by Drew Avera
“Thank you, Commander,” Captain Tyrone said. She noticed a reddening of his eyes, but his voice was still low and authoritative. He was hard to read. “Does anyone else have anything to say before I carry out my ruling?”
Calibri looked once more to the crowd. She saw varying expressions on many people’s faces, but no one spoke up. It was the same silence she experienced from the crew as she walked into the cargo bay and she couldn’t help but feel betrayed by it.
“Very well,” he said, clamping the lectern in a white-knuckled grip. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he scanned the crowd one last time. “With that, I will carry out my ruling. Commander Reese, for the charges filed against you, I have made my decision.”
Calibri’s heart pounded in her chest so hard it made her vision blur. She fought to keep focused on what the captain was saying, and with the last word she knew her life would be over.
Thirteen
“Guilty.”
The word hung in the air around her, lacing its way around her neck and choking the life out of her. She knew before taking her first step that morning that she would be found guilty, that she was guilty, but the sting of it almost brought her to tears. She fought them away, swallowing the knot in her throat, and stood as tall as her weak knees would allow her. Calibri felt a small amount of relief as the ship came out from under thrust and the gravitational forces on the ship were at a minimum. If not for the mag-boots, she thought she might float away.
“Do you understand the sentencing against you?” Captain Tyrone asked.
“Yes, sir,” she said through her teeth, barely capable of opening her mouth fully because fear made her keep her jaw clenched.
“Very well. Master at Arms, will you place the EVA helmet onto her head?”
“Yes, sir,” the man barked behind her. Calibri couldn’t help but feel there was a sense of satisfaction in the man’s voice as he slapped the helmet into the place, the loud popping sound hurting her ears as it locked into place. Her first response was to ask the man who he thought he was dealing with, but her sentencing effectively demoted her from having any authority in the Navy. She was no one at all anymore. “Done, sir.”
“Thank you,” the captain replied, a grim look etched on his face as Calibri looked at him. “Take her to the airlock.”
Calibri felt the man tug at her upper arm, dragging her backwards. She stumbled at first, before falling into step next to him. She could hear her mag-boots clacking against the deck with each step as the sound reverberated through her EVA suit, echoing in the small space between her ears and the liner of the helmet. The sound distracted her as she walked, giving her something to focus on other than the airlock looming ahead. When she finally looked up, she noticed the gaping opening was large enough for small vessels to be transferred from ship to ship. As she recalled, it wasn’t the same airlock used when she first boarded the Krylex. The captain could have put me in the maintenance airlock, she thought, but this is the only space large enough to have the crew watch. I’m assuming that was his plan.
The Master at Arms shoved her across the blue-painted line of the deck that correlated with where the airlock doors would cycle closed. The paint was fresh and easily identifiable. She wondered if it was a coincidence, or if it was freshly painted for her sentencing. She doubted any of the crew would want to clean up the remains of a human body crushed by two-tons of steel clamping shut. On her side of the line she watched the crew close in on her position. The captain stood in the center of the semicircle, his dour face showing nothing more than the sense that he wanted to get this over with and move on with life. Strangely, she felt the same way, though her life would slowly come to an end as the EVA suit ran out of air. That was perhaps more cruel than sending her out with nothing at all.
“Do you have any last words?” Captain Tyrone asked.
Surprised at being given a second opportunity to speak, she glared at him through the scratched up windscreen of her EVA suit. Of course they wouldn’t send me to my death with a serviceable helmet. “I’m not ashamed of what I did and I think anyone else in the same position as me would have followed their hearts and done the same.”
“Really? I happen to know many people in the same position as you who obeyed orders, obeyed policies, and obeyed the laws of our society. Your sentiment of following your heart is a poison to our people. Relationships were not issued to you by our military. We have regulations regarding that because it is what’s best for the people we serve. You may believe what you are saying, but what you believe is wrong, and that is why we are here today.”
Calibri heard the crew muttering amongst themselves as the captain spoke. She wondered how many of them felt the way she did, wishing for someone to love to counteract the loneliness of military life. In the end, it didn’t matter what the rest of them thought, her life was forfeit regardless. “One day, I hope that isn’t the case,” she replied.
Captain Tyrone nodded. “It’s a day none of us will ever see.” He cut his eyes to the Master at Arms and she immediately felt the whirring of a motor under the deck as the airlock doors cycled. The opening between her and the rest of the crew slowly closed as she stood there in the large void, the outer airlock, still latched behind her. The safety of being on the ship would soon be gone, and she would be thrust into the darkest beyond, outside of inhabited space. The only thing she could hope for now was a beautiful view as her life faded away, floating in vacuum for eternity. Calibri looked out at Captain Tyrone, noticing his eyes were closed for a moment before he opened them and stared at her. There was a small nod, she noticed, before the giant doors fully closed. She had no idea what the nod might have meant, but it was the least of her worries and the lighting inside the void changed from green to red. The pressure inside the airlock changed, lowering to the point she felt her ears pop. Calibri knew what was about to happen and unconsciously lifted her hand and pressed it against the inner airlock door, feeling the hum of the engines gyrate inside the hull, sending the vibrations through all of the surfaces of the ship. She took a deep breath, inhaling the artificial air pouring into her helmet. It was cold, and breathing so deeply gave her the beginnings of a headache. The red lights flashed—once, twice, three times—and then the difference in pressure tore Calibri away from the Krylex and out into the darkness.
