Our Totally, Ridiculous, Made-Up Christmas Relationship

by Brittainy C. Cherry

  “It just so happens pizza is my favorite food of all time. So I think we’re off to a good start.”Avoiding all the fancy over-the-top pizzas, Kayden reaches for the pepperoni. The only reason there is a pepperoni pizza on the table is because of me. I hate all of the garbage people toss onto pizzas. Keep it clean and simple. Dad calls me a picky eater; I call him a Hollywood eater.

  “Good, I’m glad. So, Jules told me about how you both met, and I find it amazingly romantic,” Mom says to Kayden, sliding a slice of pizza onto her plate.

  “Really? It didn’t sound that romantic at all to me. But I guess that’s because Richard over here told the story. Guys always leave out the romance,” Lisa says, and I arch an eyebrow in Kayden’s direction. He told her how we met? But how? I told Mom how we met! And I doubt his story involved the horses and white roses! Plus, I’m really beginning to hate the way people are calling him Richard.

  Kayden smiles and laughs to himself. “Well, you know us guys…We’re idiots like that.” He edges closer to me and pretends to kiss my neck as he whispers, “How did we meet? I said in a bar.”

  When he pulls away, I slowly shake my head back and forth. This is discomforting. Reaching for the glass of wine in front of me, I grab and chug. And chug…and chug some more.

  Mom laughs. “Lisa, you never did get a hold of the romance bug. I think it was sweet! The way he hired a horse and carriage in the park just to get her attention.”

  And let the choking on wine begin. Only this time, it isn’t me choking; it’s my fake boyfriend, who is the best actor ever. The way his face is turning red and the veins in his neck are popping out is super convincing. Distraction is the key with this family, but this, well…it seems a bit extreme.

  “Water…” he mutters, and I am just about ready to give him an Oscar from the bookshelf until he reaches for the glass of water and knocks it over. “Nuts…” he chokes out, patting his neck before pushing away from the table.

  Nuts?!

  Oh my gosh. He’s allergic to nuts.

  “Mom! Are there nuts in the tomato sauce?” Choking on my own panic, I watch Kayden struggle as I feel my own throat tightening. As he fights for every breath, my breathing becomes labored with his.

  Mom’s eyes register extreme concern, along with Dad’s anxious blue eyes. “Um, I think—in the sauce. Pecans, I think.” I see her face shift to anger, and that anger is now directed toward me. “You told me he wasn’t allergic to anything! I called and asked!”

  Kayden continues scratching at his itching neck as he clears his throat. “No, it’s fine.”

  “I asked you, Jules!” Mom yells again, making me feel as if I’m the worst person in the world.

  I sigh, willing myself to become invisible. I turn when I hear Kayden coughing, worry filling me up. “You’re breaking out,” I whimper, seeing his neck turn red just from a few bites of the pizza.

  Dad pushes his chair away from the table in a hurry. “Do you need to go to the hospital?”

  Kayden shakes his head back and forth. “I’ll be fine.” He sips at my water on the table and continues to cough.

  Standing from his seat, Dad moves toward the kitchen. “I’ll grab some allergy pills.” And he’s gone. Mom’s still fuming; I can almost see the smoke blowing from her ears.

  “Julie Anne, I asked you!”

  “No, it’s my fault,” Kayden coughs and tries to smile. “I probably confused her and…” He’s choking on his words and stands from the table. “Excuse me really fast.”

  He hurries out of the room, toward the bathroom, and everything blurs as tears fill my eyes. I look up and see Danny smirking. I pull my napkin off my lap and toss it on the table.

  “Yeah, Daniel, keep laughing, because a person having an allergic reaction is funny.” Running in Kayden’s direction, I sigh and knock on the bathroom door. Dad sees me and hands me a glass of water and allergy pills, which I thank him for as I continue to knock.

  Opening the door, he grins as he’s holds a wet cloth around his neck. “I’m so sorry, Sunshine. I should be good in a few. I’m sorry. Shit!” he mutters under his breath, and I step into the bathroom closing the door behind me, locking us inside. He’s pissed at himself for eating something that’s deadly to him. I know it’s awful, and I know I’m probably going to hell…but I find him extremely sexy right now. Pushing the glass of water toward him, I place the pills in the palm of his hand and he downs them quickly.

