Rock Chick Regret

by Kristen Ashley

  “Any point pursuing this?” Vance asked. “Sadie’s got a new wound now and, by the looks of her, she has no intention of letting it heal, she intends to keep it licked raw. After eighteen years, that trail’s cold. I manage to find something, what purpose would it serve?”

  Eddie looked at Vance. “At least she’d know her father didn’t kill her mother.”

  Everyone knew that was so thin, it was practically useless.

  But for Sadie, who had nothing but still managed to lose more, thin was better than nothing.

  Because of that, Vance gave a jerk of his chin and muttered, “I’ll look into it.”

  Hank moved to Lee’s desk and used his hands to pull himself up to sit on it. “We got another problem,” he announced when he’d settled.

  Eddie felt the air in the room get heavy and his body tensed.

  “Play the tape,” Hank said to Lee and Lee reached out and hit a button on a recorder on his desk. Sadie and Seth’s phone conversation from the day before filled the room. When it was over, Lee hit the stop button.

  Hank’s eyes went to Eddie. “He said there’s business to attend to.”

  Eddie clenched his teeth.

  Hector had said Sadie had a will of steel. He hoped to fuck his brother was right because if Seth Townsend was doing business from prison, she wasn’t free of him. Not yet.

  Lee spoke, “Hector heard the conversation. We played it back half a dozen times yesterday. He didn’t look happy at what he heard. I figure it was for more than the obvious reason but he didn’t share. We got somethin’ else to deal with here?”

  “No idea,” Eddie replied truthfully and he saw Lee’s eyes cut to Hank before he continued. “Hector told me she knew what her father did. He also told me she slipped him information when he was on the inside.”

  All eyes came to him at this surprising revelation.

  “You’re fuckin’ kidding,” Vance murmured.

  Eddie shook his head.

  “Little Sadie?” Tom whispered.

  This time, Eddie nodded.

  “What are we talkin’ about here? What did she give him? Was she involved, in a position to know?” Hank asked.

  “No. Hector said the information was worthless but she didn’t know that. He wasn’t in the place where he could tell her without putting them both in danger and it doesn’t matter. She did it all the same. Still, I’m thinkin’ Townsend figures family ties bind and she could help him keep a hold while he’s in prison. There was shit the Feds knew existed but they couldn’t find it. We know he’s still got men loyal to him and he’s keepin’ himself informed. Now, he knows she’s strayed and he obviously isn’t happy about it.”

  “Where’s the link?” Vance asked. “If she wasn’t involved while he was active, why the fuck would he involve her now?”

  Eddie shook his head because it was beyond his comprehension why a father would want to drag his daughter into a life of crime.

  Then he looked at Lee. “Brody needs to do a hack, find out what the Feds got and what they didn’t and if they’re still keepin’ an eye on him. I’ll talk to Hector. We got more than the Balduccis to worry about. We need to keep Sadie clear of her father. By the sound of it he’s lookin’ to suck her in.”

  “She hates him,” Tom put in. “She’s not getting involved.”

  “That’s not what I mean,” Eddie told Tom. “His daughter has taken up with the agent who brought him down. We all know Seth Townsend sure as fuck isn’t going to stand for that, even if he’s behind bars.”

  “I’ll get Brody on it, you talk to Hector,” Lee said immediately.

  Eddie took in a breath, he didn’t like what he was going to have to say next, he didn’t like to owe markers to anyone who was dirty, but he knew he had to say it.

  His eyes moved to Lee. “You need to go to Marcus and Vito. They need to make their protection of Sadie official. Townsend and any of his crew that are out there need to know what they’re up against if they’re thinkin’ retribution against Hector or Sadie.”

  Lee simply nodded.

  “This just keeps getting uglier and uglier,” Hank muttered.

  Hank was right but Eddie, thinking about his brother’s woman, her mother dead, taking her life in her own hands to be free of her father, ending up beaten and raped by one of his competitors and Sadie’s response to this latest news, still hoped Hank was wrong.

  As for the unsettled feeling he had about Hector and Sadie, the way they behaved and the way he saw them looking at each other, Eddie knew it was time to talk to Jet.