She screamed, and her hands clamored for something to hold onto, a wiring harness, a lip in the bulkhead, a light fixture, anything, but it was all for naught. By time she could think to reach for anything, she was hurling away from the ship, spinning counterclockwise to the ship’s position and watching it grow smaller as it left her behind. Her voice echoed in her head, and she was thankful there was no radio in her headset, because her screams falling to an uncaring ear would make things worse. After several seconds, she stopped, her voice hoarse and her breathing ragged. The logical part of her mind thought that her unregulated breathing would make her run out of air faster, causing her to panic more; her broken heart urged it to happen because she knew she would die anyway and she might as well get it over with. As she spun slowly in the dark void, she looked at out the great expanse and saw the stars and celestial bodies for the first time when not confined to a gravity well or from a monitor. She knew the distant star still possessed enough power to kill her despite her being able to cover it up with her thumb when she placed her gloved hand in front of her face. This is why we are insignificant, she thought between heavy, self-damning breaths.
Calibri finally grew tired of intentionally draining her oxygen and quietly waited for the darkness to consume her. I’m ready—just take me now so I don’t have to wait. With that thought, she felt the tug of something pulling her backwards. It felt like falling, but there was nothing to make her move in the vast nothingness of her existence. She closed her eyes, reaching mentally for a prayer to say goodbye to her short life, but she came up empty. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe God could exist, but she felt so defeated she had no reason to justify why
he or she would care that Calibri’s life was over. Her thoughts moved away from what she did not know and to the one thing in her life she thought really mattered.
Luke.
Why did I let myself fall for him? Why did I do what I knew was wrong in order to be with him?
That’s easy. Because I love him and it’s genuine. I just wish I could have lived the rest of my life with him. The irony that she actually had done so, since she was about to die, was not lost on her, but it felt a cruel joke in a life where very little of what she had done was because she wanted to. How many of my life decisions were my own?
Calibri closed her eyes and waited for the stale air in her helmet to run out. She no longer felt the cold rush of generated oxygen moving past her face and tickling her nose. Now, the air was warmer and unsatisfying. That’s because I’m poisoning myself each time I exhale.
The harder she thought of Luke, the more she imagined his arms wrapping around her. She felt his arms close around her arms, his hands gripping her shoulders and the warmth of his body pressed against her back. She felt his chin rest on her shoulder as he squeezed her tightly in his grip, but it wasn’t passion she felt in those arms. It was desperation.
“Calibri?”
She heard his voice. It was distant sounding, but it sounded as real as it ever had.
“Calibri?”
She wanted to answer, but she didn’t want the disappointment of allowing herself to have hope that she would not die alone.
“Calibri?”
She turned, but not by her own power. Was it God?
Before her, she saw the harsh, bright light of an EVA suit’s flashlight burning into her visor. Her eyes teared up as the miniature sun scorched her retinas. The warmth of human contact flooded through her body, and it no longer felt like her imagination, though she knew it was impossible. Perhaps I’m already dead.
“Calibri?”
“Yes?”
“Are you all right?”
“I’m dead, so I don’t know.”
She heard the voice say something else, but she could not make it out. She realized it was because the other person’s helmet was no longer pressed against her own. Why would God require an EVA suit?
Calibri felt herself being pulled by the entity before her, but the farther they moved in the darkness, the more light she saw, despite heading away from the star behind her. Through the fluttering of her eyelids as she fought to go to the eternal sleep, she realized she was inside an airlock, but it was not the one on the Krylex, it was a different one, smaller, less intimidating. She sensed the chamber pressurize, her ears wanting to pop, but instead she felt as if she was holding her breath and was closed off from the world of the living. She gave into it, closing her eyes for the last time. “Calibri?”
She heard her name spoken in Luke’s voice. It sounded like an answered prayer.
“Calibri?”
She barely opened her eyes, canting her head towards the sound of the voice. Before she was aware of anything else, she noticed she was no longer in her EVA suit. That startled her more than anything. She startled up in the bed she was lying on and looked around desperately. “What? Where am I?”
“Calibri?”
She turned and saw him. “Luke? Oh my God. What are you doing here?” She realized at that moment she had no idea where “here” was.
“I’m saving you,” he said.
“What? How?” She looked around more and realized she was in a medical bay on a transport ship. She had no idea which one, but she was relieved to no longer be in the darkness.
“I gave up my commission and asked for transport off the Krylex. Captain Tyrone didn’t seem very happy about it, but he had to let me go. Civilians aren’t allowed on naval vessels. I was able to secure a transport and convince the crew to follow the Krylex until your sentencing was carried out.”
