by Drew Avera
He nodded, a slight frown on his lips as he did so. “It is. Of course it was a narrow escape without the watch on the bridge to reengage the drive. I had to do it manually. I’m just glad things weren’t more catastrophic for the crew.”
Speak for yourself, she thought, immediately regretting the thought because the crew did not deserve to die just because she was caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. “Yes, sir.”
He stepped closer and she noticed a pained expression on his face. “All of that aside, I think you know why I’m here.”
“I do,” she replied.
“Do you have anything to say for yourself?”
She stood straighter, squaring her shoulders at him. “Nothing that would make any difference, sir.”
Captain Tyrone exhaled heavily. “You know I’ve never lost a member of my crew? Even during the pirating runs a decade or so ago, not a single member of my crew was lost to me. I even had a boarding party come under fire as we orbited Kero before we secured its part of the sector. They had us outgunned two-to-one, and not a single casualty. Do you know why?”
“No, sir.”
“Discipline and integrity. Those are the ingredients to leading a crew successfully. It took me a long time to break it down to those two elements, but once I did it was like a light went off in my head. It was an awakening for me.”
“Impressive,” Calibri said. It wasn’t untrue, but she didn’t know what else to say. How do you respond to something like that?
“Maybe, but I don’t look at it as that. I look at the situation as a fortunate accident. All of the puzzle pieces fell into my lap, and they did so in a way that eventually led to the picture being revealed. I’ve had a lucky career.”
“Until now,” Calibri said, partially under her breath, but she could tell he heard her by the way his eyes narrowed.
“Perhaps.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, which caught Calibri off guard. Hands in pockets went against military uniform regulations and Captain Tyrone was the most rule-abiding man she ever met. Even the young sailors on the way to the Krylex had heard of his reputation. “I take no pleasure in doing what has to be done. I hope you know that.”
Calibri’s throat tightened. “I imagine not.”
“I have to file a report about what happened, and the proximity alarm was recorded and will be screened by Headquarters. I just wish there was some way I could make this go away.”
“You’re the captain. You hold all the cards here,” Calibri said, hoping she could urge him to make the decision not to pursue the charges. But a part of her knew she was grasping at straws.
“The cards are an illusion, just as being in charge is an illusion. I may be the captain of the Krylex, but every decision I make is scrutinized and dissected by those above me. When they screen the situation, which they will, I will have to answer for what I did in response to it. Negligence carries a harsh punishment in and of itself, but what you and Commander Lorenzo did is something else entirely.”
“It was being human, sir.”
He looked up at her, the veins in his neck throbbing as she watched him. “Your humanity was aborted the moment you raised your hand to serve.”
It wasn’t my choice, Calibri thought, but she didn’t respond.
“Either way, what was done is done, and I have no control in regards to how far this will go. I just thought I owed you the respect of letting you know.”
“What now?” Calibri asked, not meaning to, but now wanting to know the answer nonetheless.
He shrugged. “Now, I go and get a statement from Commander Lorenzo. He is the junior officer in this situation and has certain rights I must abide by. If you ask me, it’s a damn shitty situation you two have me tangled in.” He looked down at his hands as he pulled them from his pockets, the look on his face making Calibri think he might not have realized they had been there in the first place.
“For what it’s worth, sir, I’m sorry.”
He looked back at her. “For what you did or for getting caught?”
She looked back at him coldly, knowing the answer but not wanting to say it out loud.
“I figured as much,” he said as he turned and placed his hand on the doorknob. Before turning in, he said, “I had a dream of having my own family once.”
She watched as his grip tightened on the doorknob. “It died when I joined the Navy.” He turned the doorknob and pulled the door open, letting the bright light from the passageway cascade into her quarters.
She saw the guard posted outside. It was one of the men she arrived on the Krylex with months before. Brazie, she thought, one of the men fresh out of training. The younger man stared at her, giving her a slight nod of his head, but not wanting to say anything as the captain closed the door behind him, leaving her alone with her thoughts.
Calibri moved over to her bed and fell back onto the firm mattress. She still wore her uniform, but the collar was no longer buttoned and she could not recall when she unfastened it. She let her arms sprawl out, her hands dangling over the sides of the narrow bed as she looked up at the ceiling. She didn’t want to think any more about what was going to happen, but all she could think about was the fact Captain Tyrone was going to get a statement from Luke and whatever was said in that meeting could have an impact on what would soon happen to her. She loved Luke, and she was certain he felt the same way, but she was afraid he would say things to save himself. She hated herself for thinking so, but she couldn’t get the thoughts out of her head.
Wouldn’t I do the same thing if it was me? I don’t want to die, so why should I expect anything different from Luke?
She lifted her hand to her face and wiped away a stray tear welling in her right eye. Calibri hated crying and often looked at is as weakness, but that was exactly how she felt as she lay alone in her dark room, thinking about her bleak future. Maybe I am weak, she thought. But, if I die, I want to know I’m dying without any regrets.
She sat up in her bed and grabbed a pen from the nearby table. Most times she would write on an electronic tablet and send her message electronically, but she wanted to do something more personal. She pulled out a blank piece of paper, a rarity on a ship floating in the darkness, and penned a note for Luke.
