Leah's Song

by Daphne James Huff

  “That sounds like fun.” I was trying to be a good friend. That’s what a friend would say, right?

  “Yeah, it was okay.”

  I thought about my plan to ask him to do something. Anything. Grab a slice of pizza. Watch a dumb video online. But everything in my head sounded like a date, and he had just confirmed that he was most definitely with Madison. I couldn’t ask out a guy who had a girlfriend.

  The bell rang before I had a chance to figure it out. He gave me a smile, bigger this time, before he turned to head to his first class.

  “It was really great talking to you, Leah,” he said, his eyes sparkling. “I’ll see you in choir? We could talk some more?”

  I nodded eagerly. It wasn’t what I wanted, but I’d take whatever I could get. I knew what I wanted now, and if it took a while to get it, so be it. I had waited this long. A few more days or weeks would be nothing.

  Chapter Twenty

  The competition weekend was fast approaching. With only a few days to go, Mr. Price was surprisingly calm along with most of the choir. Only the freshmen were showing any nerves. And me. This was their first time competing as well as mine. I wished we’d had another concert to practice everything again in front of an audience. Instead, there was one a week afterwards as a kind of celebration. The band and orchestra played as well since their competitions were all happening in the same month. There would be a party afterwards, in the gym, with the entire music department and parents and everything.

  I tried to think about the party happening in a week instead of the competition in a few days. I tried to focus on the music, and the shape of my mouth, and my posture, instead of the feeling of Amanda’s eyes on me and the fact that Brandon and Josh were both so close to me. Mr. Price had rearranged the singers the past few days in an effort to change the way we heard the harmonies. Josh was standing only two people away from me now.

  Then, Wednesday, as we were setting up in the auditorium (to better hear how we’d sound during the competition), Mr. Price came sweeping in, his face serious.

  “Leah, I need to talk to you,” he said, waving me over.

  My heart dropped into my stomach as my mind raced through the possibilities. Had I done something wrong? Was it Jenn or Luke? My parents?

  “How are you feeling?” he said, looking at me closely.

  I frowned. Did he know about all the Lilly drama? He was a pretty cool teacher, but I didn’t realize he was that aware of our personal lives.

  “You were out last week for a few days,” he said. “Feeling better now?”

  Oh, that’s what he meant. That was a relief. I nodded, and smiled, trying to appear happier than I felt.

  “Melissa is sick,” he said, pulling me aside as everyone else chattered on stage without even trying to hide their curious stares. “She has mono.”

  She had been looking pretty ill all week, and she hadn’t been singing at her best, but I just figured she was nervous. I had not expected mono, though. There had been a breakout of mono last year among the juniors, and I prayed this wasn’t a start of a new pandemic. Not that I’d be in any danger. I wonder who Melissa has been kissing....

  “She won’t be singing this weekend,” Mr. Price said, pulling me out of my thoughts. “I’d like you to sing the solo.”

  “I can’t!” I said automatically, shaking my head. I looked over to the stage and saw Brandon. He’d been so disappointed in me after the concert. He’d barely spoken to me in the two months since then. Our lessons had completely stopped. It hurt to think that we’d been friends and he could have just dismissed me so quickly. At least Amanda was still hanging out with me. Less than before, since she was Lilly’s friend too, but it was something.

  Amanda! I felt my heart sink. Would she be jealous that I was doing it now? I didn’t want to lose the one friend I had left.

  “Leah, you were always really good in rehearsals. It was just the stress of the performance that got to you,” Mr. Price was saying in a reassuring tone.

  “And I won’t be stressed this time?” I cried, and a few curious eyebrows were raised on the stage.

  “It’ll be fine,” he said with a smile. “I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t think you could do it.”

  Well, at least one of us thinks I can do it. I must have looked as panicked as I felt because he took a deep breath before telling me, “Well, if you really don’t want to, I can ask Katie.”

  I felt a flare of something that might have been jealously.

