Exposed Memories

by Sienna Aylen

  What had happened to the gentle, caring side of him?

  Was this how things were going to be from now on, him taking her for granted and treating her like baggage instead of a mate?

  The air whooshed out of her lungs, her chest compacting as if she’d been punched. How could she have been so stupid? This entire week she’d tried to ignore his behavior, chalking it up to stress and worry. Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe the honeymoon phase was over and this was the real Damien.

  She wasn’t sure where she was running to until Stella’s house came into view. Emma slowed as she came to the front steps. She could feel her hair escaping the braid that fell over her shoulder. She wouldn’t doubt it if looked halfway insane. Not bothering to knock, Emma pushed open the door.

  Stella sat in the front room, and when the door slammed open, she almost dropped her cup of tea.

  Emma just stood there for a moment, catching her breath. When Stella opened her mouth to ask, Emma choked on a sob.

  “You were right. Your son is a complete and total dense ass!” Her voice broke on the last word.

  Stepping closer, Stella wrapped her in a gentle hug before pulling back with a sigh. “I knew he would do something dumb sooner or later. Come on, let’s go upstairs to my room. We can talk there.” With one hand grasping Emma’s gloved one, she guided her guest up the stairs.

  The moment they walked into the room, Emma crumpled to the floor and sat with her knees raised. Leaning her head back against the drywall, she let silent, salty tears run down her cheeks in streams. She sniffled before whispering, “I’m sorry for barging in. I didn’t know where else to go.”

  Stella shut and locked the bedroom door. “You can always come here, Emma, any time you need to. What did that stupid son of mine do now? I swear that stubbornness of his comes from his father’s side of the family, not mine.”

  It took a minute for Emma to stop the tears enough that the lump in her throat cleared so she could answer Stella without breaking down. She wiped at her cheeks, smearing the tears across her face.

  “I’m going crazy sitting there on the couch every day. I tried to talk to him and explain that I was ready to start moving around again but he completely shut me down, Stella. Called me a whiny child who was acting out… He won’t even talk to me about the ‘business’ he attends to every day, he just pushes me aside. I’m a Council member, for Christ’s sake. I think I can handle a discussion about business. He’s stressed out, I can see it, but he refuses to share anything with me. Won’t even touch me. He even went so far as to tell me that I was going to retire, as though I have no choice in the matter. I wanted to punch him right in his smug face.”

  Blowing out a breath, Stella sat down on the floor next to Emma. “Well, my son has had quite the dose of stupidity today from the sounds of it. I’ll tell you a secret. There are some days that I want to punch Augustus in the face. Give him a nice shiner for some of the dumb stuff he says and does. It runs in the family apparently. All the Ryder males have the problem. It must be the testosterone. When it builds up, it muddles their brains.”

  Emma laughed softly through the tears. “How do you deal with it?”

  Stella sighed. “I know Augustus loves me, just like I know that Damien loves you. Even though he’s being an idiot right now, in the end it boils down to this…can you imagine yourself being with anyone else? Or him being with another woman?”

  “No, I can’t.” Emma shook her head and when pain stabbed her skull, she stopped and dropped her head to her knees. Between the telekinesis slip earlier and the crying now, she was giving herself a headache. The carved bear on her necklace swung underneath her sweatshirt, bumping into her chest and reminding her of when Damien had given it to her. She hadn’t taken it off but once since that night and she wouldn’t take it off now.

  “Then the answer is simple. You stick around and work it out. I’m not advocating bowing down to his dictates by any means. He needs to realize that you’re his partner, not his doormat. I think your brush with death scared the shit out of him and now he’s overcompensating by trying to swaddle you in bubble wrap. My advice is to be calm. If he tries to be a dictator, just ignore it and do what you were doing, anyway, and eventually it’ll penetrate that thick skull of his.”