“Dear Luke,
“I want you to know that despite how things have turned out, I have no regrets for what I found in you. I never thought I could love someone the way I love you. You made the last few months of my life on this ship worthwhile, and for that I thank you. I know there is so much going through your mind right now, but know that I am at peace with my decision and I accept what is coming to me. I hope you do not meet the same fate as I am and that you find happiness again. I love you. -CR”
She folded the piece of paper into a small square and placed her pen back onto the table. She moved over to the door and knocked on the metal surface, her knuckles feeling the cold of it. Brazie opened the door slightly, peering in as his body blocked her from being able to move past him, but she had no desire to run. Besides, there was nowhere to go.
“Yes, sir?” He asked. She imagined he was unsure of whether he should have opened the door to begin with.
Calibri smiled, hoping to disarm his concern. “I have a small request,” she replied.
“What’s that?”
She held the tiny, folded piece of paper up and said, “I need you to deliver this to Commander Lorenzo.”
Brazie’s eyes widened, and he bit his bottom lip. “I don’t know if I can do that,” he said.
She nodded. “I understand, but the captain will sentence me tomorrow and I really want my last words to Commander Lorenzo to be read while I’m still breathing.”
Brazie looked at her for a moment and nodded, lifting his hand to her and taking the note. “I’ll see that he gets this,” he said.
“Thank you,” Calibri said, feeling as if a weight had been lifted from her chest.
“I turn over the watch in about an hour. I’ll take it straight to him t
hen. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry about what’s going on.”
Brazie’s words caught Calibri off guard. She hadn’t considered that most, if not all, of the crew would know what was going on now. She wondered if that knowledge would paint her in a negative light to the crew she felt so fond of. Not that it matters after tomorrow, she thought. “Thank you. I really appreciate that.”
Calibri stepped away from the door and watched as Brazie slowly closed it, casting her once more in the dimly lit quarters she was confined to. But now she felt different, at peace with what was coming. She only hoped she could continue to feel that was when she woke up the next day. A part of her doubted it, but she held onto hope, because that was all she had left.
Twelve
A knock at the door startled her, but not from sleep. The night before, Calibri was told her tribunal would take place first thing in the morning. It was only zero-six-hundred, and she sat, waiting in the EVA suit provided to her by the security guard. She flexed her arms as she stood and tried to shake the cold from her body that even the suit made to withstand the cold vacuum of space could not seem to dispel. As she stood, the door opened and revealed two security personnel waiting with their weapons drawn. “That won’t be necessary, guys. I have nowhere to run and no reason to forestall what’s about to happen,” she said. She intended for her words to make it seem she was not afraid, but she was not fooling herself and she doubted she was fooling anyone else.
“Yes, sir, but we’re under orders by the captain to follow all protocol in regards to prisoner transport. I’m sorry,” Brazie said. She had not recognized him at first because of the riot gear he was wearing, but she recognized his accent.
“Weren’t you on duty last night?”
“I was, but I volunteered to take this duty. I wanted to be there for you as a way to show my appreciation for you being nice to me and my friends on the flight here.” She remembered the flight well and how excited Brazie and his two friends were to finally be leaving their training behind and going to the fleet. She was excited too, though she was also nervous. If I only knew then what I know now.
His words meant more to her than she thought he could imagine. “Thank you for saying that. I mean it.”
He nodded and smiled sheepishly. “Are you ready, Commander?”
She hesitated a moment before stepping forward. “I am.”
”All right, we will be following you to the port airlock on the hangar deck,” Brazie said. “I won’t cuff you unless you want me to.” Having the option was a relief; she could only imagine how difficult it would be to traverse the ladder wells with her hands bound behind her.
Calibri shook her head. “I would rather not,” she said.
Brazie smiled again and Calibri wondered how much of this part of his job he hated. His eyes had a sadness to them when she looked at him. “Lead the way,” he said, without it sounding like an order.
Calibri stepped out into the brightly lit passageway and started walking slowly towards the hangar deck. She had only been down there when she arrived—and for a few occasions with Luke—since she came aboard. Knowing that it would be her last place to stand on the ship caused a lump in her throat to form as she marched towards certain death. I really don’t want to take another step, she thought, but this will be so much worse if they have to carry me to my trial.
She saw the rest of the crew formed up on both sides of the aisle leading to the airlock on the hangar deck as she came down from the ladder well. She paused for a moment, waiting for Brazie and the other young man to descend and stand behind her.
“Attention on deck,” someone shouted in the hangar deck, and for a moment Calibri thought the order was for her. That was, until she saw the captain stepping up to the podium waiting for her.
As she stood there, the captain began speaking into the microphone. “Good morning men and women of the Krylex. It is difficult for me to be standing here before you now, but it is an important and necessary part of my job to uphold the law of our government and maintain the integrity of our mighty warship. It is with a heavy heart I carry out my duty, but that does not mean I do not defend and honor my superiors and the rules and regulations we are bound to follow by wearing the uniform of our Navy.” He stopped talking and took a sip of water from a cup before continuing.
