Ruin: Levi Hunter's Story (Black Hearts Still Beat Book 4)

by L A Cotton

  I finally lifted my head to his, drying my eyes with the back of my hand. “You wrote me a love song.”

  He nodded shyly, rubbing his jaw. “I’ve been writing it for a while.”

  “You have?” I balked.

  Levi ran his thumb through my tears, swiping them away. “I’ve wanted to tell you so many times. But every time I tried it was like this fear would take hold and I couldn’t do it. I’m messed-up, Bee. Really fucking messed-up.”

  A couple of people brushed past us and Levi growled, pulling me further into the shadows. I noticed Johnson and Stalter move with us. Always there in the background, guarding Levi.

  “After you left, I went to some bar. I sat there for an hour trying to drink a glass of vodka. An hour. But I couldn’t do it. No matter how much I tried to break her hold on me, I couldn’t do it.”

  “Oh, Levi...”

  “I’m going to see somebody,” he said. “Fiona. She’s nice. I think she’ll be able to help me.”

  “A therapist?”

  He nodded. “She comes highly recommended. It’ll be hard with being on tour, but she thinks we can make it work.”

  “That’s huge, Levi. I’m so proud of you.”

  He glanced down, rubbing the back of his neck. When he looked up again, I saw a flash of vulnerability in his eyes. “I don’t want to be like this anymore, Bee. I want to be better... for you.”

  “Levi, I—”

  “Just hear me out, please.”

  I nodded, feeling a tight ball of emotions lying heavy in my stomach.

  “I spoke to the label.”

  “W- what?”

  “I had a conference call with management this morning. I told them that having you on the tour was non-negotiable. If I couldn’t have you there, then I wasn’t going.”

  “Levi, you can’t—”

  “Already did.” A faint smirk traced his lips. “You’re too important to leave behind, Bee.” He inched closer, taking the air with him. Levi’s hand glided down to my neck, holding me gently. My breath caught in my throat as my body hummed with anticipation.

  “I love you, Phoebe Halstead. I don’t know when or how it happened, but I fell, Bee. I fell so hard that I must have hit my head or something because I know I’ve been an asshole. I know I should have called or texted; but the truth was, I was scared. I was fucking terrified I’d ruined the one good thing in my life.”

  He leaned in, touching his head to mine, breathing deeply. “I love you, Bee. So fucking much. And I know I’m hard work, I know I’m not gonna change overnight, but I’m here and I’m trying. So, what do you say, honeybee? Want to see the world with me?”

  My heart raced in my chest as Levi’s confession flowed through me.

  He loved me.

  Levi Hunter loved me.

  I didn’t know which part to focus on. The fact he’d finally declared his love for me, or that he’d given the label an ultimatum about me.

  It was a lot to process.

  But then, being around Levi had never been a walk in the park. He felt differently to most people. His emotions were often exaggerated and larger than life.

  But he loved me.

  He’d chosen me.

  I wasn’t foolish enough to think there wouldn’t be relapses, or bumps along the way, because addiction was a long, painful road to recovery. But there was no mistaking the steely determination in Levi’s eyes.

  He wanted this.

  He wanted me.

  “Yes,” I breathed. “Yes, I’ll go on tour with you.”

  “And the other part?” he asked in a soft whisper, as if he was almost scared to say the words.

  “What other part?” I teased.

  “Yeah, Bee, the part where you’re mine forever?” His mouth moved dangerously close to mine.

  “Oh, that part... well, I guess we could give it a shot. But I don’t want you to get your hopes—”

  Levi smashed his lips to mine, swallowing my words. I moaned at the taste of him, the feel of his hands on my body, his tongue curling around my own. A couple of people cheered, and I was sure I felt the flash of camera, but it didn’t matter.

  It didn’t matter that we were in a roomful of staff from the label, because I was the girl who owned Levi Hunter’s heart.

  He’d given it to me.

  Handed it over willingly, and this, right here, our lips sliding together, was my promise to keep it safe.

  “I love you Leviathan Hunter,” I breathed against his mouth, finally coming up for air.

