Perfect Kisses

by Maine, Miley

  I walk away from the computer for a moment to think things through. I pace up and down watching as my email inbox starts to fill up with offers. I shouldn’t have put my email address on to so many websites, but I suppose this is the best way for me to find out what’s best...

  “Ooh...” All of a sudden, an even better offer pops up which draws me back to my computer. “That is good.”

  It’s a limited time offer though, which means I need to act fast. I can’t help it, this feels like the right move for me, so without holding back any further I hit the accept button and go through the process of getting the loan sorted. I feel lighter as I do this like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I know it’s going to take a couple of days for things to really sort out, but it’s done now. The process is starting, soon I will have everything in one place and organized.

  “The first step of the rest of my life,” I comment to myself, excitedly. “The first step to getting all of this done. And on New Year’s Eve as well. What a perfect start to a new fresh year.”

  I clap my hands together gleefully and switch my computer off. I really do feel incredible. For the first time in my life, everything is much better. I couldn’t be happier. After yesterday, I can’t believe how much my life has turned around for the better. I’m determined to keep going with this and have a much more positive future. This is an opportunity that I simply cannot turn my back on. If I do, I will always regret not making the most of what I have here.

  “What’s going on here?” I can’t help but ask as I descend down the stairs. “What is that lovely smell? I wasn’t upstairs that long, was I?”

  “Long enough for me to start cooking dinner,” Marc calls out to me. “I thought it might be nice for us to celebrate New Year’s Eve with something nice to eat.”

  “I am helping too!” Travis calls out, surprising me. I thought that he was still in his room, for anything he would have come to me if he wanted something. “I have been helping to cook.”

  “You have? That’s really great.” I head into the kitchen where I find them happily cooking together, much more like father and son than Ronnie could ever manage. Not that he has even tried. “Wow, that really is amazing.”

  Without even thinking about it, Marc strides across the room towards me and he hooks his arm around the back of my neck to kiss me. Travis doesn’t notice it, but I honestly don’t think he would mind if he did. He hasn’t ever seen me with a boyfriend, it’s never been anyone but me and my boy, but he really likes Marc and I’m sure he would be happy for us to date...

  I suppose we are officially dating now, since we’re living together, at least for the time being. We never really discussed that side of things, but I don’t think we can be around one another and not kiss. But that electrifying chemistry between us is too much to ignore.

  “Ooh, that was nice,” I say teasingly. “What did I do to deserve that?”

  “Well, even though we aren’t exactly going out anywhere tonight,” he declares with his hands firmly on my hips. “I thought this could be like our first official date. What a way to spend a New Year’s Eve, don’t you think?”

  God, he’s sweet, too sweet for words. I can’t stop myself from beaming from ear to ear. I feel like the cat who has got the cream, like I’m the happiest woman alive.

  “Sounds perfect to me. I might even go and dress up nice for it.”

  Marc nods and sends me on my way, taking care of Travis while I have a moment to myself to get dressed. Something that I haven’t had at all in the last few years. I feel incredible as I take a shower and I get myself all dressed up nice. I feel a bit like a princess heading out in the night to the ball rather than dinner downstairs. But I would rather be going to the dinner table in this house, than to any fancy ball. Here is where my happy ever after lies. And here is where it will stay unless I do something stupid and mess it all up somehow. I’m determined not to, but I’m scared that I will.

  “Not tonight,” I reassure myself happily. “Tonight, is going to be a whole lot of fun.”

  And I’m not wrong, it really is so much fun. We all don’t seem to stop laughing all night long. Even as we watch the fireworks on the television, and some out of the window, we can’t stop laughing and having a good time. It feels like the sort of happy, family time that I have always craved.

  It makes me think about the future, like really think about the future. I consider this being mine and Travis’s future forever. I know I made a big deal out of letting Marc know that it probably wouldn’t be a long-term situation, but now that we are here, I don’t know if I ever want to go anywhere else ever again. I like it here, it’s the closest place to a real home that I have ever felt. I suppose it helps that I’m living next door to the last home I was actually comfortable in, and this place isn’t too different, so it makes me feel at home, but still, I think the main reason I find this place more comfortable is because of Marc. He makes this feel like my home.

  God, how cheesy is that? How ridiculously romantic have I become? It wasn’t that long ago that I wouldn’t let anyone in, I never even had a friend because I was too scared, and now I’m actually considering a happy ever after with this man. He has really climbed under my skin and changed everything in my life.

  “Happy New Year,” he tells me softly once midnight has passed. “I’m so happy that you are here.”

  “Happy New Year,” I say back to him. “And I am too...”

  But I have to take a break from the romance for a moment because it’s time for me to get Travis to bed. He’s been so excited since being in Marc’s home, and he wanted to watch the fireworks, so I haven’t made him go to bed sooner. But now he’s practically falling asleep on the couch. I need to get my boy to bed before he collapses where he is.

  “I will be back soon,” I half whisper to Marc. “Then we can pick the date up where we left it off.”

