Last Girl Standing

by Jackson, Lisa

  “Not that big of a deal?” Delta’s head shot up. “You would keep it from me?”

  “Of course not. I mean, it was just . . . it wasn’t a big deal. Just a little making out.”

  “On your parents’ pool table!”

  “Well, they were . . . playing pool,” Zora muttered.

  “That’s not what you said the first time. You said they were on the pool table!”

  “Playing pool on the pool table! Jesus. I don’t know, Delta. It wasn’t like that!”

  “What was it like?”

  “Not like that.”

  Delta wanted to believe her. She really, really wanted to. And Zora was trying to take it back now, but she’d been pretty clear before. She just didn’t like conflict. Delta could tell she was sorry for spilling the truth.

  Bailey said, “All I know is, Tanner was looking for you.”

  Carmen added, “I bet Amanda’s sorry for what she did.”

  All three girls turned to look at Carmen. They all knew that was undoubtedly a lie. Amanda Forsythe was rarely, if ever, sorry about anything. She was their uncrowned leader. What she said, went. If she didn’t like something, the rest of them didn’t like it, either. There was no feeling sorry . . . no ruing the day. Blond, regal Amanda was tough, smart, and uncompromising.

  Delta wanted to hate her, but Amanda was also fiercely pro the Five Firsts. It was mostly owing to her efforts that they were the most popular group of girls. Everyone wanted to be them. If Delta challenged Amanda, who knew what would happen next? Delta could be left out in the cold. Amanda had that much power.

  Didn’t mean she wasn’t a bitch.

  “It was nothing,” Zora said again. “Stupid drunk stuff. She just gave him a good-bye kiss, or something.”

  “That’s not what you said,” Delta reminded again.

  “I was a little drunk, okay? I’m sober now, though.”

  “Maybe you should talk to Amanda,” Carmen suggested to Delta.

  “Maybe you should talk to Tanner,” countered Bailey.

  “Oh, I’m mad at him, too, believe me,” Delta said darkly, though she wasn’t nearly as mad at him as she was at Amanda. She loved him. Without Tanner, she didn’t have a dream. A future. It was . . . frightening to think of what she would have to do if she lost him. “My mom’s picking me up. I gotta get outta here.” Delta squeezed past them to the door, and they followed after her.

  As she pushed through to the back parking lot, Delta saw Ellie O’Brien’s dark red hair . . . and Tanner’s blond streaked, longish surfer locks practically touching Ellie’s; their heads were close together, and they were laughing and talking and totally unaware or uncaring that his girlfriend was approaching. Delta’s heart lurched painfully. They were leaning up against Tanner’s dark blue Trailblazer, into each other.

  Delta’s fury instantly switched from Amanda to Ellie.

  “What the hell?” Zora asked, echoing Delta’s reaction.

  Ellie had turned on her personality for Tanner; Delta could tell. For someone usually so restrained and controlled, she was grinning like a goon at something Tanner had said. She didn’t even glance up and look at them—couldn’t tear her eyes from Tanner’s—even though Delta had stopped short at the top step and Carmen, Bailey, and Zora had nearly barreled into her.

  Mom’s Volvo wagon was idling a few cars from Tanner’s. Upon spying her daughter, Karen Smith put her arm out the window and waved Delta toward their car.

  “Hey . . . ,” Tanner suddenly called, his gaze finally ripped from Ellie’s to take in the four girls gathered, frozen, on the top landing of West Knoll High’s back steps. He straightened and moved past Ellie, who was half-blocking his way to them.

  Delta wanted to scream at him . . . shriek like a harridan that he was hers and he couldn’t flirt with other girls! She wanted to have an out-and-out fit, but she knew that would get her nowhere. She needed to be cool. Calm. Collected. The fun girl, not the snarling horror who made everyone raise their brows and silently ask, What’s he doing with her?

  And, above all that, she just wanted him to take her in his arms and tell her he loved her in that way that made her feel so safe. She swallowed, unsure quite how to handle this, wondering if her face looked okay. No time for new makeup. She hadn’t really believed he was waiting for her, so she hadn’t put herself together in the way she should have.