  His eyes sparkled with relief, but then smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I love you too, Bee. And I can’t wait to rock your fucking world later.”

  “Tonight was a good night,” Letty said as we all stood near the bar, watching the party rage on around us.

  “The fucking best,” Hudson declared. “I’m so happy for you guys.”

  “Is he okay?” I whispered to Levi, who had his arm wrapped around my waist as I stood with my back to his chest.

  After very publicly claiming me as his, Levi had refused to let me go. We’d spent the entire night chatting to people and working the room together, some part of us always touching. I saw the stares of curiosity, heard the whispers, but I didn’t care. Nothing was going to ruin this night; not a damn thing.

  “Okay?” Hudson overheard me. “I’m better than okay, Pheebs, I’m fan-fucking-great.”

  “I’m sad she couldn’t come too,” Eva said, laying a hand on his arm.

  “I’m not sad... why the fuck would I be sad?”

  Hudson drained the rest of his beer. “Molly isn’t my girl, we’re not together... fuck, I need another beer. Hey, Bryan, get me another.” He waved his empty at someone.

  “I think you’ve had enough,” Damon said.

  “Relax, Dad. It’s a party. We’re celebrating. Levi finally grew some balls and got his girl. Rafe and Eva are having a kid—”

  “What the fuck?” Levi tensed.

  “Uh, Hudson, no we’re not.” Eva frowned, looking to Rafe who just shrugged. “Why would you say that?”

  “Not now, but you will. You’ll get hitched and have babies and ride off into the sunset with your little blonde-hair, gray-eyed, guitar playing kids and all live happily ever—”

  “Okay, that’s it,” Damon grumbled. “I’m cutting you off.” He intercepted the beer from the bartender and refused to give it to Hudson.

  “You’re no fun.”

  “And you’re embarrassing yourself.”

  “Lighten up, man. At least I’m a happy drunk.” Hudson slung his arm around Damon’s neck. “Did I ever tell you how much I love you, D? I’ve been thinking now that these fuckers are all wifed up, maybe you and I should... you know?” He waggled his brows, and the rest of us tried to smother our amusement.

  “I’m glad you’re all finding this funny,” Damon rolled his eyes.

  “Oh, look, it’s Ali boy. Ali, we love you, man.”

  “Uh, thanks.” Alistair’s brows bunched together. “Everything good here?” He ignored Hudson.

  “Yeah, we’re good.” Levi tightened his hold on my waist.

  “Phoebe, I just wanted to apologize—”

  “No apology needed.”

  “Yes, well,” he grimaced, “I still feel like I let you down. Both of you.”

  “Relax, Ali, it all worked out in the end.”

  “You know, Dominic loved Honeybee, he wants to talk to you about—”

  “No,” Levi said without hesitation. “Honeybee is Phoebe’s song. Only she gets to say what happens to it.”

  Oh my.

  Warmth washed over me.

  “I see,” Alistair said. “Well, maybe that is a conversation for another day.”

  But I already knew the answer. Levi had already given the public Drown. But Honeybee, that was ours. It was one part of him I wasn’t prepared to share with the world.

  Ever.

  “When do you head out?”

  “Tomorrow afternoon,” Ra
fe replied.

  “Hell yeah. Two weeks of sun, sand, sea, and s—”

  “Hudson!”

  “What? I was going to say salad. I need to lose a few pounds before we head to Europe.” He patted his rock-hard abs. I knew, I’d seen them enough during my time on tour with the band.

  “Hmm.” Levi brushed my ear. “Two weeks of nothing but sun, sand, sea, and you. Sounds like my idea of heaven.”

  My stomach clenched. This morning, I’d been resigning myself to another day fetching coffee and filing paperwork. But now, I was standing with the world’s hottest rock band on the cusp of their first world tour.

  “Hey, you okay?” Levi asked.

  “Yeah.” I tipped my face to his. “Just thinking how quickly life can change.”

  “No regrets?” His eyes darkened.

  “Only one.” His brow quirked, and I added, “Letting you walk away.”

  “Sometimes you have to lose everything to realize what you had. I’ll never walk away again, Bee. And if I try, promise me you’ll make me stay.”