“Guards, please present the accused.”
“Forward, march,” Brazie said from behind Calibri. She stepped out with her left foot first, mimicking the march she learned during her time in the Academy. With each step, she felt the eyes of the crew bore into her. She wondered what kinds of judgments they were mentally tossing in her direction. She wondered how many of them knew what her charges were. She wondered how many of them longed for the same things that brought her to this moment in time. Humanity is nothing more than animals with enough brain power to condemn themselves to a life in hell.
She stopped in front of Captain Tyrone, feeling the shake of fear in her legs despite the low gravity of not being under a significant amount of thrust. It was something her time on the ship taught her by feel since there was no way to see how the ship moved through space. “Commander Calibri Reese reporting for tribunal as directed,” she said, giving a shaky salute. She was taken aback when the captain returned the salute.
“Commander Reese, you are charged with conduct unbecoming an officer in the Chancerian Navy, for violating statutes in regards to personal relationships with other members of the Chancerian Navy, and for putting the wellbeing of the ship at risk. How do you plead?”
There was only one way she felt she could answer the question, despite knowing exactly what was ahead of her. She inhaled deeply, fighting back the urge to cry, and said, “I plead guilty, sir.”
She anticipated the murmuring of the crowd, but instead, she was met with miserable, lonely silence. She fought the urge to fidget, to flex her legs and relieve the tension building up in her back. She wanted to move, to stretch, to not feel confined in the center of the crowd as they waited for what was about to happen. She knew what was coming, as did the rest of the crew. It was just a matter of time before the present caught up to the horrific future that lay ahead.
She watched as Captain Tyrone craned his neck, his vertebrae popping like quick weapon fire. From where she stood, it looked as if the captain hadn’t slept at all since saw him the night before. At least we have that in common. “I have a written statement from Commander Lorenzo stating that your relationship has been going on for at least a few months. Is this statement true?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Commander Lorenzo’s statement says the interactions between the two of you escalated in frequency over time and that those interactions would sometimes affect your duties. Is that true?”
“On one occasion, I believe that is a fair assessment, sir,” Calibri replied, feeling as if she let the world down by her actions.
“The statement also says that Commander Lorenzo instigated the first move towards forming a relationship with you. Is that true?”
Calibri swallowed the lump in her throat and did not want to answer. It was easier to take the fall than to potentially have his life taken as well for the part he played in their relationship. At the same time, she thought, it is true, I tried to fight the feelings I had for him, but in the end I could not. She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped and took another breath. “I do not recall who made the first move, sir.” It was a bald-face lie and she could tell by his eyes that he did not believe her, not that it mattered. Calibri refused to go back on her word, regardless of how false it was, and she didn’t give two shits what anyone thought about her for doing so. This is for love; not pride or glory. I owe it to myself if for no one else.
“Are you certain?” he asked with skepticism oozing from his voice.
“Yes, sir. I do not recall.”
He lifted his head and faced her, staring into her eyes with his nostrils flared. “So, you do not wish to speculate on which of you made the first move
, Commander?”
Calibri shook her head, unable to form words to answer the captain’s question. Part of her knew Luke’s statement told the truth about their relationship and that Captain Tyrone believed it was true as well, but admitting it would put more of the blame on Luke, and that was something she could not bear to do. The truth does not always set you free, she thought as she stood before Captain Tyrone, hearing his heavy, rapid breathing as he seemed to seethe in anger.
“I think I’ve heard enough. I have enough information to commence with the ruling.”
Calibri heard a collective breath being taken and it felt as if all of the air in the room had left as she suffocated from the fear coursing in her body. She looked for a sign in the captain’s eyes, but saw none. What do I expect? I pled guilty. It only makes sense that he will rule based on my plea.
“Do you have anything to say before I make my decision?”
Calibri had thought about this moment for most of the night. Part of her wanted to give a stirring speech about the injustice of the law and how it treated humanity unfairly, but she knew it would fall on deaf ears. The other part of her wanted to stand in silent protest, hoping that not saying anything would cause enough of a stir to keep the captain from condemning her to death. She knew neither outcome would pan out in her favor, but that didn’t mean she had nothing to say.
“Captain Tyrone, I have served as the Executive Officer of the Krylex for more than six months. In that time, I have learned a great deal from you about leadership and taking care of the people we are charged with leading. Without those lessons I know I would have failed this crew time and time again. I know these charges do not reflect well for my personal behavior, but I hope that my actions as your XO have left a positive, lasting impact on the crew of this mighty warship.” She canted her head and looked out at the gathered crew bearing witness to her tribunal. “This crew is the lasting legacy of our partnered leadership, sir. I thank you for the lessons you taught me and I know you care about each of the men and women of this crew.” Calibri stopped talking, suddenly out of words without a clear climax in what she wanted to say. To her, it felt as if she merely stroked his ego but provided no substance. That wasn’t her intention, but damned if she had anywhere else to go with what she had to say. She knew if forced she would only ramble on and on before leaning towards the injustice she felt she was facing. It’s better to shut up and get this over with.