Calibri heard every word he said, but she had trouble making sense of it. She was supposed to be dead, and this felt like a miracle.
Luke took her hand in his and inched himself closer to her, his lips inches from hers. “I gave it up for you because I love you,” he said, his lips touching hers in a gentle kiss. She gave herself over to him, reaching her hand around his neck and pulling him closer. Luke collapsed his body onto her bed, wrapping his arms around her just as she had imagined while waiting for her oxygen to run out. But she no longer had to worry about dying. She was too busy thinking about the life she wanted to live and the man she wanted to share it with. For the first time in her life, she was going to choose for herself.
The End
Cassowary Raid
A Chancerian Short Story
Cassowary Raid
Bootheels clacked against the deck as swift feet careened towards the bridge of the Cassowary. Thirty-seven continuous days in utter darkness had taken its toll on the green crew, and here they were, thrust into another fucking battle simulation. Tom Krylex wiped a bead of sweat from his brow as he rounded the corner of the passageway and leaped over one of forty-two knee-knockers spread throughout the ship. It was a dated design used on fleet ships that once sailed the rough seas of Earth; that was a long time ago and in an almost-forgotten section of the Milky Way Galaxy. The fact they still designed ships with them said more about the flaws of humanity than it did the miraculous achievement of mankind’s finally making it off the rocky world they once called home. Humans were scattered now, delving deeper into darkness only to find the universe was filled with more mysteries at every turn. No mystery was harder to solve than the question of why we are here and what we are supposed to do next.
"It's about time," the Chief of the Boat snarled as Tom finally made it to the bridge. He looked around, panting for air. The captain sat, impatiently drumming his fingers on the armrest of his chair while other members of the crew seemingly refused to make eye contact with Tom. I deserve that, he thought as he moved to his battle station. He felt out of place and could hardly muster a response as to his tardiness. There was no real excuse. If this was a real-life event, Tom could be the reason the ship was destroyed. His job was, no shit, a matter of life and death.
"I'm sorry, Chief," he said meekly.
Chief Werner didn't cast another glance in his direction but instead turned to the captain. "All present and accounted for, sir."
"Very well, proceed with the drill," Captain Olafssen ordered.
Tom took his place at the console, sitting in his chair and pulling the shoulder straps over his body and clasping them into place. His screen was already illuminated for the drill and all he had to do with scroll his hands across the console and monitor the weapon stations. The monitor was designed to use imagery from the sensory array to show him what targets were within the kill zone. But during simulation, all the targets were computer-generated. That didn't mean, however, that he could sit back and not worry about the incoming threat they were simulating battle with. Tom had already fucked up the last drill, and if he wanted to have time off in the port coming up, he would have to impress the captain.
"Incoming at two o'clock," Tom said. The computerized target was closing in on them at a quick pace but was still not within the kill zone. "I can't get a lock on the target, Sir. It's out of range."
"Keep tracking it," the captain said.
Tom kept trying to get a lock on the target, every few seconds clicking over the target with the cursor, but each time he was given an advisory that the target was out of range. "Dammit," Tom whispered under his breath. This is not how I was hoping things would go today. On the screen the computerized target launched a sequence of three torpedoes towards the ship one second apart, which would give their PDCs a harder time at knocking them out. That's the point, though. Don't make things easy on us.
"Torpedoes fired," Lieutenant Junior Grade Benson said from across the bridge. Her announcement reminded Tom that he was supposed to be the one tracking the incoming bombardment. Damn.
"Are our PDCs online?" The Chief asked as he stalked behin
d Tom with his arms behind his back and a scowl on his face. Most people would think he was pissed, but Tom just expected the look ninety percent of the time.
Tom turned around and nodded, "yes, chief," he replied. "I turned them on as soon as I saw the target," he finished.
The chief leaned down, his nose inches away from Tom's. "Then why aren't they firing?"
Tom turned his head to the monitor and his heart sank as he realized the Point Defense Countermeasures were not online. "I—"
"I, nothing," the chief said. "Fucking fix it."
Tom scrambled to figure out what was wrong. The screen showed the PDCs as options, but they were all blacked out. "It's like they're not getting power, but that's impossible," he said, the statement bringing a thought to mind. "Wait." He looked down at the kick panel under his monitor and cycled the circuit breakers for his station. One by one the PDCs illuminated, showing that they were now online. "Got it, Chief."
Chief Werner crossed his arms and grunted. Tom figured that was the best he was going to get in terms of an Atta Boy, but it was better than nothing. What can I expect? These guys have high expectations and low tolerances for bullshit.
As the ship veered to port, her weapons stations pointed towards the holographic display of an incoming vessel, the Cassowary lurched. "What the hell was that?" Captain Olafssen barked. In every corner of the bridge, fingers danced along the consoles, bringing up display screens to show what was outside of the ship that could have struck it. Every screen showed empty space except one, which displayed the grim profile of the holographic ship used for their drill.