Tools of the Devil

by Barbara L. Clanton

  Lisa threw her coat onto the pile and sat with her friends.

  Anne clapped her hands twice to get them to settle down. “You’re all excited about this new project, aren’t you?”

  A chorus of hoots filled the room.

  “Well, good, because I think, if we do this right, we can help a lot of people.” Anne reached up to flick a lock of gray hair out of her eyes. “We have to set some ground rules before we get started though. The gentlemen to my right,” she pointed to Jordan and Ronnie, “will outline the basic rules, but I want everyone to understand that enlightening others is what’s behind the spirit of this debate. Okay? Religion can be an extremely personal issue, and we are not here to judge anyone.” She looked around at the faces in the room. “Okay?”

  Everyone agreed and then Ronnie and Jordan gave some general outlines of the debate. Apparently swearing and name-calling were not acceptable behaviors. And no matter what people’s personal opinions about religion or other people, everything was to be polite and respectful.

  “Before we get started,” Ronnie said, “Jordan and I have a surprise for you.”

  Jordan scurried over to the wall switches and turned off the lights. Ronnie made a few clicks to his computer and the Respect video they’d made at the last meeting started playing on the screen. The guys had added some smooth background music to the opening title page. It was cool.

  The video had been edited well, and Jordan was a natural on the screen. Lisa hated looking at herself on camera. She thought she looked like a she-giant from the planet Gigantus. Whatever. It didn’t matter what she looked like, though. That was the point of the video, wasn’t it? That everyone was different, so get over yourselves and respect each other already. Lisa realized that also applied when she looked at herself. She wondered how she could get Missy Matthews to watch the video. In less than a day, Missy had become Lisa’s poster child for bigots.

  Once the video was done playing, Jordan said they had a couple more edits to do, but it would go live on the college website and on YouTube by Friday evening. An excited buzz swept the room.

  Channeling that excitement, the group moved on to their new project. Lisa and her friends gathered their thoughts and agreed that Lisa and Marcus should be the main spokespeople. Lisa had had the most experience with religion and the Bible, and Marcus was on the speech and debate team at school. Lisa welcomed the role and her group went over their list of opening one-liner statements.

  “Places,” Jordan called. He was the director of the new video. “Remember this is for educational purposes and the views expressed here may not necessarily represent those of the speakers.” He winked at Ronnie. Clearly Ronnie had made him say that since Ronnie was on the Is-a-Sin side of the debate. Jordan reminded them that Lisa and Marcus’s Not-a-Sin side would start the cross-fire. He reminded them not to use real names, and that pauses could be edited out. Entire scenes could be reshot if necessary, too. He didn’t want them to worry about those technical things.

  Sam gave Lisa a quick kiss for luck, and Lisa stood next to Marcus behind their designated podium which was turned slightly to face the opposition’s identical podium. Alivia was probably chomping at the bit to sling trash at Lisa.

  Lisa spread their notes out so they could read through them one more time. Funny thing, there was no real script for this debate. Each side had to come up with its own arguments and defenses. That was Jordan’s idea, seconded by Ronnie, and approved by Anne. Jordan wanted more spontaneity in the exchanges. He wanted realistic and emotional interactions. Lisa’s nerves ratcheted up a notch when she saw the three video cameras that Anne had somehow rounded up. One was trained directly on her. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves.

  “Ready, teams?” Jordan asked from his directorial position behind the cameras.

  Lisa and Marcus nodded at Jordan. Lisa decided to attack this as if her softball team had taken the field against their arch-rivals East Valley. She knew her team matched up well against East Valley and could beat them on any given day. She set her chin. She was ready.

  “And action,” Jordan called.

  Marcus said matter-of-factly, “Homosexuality is not a sin.” There it was, the main topic of debate.

  Alivia responded. “Your decision to live as gay people is a sin against God’s laws.” It sounded like she meant every word. Maybe she did. Funny thing was, Marcus wasn’t gay.

  Lisa forced herself not to swallow the lump building in her throat. She felt the pressure of representing every single gay person on the entire planet who had ever been told he or she was a sinner. She stood tall and said, “I didn’t decide to be gay, just like I didn’t decide to have brown eyes.”

