Torn

by Amanda Hocking

  “But you predicted the attack at my christening ceremony,” I countered. “I saw the painting. You painted the ballroom on fire.”

  “Yes, and I couldn’t stop it,” she said icily.

  “You didn’t even try! You didn’t warn me or cancel the ceremony!”

  “I tried to stop it!” She shot me an angry glare that would’ve made me cringe before, but not anymore. “I met with people. I discussed it with everyone. I told Finn and all the trackers. But I had nothing to go on. I only saw fire and chandeliers and smoke. No people. Not the room. Not even a timeframe. Do you know how many chandeliers there are in the palace alone? What was I supposed to do? Tell everyone to avoid chandeliers forever?”

  “No. I don’t know,” I stammered. “You could’ve done… something.”

  “It’s not until after that I understand what the vision means,” Elora said, more to herself than me. “It’s that way with all of them. It’s almost worse being able to see the future. I don’t know what it means, and I can’t stop it. Only after, it all seems so obvious.”

  “So then what are you saying?” I asked. “I won’t be Queen?”

  “No. I’m saying that the painting doesn’t mean anything.” She closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I’m getting a terrible migraine. I’d rather not continue this conversation anymore.”

  “Fine. Whatever.” I threw my hands up in the air, knowing I couldn’t force things with Elora. I was lucky she hadn’t summoned Finn to drag me out of here.

  Then I remembered that Finn was here. I hadn’t been able to say much of anything in the car ride to Förening, but I definitely still had a lot to say to him.

  I left the parlor to go track down Finn. I should be more concerned with other things, but right then, I only wanted to find a moment alone with him. A moment where we could really talk and I could … I don’t know. But I had to see him.

  Instead of Finn, I found Duncan waiting a little ways down the hall. He’d been leaning against the wall, playing with his phone, but when I came out of the room, he’d straightened up. He offered a sheepish smile, and his attempt at quickly shoving his phone in his pocket only made him drop it.

  “Sorry.” Duncan scrambled to pick it up when I met him. “I just wanted to give you alone time with your mother.”

  “Thanks.” I started walking, and he walked with me. “Why were you waiting for me? Did you need something?”

  “No. I’m your tracker now. Remember?” He looked embarrassed. “And the Vittra are really after you, so I’m on guard all the time now.”

  “Right,” I nodded. I’d been hoping that since Finn had saved my life – again – he’d be reinstated as my tracker. “Where’s Finn? I need to talk to him.”

  “Finn?” Duncan’s steps faltered. “Um, he’s not your tracker anymore.”

  “No, I know that. And it’s not a condemnation of your ability.” I forced a smile. “I wanted to talk to Finn for a minute.”

  “No, yeah.” He shook his head. “It’s just that…” He seemed to be floundering, so I stopped walking. “I mean, he’s not your tracker. So… he left.”

  “He left?” I felt that familiar pang shoot through my heart.

  I shouldn’t be surprised, and I shouldn’t let it hurt me anymore. But it sprung open fresh, just like when he’d left before.

  “Yeah.” Duncan stared at his feet and fiddled with his zipper. “You’re safe and everything. His job’s done, right?”

  “Right,” I said numbly.

  I could’ve asked where Finn had gone to, and maybe I should’ve. He couldn’t have gotten too far that fast. I’m sure Finn would say he left to protect me, or protect my honor, or something like that. But I didn’t care.

  Right then, it didn’t matter what his reasons were. All I knew was that I was sick of him breaking my heart.

  9. Underrated

  Tove couldn’t fix Rhys because that’s not how his abilities work. When I went upstairs after my talk with Elora, I had to send Rhys down for her to fix him. I could’ve gone with him, but I thought that Elora had her fill of me for the day.

  Tove went to his house to get some rest, and I thanked him for everything he’d done. Without him, I’m not entirely sure we could’ve gotten out. Even with Oren’s lax security, Tove had opened the door and kept the trolls at bay.