  “Can I think about it and tell you tomorrow?”

  He shook his head.

  “We only have three rehearsals left,” he said. “I need to use all of them with the new soloist.”

  I bit my lip, undecided. A part of me still wanted it. I had been so excited before the winter concert when thinking about singing in front of everyone. And now, I knew how much singing meant to me. Choir had been the one high point of the past few months, even with the embarrassment of the concert and awkwardness of having Josh and Brandon there. When I was singing, everything else just melted away. I loved the way the music would just wash over me.

  Mr. Price must have seen the hesitation in my expression.

  “You can try it this first time we run through it, okay?” he suggested. I nodded. “If you don’t want to do it, just shake your head after, and I’ll have everyone take a break so I can tell Katie.”

  I nodded again to show I understood and headed back onto the stage. He followed behind, calling for everyone’s attention. I took my place behind Amanda.

  “All right, everyone, change of plans,” he said. “With Melissa out sick, we’ll have Leah do the solo again.”

  There was a bit of grumbling. I had messed up, after all. They didn’t want the same thing to happen on Saturday.

  Amanda turned and smiled up at me, mouthing “Awesome!” I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. She wasn’t jealous! I started to feel a tiny bit excited.

  “Now, we’ve all been nervous in front of audiences,” Mr. Price said with a glance at the people who were grumbling the loudest. “I know we want to do well on Saturday, and I think our best chance is with Leah singing.”

  I glanced quickly to where Brandon and Josh were standing. Brandon was looking forward, not looking at me, but also not grumbling. That was something at least. Josh had a smile on his face and gave me a thumbs up. I had the sudden urge to giggle. Instead, I took a deep breath in an attempt to keep the rising heat out of my cheeks.

  Mr. Price held up his hands, and we all prepared to start the song. I moved down to the front of the stage. I shut everything else out of my mind and gave it everything I had. I remembered every single word.

  When it was over, I opened my eyes and saw Mr. Price grinning. I realized I was, too. I nodded once. I could do this.

  The next day, Mr. Price had a special rehearsal set up after school so that we could practice in front of an audience. It wasn’t a concert; just the other choir class and the bands all coming to listen to us. We’d attended the band’s extra rehearsal a few days prior. I had tried not to stare at Lilly too much while she played. She had been perfect, as usual.

  Now, I was painfully aware of her sitting in the audience. There were also a few football players and cheerleaders there, which was unusual. As we were all getting into our places, I went over to Josh, an eyebrow raised.

  “You invited the football team?” I asked, trying to keep the panic out of my voice. It wasn’t really them I was that worried about. But the cheerleaders were another story.

  He shrugged.

  “They’re all in the music appreciation class, so this counts as their extra credit.”

  My stomach twisted in knots knowing that Madison was there watching. I didn’t know if she knew, or even cared, who I was.

  I scanned the crowd again until my eyes found Lilly. She was sitting next to Jeff. She looked happy. That was a good sign, right? It was making me crazy not knowing what was going on in her life. It felt so strange
that we hadn’t spoken for weeks. I had told myself I’d wait until after the choir competition to apologize for the hundredth time, but seeing her in the audience made me think about trying sooner.

  We went through all of our songs and everything sounded great. I felt a surge of relief wash over me. As everyone started to leave, Amanda came up to me to talk, but I told her I wanted to go find Lilly. She nodded encouragingly. My eyes scanned the emptying auditorium, but I didn’t see her anywhere. I felt strangely deflated despite the praise Mr. Price was heaping on us for the excellent rehearsal. When I saw Josh join Madison and her group, my mood soured even more.

  “You were great, Leah,” I heard someone say and turned to see Brandon offering me a smile. I gave him a hesitant one back, not sure I was ready to forget how he’d been ignoring me the past few months. I guess he could tell I wasn’t totally open to rekindling our friendship, and he headed off the stage with a wave. I sighed and sat in one of the chairs looking out into the empty auditorium, alone again despite everything.

