Amy's Forever Love

by Lyn Cote

  “But maybe after last night, I shouldn’t be taking care of the twins either.” She lowered her face.

  He gripped her chin and turned her face toward him. “What would make you say that?”

  A lone tear dripped down her soft cheek. “Well, I went into shock after Carrie called. Maybe I’m not stable either.” She tried to turn, but he held on.

  “Jake, I never told you this, but our mother, Carrie’s and mine, died in an institution. She was deeply depressed most of her life. That’s how Carrie and I ended up in foster care. Maybe neither Carrie nor I should be taking care of the twins—”

  “Stop speaking nonsense.” Jake gripped her chin more firmly. “Your being severely shocked by your sister’s totally out of the blue call and her threatening to take the girls from you is normal. And you’ve recovered already. You’re speaking rationally.”

  He let go of her chin and stroked her cheek, meeting her eyes with honesty. “I recall from my psych classes that a person can experience a trauma shock, which can have the effect you described. It’s sort of related to post-traumatic shock disorder but is limited to one event and is usually short-lived. Now I don’t want you to say that you aren’t one of the best moms I know again.” He tucked her closer.

  She snuggled into his shoulder. “Oh, Jake, I’m so glad you’re here. When I went out into the storm to get you, I had a terrible flashback to the worst night of my life.” She shuddered against him.

  “I know what that’s like.” The faces of his mom and Tommy crowded in and he blocked them out. He had to be here for Amy, not dwell on his own past. “What happened? Tell me and set yourself free.”

  “You sound very wise.”

  “If I do, it’s newly developed. Now tell me.” He kissed her forehead, wanting to kiss her lips, but knowing that must and could wait.

  “Carrie was still a baby and I was just starting kindergarten.” Amy’s voice sounded small and tight. “I think my mom must have overdosed on something, some prescription medicine, maybe. I heard a loud sound, something heavy falling, and went into the bedroom. She was unconscious on the floor. I thought she might have died. We didn’t have a phone and we lived in a bad neighborhood, so I wasn’t allowed to go outside by myself.”

  Jake hugged her. Amy, my sweet Amy.

  “But I had to get help. I went to the other apartment doors and knocked, calling for help. Nobody was home or would answer. So I ran out on the street and went to the corner drugstore. The man there called the police and an ambulance.”

  She paused, burrowing closer to him. “We never lived together as a family again. Fortunately, a foster family took both Carrie and me so we weren’t split up. But my mother never recovered. Once in a while, a social worker would take us to visit her. But our mom was never better again, never able to face life again.”

  Jake wrapped his arms around Amy tighter. He kissed her hair, her forehead, her eyes and then dipped lower to kiss her lips. “I love you, Amy. I want you in my life, now and forever. Marry me. Please.”

  “Are you ready for a package deal?” she asked with a wry twist of her lips.

  “Wouldn’t want it any other way. I love your girls, you know that.”

  “I do. I’d given up hope, but you do love them. I see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice.” She let out a long, deep sigh. “Oh, Jake, I love you, too. I have since that first night we found the kittens. I just couldn’t admit it.” She turned toward him fully and lifted her mouth for another kiss. “Of course, I’ll marry you.”

  “My sweet Amy.” Jake bent his chin and pressed his lips to hers.

  Finally, they parted and Amy sighed a very different sigh from her earlier one. “I’ve always felt an irrational guilt over not somehow saving my mom. I didn’t realize that the guilt was still there in the back of my head. It was. But no more.”

  Jake’s memory took him back. He was a kid again, holding a phone, and a cop was saying, “Your mother and brother have had an accident.” Guilt wrapped around his lungs. Amy had used the right words: irrational guilt. I couldn’t have changed anything even if I’d been there.

  He tuned back to what Amy was saying, “I am not my mother. I’m not Carrie. I’m Amy. And I won’t let Carrie take my girls from me. It’s not that I don’t want her in their lives, but she has done nothing to prove that she can be a good mom.”

  “Except for leaving her girls with you.” A very wise and loving woman.

  Amy smiled. She stroked his cheek. “I love you.”

