by Coralee June
Gavriel squinted at me before responding, “Do you not like my home, Love?” That was the problem. It was his space, not mine. There were no personal touches, and the constant revolving door of shady men that worked for Gavriel made me uneasy.
“You are my home, Gav,” I said in a small voice as Blaise squeezed my hand. “But that penthouse doesn’t feel like you, it doesn’t feel like a space I can get comfortable in.”
I could see the wheels turning in his fiery eyes. Gavriel was a problem solver, and as long as I voiced my needs, he’d make it happen. “Stay with Blaise tonight, we can discuss options tomorrow, Love. I want you to be comfortable.”
I let out the exhale I didn’t realize I was holding and smiled at Gavriel. “Thank you,” I mouthed before closing the distance between us and placing a kiss on his lips.
“I’m coming with you! Get me the fuck out of here,” a familiar voice exclaimed before Gavriel was shoved to the side, and Nix threw himself into the town car. “A little warning that I’d be stuck babysitting your sister would’ve been nice,” Nix growled before collapsing dramatically in my lap, placing his hand over his eyes while he groaned.
Gavriel’s lip quirked up in amusement as I soothingly ran my nails along Nix’s scalp. “Ryker and I are going to work on a few leads. Let’s all meet tomorrow? I know you want some space, but I'm sending Joe with you. Maybe separating is smarter. Maybe we should rotate homes, keep Santobello guessing,” Gavriel said while snapping his fingers. “I’ll think on it, you guys get some rest. And, Love?” Gavriel said in a softer tone. “Let Callum call you first. Give him space.”
It took an hour to get to Blaise’s apartment on the other side of town. I immediately felt more at ease here. As we drove, the buildings became considerably aged, and the pedestrians on the street didn’t wear suits. People still walked with a sense of urgency, but their movements were controlled and confident, unlike the posh, stress-filled men rushing to work in the Upper East Side where Gavriel lived.
Joe was very displeased to be here. He grumbled about the vast windows and the lack of security, pacing the floors in anxiety as he closed the blinds. The moment we entered Blaise’s converted loft, Nix collapsed in relief, looking around like it was a small slice of heaven.
“This is way more like it,” Nix mused. The open concept loft was just a larger version of where Nix and I lived in Baltimore. The exposed brick, modern furniture, and open kitchen were warm and inviting. Unlike Gavriel’s home, Blaise had personal touches covering every wall. Photos of different landmarks with various mismatched frames cluttered each shelf. I stopped in front of a picture of a statue and stared.
It was beautiful. The pedestrians were blurred, but the statue stood cold and tall in the middle of a busy metropolis. Beside it, Blaise’s old guitar was hanging up, and I bit my lip to hold back the smile.
“Did you take these photos?” I asked while walking along the wall, feeling his eyes on me as I trailed my fingers across the exposed brick.
“Yeah,” Blaise said, his voice hoarse. I turned to face him, smiling at the awed look on his face, his rust-colored hair a mess and curling at the ends. It had grown a lot these last few weeks, reminding me of how he would style it when we were teens. “I’ll admit, it’s a tad weird seeing you in my home. I mean—I’ve always dreamed of it. But this reality…”
Joe coughed, rolling his eyes for a moment before checking his phone. “You live around here, Joe?” I asked.
He stared at his phone like it was precious before turning back to me. “Nothing personal, but I won’t be telling you anything about where I live,” he grumbled.
“Well, why don’t you go visit Aunt Joe? I’m in capable hands. It’s been a few days, right? If we need anything or go anywhere, we can call.”
Joe looked between us, the distrust evident in his eyes. I sensed that he wanted to go, but he was also afraid to leave. Nix spoke up, a wild glint in his eye. “But if you stay, we can turn our threesome into a foursome. I bet you have a big cock, Joe.”
Joe didn’t bless us with his sarcastic response. He was out of Blaise’s loft in under thirty seconds flat with a half-hearted instruction to call if we needed anything. Blaise was explaining a new video game to Nix while I pulled my cell phone out to call Callum. I knew that Gavriel thought he needed space, but it was like an uncontrollable impulse. I was selfishly afraid to lose Callum Mercer. To my surprise, he answered it on the third ring.