  * * * * *

  Buddy

  “Double H is here,” Ralphie whispered from his position at the window and Buddy looked to his lap.

  Sadie’s head was there, her magnificent hair fanned out everywhere and she was asleep. YoYo was on her side and asleep too, tucked in the crook of Sadie’s lap, Sadie’s hand on the dog’s belly.

  Sadie had come home from work with Ralphie, her face pale, her eyes dead, a look that seriously alarmed Buddy. It didn’t help that Ralphie was giving Buddy faces saying, nonverbally, all was even more unwell in the World of Sadie.

  She’d tried to make a go of it, pretend excitement for YoYo’s arrival (as was her way), but Bex showed up with the dog, took one look at Sadie and asked, straight out, “Oh God, Sadie girl, what’s happened now?”

  Sadie pulled in her lips, trying for control (this lasted about a second). Then she snatched YoYo out of Bex’s arms, cuddled the dog against her face and burst into tears.

  Through her blubbering, she told them a crazy story about her father killing her mother, something about “amazing ‘fuck-me’ sex” with Hector (she said they had sex four times, which had to be a crazy story, four times in one night and all of them “amazing” was impossible and if it was true, Hector Chavez was legend material) and ended on some incomprehensible nonsense about her need to learn Greek.

  They calmed her down, made her eat and then Buddy gave her two Tylenol PMs and sent her to the couch with Veronica Mars.

  When Bex left, Buddy and Ralphie followed and they all had an impromptu conference on the front stoop about what to do.

  Ralphie had a plan.

  It was a bad plan.

  Buddy and Bex didn’t like it but Ralphie was adamant and he talked them both around (as was his way).

  Then Ralphie called Hector and told him to hold off coming over until they knew Sadie was “visiting dreamland” (Ralphie’s words) and they could talk.

  Hector didn’t like it but Ralphie was adamant and talked him around.

  Now Hector was there and Buddy still didn’t like the plan but he’d been watching Hector closely now for over a month.

  Buddy didn’t know Hector well but there were a few things he did know.

  He knew (because a friend of his at Denver Health told him) that Hector had spent the night in her room in a bedside vigil after she’d been raped. Hospital gossip spread it around that this hot, Hispanic guy had brought her in, gone berserk when they’d tried to separate them and ended up having to be physically removed from her examination bay. He’d lied to the staff, telling them he was her partner. After that was over, he and his friends had spent a month sitting outside the brownstone, making a statement to anyone who might want to come after Sadie. When he finally deemed it time to make his move, he went against what Buddy was certain was his nature and took it slow, showing patience, restraint and understanding. But also, Buddy noted, a sense of humor, consideration and a gentleness that Buddy thought was almost unreal.

  Ralphie adored him and, talking with Bex about it, she agreed with Buddy’s assessment of Hector’s behavior and admitted she even trusted him and Bex didn’t have a high opinion of men, what with working at a rape crisis center that was a job hazard.

  Even so, they were about to break Sadie’s confidence and Buddy didn’t like doing it.

  And he hoped to all hell that they weren’t about to break her heart.

  Buddy moved Sadie’s head, slid
out from under her and carefully tucked a pillow under her, hoping he wouldn’t wake her. She moved, Buddy sucked in breath but she just curled her knees up higher, pinning YoYo, who didn’t mind and simply snuggled closer. She tucked her hands under her cheek in prayer position and stayed out.

  Buddy let out a sigh.

  At that point, Ralphie and Hector walked in the room.

  Hector’s eyes immediately went to Sadie.

  “She’s asleep,” Buddy whispered then, “kitchen.”

  Hector’s gaze sliced to him and he didn’t even try to hide his look of tender concern.

  At his look, Buddy knew.

  Thank Christ, he thought.

  They went into the kitchen and Ralphie closed the kitchen door as Buddy got three Fat Tire beers from the fridge.

  He opened the beers while Hector asked, “How is she?”

  “A fucking mess.” Ralphie answered and Buddy shot him a killing look. “What?” Ralphie responded to the killing look. “She’s been crying her eyes out and blathering on about learning to speak Greek. What’s that all about?”