  “God will heal you.” Ronnie’s voice took on a self-righteous tone.

  Marcus answered, “There’s nothing wrong with us that needs healing.”

  “You are blasphemers for questioning the holy words of the Bible.” Alivia’s eyes flashed.

  “It’s all in the interpretation,” Lisa said willing her voice not to shake, “because the Bible has been used to justify many terrible things like sexism, slavery, murder, wars.” Lisa looked Alivia right in the eye.

  Alivia looked ready to fly over the podium and take Lisa down. Geez, why was she so angry?

  Ronnie answered, “You gay people ignore the Bible’s teachings.”

  Marcus didn’t miss a beat. “The Bible teaches many things if your heart is open.” An excited twitter went up in the crowd. Lisa’s spirits were lifting. She had come up with that line.

  “You must atone to us and to God for what you are,” Alivia snarled. She smacked the podium with her open hand.

  “I will not apologize for who I am,” Lisa roared ignoring their notes. She jabbed a finger toward Alivia. “Least of all to you.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Please accept my gift that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have everything I want.” — Genesis 33:11

  “SAMTHA’S HERE. SAMTHA’S here,” Bridget yelled and flew to the front door. She struggled to turn the knob, but even if she’d been successful, she wouldn’t have been able to open the door. With an almost four-year-old in the house, the deadbolt was bolted twenty-fourseven, so she wouldn’t get curious and walk outside on her own.

  “Thank you, Sweetpea,” Lisa said. She undid the deadbolt and opened the door. Her heart swelled as it usually did when she saw Sam. “Stay here, Bridget,” Lisa said. “Lynnie, come help Sam. It looks like she has a lot of boxes.”

  “Okay.” Lynnie stood up from her usual spot on the couch. Uncharacteristically, she put her book down instead of carrying it with her.

  Lisa and Lynnie threw on their coats and headed out the door and down the shoveled pathway to Sam’s car parked in the street. Lisa wrapped Sam in a bear hug and kissed her right there in the front yard. She didn’t care who saw them. She’d had a week at school with sly looks, whispered words, and wide berths in the hallways. You’d think she was Typhoid Mary or something. But Saturday had finally arrived, and Sam was there to exchange Christmas presents with her and her family. Life was good, so who cared that people knew she was gay?

  “That was brave,” Sam said. “Not that I minded, I just wasn’t expecting it.”

  “It’s cute,” Lynnie said and smiled.

  “Thanks, Lynnie,” Sam said. “Okay, troops. Gather round, we’ve got a lot to bring in.” The trunk of her Sebring was filled with boxes of wrapped Christmas gifts.

  “Cleaned out your garage, eh?” Lisa bumped Sam with her hip.

  “Ha ha.” Sam bumped back. “Ooh, careful with that one, Lynnie. That’s your present.”

  “What is it?” Lynnie held a large box in her arms and shook it gently. “It’s not books.”

  Sam ran an imaginary zipper across her lips and pressed her lips together even tighter.

  “I’ll find out soon, won’t I?” Lynnie headed back into the house leaving Lisa and Sam to bring in the rest of Sam’s packages.


  “Sam,” Lisa reproached, “you know you don’t have to do all of this.” She gestured to the loot they carried.

  “I know.” There was a chipper lilt to Sam’s voice. “I like to.” As they headed toward the house, Sam added, “I have a church for us to go to tomorrow. I know you want to experience other points of view, so Marlee will pick you up, and me and Susie will meet you there. I mean, if you want.”

  “Of course I want. If my parents will let me go. What church is it?” Lisa held the door open for Sam to pass through first.

  “It’s in East Valley. It’s called the Church of God of Love.”

  Lisa’s parents, hearing the conversation as the girls walked in, gave their permission heartily as long as Lisa would be home for Sunday dinner with the family. Sam assured them that would not be a problem. Lisa was secretly pleased that Sam was showing an interest. Their conversations rarely centered around church or God or much of anything religious.

  Once the presents were set under the tree, and every one had a cup of hot chocolate courtesy of Lisa’s mother, Lisa’s father said to Sam, “How’s the youth alliance project going?”