  Rhys had started getting Matt settled in one of the spare rooms down the hall from mine. I went to see how he was doing, and Duncan seemed far too content to follow at my heels. It took a lot of convincing, but I managed to get him to wait outside. Duncan didn’t trust Matt because he was human, but if he was going to be my tracker, he had to learn to deal with it.

  Matt stood in the middle of the room, looking lost, and he’d never been the kind of guy that got lost. He’d changed into a pair of sweatpants that fit okay, but his tee shirt was snug, so I assumed he’d borrowed them from Rhys.

  “How are you doing with all of this?” I asked, closing the bedroom door quietly behind me when I came in.

  Duncan kept his post right outside, and I didn’t want him listening. Not that I planned on saying anything secret. I just wanted a moment alone with my brother.

  “Um… great?” He gave me a sad smile and shook his head. “I don’t know. How am I supposed to be doing with everything?”

  “About like this.”

  “None of this seems real, you know?” Matt sat down on the bed and sighed. “I keep thinking I’ll wake up, and this will all be a very strange dream.”

  “I know the feeling exactly.” I remembered how confusing and scary everything had seemed when I first got here. It still seemed that way most of the time.

  “How long am I staying here?” Matt asked.

  “I don’t know. I hadn’t really thought about it.” I came over and sat on the bed next to him. Honestly, I wanted him to stay here forever, but that’d be selfish. “I guess until this all blows over. When the Vittra stop being a threat.”

  “Why are they coming after you?”

  “It’s a very long story, and I’ll tell you later.” I wanted to tell him, but I didn’t have the strength for that lengthy explanation. At least not right now.

  “But they will stop, won’t they?” Matt asked, and I nodded as if I actually believed it.

  “Until then, I want you to stay here. I need to know you’re safe,” I said. I wasn’t sure how Elora would feel about that, but I didn’t care.

  “Yeah, I know the feeling,” he said with an edge to his voice, and guilt tightened my heart.

  “I’m really sorry about that, Matt.”

  “You could’ve told me about all of this.”

  “You wouldn’t have believed any of it.”

  “Wendy. This is me, okay?” He turned to face me, and I finally looked at him. “Yeah, this is really hard to believe, and I know that if I hadn’t seen it for myself, I’d find it even harder. But I’ve always been on your side. You should’ve trusted me.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.” I lowered my eyes. “But I’m glad you’re here and that I’m telling you stuff now. It was hard for me, keeping things from you. I don’t wanna do it again.”

  “Good.”

  “But you should call Maggie,” I said. “She needs to know where we are, and she can’t go home. Not now. I don’t know if they would take her to get at me.”

  “Are you safe here?” Matt asked. “Like really safe?”

  “Yeah, of course I am.” I said it with more conviction than I really had. “Duncan’s outside standing guard right now.”

  “That kid’s an idiot,” Matt said seriously, and I laughed.

  “No, we’re safe. Don’t worry,” I assured him as I stood up. “But you should call Maggie, and I should shower and put on my own clothes.”

  “What should I tell her?”

  “I don’t know.” I shook my head. “Just make sure she doesn’t go home.”

  I promised Matt I’d see him later and explain more to him then, but I needed a mo
ment to decompress. Duncan tried to follow me down the hall into my room, but I wouldn’t let him in.

  It wasn’t until I was in the shower, with the sound of the water drowning me out, that I let myself cry. I don’t even really know why I was crying. Part of it had to do with Finn, leaving me that way again, but most of it was just because it was too much.

  After I got dressed, I felt better. Everything had turned out alright, as in we all survived with only minor injuries. On top of that, I got to have Matt around me again. I didn’t know for how long, but at least he knew the truth now.

  And I finally knew why the Vittra were so fixated on me. Sure, the answer didn’t really make things any easier, but I understood, and that was something.

  When I thought about it, the only real dark spot was Finn’s absence. It left a dull ache inside my chest, but I had to ignore it. There were too many other things going for me to sit around missing him.

  I hated that he’d even come at all. It would’ve been easier if he’d just left me alone, and I’d never seen him again.