  “Leah, it’s for you!” Luke was yelling up the stairs. I hadn’t even heard the phone ring; I was so lost in my thoughts. It was Friday night, less than twenty-four hours to go before the competition. I had been trying to figure out if I should do anything special to get ready. I knew Lilly had a whole ritual for the night before a competition, but I didn’t want to use hers. Making up my own, however, was proving more difficult than I’d imagined.

  I picked up the phone and waited to hear the click to let me know he’d put down the extension in the kitchen. It didn’t come right away, so a testy “Luuuuke” got him to finally do it.

  “Hello?” I said, not knowing who to expect on the other end. A tiny part of me hoped it would be Lilly, ready to give me advice on how to prepare for tomorrow.

  “Hi.” My heart fluttered at the sound of Josh’s voice. “I wanted to check in to see how you’re feeling for the big day tomorrow.”

  “Not so great,” I admitted, shifting on my bed to sit up and cross my legs. “I’ve never been this nervous before. I feel like I’m going to puke. I don’t think I can do this.”

  I cringed a little at the word ‘puke.’

  “Well, that’s how you know you can do it,” he said. I could almost hear the smile in his voice.

  I laughed, but it turned into a groan halfway through.

  “You’ll be great tomorrow,” he said, and I pressed my ear to the phone as if that would make him appear next to me. “I wish I could be there.”

  My heart stopped.

  “What?”

  “My aunt just died, and my parents have to head back east to take care of things.”

  “You’re going with them?” My voice was surprisingly calm given the state of panic I was suddenly in.

  “No, I need to stay here to take care of Matt and Abby,” he said, bitterness lacing his voice. “There was no way for them to afford all the tickets last minute like this. So I can’t go say goodbye, and I can’t go to the competition.”

  “That’s not fair! You worked so hard!”

  “I know,” he let out a long sigh. “But there’s always next year. I just wish I could hear you sing.”

  I wished for a lot of things, but I didn’t say any of them out loud. Instead, I sighed as well. I didn’t know what else to say, so I thanked him for calling to tell me and hung up, knowing no bedtime routine on the planet could help calm me down now.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The next morning, I was awake before the sun was up. That never happened, especially lately, preferring to sleep all the time to forget about the mess things were in. But today, my body refused to calm down. I knew it would be bad news for my voice, so I lay in bed trying to rest regardless. I thought about the things I had been told to eat to avoid gas or rumblings. I would make myself some tea in a while, and I had to make sure I stayed hydrated throughout the day. I had to be at the competition site by noon. My car had been making a weird noise, so it was in the shop. My parents had all sorts of appointments all morning, but they said they’d make it over to hear me sing and could drive me back. I was trying not to get too excited thinking about them hearing me sing again and, this time, there was no risk of them walking out for anything soccer related since the season was long over. Jenn would drive me over since she was heading in that direction anyway to meet up with her friends. It was very nice of her, all things considered. I hated that I had failed so miserably in my Brandon plan. Not that I had even gotten that far in my planning without Lilly’s help.

  My relative calm was interrupted by a commotion downstairs. I tried to ignore it, wanting to hold onto the sense of peace that I was hoping would get me through the day. After a few minutes, I knew it was pointless. I heard both of my parents yelling, and Jenn as well, and it was starting to reach a dangerous level that I’m sure the rest of the Drive would hear.

  I dragged myself out of bed and stumbled down the hall to the stairs. I could start to make out some words.

  “What do you mean arrested?” I heard Jenn’s angry voice screaming.

  I stopped with my foot poised over the top step. Arrested? My stomach sank. I realized I hadn’t heard Luke’s voice yet, and his bed had been empty when I passed by his room.

  “It’s something that happened early this morning.” It was my mother speaking now. “Apparently, he snuck out last night and was involved in… something. We’ll get into the details later.”

  “Well, I need the car today,” Jenn was saying.