"Hello?" His voice was rough as he spoke. I was reminded of his harsh screams in the woods, and I wondered what he was doing.
"Callum?" I answered. I didn't know what to say. What could I possibly say to the man whose life my family destroyed?
"Summer, why are you calling me?" Callum asked. I broke a little at the exasperated way he spoke, his tone pleading for me to let him go. I squeezed my eyes shut at the way he called me Summer instead of Sunshine. For some reason, it felt like he was putting distance between us by not accepting my nickname.
"I just wanted to make sure that you were okay," I said while pacing the wooden floors in Blaise’s converted loft. I was hanging on by a thread, clinging to Callum in whatever way I could. "Are you in DC?" I asked.
Instead of answering, Callum blew a rush of air into the phone receiver. I pulled it away from my ear, wincing before adjusting the cell phone back between my ear and my shoulder. As I paced, Blaise and Phoenix stopped talking about the video game and started looking at me. Their intrusive stares seemed to burn at my exposed skin while I stumbled over my words to Callum.
"Callum, please come here. Please let me comfort you. Let me love you through this." My voice was pathetic, and the prideful part of me wanted to demand that he stop putting so much distance between us.
"It's still pretty new, Summer. I've been chasing you and your family for a while now. All this time, I’ve been running towards you, and I'm wondering if I should’ve been running away. Let me do this on my own. If there's any hope for us, you won't call me again."
“You’re ready to end this already, Callum?” I asked, not letting him hang up. I needed to hear it.
Callum let out a sigh. I imagined him in his suit, pacing a dark hotel room and running a hand through his blond hair. “I’m ready to end something…”
A memory flashed in my mind. Callum and I were no longer on the phone, we were in my parents’ shed. “I’d miss you, Callum,” I whispered, alluding to the conversation we’d had eight years ago. Callum had a habit of spiraling. I wasn’t going to let him destroy himself over something my family did. “I’d miss you so much. I’d follow you anywhere, Callum. Anywhere. Remember that.”
I waited for Callum’s answer, but none came. The line clicked, ending our call, and I reared back, planning to throw my phone across the room when Blaise intercepted my flash of anger.
"Do you want a distraction, Sunshine?" he asked before standing and sauntering towards me. I recognized the expressions on his face—mischief, determination, playfulness. Blaise knew what I needed better than anyone, and right now I needed to not think about Callum or Santobello or my father.
"What did you have in mind?" I asked.
I should have known that their version of escaping reality would include a trip to an arcade. I’d been expecting a night on the town, a too-tight dress with uncomfortable heels. But instead, I was dressed in denim and tennis shoes, dancing around on the arcade floor while Blaise played whack-a-mole. It was risky, but we didn’t bother telling Joe, Gavriel, or Ryker that we had left. I felt safe with Blaise, and we were in a public enough place. I wanted to feel free again. Just another selfish endeavor on my part.
Nix was high from some pot brownies he’d scored from Gavriel’s sister and was holding me tight while updating me on all that had happened while I was gone. “Gavriel’s sister is a hot mess. I mean that literally. Hot because...like damn. She’s got these bright green eyes...and mess because…” he trailed off, considering his words for a moment. “I think she’s lonely.”
/> I stared at my best friend, smiling because I recognized the expression on his face. He’d had that same determined smile when I woke up in the hospital and saw him sitting next to me, holding the hand of a stranger. When he connected with a soul, he was committed, it’s just who he was.
“She’s still in high school, right?” I asked. It was an impressionable age.
“She’s eighteen. Attends a private school on the boujee side of town.” Nix rolled his eyes. “But I’m adopting her. She’s gonna be my friend, she just doesn’t know it yet. I just have to get past how frustratingly annoying she can be.” He spun me around, twirling me on his fingers before crushing me to his chest and dragging his knuckles along my cheek. “But you’re my number one girl, don’t you forget it.”
I giggled, accepting the lightheartedness of our evening with a grain of salt. None of it was real, not really. This was just us forcing some normalcy down our throats until the pill was easier to swallow. “Tell me what's on your mind, Sweets.”
