Ruin: Levi Hunter's Story (Black Hearts Still Beat Book 4)

by L A Cotton

  “Yeah.” It came out tight.

  Earlier on the bus, nestled in the bunk together, it was like we’d carved out our own little world. But right here, surrounded by his bandmates and my colleagues and the crew, we were back to being boss and assistant. Rock god and mere mortal.

  “Try and get on my bus tonight.” Levi kept his eyes forward despite the rough demand to his voice.

  He didn’t want me to try, he wanted me to find a way to make it happen.

  “I’m not sure I can.” Disappointment flooded me.

  Before we reached the dressing room, he snagged my hand. Our eyes collided and I found myself lost into two pools of ink. Heat flowed through me. I could feel his desperation for me… his bone-deep need.

  “If you don’t find a way,” he whispered, but he might as well have growled the words. “I will.”

  Levi

  “Surprise.” Hudson’s amused laughter filled the bus. “Look who I found.” He pulled Phoebe in front of him.

  “What the hell?” Her eyes were wide with disbelief. “He just...”

  “Kidnapped you?” Hudson grinned. “You can thank me later.”

  “Seriously, man.” Rafe shook his head. “That was a bum move.”

  “Lighten up, Dad. Our boy Levi was sulking about not being able to spend the night with his girl and I really didn’t want to listen to his bitching so... I fixed it.” He shrugged, moving past Phoebe to help himself to a drink. The bus rumbled us and began moving.

  “Oh, look at that,” he smirked, “too late to send her back.”

  “What did you tell Alistair?” Damon asked.

  I still hadn’t taken my eyes off Phoebe. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes darting between the four of us. She reminded me a lot of Eva in the early days, like a fish out of water. But my girl was less pure, a little more jagged around the edges.

  My girl?

  Fuck.

  I liked the sound of that... too much.

  I’d never opened up to anyone the way I’d opened up to her earlier. Not a therapist or Eva, not even my brother. Of course, he knew stuff. He was there for a lot of it. But he didn’t know. He couldn’t. Because our mother’s hatred, her venomous tongue and cruel touch, was never once directed at him.

  In the end, she’d neglected him too, choosing her beloved vodka over being any kind of mother to us. But he didn’t know.

  Not really.

  “Well, don’t just stand there, Pheebs.” Hudson teased. “Come in, make yourself at home.”

  Phoebe let out a resigned sigh and traipsed over to me, dropping down beside me. “Hi.” She peeked up at me.

  “Hi.” The corner of my mouth tipped. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

  “Neither did I. Alistair is going to—”

  “Relax.” I curved a hand around the back of her neck, stroking the skin there. Phoebe relaxed under my touch. “He knows the kind of shit we get up to.”

  Just then, Damon’s cell started ringing. “Talk of the devil.” He answered. “Yeah, she’s here. No, she’s fine. Yeah.... Okay.” Damon hung up. “The boss says under no circumstances are we to corrupt the intern. Alistair wants to talk to you,” he pointed at Hudson, “tomorrow.”

  “Uh oh, I’m in trouble.” Hudson waggled his brows, downing another beer.

  “Maybe we should ask Duke to stop and—”

  I pressed my mouth to her ear. “You think I’m going to let you go now you’re here?” I couldn’t resist grazing her lobe with my teeth.

  “Oh, Jesus.” Damon groaned. “I’m gonna hit the sack.”

  “Where’s Eva?” Phoebe asked Rafe. He barely looked at her as he answered.

  “She wasn’t feeling too good, so she went straight to bed. In fact,” he stood, “I’m going to join her.”

  “He hates me, doesn’t he?” She let out a defeated sigh, dropping her gaze to her lap.

  “Honeybee, look at me.” I slid my finger under her jaw, tilting her face to mine. “He doesn’t hate you. He hates me. He hates that I’m going to let this happen even though I shouldn’t.”

  “Don’t keep saying that. I’m a grown woman, Levi. I can make my own choices. I know what I’m getting myself into, but it’s too late to stop now.” Her big honey eyes gazed up at me.

  Jesus, this girl.

  This strong, resilient, foolhardy girl.