  “I’d like to remind you that it’s actually our car, Jennifer Anne.” My father’s stern voice drifted up the stairs. He sounded a bit calmer than the other two, but I didn’t want to get caught up in whatever was happening. I decided to wait things out upstairs and settled myself on the top step. “I don’t remember you contributing anything towards buying or maintaining it.”

  Ha! At least I’m able to pay for some things.

  My gloating quickly vanished when I realized what this all meant. What had happened to my parents’ car? Why did they need Jenn’s? How was I going to get to the concert?

  “You’ll just have to call one of your friends to come pick you up,” said my mom. I could hear the scrape of a kitchen chair as she stood. “Tom, are you ready to go? We need to be there by nine to meet the lawyer.”

  “This is so unfair!” cried Jenn. “I’m the one that’s punished for Luke being a total waste?”

  “He is not a waste!” cried my father. “He is a confused young man who has taken up with the wrong crowd. This will all be sorted out today.”

  They came through the living room, and I heard their tired sighs as they headed out the door. I tentatively tiptoed down the stairs, my heart pounding. No one had mentioned me during this heated exchange, and I tried not to let the panic totally overwhelm me as I went through my options. First, I needed food, I decided.

  I walked into the kitchen without saying a word, passing a silent Jenn sitting at the table. She was chewing her pancakes with a kind of violent concentration, probably imagining Luke’s face as she stabbed at them. I would be doing the same if I let myself feel anything other than panic. I could be mad at him tomorrow. Right now, I needed a plan. But Lilly, the planner, was still not speaking to me.

  Food first, Leah. Concentrate.

  There were no pancakes left for me, I noticed with a frown, but I was supposed to avoid sugary things anyway. I pulled out some whole grain bread and peanut butter, grabbed a peach from the fruit bowl. I sat down facing Jenn, waiting to see if she said something. If she remembered that I needed her today.

  “So Luke is apparently in jail,” she said after about five minutes of us chewing. Her voice was simmering with barely controlled anger.

  “Yeah, I heard a bit of you guys talking about it.” Well, yelling, but she already knew that. I cracked into my toast, and she visibly cringed. Everything was annoying her today.

  She let out a huge sigh.

  “Someone hit mom and dad’s car last night
where it was parked in front of the house,” she said. “So they need mine.”

  “Who hit it?”

  She shook her head.

  “No note. They said they’ll ask the neighbors when they get back. Maybe somebody saw something.”

  I thought about asking Lilly, but this seemed like a weird situation to try to take advantage of to start speaking again. “Hey, sorry again about that big betrayal, but did you see anyone hit my dad’s car last night?”

  “I guess I’ll call Libby to see if she has room in her car to drive me over to Shepardsville,” she said, standing and clearing her plate.

  It seemed like a good opportunities to ask her, as much as I didn’t want to.

  “Do you think she could give me a ride, too?” I asked in a small voice, not even daring to hope the answer would be yes.

  Another huge sigh.

  “I don’t know, Leah,” she sounded exhausted, as if she was the one who had to go deal with Luke and the police. “I don’t think she was getting ready until a lot later, which is why I had the time to take you. I can’t ask her to change her plans for you.”

  “I know, I just don’t really know what else to do.” I tried not to let the tremble of tears come through in my voice. I looked away, out the window, so she couldn’t see how upset I was.

  “It’s not her fault someone hit their car,” she said, rising off her plate in the sink. She stuck it in the dishwasher with more force than necessary. “It’s not her fault Luke is a total turd. I’m already being punished here for his mistakes. Don’t bring my friends into it, too.”

  I nodded. A single tear dropped onto my cheek, and I brushed it away quickly.

  “What about that Amanda girl?” she suggested.

  “I thought of her, but she lives all the way in the opposite direction. I don’t want to bother her.”

  “You won’t ask your friends, but you’ll bother my friends?” Jenn shook her head. “Just ask, Leah. What’s the worst that could happen?”