  I hope he can see the twinkle in my eye, and he knows where that is going to lead. After the day I have had, I am lighter than air, ready to really have fun with the man that I have claimed as my own.

  “Sounds good,” he replies in a voice that lets me know he is feeling the same way as well. “I am looking forward to it.”

  A shiver races down my spine as I head up the stairs because I know what is waiting for me. I know my gorgeous man is excited for my return and that we are going to have a whole lot of fun.

  This really is going to be the best New Year’s Eve of my life. How the hell did I get so lucky?

  19

  Marc

  January 23rd

  I can’t get over how much I enjoy having Aisha and Travis in my house. I would love to have a little family on my own someday.

  Not that they are my family right now, and it isn’t like Aisha has made any hints on her staying with me permanently. It seems like she is still sticking to the idea of short term for now. But I can’t worry about the thought of her leaving, I have to enjoy the time when I have her here. And I really am enjoying every single moment of it. It’s absolutely wonderful having a house full to go home to. Especially when I get that beautiful smile from Aisha, and I get to hold her at night.

  I haven’t yet told her that I am falling for her. I keep wanting to, but I know it isn’t the right time. I know I have to wait until she is fully comfortable. She has settled in perfectly, but I think she still needs time. She needs a moment before I unleash everything on her.

  There is no rush anyway. I’m not too worried. I don’t think she’s going anywhere any time that soon. I hope not, anyway. I’m not planning on her going anywhere.

  Once I tell her that I’m falling for her, I think I may also let her know that I would like more than just a relationship with her. I would like our relationship to be more solidified. Much as I have felt like I am a part of Aisha’s family while she has been at my place, I can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to have a family of my own. I’ve never thought about children before, not really anyway, but now I can’t
stop. I’m enjoying spending time with Travis and I would love to be a father myself...

  I suddenly realize that my PA is staring at me like I have lost my mind, which drags me from my thoughts. She cocks an eyebrow and not towards my cell phone which is ringing loudly. So loudly I can’t believe I didn’t hear it before. With a redness staining my cheeks I grab my phone and hit the answer button.

  “Hello?” I answer rapidly while turning away from any eyes upon me.

  “Hey, Son.” I’m actually relieved to hear my father’s voice. I really could use a moment to talk to my only confidante. “I’m just calling to say hello. I’m sure you’re at work so I know you’re busy. I just feel like it’s been a while.”

  “It has,” I agree. “How are you doing? Have you all recovered from Christmas and New Year?”

  “It was busy, for sure, but we have all recovered now anyway. How about you? Did you have a good time?”

  “Hmm yes.” I have been holding off telling my father about Aisha and Travis because I don’t want him to get too excited, but I think now might be the time. Now things feel a lot more serious than they did before. “I have had some big changes actually. I was going to call you and let you know.”

  “Oh right, sounds big.” I can already hear the excitement in my father’s tone. “Spill the beans.”

  “Well, I kind of have a woman living with me now... a woman and her son.” I brace myself for the moment he massively overreacts. But he doesn’t. He just makes an agreeable sound instead. “They used to live next door to me, and we have had a thing going on for a little while, but circumstances have brought us together...”

  “There is nothing wrong with circumstances bringing you together,” he reassures me. I can tell he’s just glad because he is worried about me being lonely. “Some of the best relationships start with circumstances bringing people together.”

  “Hmm, yes...” I don’t know where else to go from that. He has thrown me a little bit. “So, yes that’s been happening...”

  “And how has that been making you feel? It must be a bit of a change having people in your house. I assume you have got used to living alone now.”

  “I like it,” I confirm. “I like having a lot of people around. It’s even making me think about having a family of my own...”

  “Oh, you are?” He sounds totally relieved. “I think that would be amazing. I’m sure that you would be an amazing father. You are just a type to be suited to it.”

  “Well, I have always had a good role model,” I remind him. “I have always had your guidance when it comes to being a father. So, if it does turn out that I’m good at it, it’s because of you.”

  His words, his confidence, it makes me feel a million times better about my decision. Just having him believe in me like this is incredible. It makes me feel so happy and it also makes the dream of me having a baby of my own that much more real.

  “Have you asked this mystery lady of yours... I don’t even know her name actually...”

  “Aisha,” I declare proudly. “And her son is called Travis.”

  Now I’m thinking about my father meeting them, about them all coming together and making my family even bigger. Since I have been on my own for such a long time, this idea is absolutely intoxicating.

  “Right, have you asked Aisha about what she thinks of having a child? You said that she already has one, so is she ready for another? You have to remember this isn’t just your choice.”

  “I haven’t yet. It’s just an idea that I’ve been playing with in my mind. But I will. As soon as the timing is right, I will, and I’ll see what happens from there. But I’m ready now. I’m really ready.”

  “That is so wonderful to hear. And I have to admit you sound much happier than I have heard you in a very long time. You always tell me that you’re happy, but to me even though I’m here in England, I feel like something must be missing. Now it sounds like you are the most complete you have been in a very long time.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. That’s how I feel.” I nod as I accept this. “I’ve always thought that I was happy, but now I really do feel it. There is so much difference in my life, and I’m happy about it.”