  “Good,” Sam said. “Really good so far. Lisa has a calming presence.”

  “Pfft,” Lisa said in disagreement. Didn’t her nerves show Tuesday night?

  “I know you don’t believe it, Lisa,” Sam said, “but I think a lot of people are going to learn from you. From the way you stand tall and say it like it is.”

  “Thanks, Sam.” Lisa looked at her parents. “That’s our hope, anyway.”

  Lisa’s mother said, “Lisa showed us the Respect video you all put together. Very well done. I hope it enlightens some of the less-enlightened.”

  Sam nodded. “Ronnie and Jordan are the force behind that and they’re also the force behind the one we’re doing now.”

  “Ronnie was the lead in Fiddler on the Roof, right?”

  “Yes, and Jordan is his boyfriend.”

  It seemed weird to Lisa’s ears to hear them talk so opening about gay people, but this was what she and the youth alliance were fighting for. They were basically fighting to make being gay a non-issue.

  “Okay, kids,” Lisa’s mother said. “I think it’s time to give Sam her presents. Bridget, Lawrence Jr. will you do the honors?”

  “Finally,” Lawrence Jr. said and dove under the tree for the presents with Sam’s name on it. Both he and Bridget wore red Santa hats. The tradition in the Brown household was that the one who handed out the gifts got to wear Santa hats. Lisa had given hers up to Lawrence Jr. once he was old enough to help Lynnie.

  “Lynnie,” Sam said, “would you like to hand out my gifts to everyone?”

  “Wait, wait,” Lisa’s father said. He got up and rummaged in the hall closet. “Here you go, Lynnie.” He plunked a plush red and white Santa hat on her head.

  “Thanks, Papa.” Lynnie was most definitely a daddy’s girl.

  Lisa remembered a time when she was the apple of his eye. She still was, she supposed, but she had been in first grade when he came into her life. He hadn’t watched her grow up from a baby. It had always dinged her a little bit that she didn’t share real DNA with him.

  “Thank you, Bridget.” Sam held up a macaroni necklace. The curved noodles had been painted and were covered with glitter. “I love it.” Sam put the necklace over her head and admired it.

  “I got one just like it,” Lisa whispered.

  The presents were opened in a fury. Lisa got a gold heart-shaped necklace and the latest iPhone from Sam. “Thank you, Sam.” Lisa smiled at her girlfriend, but felt a little hollow in the pit of her stomach. The gifts Sam lavished on her family were so expensive. There was no way her family could ever give Sam gifts like that in kind. Sam had received hand-made gifts from the kids and a hat, glove, and scarf set from her parents. Lisa gave Sam a bracelet, but it wasn’t gold like the necklace Sam had given her. It would probably turn Sam’s wrist green in a week.

  The first time Sam brought over expensive gifts for the family, Lisa’s mother and father had vehemently refused to accept them, saying that Sam didn’t have to buy their affection. Sam said it wasn’t anything like that and that she just wanted to make other people happy. That was all. It seemed true enough to Lisa, and after a while her parents eased up on their protests, but not altogether.

  Sam had gotten both Bridget and Lawrence Jr. LeapPad tablets already loaded with age-appropriate educational games. Lawrence Jr. was busy adding up numbers to shoot down aliens. Lisa wished she’d had one of those when she was little. Maybe geometry wouldn’t have been such a chore.

  Lynnie had two boxes from Sam. She’d already opened the smaller one with a Kindle Fire tablet loaded with apps and a dozen books that Sam thought Lynnie would like. Lynnie was sitting quietly sliding her finger across the tablet to see what books Sam had given her.

  “Lynnie,” Sam said, “don’t forget to open your other box. Sam reached for Lisa’s hand. Whatever was in that box was going to be big.

  “Okay.” Lynnie reluctantly put her new Kindle device down and pulled the bigger box closer. Everyone in the room, even Lawrence Jr., stopped what they were doing to watch Lynnie open the gift.

  She reached in the box and pulled out a gift wrapped in green paper with elegant white Christmas trees. The package, like all the rest, had been inexpertly wrapped. During one of their nightly phone conversations, Sam told Lisa she was wrapping each and every one of the gifts herself. And it showed, but Lisa loved Sam all the more for it.