  Wrapping one arm around Emma’s shoulders, Stella pulled her in for a hug. “I say we let him sweat a bit. Come on downstairs and I’ll crack open a few pints of ice cream. We can pig out and watch a movie. No chick flicks. How about one with tons of car chases and explosions?”

  Emma nodded. “Lots of explosions.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  #xa0;

  He should have seen it coming, should have known what he was saying would push her too far. Would make her run. Should have seen the hurt and fury in her eyes, the way her fingers shook before she clenched them tightly into a fist.

  By the time Damien had shifted and was out the back door, she’d disappeared. Inhaling the warm midday air, he tried to catch her scent, but there wasn’t any.

  Shit. You really screwed up this time. Why would you say something like that to her? Are you trying to drive her away?

  Yeah, I know, I was an idiot… Just shut up and focus on finding her.

  His bear was right. Even as the words were coming out of his mouth, he was already regretting them. The bright aura that surrounded Emma had dimmed a little bit more with each insult he’d thrown her way until her face was pale. She had looked as though he had physically slapped her.

  As though he’d betrayed her. Which he had. He’d stooped so low as to call his own mate a whiny child. Treated her as though she were one.

  And now she was gone.

  There was no excuse for the way he’d treated her, he knew that. The stress from the past week had been eating away at him. They hadn’t found any signs of Rafe at all on the property. A gut feeling told him that Rafe was still out there, waiting for an opportunity to strike. No matter how many perimeter runs Damien did, or how many search parties he sent out, no one could find that bastard.

  Through it all he’d kept silent, not wanting to place any stress on Emma while she was healing. During the nights, he had kept his distance as well, though she had initiated contact more than once. There was no way he could sleep without her. He held her each and every night but he didn’t touch her any further, postponing it as long as possible in an effort to make sure her wounds were healed.

  Each day her irritation with him grew. Restlessness plagued her and he’d done nothing about it. Had hoped that if he ignored it, if he didn’t acknowledge it, the problem would solve itself. Every time she had tried to talk to him, he’d ruthlessly shut her down, telling her not to worry about it, that it wasn’t her concern. He should have just opened up to her but he’d been stubbornly silent.

  Now here he was, running around looking for his mate. Needing to apologize for his own stupidity. Not just apologize—he was going to have to grovel and he knew it. Would gladly do it if she’d forgive him. He’d walk through hot coals, do anything she wanted, if it would replace that haunted look on her face with a smile. It was his fault that she’d snapped. He was surprised she’d lasted as long as she had without ripping his head off.

  Hours passed as he scoured the forest but there was no trace of Emma. Not a single sign that she had gone that way. If she was in the forest, she was hiding from him, and lord knew he wouldn’t be able to find her with that skill she had of making her scent disappear. Either that or she was staying with someone in the valley. That must be it, she was probably staying with either her sisters or his parents. One of the two. They were the only ones she would go to after a fight like the one they’d had.

  She had to be there.

  There was no way he would even think about the only other possibility…that she had left him.

  Down in the valley, Damien came to a stop in front of his father at his parents’ back porch. Before coming, he had checked with Tessa and Gwen, neither of whom had seen Emma in hours. T
his was the last place she could possibly be. Please be here, Emma.

  Fire and ice encased his body as his bones shifted back to their normal shape. From his spot on the steps, his father tossed him a spare pair of jeans and took a swig of his beer before raising one eyebrow.

  “You really did it this time, didn’t you?”

  With a sigh, Damien took the seat next to his father. “Is she in there?”

  Augustus nodded. “Yep, she was watching an action movie with your mother and downing pints of ice cream the last time I checked. The twins and Desiree are hanging out with Bleu and Hunter. I don’t know what you said or did but the look on her face is enough for me to want to slap you upside the head. Even I know better than to put a look like that on your mother’s face—do you want to push your mate into leaving you?”

  Damien took the beer his father offered and downed a long swig of the cold drink. “I wasn’t thinking. I messed up. Big-time. I need to apologize to her.” Damien stood up and slid the back door open. The living room was dim, the only light coming from the glow of the antique lamp his mother kept on the end table.