  “Good. Because you know that’s all I want for you.”

  We talk for a little while longer about this and I can practically hear the pride rolling off my father’s tongue. He is clearly over the moon with this new development in my life. To just know that I am ready for the next step and that I’m finally opening up after Chloe, finally ready to meet someone for real, and to consider marriage and babies... well, it’s big and he’s excited for me just like I am for myself. It’s nice to know that despite the distance we can still share our emotions. That part hasn’t changed.

  Eventually, we say our goodbyes and hang up the phone, and as soon as it’s done, I smile to myself and think about really putting that question to Aisha. I know now it might be too soon, I understand that it might scare her a bit, but if I just put the question out there and ask for an answer, surely it will be fine. I don’t intend to put any pressure on, I just would like to know what’s in her mind.

  I really do feel like Aisha is silently on the same page as me. We haven’t talked about it, but I can see it in her eyes. Neither of us are saying it, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. I had my gut instincts about Aisha and her feelings for me before, and it turns out I was right, so I think despite all of her walls around her I can read her well. I like being able to read her well, it makes me feel like I have a part of her with me at all times. Like I know her better than anyone else does.

  As I leave the office, I even head to the nearby flower store and pick up a bunch for Aisha because I want this day to be as perfect as possible. I want her to be as happy as me. I get take-out food as well so that we can have a relaxed calm evening together. At least we can when Travis goes to sleep. That boy doesn’t know calm... not that I mind. I love his constant stream of activity. I must love it for sure if I’m thinking about adding to it with yet another child! I just can’t help but hope that Aisha feels the same way. I would love it if she wanted a baby with me. That would be perfect, wouldn’t it? Just a dream come true. A real wonderful happy ever after.

  I get so lost in the dream that I don’t even notice a drama going on around my house until I practically pull up in front of the entrance. The moment I do notice it though, my heart literally stops beating. I have been planning for a calm and romantic night with Aisha, but I don’t think that’s going to happen since it looks like there are police officers outside my place.

  But why would there be police officers there? And they’re definitely outside of my house, it is completely obvious. I can’t even pretend to myself that they are visiting someone else.

  “Travis!” Of course, I instantly think of the boy first. After what happened before with him running off, my brain immediately goes to him. I park up quickly and jump out of the car, about to run in to my house when another sight stops me. A sight so shocking I don’t know how to even begin to process it. I even blink a couple of times just to check I’m not losing my mind. “Child Protective Services.”

  What the hell are they doing here? Now I’m really convinced that it’s about Travis, and I’m scared as all hell. I know I should go inside my house; I need to sort this out, but the fear has me frozen to the spot. I’m so terrified that something really bad would have happened. The worst. Last time we got lucky, but that might not happen another go around. This time... God I don’t even want to think about what’s happened this time. I can’t imagine it. It hurts my heart. My brain and unhelpfully comes up with the most horrendous images anyone could ever think. I shake my head, trying to make them go away, but they remain.

  Go inside, my brain screams at me, go and help Aisha., she needs you when things are like this, she wouldn’t have coped without you, don’t let your own terror get in the way.

  But still, I can’t move, I’m too terrified for anything. It’s like I have been encased
in ice and there’s no escaping from it.

  “Fuck,” I whisper to myself in an attempt to shake from the freezing spot on the ground. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

  I don’t have any personal experience with Child Protective Services, so I can’t think of any good reason why they would be here. I can only assume that there is something bad.

  I don’t know how long I stand in one place; it honestly feels like it is forever, but something eventually snaps in me and I finally make my feet move. It’s as if I’m walking towards my doom. Like I am walking in to end of the world. Willingly into the lion’s den. But I have to go, I have to head inside because Aisha needs me...

  20

  Aisha

  January 23rd

  “What is going on?” I cry out in sheer desperation. The agony must be radiating through my tone, they must be able to hear it, but everyone seems to be ignoring me. “Travis.” I want my son, but they aren’t letting me have him either. He’s with some woman from the CPS and I can’t work out why. “Travis, are you okay?”

  I can’t hear him, but I don’t know if that’s because I can’t stop screaming. I might be hysterical by now, but I’m sure anyone would be if their life was normal one moment and the next moment the police crashes and tries to put them in hand cuffs. I’m actually in hand cuffs, I can’t believe it. I haven’t ever done anything wrong in my life and they have tied me up like I am a common criminal.

  “Help me!” If this is some sort of practical joke, then it has spiraled the way out of control. It has to be that doesn’t it? Just something gone a bit wrong. My brain is desperately trying to come up with some sort of rational explanation, and that’s all I can create. A joke, a trick, something silly. But I’m not in the mood for laughter so someone needs to stop this right now. “Help me, get me out of here.”

  “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to calm down,” the police officer tells me firmly. “Right now, you are making my job impossible.”