  He kissed her lightly in reply. “My Amy.” My true match. Joy bubbled up inside him.

  She closed her eyes and rested against him. He didn’t want to move, didn’t want this precious moment to end. The wind lashed the windows, but its frost couldn’t touch him. Winter was past in his heart, in both their hearts.

  A few hours later, Jake heard movement down the hall. He eased himself from under Amy’s head. She had fallen deeply asleep and he had moved her head onto his lap. Now he got up and went to see if his dad or the girls needed him. My girls. The wonder that he would soon have a family of his own, with a wonderful woman and two great kids, filled him up. He nearly chuckled out loud.

  His father stood in the doorway of the girls’ bedroom. Jake came up behind him and rested a hand on his dad’s back. “How are you feeling?”

  His dad jerked slightly in surprise. “Not too good. Not too bad. When this storm ends, we’ll call Lewis. He’ll want me back in Madison as soon as this weather moves out.”

  Jake rested a hand on Dan’s shoulder and looked past him. Cassie and Rachel were sleeping the peaceful sleep of innocence.

  “Looks like we’ve all enjoyed our long winter’s nap,” his father said, a smile in his voice.

  “I’m going to check the fire. How about a cup of tea?” Jake nearly rubbed the area over his heart. For the first time he could recall, he didn’t feel that choked sensation when speaking to his father. He’d shed the past today.

  “Sounds good,” Dan agreed.

  They headed toward the kitchen. Jake stopped, opened the wood stove door and added a few logs. Then gripping the potholder around the handle, he carried the steaming cast-iron kettle to the kitchen.

  His father was preparing ham and cheese sandwiches at the counter. “I don’t think Amy will mind if we help ourselves. And if you look at your watch, you’ll see it’s nearly seven. My stomach woke me up.”

  “Make me one, too. In fact, make me two.” His appetite roared for food.

  Soon Jake joined his dad at the table. He picked up a sandwich. And then he stopped to bow his head for a silent grace and a quick thank-you to God. When he looked up, his dad was eyeing him.

  “I haven’t seen you do that for years.”

  “This has been an important day in my life.” Jake smiled, knowing that this time he and his dad could just talk, not argue.

  “Are you and Amy going to get together?”

  “Yes, I’ve proposed and she’s accepted.” Would his dad stick to his opinion that Amy wasn’t good for Jake?

  Dan finished chewing and lifted his cup of tea. “Bummer will be delighted.” He paused. “Proposing takes guts.”

  His dad’s hesitation didn’t stir his stomach as usual. Jake lifted his sandwich for another bite. “Not really. Amy is an amazing woman, and I’m getting two great daughters in the deal.”

  His dad studied him. “You sound different.”

  “I feel different.” He took a deep full breath. “It feels good. Dad, we’ve been separated by more than miles since Mom and Tommy died.” Jake chewed, waiting. Would his dad change the subject, say something wounding?

  “We have. You’ve blamed me for not being here. And I’ve blamed myself.”

  Jake wondered why, here in the dimly lit room with the sound of wind under their words, they could speak about what had torn them apart for years. “I blamed myself, too.” His voice came out gruff.

  His dad looked up sharply. “Why?”

  Jake shrugged.
“Survivor’s guilt. I think I thought irrationally that if I’d been there, I could have stopped the accident from happening.”

  “That’s ridiculous. The only difference would have been that you would have witnessed it happening. And that wouldn’t have made the loss any easier.”

  “Harder.” Jake drew in an easy breath and took another bite of the sandwich. Ham and cheese had never tasted better.

  Dan nodded solemnly, sipping his tea. “Now that’s in the past once and for all. Neither of us could have prevented their deaths. And for the record, I loved them both. After it happened, I thought I would die, too, for a while. And coming here was such a reminder of all I’d lost. That’s why I stayed away.”

  Jake rested a hand on his dad’s arm. “I know.”

  Dan pressed a hand over Jake’s. “I won’t be a coward anymore. And a few days ago when I saw what so many in this community feel about you and your work here, it made me realize that I’ve missed out on being a part of this community. When I was young, I just wanted to get out into the world. I wanted no part of farming. My dad gave me his blessing, though I’m sure it was hard for him to accept that I wouldn’t be taking on the farm.” He lifted his sandwich.