  Forcing a grim smile, she said, “My mom’s here,” as he headed her way.

  Tanner glanced around and hitched his chin in recognition at Mom, who gave him a short nod in return. Her mother didn’t share Delta’s love for Tanner. She wanted her daughter, her only child, to go to college and succeed. Both of her parents constantly talked about the importance of success. Smith & Jones was a success! They were successful people, and they wanted that for their daughter as well. Delta felt kind of small for thinking it, but she questioned just how much of a success they truly were. Her father had risen from near poverty to own his own business, and that was an accomplishment, for sure. But in the world Delta craved, there were a lot more steps to be taken beyond a business that barely supported three people. Smith & Jones was fine, but Delta dreamed of much bigger things.

  “Can I come over?” Tanner asked Delta now, the guilty look on his face telling her more than she wanted to know about how he felt about his behavior. Her heart sank further.

  But she really, really, really wanted to see him. Zora, Bailey, and Carmen were waiting with bated breath to see what she would do. Ellie’s animated expression had shut down as if a blind had been drawn over her face, and she was standing by, waiting to see how Delta played it, maybe.

  “Sure,” she said. Her smile felt like it was cracking.

  “I’ll be there in an hour, okay?”

  What do you have to do for an hour? It could be anything, she reminded herself. Sports training, most likely. He was religious about working out. “See you then.”

  “So, where’s Tanner going?” her mom asked once she’d slammed into the passenger side of the car after sauntering across the parking lot as if she didn’t have a care in the world. Her other friends were all climbing into Zora’s white Mazda. It made Delta feel a little bit foolish going home with her mother.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Something going on?”

  “No,” Delta said shortly. Mom was keeping her voice neutral, but Delta suspected her mother was hopeful there was trouble in paradise. She felt Delta’s obsession with Tanner wasn’t the best thing for her daughter.

  “What happened to your ride with him?” Mom asked now.

  “He has somewhere he has to be.”

  “Ah.”

  Delta didn’t appreciate the all-knowing “Ah,” but she managed to keep herself from sniping at her mother as that never paid off.

  They didn’t speak the rest of the way home, and as they pulled into the driveway, Delta despaired of the small, two-bedroom white clapboard house, built by her great-grandfather, that was nothing compared to Amanda’s and Zora’s parents’ palatial homes. It was amazing that Tanner, whose family might not be as affluent as Amanda’s and Zora’s but was way further up the economic scale from Delta’s, could even look at her. The Smiths were arguably the least wealthy of the Five Firsts’ families. Not that it should matter, but it did. Some. Delta had learned to purposely use her charm and personality to make up for what she lacked financially, and for the most part, it worked. She was well-liked, and she liked people right back. Maybe that’s what had won her Tanner. Where some of her friends could be anxious, bitchy, or downright cold, Delta always made a point to be friendly and nice, as if she were on top of the world.

  Well, at least that was the goal. Sometimes she felt as mean and infuriated as Amanda. She just hid it better.

  Ellie O’Brien could take a lesson, too, Delta thought with a sniff. There was a dark cloud over her head most of the time, and when she spoke, it was about all the things they needed to do to graduate and be good people and, oh, just everyt
hing. She was a born lecturer. Too judgmental by half... but . . . though she’d been flirting with Tanner, it was really Amanda who’d betrayed Delta.

  Before her mother could make her help with dinner, or pick up the living room, or come up with some other chore, Delta ran into her bedroom and slammed the door. She needed a few moments to pull herself together before Tanner showed up.

  Would they talk about Amanda? Delta wondered anxiously as she applied new lipstick and corrected the smudge of her eyeliner. How long had that black smear been at the edge of her eye? All day? She shuddered at the thought, how Amanda and the others might have been tittering behind their hands all day, no one bothering to warn her.

  Some friends.