  “I promise, Levi. I’ll be your anchor.”

  Always.

  We finally left the party. Security flanked the seven of us as we made our way outside to the click click click of cameras. But we never made it into the car. A commotion behind us drew our attention and we all turned to find Hudson on his knees, staring up at... Molly?

  “Mol?” Eva barged through the crush to reach her best friend. “What happened? What are you doin’ here?”

  Mascara-stained tears slid down her cheeks as she hiccoughed. “I- I... I got here and then security wouldn’t let me in. I- I... I waited.”

  Hudson leaped and flew at the doorman, knocking his big body into the wall. “You wouldn’t let her in? Are you a fucking idiot? That’s Molly... it’s—”

  “Hud.” Rafe and Damon yanked him back, directing him to one of the cars. Letty jumped into action, checking the man over

  “Should we do anything?” I asked Levi.

  “They can handle it.”

  Eva wrapped her arm around Molly and led her to the car the guys had just shoved Hudson inside.

  “Levi,” Johnson said, directing us to the first car. We slid inside and I glanced back, trying to make sure everyone was okay.

  “They’ll be fine,” Levi said.

  “But Molly—”

  “Not our problem, Bee. Not tonight.” His eyes sparkled with wicked intent as he traced the lines of my face. “You’re really here,” he whispered, reaching out to ghost his fingers over my face. Relief washed over him, as if the events of the night were finally hitting him.

  “I’m here, Levi.”

  I was vaguely aware of the privacy screen rolling up, separating us from security. Part of me wondered if Levi had planned it this way.

  “Alone at last.” He leaned in, brushing his lips over mine.

  “Here?” I whispered.

  “I need to be inside you, Phoebe,” his voice cracked, “more than I have ever needed anything else.”

  “So what are you waiting for?” My lips curved.

  A deep growl reverberated in his chest and then he was on me. Kissing the air from my lungs and clawing the clothes from my body.

  “Levi, slow down.” Pushing him off me, I hitched my dress around my hips and straddled his legs.

  “Fuck, Bee, you are fucking perfection. But if you don’t speed things up, I’m going to—”

  “Patience, rock star.” I cut him off with a bruising kiss. Levi slipped his tongue into my mouth as he grabbed my hand and pressed it against his dick. “Let me take care of you,” I said, knocking his hand away. He let out an indignant huff but finally relaxed against the leather seat.

  I slowly unzipped his pants, pulling him free. He was so hard and heavy in my hand. I smothered a whimper. Pumping him a couple of times, I rose up on my knees slightly and worked him inside me.

  Our muted groans filled the car as I sank down on him.

  “Fuck.” Levi buried a hand in my hair and kissed me deeply. “I can feel you everywhere, Bee.”

  “M- move,” I choked out, overwhelmed at the feel of him.

  We rocked together, slow torturous circles that hit the deepest parts of me. Levi didn’t try to take control or fuck me harder... he just went with it.

  “God, it’s...” The words got stuck in my throat as he thrust inside me, short shallow strokes that had me whimpering above him.

  He curved a hand around the nape of my neck, anchoring us together. “I’m never going to let you go, Bee. You’re mine now. Mine.”

  “Good,” I said. “Because you’re mine too.”

  My broken, black hearted bad boy of rock.

  And I didn’t ever plan on letting him go.

  Levi

  “Where do you think you’re going?” I snagged Phoebe around the waist and dragged her down on top of me. Her soft laughter wrapped around me like a blanket. I wanted to bask in it. Drown in it. I wanted to bottle it and keep it with me always.

  It was official.

  Levi Hunter had lost his balls.

  No, I hadn’t lost them—I’d handed them willingly to a girl with ink on her skin and scars on her heart.

  Phoebe.

  My honeybee.

  My every-fucking-thing.

  It had been a week since the wrap party. One week since I’d gotten up on stage and sung a love song to the girl who owned me, heart, body, and black fucking soul.

  It had been the best damn week of my life. No fangirls, no paparazzi, no media. It was just me, my girl, and our closest friends and family. Letty had organized the entire thing.