  Gesturing to the toilet seat, I order him to sit down and he tells me he’s all right. “Please, Kay?” I beg, and he narrows his somewhat puffy eyes on me, and sits. Taking the cloth from his hands, I kneel in from of him and start holding it against his neck.

  “I should’ve asked,” I say, feeling awful.

  “Yeah, you should have. You’re a terrible, heartless person,” he laughs, closing his eyes. “So what happened exactly? With the whole Danny-and-Lisa situation?”

  I sit back on my heels and rest my hands in my lap as he opens his eyes and finds my stare. “It’s a long story.”

  “I have time.”

  Wiggling my nose, I debate running away, avoiding speaking the memories out loud. But the way he takes my hands and holds them, even when people aren’t watching, makes me feel as if it’s not only information that he wants to know for character study. It seems as if he simply wants to know about me.

  “We dated for three years. And well, as you know, for Danny being a Hollywood god, that’s a pretty long relationship. I loved him. Even though he only semi-liked me. When I told him I was thinking of giving up on the acting thing after not instantly breaking into the industry like Lisa, well…” My eyes shift to the floor, reliving the moment that changed everything.

  “He never told me he wasn’t okay with it. He always put on a smile and kissed me like he meant it. But then again, he’s Danny Everson, one of the best actors out there. And right around that time, he was just hitting it big. Then, for Easter, we were all up here at the cabin—his family, my family. Just another holiday in my mind. You couldn’t believe my surprise when I found my sister making out with Danny in this bathroom. Apparently they fell for each other when they were co-stars in The Neverlanders.”

  “It was a terrible movie.” The corners of his mouth turn up in a smirk, and a warm wave courses through my being.

  “It was a fantastic film,” I disagree, but I secretly like the fact that he said it was bad just to protect my feelings.

  “You’re right. I own a copy. But if you want, I’ll burn it. I will burn the living crap out of it.” His fingers brush under my eyes, and I realize I’m crying. The tears are streaming down my face. Clearing my throat, I go back to patting Kayden’s neck, studying his reddened skin instead of his sad eyes staring at me. I chuckle and shake my head back and forth. “It would have been our fourth year anniversary when Lisa announced she was pregnant with Olivia.”

  “That’s messed up.”

  “You know what’s even worse?” I whisper. “When we were kids, I told her I wanted to name my first kid Olivia after Olivia Newton John because I love the movie Grease more than life. And I just sat there for a moment wondering why Mom was crying happy tears. Why Dad was pouring everyone drinks and cheering. And why wasn’t I enough?”

  Kayden takes my hand and we both stand up. He hovers over me and backs me up against the wall. The palm of his hand grips my chin and his face edges closer, so close I can feel his breath hitting my lips with every exhale he releases.

  “Before we walk out of this bathroom and I become Richard again, can I say something to you as Kayden?” he asks. His eyes are intense, zoned in on me, and I have a strong feeling that if he were to look away I would crumble into nothingness.

  “Yes,” I mutter, almost breathless by his touch.

  “You’re more woman than Danny could ever have handled.” His thumb brushes against my lips, parting them. “You’re more of a sister than Lisa deserves. Your parents are talented as hell in movies, but they’re blind to the
truth of real life.” My heart picks up speed as time somehow stops completely. He inches closer and kisses my falling tears away. “And I am one lucky bastard to be your made-up boyfriend.”

  I don’t know what to say, so I smile like a goof ball, feeling my stomach fill with all kinds of wonder. When words come to mind, I let them fly from my mouth. “You give the best pushed-up-against-a-wall pep talks.”

  “Hey, do you see that?” he whispers, and I cannot help but take in every syllable he speaks, every word he somehow sings.

  “See what?”

  He looks up and points right above us. “The invisible mistletoe hanging above us.”

  My cheeks heat up and my eyes move to the invisible mistletoe of his imagination. I love his imagination. “Well, look at that.”

  “You know legend says it’s bad luck if two people stand under the invisible mistletoe and don’t kiss.”

  “How much bad luck are we talking?” I smirk, feeling his hand tighten around my back.