  I flicked my tongue over her bottom lip, before sucking it into my mouth.

  “Aaaand, that’s me done. Party for one in my bunk again. Unless you two would be down for some—”

  “Fuck off,” I murmured against Phoebe’s mouth, flipping Hudson off to the side. His strained laughter was drowned out by the roar of blood in my ears.

  “Levi,” Phoebe whispered.

  “Yeah, Bee?”

  “Kiss me.”

  “I thought you’d never ask.”

  We stumbled into the tiny bedroom at the back of the bus in a tangle of limbs and laughter. Fuck, the sound did something to me. She did something to me.

  “Hurry,” Phoebe drawled, peeling off her t-shirt.

  “Strip for me, Bee.” I stepped backward until I hit the door, watching her through hooded eyes.

  Slowly unbuttoning her shorts, she pushed them off her hips and let them fall to the floor.

  “Fuck, you are perfection.” My gaze ran over the curves of her body, lingering on the swell of her hips. There was some slight bruising, finger marks. It shouldn’t have affected me as much as it did.

  “I like my mark on you,” I said roughly, toying with my snake bite piercings.

  Phoebe gave me a coy smile but there was nothing pure about the heat in her eyes, as she hooked her bra open and let it slide off her arms.

  “Your turn, rock star,” she breathed, letting her hand trail down between the valley of her tits.

  “Get on the bed,” I commanded, my voice thick with lust. My blood was like molten lava in my veins as I watched her inch backwards, dropping down seductively on the edge of the bed.

  “Open that pretty little mouth, honeybee.” I snapped my belt and unbuttoned my jeans. My dick strained painfully against its confines as I prowled toward her. A predator about to claim its prey.

  By the time I reached Phoebe, I was fisting my dick, aching to get inside her. But first I wanted her to suck me.

  Her eyes were fixated on my Prince Albert piercing as I wound a hand around her hair and guided her mouth to my length. “Suck,” I growled, almost coming on the spot when she flicked her tongue over the steel barbell, twirling it around in her mouth.

  “Christ, Bee, that feels so fucking good.” My grip on her hair tightened as I thrust up into her mouth, barely able to contain myself. Her fingers dug into my ass as she took me deeper, licking and sucking like she couldn’t get enough.

  My balls drew tight, that familiar tingle creeping up my spine. I was so fucking close to exploding. “Shit, Phoebe...” She started jacking me with her hand all while sucking me harder.

  “Fuck... fuuuuuck,” I came without warning, but she didn’t let up, swallowing me down like a fucking pro.

  Red hot jealousy burst in my veins. I didn’t want to think about Phoebe with other guys. She was mine.

  Mine.

  I tore off my t-shirt and shoved my jeans down, kicking out of them. Then I was on her, crawling over her body and pressing her into the mattress. Phoebe wound her legs around my hips, drawing me into her body. I felt her shudder beneath me and froze.

  “You good?” I ran my nose along her jaw, kissing her.

  “Yeah, just a little nervous.” She traced the profile of my face with her fingers. It was such an intimate action, I was paralyzed. No one had ever touched me like I was precious before. Rare and special.

  “You Hunter brothers sure have some good genes.” She kissed me tenderly, slow and lazily as if we had all the time in the world.

  “But I’m the better-looking brother, right?” My brow quirked up, making her chuckle.

  “Oh, I don’t kno
w... if Rafe wasn’t taken, maybe I would—”

  I rocked into her in one smooth stroke, replacing her sassy words with throaty moans. She arched her back, stretching out beneath me as I rode her, slow and deep. My lips latched onto her neck, licking and sucking, dipping lower to circle her nipple and draw it into my mouth.

  “Levi,” she breathed, gasping for breath as I sunk my teeth into the soft flesh.

  But I couldn’t hold back, I couldn’t be soft and gentle... not when I felt like I wanted to rip out of my skin and crawl inside her.

  Grabbing her thigh, I went harder... faster... driving into her over and over, until sweat coated us and the room filled with nothing but the sounds of skin on skin, moan after moan.

  “I can’t... it’s too much...” Phoebe panted, pushing me away, pulling me closer.

