someone I wanted to be real with for the first time in my life.

  A someone I absolutely hurt and humiliated.

  Just like I had to.

  “I give her a week before she’s out of here,” Amber mutters, pressing her mouth near my ear. “Nice to know your making our union solid now Paxy. I couldn’t very well have you running off to her all the time, now could I?”

  And that was the point.

  I wasn’t in control when Amber went to my father to express concerns about a certain scholarship being a distraction, and I wasn’t in control when Amber threatened to take Hendrix’s photos public. Right now – I wasn’t in fucking control and I was ready to burn this whole place to the ground. Starting with this leach pressed against my thigh.

  I force my eyes off my fumbling hands, pocketing my phone before I do something stupid like try and text Hendrix, catching Austins’ gaze across from me besides Banks. And without even noticing the rigidness of his body, his eyes tell me everything he’s thinking right now.

  He wants to flatten me.

  And if I’m being honest – he’ll have to get in line after I’m done.

  He’s become attached to Hendrix more than I like, but I know if I have any conversation about why he feels so protective of her – especially now – I’ll blow everything up in a split second. Don’t get me wrong, I trust Austin like a brother, and I’ve told him Hendrix is not fucking his to care for, but I still can’t hide from the feeling that if he did want to be with her, I’d be throwing down my bestfriend without even thinking twice about it.

  And the thought alone shakes my soul right to its very core.

  So, I narrow my eyes at him, and grind, “Later.”

  He understands, but he shakes his head angrily, and stalks out of the room.

  “What’s his problem? Is he hoping to score with new girl now she’s all sad and wounded, like a stray dog?” Amber goads, cackling, making my stomach turn.

  “What? Not fair! Pax tell him I had dibs on her! If anyone is getting wounded pussy it’s me not Austin.”

  Before I flatten my other friend, I shake my head. Reigning in any temper at all I feel flaring inside me like a damn tornado, and mumble, “Do what you want. She’s not my problem.”

  And it was the biggest lie I’ve ever fucking said in my life.

  I wanted her to be my problem. I wanted her to be my only problem. I wanted her to be mine. The thought came as quick as it went – but I felt it with every fiber of my soul. And that in itself was why what I just did…?

  Was so fucked up.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Hendrix

  I’d taken a shower and tried to hide my face from the other girls on my floor, as I made my way down the hall in my sweats and curled up on my bed. I could deal with being ignored, teased, or even ridiculed… I didn’t care what some spoiled rich-kids in this place thought of me…. But with Paxton? I can’t believe I actually thought he was different. I can’t believe I actually liked him…

  Liked him?

  He was just toying with me the whole time. Playing some mind game, that maybe him and his friends only understood. There was a reason I never relied on other people – because they always let you down. They always hurt you. And whilst he may not have hurt me physically like I was used to – he definitely got through my outer shell that I usually keep locked tight. I know he wasn’t mine, but he made me feel like he could’ve been.

  “Hendrix, girl can you open the door?”

  I hear Lucys’ whine as she politely bangs on the door. When she does it three more times, I realise she has nothing on Sheldon from Big Bang Theory, so sigh heavily and get up to open it.

  “Luce I’m really not up for company right now,” I grumble as I swing it open.

  She smiles softly when she sees my puffy face, but only swiftly hugs me before ducking in behind me.

  “That’s why I’m here. When you really don’t want company, that’s honestly the best time to have it. Come on, I brought everything we need.”

  She tips her bag upside down on my bed, and starts spreading out chocolate, candy, some face masks and a copy of the movie ‘John Tucker Must Die’. My brows raise.

  “Really? We’re doing this?”

  “What? It’s a girls’ rite of passage to have a night of pure indulgence after a shitty day. Besides, I feel like the worst friend ever, since I wasn’t there today to kick those assholes for what they did to you.”

  I almost laugh.

  Almost.

  She really had an easy way about her, that I was really, very thankful for. I slide toward her and sit on the edge of my bed, my hands automatically finding the packets of candy that were sprawled across it.

  “How did you know?” I mumble self-consciously.

  She glances up startled, but shrugs it off at the same time. “Things get around I guess.”

  I nod. It makes sense, I guess… Not that I cared what everyone thought of me. I only cared about what one particular person did a little too much, which is the reason I feel as unhappy as I do right now.

  “I don’t know why I’m so upset. I’ve handled way worse than being humiliated by some guy.”

  Her hand squeezes mine. “Yeah, but it’s not just some guy. You liked him and he hurt you.”

  The soft tone of her voice causes me to glance up at her through my lashes, and another tear leaks involuntarily down my cheek as her sincere gaze strikes me right in the chest. I could deny it. Deny her words that matched my own thoughts mere moments ago. The words were right there on my tongue, but the longer I looked at Lucys caring stare, the more I realised I didn’t want to keep hiding from people anymore. So, I just shrugged and shook my head sadly.

  “Stupid me, right? For liking someone so out of my league.”

  She scoffs loudly. “Out of your league? Girl. You are too good for him and he knows it. He’s an idiot for thinking he has to do some of the things he does. There are always other ways, but he’s just a god-damn idiot who doesn’t ask for help. It’s his way or no way.”

  Her annoyed tone surprises me as it almost sounds personal, so I shake my head regrettably, adding, “No, you don’t have to defend me Luce. It’s my fault. I mean, he has Amber in his life, and despite what I think of her as a person - I had no right to think there was more there between us. I’m not even that kind of girl Luce! I’ve barely even had a boyfriend, so what would I even know right….? It’s not his fault…”

  “Please.
Amber is the devil and trust me when I say, not everything is as it seems.”

  My eyes find Lucys when those words echo through my thoughts again. She’s yet another person who has said those words to me when I’ve been talking about Paxton. What the hell was that all about? Was I supposed to understand this? Because I didn’t have a damn clue.

  I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter what I think it is or was. It wasn’t right. It’s my fault for even thinking he was worth caring for. Not that I was, really…” I quickly add, feeling completely vulnerable. “I just, ugh, I just thought he was someone else Luce that’s all. I thought there was some connection there. You understand right?”

  “No Hendrix, none of this is right. I saw how he was finally opening up to someone and when things get a little complicated, he just throws it all away! He doesn’t have to be the one to take care of everything all the damn time. But he just never listens. I knew he liked you and he still, just shoots his mouth off because dear-old-Pax just thinks he knows it all,” she rants, her words hurried and emotional, and more than a little confusing as to where it was coming from. But before I can comment, she continues on like she’s opened a dam wall that can’t be contained. “Like he just thinks he can control everyone like they will just do what he says and when he says it. I’m so over it. It’s not enough that I have to listen to our father but to watch some of the bullshit that he does too - I honestly can’t wait to get out of here and get the hell away from my fucked-up family before I do something stupid again, or something I may really end up regretting.”

  I freeze.

  Pausing as I begin connecting the dots.

  “Luce. Did you just say our father?”

  Her eyes bulge, and she stills. “Hendrix…” she starts, but I stand cautiously as the words start sifting through my head, along with flashes of my time here.