  “Well, I can’t say exactly. It’s different with each person. But the last time, a guy I work with who didn’t kiss under the invisible mistletoe grew an extra finger and lost a toe. No lie.”

  The serious look on his face makes me want to crack up laughing, but the way his fingers are massaging my back makes me want to do everything in my power to avoid the bad luck. “Well, we wouldn’t want that, now would we?”

  “I guess not…” He takes one finger and runs it up and down the side of my neck, making me sigh softly, wanting the invisible mistletoe to travel with us everywhere we go.

  When his lips slowly discover mine and my fingers run through his hair, my mind starts begging for more than his soft kisses. He presses his hips against mine, pinning me to the wall, and his hands become entangled in my locks as he deepens the kiss. I feel all of him against me, almost forgetting where he begins and I end. His tongue slowly slides into my mouth and I sigh with ecstasy, feeling his warm hands wrapping around the edge of my shirt, slowly pulling it up. When he pulls it all the way off of my body, he stares me in the eyes and moves my hair behind my ears.

  “I hate how they make you doubt how amazing you are,” he breathes against my lips. I watch as he gets down on his knees and moves my arms to the sides of my body. Swiftly I try to move them back to cover my stomach, but his green eyes demand that I lose this battle. “Eyes closed.” His words are commanding; but, it sounds more like a request than an order. And, I abide.

  My other senses become fully aware of all of my surroundings while my eyes are closed. I can hear my family chattering from the dining room, and I pick up on the sound of the wind from outside hitting against the house. My lips part and I can taste the air being sucked into my lungs. I smell the shampoo in his hair—coconut. And I feel him. His hands are placed on my bare sides and his forehead is resting against my stomach.

  I relax all of the muscles in my body the moment I experience his lips kissing around my belly button. My mind shuts down, and I get rid of all of the other senses that are no longer of importance. I commit to Kayden’s touch. His fingers effortlessly massage my sides. His tongue caresses my skin for a split second before taking refuge back in his mouth. His soft lips deliver countless shivers. My hips choose to motion toward his lips, but he doesn’t take advantage of their brainless actions. His hands stay on my hips as he rises to his feet, and I can tell he’s hovering over me again. I just don’t know if I currently have the strength to witness him before me yet.

  “You’re perfect,” he says before slipping me a gentle kiss. His voice is confident that he’s telling me a fact, not simply his opinion. “Okay?”

  I open my eyes to see him reach for my shirt, which he places back on my body. He turns away and he doesn’t look back at me. He just opens the bathroom door and disappears.

  He thinks I’m perfect.

  I smile, because he wasn’t Richard—he was Kayden.

  And it wasn’t an act.

  Walking out of the bathroom after collecting my thoughts, I plan to head back to the dining room to try to make this night end quickly. Before I can even round the corner, I’m standing right before Danny. Not saying anything, I try to edge around him, but he blocks my exit. “Is there something I can help you with?”

  His brown eyes look at me the way he used to look at me—as if he cares. It pisses me off because I never know what’s going on in his head, when he’s playing a role, when he’s being himself. Truth is I never really knew who Danny was.

  “Is it always going to be like this?” he asks, leaning against the hallway wall, the heel of his shoe resting against the wall trim. “Is this awkward air always going to be between us?”

  “You know what’s disgusting?” I wonder out loud, crossing my arms across my body. “These past few years I’ve been waiting for an apology. For you and Lisa to say, ‘Sorry, Jules. The way we behaved was out of line and disrespectful.’ That’s all. But every time I come around here everyone acts as if I’m the crazy one. And I hate you so much, yet there’s still this weird amount of love floating around in my gut. Which in turn makes me hate myself a little more.”

  Danny reaches to touch my face, but my raised eyebrow and hands on my hips make him rethink his move. “We were happy. You made me happy, Jules.”

  “No, I totally get it. I wasn’t successful enough to stay attached to you. Which is fine. Whatever. You’re shallow. I get that. But…my sister?” The tears that are burning in the backs of my eyes are winning the fight tonight. Lisa turns the corner holding Olivia in her arms and I sigh. “My sister?”