  Two weeks at her family’s beach house on a secluded beach situated on Long Island.

  It was perfect.

  Well, it would have been if it wasn’t for Molly’s unexpected arrival.

  We were still in the dark about her sudden appearance that night. All Eva had told us was that something had happened back home, and Molly needed to lay low for a while. Of course, we weren’t going to send her away.

  Not that Hudson would ever have allowed it.

  He’d gone into full alpha protector mode since we found her that night, standing outside the club with tears rolling down her cheeks.

  It was their business though. I was just relieved to be spending two weeks with my girl. We had the best fucking bedroom, with a balcony overlooking the ocean. I’d fucked her on it more times than I could count. Sometimes hard, fast sex, reveling in the way her cries filled the salty air; other times it was slow and deep with her riding me back to front as we both stared out at the horizon.

  Sex was our language of love. We didn’t need words or lyrics to tell the other how we felt. It was all in the way she kissed me, or the way I touched her.

  I couldn’t get enough.

  “Yo, lovebirds, breakfast is here,” Hudson yelled.

  “No,” Phoebe murmured, tucking herself back into the crook of my arm. “I’m not ready to get up.”

  “So we stay in bed,” I said, dropping a kiss to her hair.

  “No, we should join them. I feel like I’ve been stealing all your time.”

  “Seriously?” I nudged her out of my side and stared down at her.

  “I don’t mean it like that. I just... they’re your bandmates, Levi. This is your vacation.”

  “And you’re my girl.”

  That made her smile. “I am, aren’t I?”

  “You so are.” I brushed my lips over hers. “And now the whole world knows it.”

  “Ugh. Don’t remind me.” Phoebe grumbled, and I chuckled.

  The story had run two days after the event, and it hadn’t taken long before a journo reached out to the label for comment on the rumors that Levi Hunter was officially off the market.

  I’d told Alistair to confirm it. Phoebe had refused to talk to me for an entire day. Until I’d pinned her to the bed and done wicked things to her body as way of an apology.

  She’d gotten me back the next day thou
gh, when she’d called her dad and made me clear the air with him.

  That had been a fun conversation.

  One I didn’t ever plan on reliving.

  But Mr. Halstead hadn’t hung up on me, which is more than I could have hoped for. He made me promise never to break his daughter’s heart, and I made him promise never to take her away from me again.

  We ended up agreeing to disagree.

  My therapist called it progress. I called it my girl owning me by the balls.

  Phoebe pressed a lingering kiss to my lips before climbing out of bed. My eyes feasted on her curves as she pulled on some bootie shorts and a band t-shirt.

  “Thank God for bootie shorts,” I mused, and she smirked over her shoulder. “Keep looking at me like that, Bee, and we’ll never make it to breakfast.

  Her eyes lit up with mischief as she darted for the door. “You’ll have to catch me first, rock star.”

  Phoebe

  By the time Levi arrived in the kitchen, I was already tucking into a stack of pancakes.

  “Morning,” he said to everyone.

  “Rough night?” Rafe asked, and my eyes immediately went to Levi’s very bare, very marred chest.

  Heat flooded me.

  “What can I say? My honeybee likes to bite.”

  “Too much information for breakfast,” Damon grumbled. “Go put a shirt on, Jesus.”

  “Relax, Donnelley. You just need to get laid, remove that stick from—”

  “Levi.” Rafe shook his head.

  I held out my hand, beckoning Levi to me. He came willingly, wearing a wolfish grin.

  “You ran, Bee.”

  “You should have chased me.”

  He laughed. A real honest-to-God laugh. It made everyone stop what they were doing, all eyes trained on Levi.

  “What?” He frowned, rubbing a hand down his face to hide the slight stain to his cheeks.

  “You are so freakin’ adorable,” I whispered.

  “It’s good to see you like this, bro,” Rafe said. “It’s been a long time coming.”

  Something passed between the two Hunter brothers. But then Molly stepped into the kitchen, taking all the air with her.

  “Uh, hey, sorry... I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Her arms were wrapped around her waist like armor.