  A large blanket covered both his mother’s lap and his mate. Lying on her back, Emma had one arm thrown over her eyes and was still as the credits rolled over the television screen. Empty ice cream containers littered the coffee table along with tissues and empty chocolate bar packages. The trifecta was evidence of how badly he had hurt his mate.

  His mother waved a hand for him to come to her. His strides were long as he crossed the room to her side and bent down. A sharp pain radiated through the back of his head where she’d slapped him. Whispering, Stella wagged her finger at Damien, “I swear some days you are as dumb as a doornail. You better straighten things out with her. I know I raised you better than to treat a woman that way. I’m going to go check on your father. Fix this, Damien.”

  Stella shut the sliding door on her way out, leaving Damien alone with Emma. The arm that had been hiding her face lifted slightly. Bloodshot eyes puffy from crying stared back at him with wariness and pain. She pushed the blanket off and stood, clutching the side of her head with her hand.

  Damien pulled her stiff body into his arms, cradling her even though she didn’t melt into his embrace like she usually did. He stroked her hair away from her face with one hand and whispered painfully, “I’m so sorry, baby. I was such an ass for saying those things to you.”

  Bleak eyes stared back at him but she didn’t say a word. Her silence scared him more than anything. A fierce determination came over him. No matter what, he was going to win her back. Damien would do anything to earn her trust again. He had meant every single word of what he’d said their first night together. They would work things out, no matter what happened. He wouldn’t give her up, even if it took years to gain her forgiveness.

  Scooping her unresponsive body up into his arms, he cuddled her close and breathed a sigh of relief when, instead of pulling away from him, she nestled her head into the crook of his neck.

  It was a start.

  He loved her. Now it was time to prove it.

  * * * *

  They knew who he was now. It had been so much easier when he’d remained anonymous, but now he was stuck in this miniscule cave, only able to go out for food at night. He couldn’t even shift without pain taking him over and sending him to his knees. During the past week, he had only tried once and since then he had kept to his bear form, only shifting his head when it was needed.

  “You lost the girl.” The toneless voice was brisk through the speaker.

  Rafe growled. “I didn’t lose her, she escaped. You didn’t tell me that her powers were fully developed already.”

  “You know the consequences if you fail to deliver. I still expect my shipment in two days. See to it that I don’t have to hunt you down.” The phone clicked dead.

  Rafe swore and tried to move his leg. That bitch had done something to him, snapped a portion of his insides. The entire left side of his body was mostly numb. His arm was useful to an extent but his left leg had been completely limp most of the day, twitching and moving in fits and spurts. Laying his head on his paws, Rafe waited. Saving up his strength. He would need every ounce he could get for his plan to work.

  One more day. One more, and it would all be over.

  * * * *

  The click of their bedroom door shutting roused Emma from Damien’s chest. They had made an interesting sight to everyone who’d happened to be out when he’d carried her across the valley back to their home. More than one set of eyes had followed their progress. Damien knew Emma was uncomfortable with their stares so he had made the journey as quickly as he could without jostling her too much.

  Emma wiggled and Damien lowered her feet to the hardwood floor. Without saying a word, she trudged into the bathroom and turned her gaze to the mirror, not bothering to shut the door. Damien knew what she saw—puffy eyes, mussed hair, dirt stains and an all-around mess. He couldn’t care less. She would be just as beautiful to him if she was in a designer ballgown. Her face was an open book, emotions flying across her features. Weariness, sadness, acceptance and defeat made their way across her expression.

  Raising one arm, Emma took a delicate sniff and reared back in disgust.

  Damien stood silhouetted in the doorway, watching as Emma pulled off the sling that had been her constant companion for the past week. Each time she’d needed a shower, she had asked him for help, but this time, he wouldn’t get an invitation. A grimace crossed her face when she straightened her right arm, twisting it at the elbow and making a fist to stretch out stiff tendons. She’d been right. She wasn’t going to finish healing unless she started moving that arm and regaining her range of motion.