  “Grandpa never said anything.”

  Dan grinned. “He wouldn’t. From now on, I’m not going to be traveling around speaking and demonstrating surgical procedures. Or skiing downhill in Colorado. That’s hard for me to swallow. What will I do?”

  Free of the past, free of guilt and resentment, Jake spoke without hesitation. “I’ve got something you can help with. Something good.”

  The wind stopped blowing that evening. Amy joined Jake looking out the front window. “They’ll be able to send the crews out now to get the power lines fixed and the roads plowed,” Jake said.

  Amy wrapped her arms around Jake’s chest and rested her head against him. Love for this man expanded within her, warm and full. I’ll always remember this happy day.

  Jake leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “Dad and I will stay till the power goes back on. Mike is home tending our fire so our pipes don’t freeze this time.”

  The sound of feet pattered behind them. “Mom! Rachel’s hungry.”

  They turned to see Cassie. Jake bent and swung the girl into his arms. “Then we know she’s on the mend. When a sick kitten starts eating again, I know it will get better.”

  “Were you two hugging?” Cassie asked.

  “Yes, we were hugging. I’m going to be your daddy.”

  Cassie whooped and hugged his neck. Then she leaped from his arms and raced toward her bedroom. “Rachel! Dr. Jake’s going to be our daddy!”

  Sitting on the couch reading, Dan called out, “And I’m going to be your grandpa!”

  Love and joy spurted upward like a geyser within Amy’s heart. Thank You, God. Thank You.

  Chapter 13

  The April Fools’ Day blizzard proved to be that record-breaking winter’s grand finale. In the next three weeks of the awakening spring, work on Amy’s Habitat house sped up. Today Amy would move into her new house. She stood in her front yard, surrounded by volunteers carrying in her meager furniture.

  Jake had invited her to look in the barn loft and a few stalls for furniture. Since after their upcoming May wedding they would be living in her new house, she would root around there in the coming weeks, adding as needed.

  Dan and Mike would live in the McClure family home while Dan helped with the fundraising for Jake’s dream. A local plumber had donated his time to fix the burst pipes at the animal shelter, and the animals would soon return home.

  Today Amy nearly danced in her driveway on New Neighbor Lane. Her new house, her husband-to-be, how had these miracles happened, and to her? God is good.

  With a loud crunching of brakes, a furniture van jerked to a stop at the curb. Soon a tall delivery man came forward. “Amy Broussard?”

  Surprised, Amy waved a hand and everyone stopped what they were doing to watch. She glanced around, wondering why the truck had stopped.

  “Got your new bunk bed bedroom set,” the man said.

  No. “What? It must be a mistake. I didn’t order—”

  “Lady,” the delivery man said, sounding put-upon, “you’re Amy Broussard and this is the right address. See.” He showed her the paper on his clipboard. “All I do is make deliveries, and I got more than just yours today. Now where do I put the furniture? I got to set up the beds, too.”

  “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, Amy,” a volunteer advised. “Just show him which room is the girls’ bedroom.”

  Glancing around, Amy realized that she must accept this or be incredibly rude to the delivery man or whoever sent this lovely, but unexpected gift. Probably Jake or Dan had sent it. “Follow me.”

  Within a few minutes, the bedroom set for her girls was in place and the two beds were ready for sheets. The delivery men just shrugged away all Amy’s questions. She watched him drive away and said a silent thank-you to God for the beautiful walnut bedroom set.

  A cheerful hubbub filled the rest of the day. Moving in, a potluck with the volunteers and then many, many thank-you’s and goodbyes. Finally, only Amy, Jake and the twins remained around the kitchen table. At the door ready to leave, Dan and Brooke were petting the kittens and Bummer.

  Amy’s cordless phone sounded. She lifted the receiver. “Hi, this is Amy.”

  “Hi, this is Carrie.”

  Amy’s heart lurched against her breastbone. She waved and mouthed goodbye to Brooke and Dan. Then she walked back to her bedroom and shut the door for privacy. “I was wondering why you hadn’t called back.”