  I went over to Matt’s room and discovered Rhys keeping him company. Elora had fixed him, much to my relief, and Rhys said that I’d have to begin my “training” soon to harness my abilities. I didn’t know exactly what that would entail, but I didn’t want to pump him for information.

  I sat down in an overstuffed chair in his room and decided to tell Matt everything. Rhys had told him some in the Vittra dungeon, but I wanted to fill in the blanks. More importantly, I thought Matt needed to hear it from me.

  I started from the beginning, explaining how Elora had switched me for Rhys. I told him how Finn had been sent to track me and bring me here, about what it meant to be a Princess, and about the Trylle and their abilities.

  The whole time I talked, Rhys said nothing but watched with rapt interest. I’m not sure how much of this he already knew.

  Matt didn’t say much of anything, either, only asking the occasional question. He began pacing when I started talking, but he didn’t seem anxious or confused. When I finished, he stood silently for a minute, absorbing it all.

  “So?” I asked when he still didn’t say anything.

  “So… do you guys still eat?” Matt looked over at me. “Cause I’m starving.”

  “Yeah, of course we do,” I smiled, feeling relieved.

  “I wouldn’t call what they eat food,” Rhys scoffed. He’d been sitting on the bed, but he stood since the conversation appeared to be wrapping up.

  “What do you mean?” Matt asked.

  “Well, you lived with Wendy. You have to know how she eats.” Rhys realized he might have said something wrong, and he hurried to correct it. “Trylle are more careful eaters than us. They don’t drink pop or eat meat really.”

  Matt stared at Rhys for a moment longer, then glanced at me. There was something new in Matt’s eyes, something I was feeling for the first time myself. Rhys had just put Matt and himself into an “us” versus me in a “them.”

  I had never and could never think of Matt as less than me, but we were different. We were separate. And despite all the differences between us that had been so obvious, it felt weird to actually know it, to have someone articulate that we weren’t even the same species.

  “Fortunately, I have a fridge stocked with real food,” Rhys pushed on, trying to change the mood in the room. “And I’m a pretty decent cook. Ask Wendy.”

  “Yeah, he’s pretty good,” I lied, but I wasn’t that hungry anymore. My stomach had tightened, and I was amazed that I could even force a smile at them both. “Come on. Let’s get some food.”

  Rhys thought that talking nonstop would make up for his small blunder, and neither Matt nor I contradicted him. We walked down to the kitchen, with Duncan tagging along as soon as I’d left Matt’s room.

  Duncan’s constant presence irritated me far more than Finn’s ever had, even though Duncan hadn’t really done anything. Maybe it was simply because he was there and Finn wasn’t.

  I pulled up a stool to the kitchen counter and watched Matt and Rhys interact. Rhys kept playing up his cooking skills, but once Matt saw him in action, he realized that he’d better take the lead. I propped my chin up on my hand, feeling all sorts of conflicting emotions as they talked and laughed and teased each other.

  Part of me was thrilled that they got to have each other in their lives, the way they should’ve from the beginning. Depriving Rhys of a wonderful big brother like Matt had been a very cruel side effect of the changeling process.

  But part of me couldn’t help but feel like I was losing my brother.

  “Do you mind if I have a water?” Duncan asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

  “Why would I care if you had a water?” I looked at him like he was an idiot, but he didn’t notice. Or maybe he got it so often, he thought that was how people looked at him.

  “I don’t know. Some Trylle don’t like when trackers use their stuff.” Duncan went over to the fridge to get a bottled water, while Matt attempted to teach Rhys how to flip blueberry flapjacks. It was almost noon, but none of us had breakfast yet.

  “Well, how do you eat and drink if you don’t use their stuff?” I asked Duncan.

  “Buy our own.” With the fridge still open, Duncan held a water towards me. “Do you want one?”

  “Yeah, sure,” I shrugged. He walked over and handed it to me. “You’ve been doing this for a long time?”

  “Almost twelve years, I think.” Duncan unscrewed his bottle and took a long drink. “Wow. It’s weird it’s been that long.”

  “Are you really the best they had?” I asked, trying to keep the skepticism out of my voice.