  I slipped a hand between us, finding her clit and pinching hard. Her orgasm hit like a wrecking ball, making her cry out as she clung to my body, riding the intense waves of pleasure.

  But I wasn’t done. I kept pounding into her, chasing the release I so desperately needed. My fingers gripped her hips tighter as the endorphins rushed through me. I was close. So fucking close to ecstasy. To that one moment of sheer bliss when all the shit faded away.

  “Levi, God...” she gasped, already drowning in sensation again.

  I buried my face in her neck, smothering my groans as I came.

  “Bee?”

  “Yeah?” Her voice was muffled with exhaustion.

  “You make me want to try,” I confessed, the words coiling through my chest and taking hold.

  “Levi?” she said a couple of seconds later.

  “Yeah?”

  “You make me want to try too.”

  The next morning, I woke to an empty bed. Phoebe’s smell was all over my bed sheets, giving me a serious case of morning wood. I rubbed my eyes, and sat up, the smell of strong coffee and bacon drifting through the crack in the door.

  Climbing out of bed, I pulled on some jeans and went in search of breakfast and my girl.

  I didn’t expect to find her at the small cooktop with Hudson.

  Leaning against the doorjamb, I watched them as they laughed and joked, while Phoebe monitored the pan.

  “So come on, Pheebs, tell me what you really see in Hunter. Is it his stellar personality or that whole The Crow meets Edward Scissorhands vibe he has going on?” Hudson smirked in my direction, and I flipped him off.

  Phoebe’s head whipped around and she smiled. “You’re awake.”

  “Edward Scissorhands, Hud, really?” I raised a brow.

  “You’re so fucking pale, man. You need some tanning lotion, you know, the fake stuff.”

  I flipped him off again, striding towards Phoebe. Her eyes were too busy checking out my ink to see the hunger in mine.

  Hooking an arm around her waist, I leaned down and ghosted my lips over hers.

  “Good morning,” she murmured.

  “Ugh, oh God, I’m think I’m gonna—” Hudson started fake-retching. Phoebe buried her face in my chest, her soft laughter tickling my skin.

  “Fuck off, Ryker. Go play with yourself in the shower or something.”

  “Oh, thinks he’s something special now he’s got a woman.” He went and sat at the table.

  “Hey, what’s going on?” Eva slipped out of the other bedroom. “So, it’s true then?” Her eyes went to Phoebe. “Hudson kidnapped you onto our bus.”

  “Something like that.”

  “Well, I’m glad you’re here.”

  “Rafe?” I asked.

  “He’s still sleeping.”

  “Of course he is,” I grumbled, tightening my arm around Phoebe as she continued cooking the bacon.

  “I missed you.” Dropping my chin on her shoulder, I inhaled deeply.

  “Did you just... smell me?”

  “I can’t help it if you smell so good. You should have woken me up.”

  She tilted her face to mine. “You looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to disturb you.”

  It was true, I had slept well. There had been no twisted dreams, no nightmares... nothing.

  “It’s you, honeybee,” I whispered. “You make it all go quiet.”

  Emotion glittered in Phoebe’s eyes, but she didn’t say anything. I felt Eva watching us, and I lifted my eyes to hers. She smiled warmly.

  “I can help Phoebe,” she said.

  “No,” I replied. “I’ve got this.” Leaning closer, I kissed Phoebe’s cheek, and said, “What do you need me to do?”

  Phoebe

  For the next four days, Levi and I found as many ways as possible to be together. It wasn’t easy, being on the road and getting any quality time together. But somehow, we made it work.

  He’d followed me into arena bathrooms, pulled me into dark corners of the stage. He’d even managed to sneak onto my bus this morning and make me come in the shower before anyone else woke up. We were completely infatuated with each other.

  People noticed the difference. They saw glimpses of a guy who began to smile, to ask people how they were; a guy who laughed.

  God, his laugh was something else. It reverberated inside me and made me all giddy. I was in love with the sound, craved to hear it like an addict craved their next high.

  I knew I was swimming dangerous waters, letting myself fall deeper and deeper.

  But I couldn’t stop myself.

  There was only one problem: I was pretty sure Alistair thought something was going on between me and Hudson.