  Stepping forward, Damien ignored her flinch and hooked his fingers underneath her sweatshirt, lifting it over her head and releasing her arm from the sleeve. “Let me help you, Em. It’s the least I can do.” At her hesitant nod, Damien bent down to help her step out of her pajama pants, as well.

  While she unbraided her hair, he stripped down and grabbed a few towels from the closet. “Bath or shower?”

  “Shower,” she croaked out.

  Adjusting the temperature of the water, Damien gave it a few minutes to get hot while he gently peeled the bandages from Emma’s shoulder. Her sister was a miracle worker—where before there was a mess of tendons, flesh, and bone, now there were scabs, a few of which seeped with tiny bits of blood, but most of the gashes were healing well. Reaching down, he removed the bandage from her leg as well. The cuts there had been shallow and the scabs were at the stage where they would fall off within a few days.

  Stepping into the shower first, Damien brought the showerhead attachment down so it wouldn’t scald her shoulder and motioned for Emma to get in with him. He turned her so their fronts met. Grabbing the shampoo bar off the ledge, he lathered it into the thick mass of her hair. At her continued silence, Damien used one finger under her chin to tip her head back.

  “Please talk to me, Emma. I know what I said was completely wrong. I didn’t mean it, baby. I was just stressed out from the week and, instead of talking to you about it, I let it build up until I exploded. That’s not an excuse for treating you that way, though. I’m sorry.”

  Her whispered reply made his heart ache. “Why didn’t you talk to me? I was laid up but that doesn’t mean my brain took a hiatus too. The first night we were together, you told me that we would always work things out, that we were a team. That we needed to be open with one another. You were the one who threw all that out the window this week. I tried every single day and you ignored me. This relationship won’t work if it’s one-sided. I can’t do it on my own.”

  Lifting the showerhead, Damien held it still while Emma rinsed her hair. “I know that, Em. I told you we’d both make mistakes along the way, that there would be disagreements. When I screw up like that, I expect you to knock me over the head or something, get my attention somehow. My mother did that today. She whacked me upsid
e the head for being an idiot. Even my father took me to task. I searched for you for hours before finding you at my parents’… I thought you’d left me. That scared me because I know if you ever decide to leave me, there’s no way I’d be able to track you if you didn’t want it. I wouldn’t be able to apologize.”

  Emma scowled as she lathered the washcloth. “You deserved that slap. I should’ve given it to you myself. I’m not the type of person to leave at the first sign of trouble. I made a promise to stay and work things out and I meant it. I didn’t expect everything to be perfect from the get-go. I know we’re going to have to compromise. I just never thought that you’d see me as less than an equal. As a child who needs to be told what to do. That hurt. A lot.”

  The tortured look on her face told him even more than her words did. It was a punch to the gut. He’d never wanted to hurt her. Bending low, he pressed his lips to her forehead. “I want you to promise me something, baby. Any time I do something that hurts you, I want you to tell me, like you just did. All I want to do is make you happy, Em. If you tell me something I did hurt you, then I’ll try my best to never do it again. I wasn’t thinking when I said those things. I’m sorry, Emma. I love you. Forgive me?”

  Wiping her nose with one hand, Emma nodded and leaned her head against his chest. Long minutes were spent as Damien took the cloth and washed every inch of her, taking special care with her injuries. Once he was done, he helped her wrap her hair into a turban then quickly washed himself.

  The aroma he loved wafted from her freshly scrubbed body to tickle his senses. Home was the scent of vanilla and honey, the smell of Emma. She took her necklace from the counter and retied the ribbon around her neck, nestling the carved bear between her breasts. The sight gave him hope for the future. He couldn’t wait to watch her perform the ritual every single day as they aged.