  His shoes still weren’t tied, and he seemed a little too amazed by Matt’s ability to make pancakes. He didn’t exude any of the confidence or formality that Finn had, but then again, I’d probably like it better that way.

  “No,” Duncan admitted, and if my question shamed him, he didn’t show it. He just played with his bottle cap. “But I’m pretty close. My appearance is deceiving, but that’s part of why I’m good. People underestimate me.”

  Something about the way he said that made me flash onto Scream. Maybe Duncan had a bit of that clumsy, unassuming boyish charm.

  “Did anybody ever tell you that you remind them of Deputy Dewey from the Scream movies?” I asked.

  “You mean David Arquette?” Duncan asked. “But I’m better looking, right?”

  “Oh yeah, definitely,” I nodded. I could never see myself being attracted to him, but he was kinda foxy. In his own way.

  Rhys swore as a flapjack landed on the floor with a splat. Matt patiently tried to explain what he’d done wrong and how to correct it, using the same tone of voice he’d used to teach me how to tie my shoes, ride a bike, and drive a car. It was so strange seeing him be the older brother to somebody else.

  “Wendy!” Willa shouted from behind me, and I’d barely turned around when she came running over to me. She threw her arms around me, shocking me with a fierce hug. “I’m so glad you’re alright!”

  “Um, thanks,” I said, detangling myself from her hug.

  Willa Strom was a few years older than me, and the only Trylle other than Finn that actually called me “Wendy” instead of “Princess,” so I guess that made us friends. Her father, Garrett, was Elora’s only friend, and Willa had been insanely helpful and kind after Finn left the first time. Without her, the christening ceremony would’ve been a disaster even before the Vittra broke in.

  “My dad was telling me that the Vittra had kidnapped you, and nobody knew for sure what was going on.” Willa could be snobby, but the concern on her face was sincere. “I rushed over here as soon as I heard you were back. I’m so glad you’re here.”

  “Yeah, me too,” I said, but I wasn’t sure if that was true or not.

  “Duncan?” Willa looked at him, as if noticing he were here for the first time. “You’ve got to be kidding me. There is no way Elora would let you be her tracker.”

/>   “See? Underrated,” Duncan smiled. He seemed to take some pride in it, so I let him have it.

  “Oh my god. I’m gonna talk to my dad.” Willa shook her head, tucking her perfectly tamed light-brown waves of hair behind her ears. “There’s no way he can do this.”

  “It’s fine. I’m fine,” I shrugged. “I’m in the palace. What can happen here?”

  Willa gave me a knowing look, but thankfully, before she could say something, Matt announced breakfast was done. When I had been regaling him with the tales of being Trylle, I had conveniently left out the part about the Vittra busting in here or Oren being my father. I thought it would freak him out too much.

  “Are you gonna eat some too?” Matt asked Willa. He dished up the flapjacks, and polite as ever, he’d included her. “We’ve got plenty to go around.”

  “Are those blueberry?” Willa wrinkled her nose, looking totally disgusted by the prospect of eating them. “Eww. No way.”

  “They’re really good.” Matt slid a plate towards her.

  For reasons I didn’t completely understand, we didn’t enjoy many foods. We mostly ate fresh fruits and vegetables. I didn’t like juice of any kind, although I did like some wine. Pancakes were made with processed flour and sugar, so they were never that appealing, although I had been eating them for years to appease Matt.

  “You’re not gonna eat those, are you?” Willa was completely aghast as I picked up my fork and prepared to dig in.

  Matt had given Duncan a plate too. I’m sure the pancakes sounded as appealing to him as they did Willa and me, but Duncan followed suit and picked up his fork.

  “They’re pretty good,” I said.

  I had been assured by people over the years that they were really good, although I’m not sure how anyone could taste them after they drowned them in the syrup the way Matt and Rhys were doing. Duncan and I declined syrup. There’d be no way we could even force them down with that.

  “I’ve cooked for Wendy for years,” Matt said, unfazed by Willa’s reaction. “I know how to make food that she likes.”