  “Hey,” I said to him as I approached.

  We were in Portland with back-to-back shows at the Moda Center, and then an intimate gig at The Cellar, a club downtown that was partnering with Masterpiece on their live music events. It was the band’s first performance outside the tour since the Riley scandal and everyone was feeling the pressure.

  Hudson looked up and grinned. “Pheebs, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

  “Can we talk for a second?”

  “Is that code word for like get each other off backstage? Because I’ve been waiting for you to—”

  “Stop, for the love of God, stop.”

  “Sorry, my bad. I’m just really fucking horny.”

  “Yeah, what’s up with that?”

  Usually Hudson had a different girl in every city we visited, but I’d noticed a severe lack of fangirls lately—since the night Levi hooked up with Blondie, actually.

  “Don’t ask,” he gritted out. I sensed a story there, possibly one starting and ending with Eva’s best friend Molly. But I didn’t ask. I already had one rock star’s baggage to deal with. I didn’t need another.

  “Anyway,” I said. “I wanted to ask, has Alistair has said anything else to you?”

  “Ali?” He frowned.

  “Yeah. I get the feeling he thinks there’s something going on... between us.”

  Hudson ran a hand through his hair, offering me a nervous smile.

  My stomach twisted with dread. “Oh no, Hudson, what did you do?”

  “It’s all good, I promise.”

  “Hudson... tell me you didn’t—”

  “I was protecting you... well, Levi.” He gave me a sheepish shrug. “If Ali boy knows the two of you are... he’ll blow a gasket, Levi will go into nuclear meltdown, and everything will turn to shit.”

  “Ugh.” I groaned. This was bad. Really fucking bad. Things were good between me and Levi, really good. But if he realized Alistair thought I was hooking up with Hudson, or worse, Alistair mentioned it to anyone... the fallout would be huge.

  “You should have told me.”

  “I didn’t want you to worry. Alistair isn’t going to say anything. I told him we’d hooked up a couple of times but that it was just sex.”

  “Hudson!”

  Great, so now Alistair thought I was just another fangirl, unable to keep her legs closed for the band.

  “What? It’s better than the truth. Ali knows that girls find it hard to resist all this.” He swept a ha
nd down his body.

  I rolled my eyes. “You know, if you want Molly to give you a shot, maybe you should try not acting like a self-absorbed asshole for two minutes.”

  “I don’t... that’s not... fuck, you’re a real bitch sometimes.”

  “Takes one to know one.” I winked at him.

  Hudson’s shoulders shook with laughter, but then something caught his eye behind me and he paled.

  “Phoebe, a word, please?”

  Shit.

  I turned slowly to see Alistair standing there, a scowl painted on his face.

  “It’s better for the band, remember?” Hudson whispered, and I waved him off, making my way over to Alistair.

  “I haven’t wanted to say anything because quite frankly, this band has had enough to deal with lately, and I know how well you’ve fitted in here. But this thing between you and Hudson. Do I need to be concerned?”

  Heat crept into my cheeks, but I forced myself to meet his concerned gaze. “It’s not like that between us.”

  “Right answer.” He gave me a stiff nod. “The last thing we need is another inter-band relationship.”

  My stomach sank. Hudson was right, Alistair would never accept me and Levi together. Which meant if the truth came out, I would have to choose... Levi or my job.

  I pushed those thoughts out of my mind. Alistair didn’t know. He thought I was hooking up with Hudson, the last person in the band expected to catch feelings.

  “Okay, well, I’m glad we cleared that up.” Alistair loosened his tie. I didn’t quite know why he always wore the damn things given the amount that he tugged and pulled at them.

  I went to walk, but he wasn’t done. “You know, Phoebe,” he said. “I’ve worked with these guys since the beginning and if I’ve learned anything about them, it’s they’re careful about who they let into their inner circle. After Riley, I felt responsible for forcing someone onto them who didn’t have their best interests at heart. Letty has nothing but good things to say about you; same goes for Eva and the guys. You’ve been given the seal of approval. I’d hate to see you do anything to mess it up.”

  With that veiled warning, he gave me a thin smile and left me standing there, with guilt in my stomach and a bad taste in my mouth.