  Tanner drove up about forty-five minutes later. She heard the roar of his Trailblazer as he approached; he’d done something to the engine to purposefully increase the loudness. She smoothed down her blouse. It was pink, which looked good on her, with her hazel eyes and dark hair, and she’d brushed a little bit of blush on her cheekbones.

  She came out smiling, greeting him at the door as he sauntered up the walkway. His face brightened upon seeing hers. She realized that, for all her forced cheeriness, she’d been as dark and dreary as Ellie all day, up till now. Okay, then. Showtime.

  “Hello there,” she greeted him.

  “Hi.” One word. Full of relief.

  “C’mon in.” She held the door, and he followed her inside. She would have loved to take him to her bedroom, where they could be alone, but Mom would never allow it. Dad was even worse, though he was still at the store.

  “Wanna go out to the back deck?” she invited. It was late April. Pretty iffy weather-wise this time of year, but Oregon was known to have a week or two of fabulous weather most springs, and each day this week had gotten better than the last. There was still a chill in the air, but the sun was out at least.

  They walked out together. The grayed teak furniture was mostly dry, but some slats held moisture from last night’s rain. Delta perched on the edge of her chair. She’d debated about whether to put on her good white pants but had settled for blue jeans—a better choice, as it turned out.

  Tanner was in jeans and the gray hoodie Delta had bought for him, a name brand that she’d saved for, putting away any extra money she made working at the store. It had been expensive, but it looked great on him, making his eyes even bluer.

  “Gotta go work out with the guys soon,” he said apologetically.

  “It’s Friday night. Supposed to be . . . our time.”

  She spoke lightly and pretended the words didn’t have as much import as they did for her. “Their time” seemed like a joke from an era that was out of step with current reality.

  Tanner launched into all the reasons he had to stay in shape to keep up with his football career. Though he didn’t say it, she knew he fretted he wasn’t quite tall enough to be a really great quarterback. He cited other shorter NFL quarterbacks who were doing well, but at barely six feet he was overshadowed by others who were six-five or even more. Still, he’d been offered a scholarship, so Delta wished he would cool it a little on the football obsession, at least for today.

  After a while, she brought them each a Sprite, but she barely touched hers while Tanner poured his down his throat. She was watching her weight and had made herself a rule that she wouldn’t drink calories if she could help it. All calories had to come from food she chewed.

  When he was finished, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and said, “Wellll . . . I’d better get going. We’ll catch up later?”

  Delta’s heart was beating hard, and her hands were trembling a bit as she thought about whether she should bring up Amanda. Was she going to? What if her questions made him mad? But she needed to know!

  They walked back through the house and then out the front door. At his car, she took a deep breath and asked quickly, “Did you kiss Amanda?”

  He was opening his driver’s door and jerked as if she’d goosed him. “Uh . . . no . . .”

  “No?”

  “No.” Then he mumbled, “Not really,” as it probably occurred to him there was no escaping the truth of the hot gossip surrounding him and Amanda.

  “What does that mean?” she asked sharply.

  “It means nothing happened.”

  “C’mon, Tanner.”

  “Amanda was just fooling around, and we were kind of wrestling.”

  “Wrestling?”

  “Just horsing around. You know.” He sounded almost angry.

  “Did you kiss her?”

  “I just told you. It wasn’t like that.”

  “Did you kiss her?” Delta stressed.

  “Did somebody say that?” he demanded, eager to spread the blame to the messenger.

  “I heard you were on the pool table together . . . making out.”

  “What? No. We were just . . . that’s not . . . who said that? Did Zora say that? She wasn’t even in the room!”

  Zora had said both. First, the story had been that they were making out on the pool table, and second, they’d shared a quick kiss good-bye on the way out. The second part sounded like Amanda had gotten to Zora, asking for the change of story. What mattered was that Amanda and Tanner had kissed . . . and it looked like it happened on Zora’s pool table.

  Delta wanted to believe they’d shared a quick peck good-bye, and nothing else had happened. She really wanted to. But “making out on the pool table” had a ring of authenticity about it, the kind of thing Zora just didn’t make up out of whole cloth. And anyway, her best friend and her boyfriend shouldn’t have been kissing at all!