  Lisa and Danny give me this look that embarrasses me. They look so sad for me. They pity me. And the waterworks flow. Lisa’s lips part to speak, but nothing comes out. That’s the closest she’s ever gotten to looking a tiny bit remorseful for her betrayal, but the look disappears when she shifts to Danny.

  “I’m putting Olivia to bed. Join us when you’re done going down memory lane.” She hisses her final words and I roll my eyes.

  “He’s done.” I turn to Danny who still has that look of despair attached to him. “We’re done.”

  Lisa rolls her eyes and walks away. Before I can turn to do the same, Danny’s hand lands on my wrist and he hands me a phone. “Richard’s phone was going off in his jacket, so I grabbed it to give it back to him. Then, I noticed he had all these missed calls from people called ‘Chick with Blonde Hair’, ‘Brunette Girl Who’s Crazy’, ‘Good Sex’ and names like that.”

  I know it’s all made up, my relationship with Kayden, but the idea of those girls calling Kayden hurts me more than it should, and it makes me think that everything has been an act. The pep talks, the invisible mistletoe. How could I think it was more? I just met the guy and I’m paying him a thousand dollars to date me for five days.

  “He doesn’t seem like the type of guy you need. I just—I don’t want you to get hurt, Jules.”

  “Well, Danny, you should have thought about that before banging my sister.”

  I move to the bedroom Kayden and I are sharing and see him unbuttoning his shirt. He must have heard my footsteps because he begins talking without turning toward me. “Dinner shut down early, which is probably for the best. Everyone could probably use some rest.”

  I slowly close the door behind me, and when I see his shirt leave his body, I gasp. He’s hot with a shirt on, but without one, he transforms into a superhero. He turns to see me gawking, but I don’t stop. There’s this tattoo lying on his chest of a coin—a penny.

  When I finally tear my eyes away, I feel conflicted on just about everything. For a second I’m thinking about Kayden, but then thoughts of Danny flood my brain. My mind is confused, shuffled up because of all of these feelings of past regrets—and disgust in myself for still caring about those regrets.

  His lips turn down and I move closer to him, resting my hands on his chest. My head is quick to fall to his chest, too, when he wraps his arms around me.

  “I’m going to ask you something,” I
whisper, and I’m positive he can feel the tears falling against his chest.

  “Anything,” he says, stroking my hair. “Anything you need. Let me know.”

  “Make love to me?” I ask, looking up into his eyes. “I know it wouldn’t be real, but I’m fine with that. I’m fine with fake love making.” I’m begging for him to touch me gently, to caress me in his arms, and to kiss me as if I’m the only person in this world he would ever want to kiss.

  His body cringes against mine before he pulls back. He turns away from me and runs his hands through his hair. “I can’t do that.”

  “Yes you can. I’ll even double your pay if you want.” I pull my shirt off of my body and toss it to the side of the room, walking closer to him. “Don’t worry. It won’t be real. I promise it will be meaningless.” My hands attach to his sides and he brushes them off faster than they land.

  “Don’t, Julie,” he hisses, using my real name. “I don’t want to do this.”

  I’m mortified by his rejection. Pulling his cell phone out of my back pocket, I hand it over to him. “Good Sex called twice. You might want to call her back.” I walk over to my suitcase, unzip it, and look for my pajamas. Christ! Of course the only ones I packed have puppy dogs, penguins, or Santa on them. No surprise Kayden doesn’t want to touch me.

  “Really? You’re upset because of some names in my cell phone?” he asks, moving over to me. I keep digging through my suitcase, even though I’ve already found what I need. “You’re upset that I have a lot of sex? I’m sorry. I didn’t know that was part of my job description—letting you know all about my sex life.”

  “No, that’s not it. I just don’t see why you can be so screwable for them, but then I ask you for the same thing and it’s a big no.”

  “It’s been a long day. You’re sleepy.” I see him sit on the edge of the bed. The way his muscles become even more noticeable when he’s pushes his hands into the side of the bed makes me blush.

  “I’m not sleepy. I want some meaningless sex from a guy who seems to be a pro at that task.” When those words leave my mouth, I want to slap myself because I sound like such a raging bitch. His hands dig deeper into the bed before he pushes off of it. He moves over to me and grabs my arm, pulling me into his direction.