  “Learning to speak Greek?” Hector asked and Buddy slid him a beer.

  They settled on stools at the island and Ralphie kept going, “Yep. Greek. She’s lost it. Says her father killed her mother and she’s got to learn to speak Greek. If that isn’t the hallmark of losing your mind, nothing is.”

  Hector stared at Ralphie a beat and then put his elbow on the island, pressed his three middle fingers to the area between his brows and rubbed hard.

  Buddy watched Hector, his heart clenching then asked, “Did her father kill her mother?”

  Ralphie’s head snapped around to look at Buddy then he went pale and his gaze swung to Hector.

  Hector took his fingers from his brow and took a long swig of beer.

  Then he leveled his (fucking fantastic, Buddy had to admit, the color was so intense and those lashes, Jesus Christ, divine) black eyes on Buddy and said, “She got bad news today. Her mother’s likely dead, it’s an outside chance but her father could have done it, he had motive and opportunity.”

  “No, please no,” Ralphie breathed then shut his eyes tight.

  “I knew about it but didn’t want her to know,” Hector told him. “The boys agreed with me, Lee, his brother Hank, my brother Eddie,” Hector explained. “She forced my hand, asked Lee to find her Mom right in front of Tom. Tom knew her mother. He’s a friend of her family she didn’t know she had. He wants her back in the fold. He wants to protect her like he feels he should have been protecting her since her Mom disappeared. To do that, he wants her trust so he wanted nothing between them. I didn’t like it but I agreed. It was the wrong choice, at least now, it was too fuckin’ soon.”

  “Not much more she can take,” Buddy decided.

  “Nope,” Hector agreed.

  Buddy and Hector stared at each other unhappily.

  Ralphie’s eyes reopened.

  “What are we going to do?” he asked.

  “What you been doin’,” Hector answered simply.

  “I’m not sure Auntie Mame and Veronica Mars are going to soothe the soul of a recently raped girl who just found out her father might have killed her mother. That’s beyond the powers of Tinseltown,” Ralphie informed Hector.

  Hector stared at Ralphie, likely, Buddy thought, wondering how he, as macho and heterosexual as they come, found himself sharing a beer in the kitchen of a gay man who just used the words “Auntie Mame”, “soothe the soul” and “Tinseltown” in one sentence.

  Buddy decided it was time to get down to business.

  “You need to know a few things about Sadie,” Buddy said and Ralphie’s head snapped to him again, this time with the addition of narrowed eyes.

  “What are you doing? I’m going to tell him,” Ralphie announced.

  Buddy looked at his lover. “Ralphie, I’m tellin’ him.”

  “I’m telling him, it was my idea,” Ralphie returned.

  “Maybe so but he needs it straight, no exaggeration,” Buddy replied.

  “I wouldn’t exaggerate!” Ralphie snapped.

  Buddy gave him the look he deserved for uttering such a lie.

  Ralphie glared back.

  “Would someone tell me? I don’t give a fuck who,” Hector cut in, losing patience.

  “What do you drink?” Buddy asked immediately, taking charge.

  Hector looked at the beer in his hand then back to Buddy.

  “No, stronger. Bourbon, vodka, gin…?” Buddy explained.

  Hector’s eyes went intense and Buddy pulled in breath at the power behind his look.

  Then Hector muttered, “Shit.”

  “Shit is right,” Buddy muttered in return.

  Hector sighed then said, “Bourbon. Jack, if you’ve got it.”

  Ralphie went to get the Jack Daniels and three glasses.

  They had three more beers and made a major dent in the bottle of Jack by the time they were done explaining what Ralphie called The Night of A Thousand Horrors Accompanied by Lemon Drops.

  A night neither of them thought that Sadie fully remembered.

  A night where she explained about her Mom, her father and her life.

  This, Hector didn’t seemed surprised about so Buddy figured he knew.

  A night where she talked about Daisy, the Rock Chicks, going to see Lee Nightingale, Hector being there and how that made her feel.

  This, Hector also didn’t seem surprised about but his mouth got tight and his face went dark, likely, Buddy figured, with guilt.