  But it was Amanda’s fault. She was the one, not Tanner.

  “Did Zora say that?” he repeated, indignant now.

  “Do you know how it makes me feel to have the whole school know something happened between you two?”

  “Nothing happened between us. That’s what I’m telling you!”

  “It was something.”

  “Jesus Christ, Delta.” He jumped into the Trailblazer, slammed the door shut, and glared at her through the window.

  She wanted to take it all back. Pretend it hadn’t happed. Prostrate herself on the ground. Climb in the car with him and make love with him right in front of her parents’ house.

  She did none of those things. Just stood by forlornly as he burned away in a chirp of tires and the roar of his engine.

  Chapter 2

  Zora DeMarco drove Bailey and Carmen to their respective homes. The girls, each in turn, ran into their houses to dump their books, promised to do their homework as soon as they got back, then raced back to Zora’s Mazda. Carmen took the front seat. She always forced the smaller Bailey into the back, but Bailey didn’t seem to mind. She and Carmen were too tight to quibble over such small issues. Zora had accused them of being gay, and they’d just laughed. The truth was, Carmen kind of had a thing for Tanner Stahd—didn’t they all?—and she got all moony-eyed around him, which drove the rest of the Fives crazy, although Delta kind of smiled with indulgence, like she knew she had Tanner and the others could all go screw themselves.

  Zora said, “My parents are onto me, so we can’t break into their booze anymore. They took away my phone, too.”

  “That’s okay. I can’t drink. My dad can smell it on me,” Carmen said.

  “He can’t smell vodka,” Zora said.

  “He can smell anything,” Carmen insisted.

  Zora would have liked to argue further, but Carmen’s dad was Reverend Proffitt—the Reverend Esau Proffitt—as her father would boom out almost whenever he heard the man’s name. And it wasn’t a term of respect. Zora’s dad thought the Reverend Esau Proffitt was a hypocritical fake. Something about the reverend and a parishioner that none of the adults would talk about. Zora had even gone so far as to ask Carmen what the big secret was, but Carmen wouldn’t talk about her family. She had a brother and a sister, and was apparently the bad seed in between an older angelic sister and a younger, totally sports-mind
ed brother, both of whom had great grades. Carmen was smart enough but didn’t apply herself, so the counselor had said, and she was athletic enough to maybe play volleyball in college, if she had the mind-set, which she didn’t, if anyone had asked Zora. Carmen hadn’t been offered a scholarship like Tanner. She was “exploring her options,” as she was wont to say, which meant she had no plans set for college, like all the rest of them.

  Bailey said, “I thought you broke your phone.”

  Zora and Amanda were the only ones of their group whose parents had added their daughters’ cell phones onto their family plans.

  “I did. That’s why they took it away. It’s just not fair.”

  “So, none of us has a phone,” Bailey sighed.

  There was a moment of silence on that, then Carmen said, “I have Tanner’s number memorized.”

  “Hell of a lot of good that’s going to do us without a phone to call him,” Zora pointed out.

  “Why would we call him? He’s Delta’s boyfriend,” said Bailey.

  Zora snorted. Well, kinda. She felt a moment of guilt, then said aloud, “So, what are we doing tonight?” Friday evening was looking like an epic fail before it even began.

  “Let’s go to Amanda’s,” Carmen suggested. “That’s where they’re going to have the graduation party. I want to see where to stake my tent.”

  The parents and teachers had planned a supervised party for the upcoming grads; it was scheduled for a couple of weeks before graduation on the Forsythe grounds, where the kids could all camp overnight. Though Amanda’s parents had agreed to the use of their property, Amanda herself wasn’t all that keen on having the whole class at her place.

  “If there are tents, I’m in a tent with you,” Bailey chirped to Carmen.

  Bailey’s father was a police officer, Bob Quintar, whom everyone called “Quin.” Some of the kids in their class had tried to call Bailey by the same nickname as well, but she’d shut them down. Quin was her father. “If you call me that, I’ll look around for my dad,” she’d told them.