I let out a slow exhale as Blaise moved over to the skeeball game, throwing me flirtatious smiles over his shoulder as he bent down to play, the tight jeans covering his ass giving me a generous view of his frame.
I’d battled for the better part of an hour over whether I should ignore everyone’s wishes and go to Callum. His sadness was like a beacon, calling out to me. And I would have gone, would have bought my ticket for the next flight to DC, if I wasn’t so terrified that he’d end things for good.
“The odds are against us. Callum was already on the fence about this...unique arrangement we have. And now he has a genuine reason to hate me. I’m still feeling selfish. One of them isn’t enough; I love them all, Nix.”
We started swaying to the cheesy nineties music playing in the background, our hips swaying to the synthesizer as I relaxed. “What’s going to happen when the newness of my arrival wears off? What happens when they’ve decided that they don’t want the leftover scraps of my affections? What happens if I’m not enough? Maybe this is good. Maybe I should love Callum enough to let him go—let them all go.”
Nix spun me around then pulled me over to Blaise, a determined scowl on his face. “This pity party is a total buzz kill. Why don’t we just ask Blaise how he feels, hmm?”
Blaise had just collected a stream of tickets, ripping them off and shoving them in his too-tight pants. “Blaise, our girl is going to give herself a complex with all the self-loathing floating around her brain. Could you pretty please reassure her that you’re not going anywhere?”
Blaise ignored the hoards of teenagers running past us, all of them giggling and staring at the two very attractive men in front of me. “We’re better together, Sunshine. I’m not going anywhere. Don’t let Callum’s indecision affect the way you see us—the way you see me.”
He cupped my cheek as Nix maneuvered behind me, holding me in a tight hug as Blaise kissed me with such raw emotion that my knees went weak. He laughed against my lips when a group of kids made gagging noises, and I pinched his butt for good measure. When he pulled away, I wondered how I got so lucky.
“How will I ever keep your attention? What if you get bored of me...of sharing me?”
Nix threw his head back and laughed, pulling away from me to look at the two of us with a mischievous grin. “Sharing can be very fun, Sweets. There's a reason I find monogamy to be boring. Why don’t we go back to Blaise’s place, and I’ll show you?”
Blaise gave us a curious look, and Nix immediately cut off that thought with a shake of his head. “As much as I’d love this,” Nix said, gesturing between us, “I was thinking I’d give you an opportunity to explore that voyeur kink you’ve got going on while giving Summer a nice little demonstration.”
Nix picked up his phone and began typing furiously, a grin on his face as he shoved his smartphone back in his pocket. “I hope you’re not opposed to being tied up.”
Chapter Twelve
The silk rope wrapped around my wrists was soft to the touch. When we arrived, Nix gently tied me to a wooden kitchen chair, placing tender kisses on my wrists while leaving enough room in the knot so that I could escape easily. He knew the idea of being trapped was a trigger for me, and I was thankful that he wordlessly adjusted to my needs.
He then went to Blaise, straddling him as he tied him to another wooden chair beside me, wrapping the silk around his waist and leaning over him to tie it in a knot at the back. With a fierce expression, he lingered over Blaise, before kneeling to tie his ankles to the legs of the chair. "You're lucky I respect bro code," Nix mumbled, taking his time and brushing his lips against Blaise's knees as he stood. Blaise didn't shy away from his touch, simply smiled challengingly at Nix as he settled in his chair. “Or I’d make you come play with me, you handsome devil, you.”
"Is this the part where you give us a strip tease?" Blaise asked, his voice light but breathy. I couldn't help but smile at how affected he sounded. Just as Phoenix was about to answer, the doorbell rang.
"Looks like my company is here. There are three rules. No touching. No saying anything unless I speak to you first. No names." Nix didn't wait for us to respond. Although I found Nix's confidence and self-assured nature to be beautiful and fun to watch, it was the way Blaise was on edge that had my blood heating up.