  “I’ve been busy.”

  Amy tried to analyze her sister’s voice, but couldn’t. She decided to set the tone for this conversation. “Carrie, I went into shock the last time you called. But now that I’ve had time to think, I need to make it clear to you that my main goal is doing what’s best for the twins. You are their birth mother, but I’m the only mother they’ve ever known. I will not let you come in and disrupt their lives and—”

  “You’re right,” Carrie cut in. “I…I wasn’t thinking the last time I called. I was living in a dream world where I’d get a job right away and get a nice place and we could all live together. Since then, I’ve been forced to face reality.”

  “Where are you?”

  “I came back to Milwaukee and found our old social worker. Even though she’s retired she got me into a group home for women who have gotten out of prison or out of some other bad situation. I’m going to school to get my GED, and then I’m going to work on getting qualified to be an administrative assistant.”

  Amy’s heart stopped pounding. “That sounds good, Carrie. That’s what I did, got some education. Now I work at a vet clinic as the office manager. I want you to know that Cassie and Rachel know I’m their aunt and that when they were babies, their mom disappeared. So they know the truth. But they call me Mom. It was hard enough that they didn’t have a dad. They didn’t want to call me Aunt Amy when they got old enough to understand.”

  “I get that. I do.” A pause. “Amy, do you think I can really get my life together?”

  Amy listened to Jake and the girls down the hall in the living room. She looked around at her brand-new house. “Yes, I do, Carrie. You need to work at your education and get yourself sorted out. I want you to be in the girls’ lives, but not till you’re at a better place in your life. You can take time to work on your future. In the meantime, the twins are happy and doing well.”

  “Thanks to you.” Carrie sounded tearful. “I messed up my life. I don’t want to do that to my girls.”

  “Your life doesn’t have to stay messed up, Carrie.” Amy wanted to speak to her sister about seeking God’s will but felt that this wasn’t the time. A time would come. “You’ll come through this.”

  Carrie began to weep. “Amy, I’m so sorry. I never meant for all this to happen.”

  Amy soothed her sister, wrote down her phone n
umber and promised to call soon. Amy hung up and turned at the knock at the door.

  Jake halted in the doorway, looking toward her, a question brimming in his expression.

  She went to him and wrapped her arms around his chest. She rested her cheek against his soft flannel shirt.

  “Is everything all right?” he murmured.

  She nodded against him. “Carrie’s in a group home in Milwaukee. She’s started working on her GED.”

  “She didn’t say anything about taking the girls?” Jake asked in a whisper.

  “No, she realized she’s in no shape to take care of them.” Amy looked up at him. “She doesn’t want to do anything to make them feel insecure.”

  “Glad to hear it.” He kissed her forehead.

  “Did you or your dad buy the bedroom set?” She nodded toward the furniture in the room.

  “No for both of us. I figured we were either going to move in more family pieces or we’d go shopping together. Do you like it?”

  “I love it. What a special gift. I just wish I knew who to thank.”

  Jake hugged her close. “I need to get going. I have some important stuff to do with the shelter.”

  Amy lifted her face to him, and he obligingly kissed her. “I’m looking forward to your not having to go home anywhere but here.”

  “Me, too. A few weeks and I won’t have to leave you every night.”

  Amy hugged him and he hugged her back. Her heart threatened to burst with the joy of his touch, of his constant love, of this evidence of God’s love for her.

  Epilogue

  The wedding march was being played on the church organ. In the church foyer, Amy slipped her arm into Dan’s. Since she had no father, Dan had volunteered to walk her down the aisle. She had gratefully accepted. She’d also accepted Brooke’s loan of her wedding dress, a long white sheath. Brooke had even altered it a bit to fit Amy’s long silhouette by adding a wide ruffle of white satin around the hem.

  Ginnie and the twins, all three dressed in their Sunday best, waited to head down the aisle. Ginnie nudged the girls and they started down the aisle first, clutching their kittens, Twinkie and Peanut-Butter, instead of bouquets. They had insisted that the kittens had brought Amy and Jake together and should be at the wedding. So Amy had gone along with their request.