  A night where she talked about having no friends and living her life as an Ice Princess.

  This, Hector took in without giving anything away but still, the air in the room changed, almost like it had gone electric.

  A night where she described, in detail, what had happened with Ricky Balducci.

  After what little Buddy shared (but clearly it was enough), Hector’s entire body got visibly tight, his face went scary dark and Ralphie cautiously removed all bottles from his reach.

  “Hold it together, Hector,” Buddy warned. “She’s in the next room.”

  Hector jerked his head in what was supposed to be a nod while a muscle jumped in his cheek. He looked away and threw back a shot of Jack, pouring himself another the minute he was done and he threw that back too.

  Buddy looked at Ralphie.

  Ralphie bugged his eyes out at Buddy.

  Buddy finished on the part of the night where Sadie shared about Sadie. The part she shared at the end of the night. The part they both figured she didn’t remember sharing.

  It was who she thought she was, who she wanted to be, how she didn’t know how to be that and what she thought that Hector thought she was after what happened “that night in my father’s study”.

  Hector stared at him.

  “She thinks I think she’s a society slut out slumming?” he asked, looking angry.

  “She says you said that,” Buddy corrected him.

  Hector looked away and threw back another shot of Jack.

  “Jesus,” he muttered after he swallowed. “I never called her a slut. I told her I was glad she went slumming. She had to know I wanted her, fuck, I had her against the wall with her skirt around her waist, my hands in her pants, for fuck’s sake.”

  This was way more information than they needed but Buddy figured it was Jack Daniels Magic. As good (if not better) than lemon drops.

  Hector kept talking as if to himself, “She knew who I was. She’d been feeding me information on her father for months. And I knew what kind of woman she was, she knew I knew. What’s in her fuckin’ head?”

  “That episode didn’t, um… end well, did it?” Ralphie asked carefully and Hector’s eyes sliced to him.

  “No,” Hector replied tersely then his teeth clenched, the muscle leaped in his cheek again and he looked away. “Fucking hell,” he hissed (again, to himself), sounding even angrier. “Fucking hell,” he repeated, looking up at Buddy, something dawning
on him. “She didn’t know. We talked about it the other night. I told her I knew she was my informant and she didn’t know I knew. Fucking hell, I’ve been so wrapped up in all her shit, I didn’t put it together. I said something to her that night when she walked away and it wasn’t nice. I was pissed as hell, I figured she’d get that, understand why and get over it, like I did, because I thought she went cold on me, walked away, because she had to, to protect both of us. Jesus, if she didn’t know –”

  “She’s confused,” Ralphie said quietly. “She thinks she’s marked by her father, less of a person because of who he is. She spent years enduring a life of fear, playing a role, hating every minute of it without a single person to turn to, to trust. She had a chance to become someone else but instead she was stalked by four crazy brothers and then interrupted in the effort of finding herself when she was raped by one of them. She doesn’t think like normal people, she’s never had a normal life. But now, she’s on the edge, Hector, she’s holding it together but she’s teetering. We can’t let her fall off.”

  Buddy took over. “What’s happening with you two, it isn’t your normal boy meets girl, boy asks girl out –”

  “I fuckin’ know that,” Hector clipped, interrupting Buddy, eyes narrowed and angry and clearly having had his fill of sharing.

  Buddy pushed it. “I know you do, what I wanted to say was, in a normal relationship, it would be too early to ask this question but we have to know your intentions.”

  “What are you sayin’?” Hector’s voice was still clipped.

  Buddy kept at it. “I’m asking you your intentions. Far as we can see, Ralphie and I are the only ones she trusts. We’re taking that seriously. We figure you’re not in it for a casual –”

  Hector leaned forward and, at his threatening posture and drawn brows, Buddy stopped talking.

  “I’m gonna say this once, out of respect for what you’ve done for her, and then we’re done here. There’s nothin’ casual about this. Got me?”

  Okay, it was safe to say, Hector Chavez was done sharing.

  And Hector Chavez’s feelings were far from casual when they came to Sadie.

  Buddy thought that was good to know.