Blaise’s eyes were dilated, skin flushed. He looked around the room in anticipation, eager to see what would happen next. This was exactly the sort of distraction I needed. "You sure about this?" I asked in a teasing tone as voices filtered in behind us. Blaise swallowed. From the corner of my eye, I saw his internal battle. He was questioning whether he should want this. "It's not wrong, Blaise," I whispered. I wanted him to feel comfortable with whatever he was attracted to. I also wanted to be a safe place for him to explore his sexuality. If he wanted to watch...oh...I'd let him watch. I felt like Gavriel for a moment, exploring this new side of Blaise because I knew it would make him happy.
He might want me to stop using them as a distraction from my problems, but I was starting to understand that pouring my attention into the men I loved wasn't some sick way to ignore the very real threats in my life. It was a way to find light in all the darkness.
The sounds of heels clicking on the wood floors of Blaise's loft brought me out of my introspective daze, and I turned to stare at the man and woman following Nix into Blaise’s bedroom. They had lazy smiles as they looked between us and at each other. "I love having an audience," the woman said. She had long blond hair with big-bodied curls. Her eyelashes were so long they could have been fake, and her tight body looked perfect in the little red dress she was wearing. The man she was with was handsome. Almond-shaped eyes, black hair and broad shoulders. He was wearing black pants and a tight long sleeve blue shirt that showcased his muscles.
"We don't like to use our real names. You can call her Beth and him Leo." Nix instructed while circling them, trailing his fingers across their backs and necks.
"And you? What can I call you?" I asked, biting my lip in amusement at the fire in his eyes.
Nix stopped, turning to look at me while stripping out of his jeans. "For tonight? You can call me sir. Be sure to tell your boyfriend about it too. I love to make that sexy lip of his quirk." I frowned when I realized that this might be crossing an unspoken boundary with the guys. We'd never discussed this before, never labeled our relationships or drew lines in the sand of where to stay. Would they be upset with me for watching Phoenix in his element?
Sensing my hesitation, Nix then stepped forward, leaning so that his lips brushed against my ears. "I won't touch you. Won't bring you or Blaise into the scene. Once we start, it'll be all about them, nothing more. Like watching porn with your boyfriend. I wouldn't do this if I didn't think it would be good for you. And if we're being honest, we both know this is more about Blaise than anything else..."
I smiled wickedly before chancing a glance at Blaise. His chest was heaving, and when I peeked at the tight denim in his lap, I grinned at the hard erection
pressing through the fabric and traveling down his thigh. “Let’s get this party started,” I whispered before settling back in the wooden chair, grinning at the beautiful woman in front of me.
Nix whispered to them, double checking their consent and limits. I loved how seriously he took everyone’s pleasure. He wanted them to trust him, he wanted this to be a good experience. It wasn’t until the stereo started playing a haunting tune with a sensual beat that Nix completely slipped into his dominant role.
“Strip for them,” Nix ordered while lighting a couple of candles he’d found, and the room started to smell like vanilla and sex. The woman, Beth, sauntered towards me and started slipping out of her red dress. Easing the front zipper down her body slowly, she let the swells of her breasts free as she bit her lip, watching my response to her.
I could appreciate a pretty body. Even if I’d never been attracted to a woman, I was enthralled with her confidence. Turned on by her enthusiasm. Her perky nipples were pink, and she spun around, showing me her muscular back and the angel wings tattooed on her soft, creamy skin. She was beautiful. Since we weren’t making eye contact, I felt brave. I knew that Nix said no talking, but I couldn’t help myself. I was curious.
“What do you love most about this?” I asked in a small whisper. “Do you ever get jealous?”
Being the perfect submissive that she was, Beth turned to Nix before answering me, wordlessly asking his permission to answer. He let out a dissatisfied scowl towards me before nodding once. I was never one to follow the rules, and I could never truly see Nix as a dominant. We were equals in every sense.
“Does this make you jealous?” she asked as she sauntered towards Blaise. He had his eyes on her body, cautiously roaming her skin with interest. There was an old pang in my chest, one that hadn’t been there for a long while. It still felt just as intense as it did when we were teens. It was one of the cruelest forms of jealousy, one that made me feel inadequate.