  Lynnie’s face lit up in wonder as she ripped off part of the paper. No one else could see what was underneath. Lynnie looked up at Sam. “Really?”

  “Really,” Sam said. “And I will help you.”

  Lynnie leaped up, her present still in her hands and ran over to hug Sam. Lisa scooted over on the couch, so Lynnie could sit in between them. She knew when she’d been replaced.

  “Open it up, so everyone else can see,” Sam said.

  Lynnie carefully unwrapped the rest of the box and pulled out a delicate violin. Lynnie cradled it gently in her hands.

  “Santa told me you wanted to learn,” Sam said, “and I’ll teach you how to take care of it and how to play it. And the best part?” she looked at Lisa’s parents. “It’s electric as well as acoustic, so she can wear headphones while she practices.”

  “The Lord be praised,” Lisa’s father said looking up to the heavens.

  Lisa’s mother shot him a look for his attempted humor, but she smiled back at Sam and said, “Thank you for all the gifts, Samantha Rose.” Her eyes filled with tears and she choked out, “I don’t know if we can ever repay your kindness. We are truly blessed to have you in our lives.” She stood and pulled Sam into a hug.

  Sam’s eyes were moist when she sat back down. “I’m also blessed, Mrs. Brown. I haven’t really had people to share gifts with. And I will treasure these.” She rubbed her fingers along the necklace Bridget made for her, the bookmark that Lawrence Jr. made with felt, glue, and cut out magazine pictures, and the classical music CD Lynnie had bought for her. “These are really special.”

  “Oh, geez,” Lisa said as she reached for the tissue box. She took one for herself and then sent the box around to Sam and her mother. Her father pretended he hadn’t been tearing up, but Lisa had seen the sheen in his eyes.

  “Okay, family,” Lisa’s mother said. “It’s time to thank Sam, so she and Lisa can be on their way.”

  Promising to be back by eleven o’clock, Sam and Lisa got in Sam’s Sebring. When Sam suggested that Lisa drive, Lisa was ecstatic and grabbed the keys willingly.

  “Where are we headed?”

  “The heater’s working great, so how about a little alone time at the college softball field?”

  “You got it.” Lisa pulled the Sebring away from the curb. She loved the feel of the leather steering wheel cover underneath her gloves. She only had her learner’s permit and was a very careful driver, but they could get in trouble if a cop pu
lled them over. Sam wouldn’t be eighteen for another three weeks. “Hey, what do you want to do for your birthday? Do you want me to throw you a surprise party like we did for Susie?”

  Sam laughed and put her hand on Lisa’s thigh. Although Lisa wore thick jeans against the winter cold and Sam had gloves on, the touch sent a warm signal to all the right places. “If you tell me about it, then it won’t be a surprise.”

  “Oh, yeah. Duh,” Lisa said with a chuckle. “I guess you could pretend you didn’t know.”

  “Actually, I think I want to have a few friends over to the house. We can use Helene’s apartment, you know? It has a kitchen and room for slow dancing.” The hand on Lisa’s leg moved slowly up and then back down. The movement sent a surge of desire through Lisa’s body. God how she had missed Sam. How can this feeling be wrong? How can this feeling be from the Devil? How could you be sent to hell for loving someone? It made no sense.

  The parking lot at the college was empty thankfully, so Lisa parked Sam’s car in the far corner of the lot just beyond the reach of the street lights. A quick move to the back seat and they were lost in desire for each other. Maybe it was true that absence made a person’s heart, and other places, yearn for each other.

  All good things had to end, and after a couple of hours, Lisa reluctantly drove them back to her house. Her father’s pickup truck was in the road where Sam usually parked. “Okay, that’s weird,” she muttered.

  “I guess you should park in the driveway,” Sam said.

  Lisa pulled the Sebring into the driveway next to the family minivan. She turned to face Sam. “I’m going to miss you.”

  “We’ll see each other on Tuesday for the youth alliance.”

  “I know, but it’s hard to leave you.”

  “Same.” Sam’s expression told Lisa everything she wanted to know. The physical closeness they had shared earlier in the backseat had been amazingly life-affirming.