Breathe

by Tania Trozzo

  “No need to be mean about it either. So defensive. Is Gabe hiding something?” Sarah chided.

  “Drop it,” Gabe said sternly looking straight at Kristin.

  At that moment Mr. Brooks walked in. “Hello, everyone. Give me a minute to get everything together and do a roll call.”

  Gabe, Connor and everyone else looked straight ahead. Sarah was shooting daggers at the boys, while Kristin couldn’t decide between glaring and looking hopeful. Whatever, get over it. Gabe opened his notebook and glanced at Connor who was facing the door. He raised his chin at Gabe telling him to take a look. Gabe turned his head and looked towards the door. This must be the new girl Alex and Bobby were talking about. Tall and thin yet with a hint of curves in the right places, and killer legs coming out of a short jean skirt. She had long straight brown hair and smooth skin. She spoke when she approached Mr. Brooks’ desk but he wasn’t really paying attention to what she was saying. As he tuned in to the conversation, Mr. Brooks was telling her to stop by at the end of the class to discuss the newspaper. She finally turned towards him and her gorgeous green eyes looked straight through him.

  “Clara, I’m Connor and you can come sit right in front of me. I promise I won’t bite,” Connor teased. Gabe tensed instantly, glancing at Connor and clenched his fists. Calm down. Wtf was wrong with him?

  Mr. Brooks sighed, “Clara, don’t pay any attention to Connor. Go sit right next to Gabe over there, he’s not as disruptive.” Mr. Brooks looked at Gabe intently.

  “What? Mr. Brooks, I was just trying to be a gentleman and welcome a new student to class,” Connor remarked.

  Mr. Brooks smiled and shook his head. “Connor, I am sure you welcome every girl whether they are new or not. But, if you really want to be a gentleman then you can welcome her after class.” He continued, “Now, let’s get started. Welcome to creative writing. I am going to cut to the chase right now and let you all know that if you think this is going to be an easy class, you can leave now.”

  Mr. Brooks went over his expectations for the year regarding his class. He began speaking of the first paper that he assigned to his students. It was probably the most difficult one, where everyone had to write about something that happened to them that changed them or their view of the world. As soon as he mentioned it, Gabe noticed out of the corner of his eye that Clara’s face paled for a second.

  Curious, Gabe looked over at Clara to his left. She was paying attention to what Mr. Brooks was saying and had briefly closed her eyes as if she was taking a deep breath. Then she must have felt Gabe staring at her, so she turned her head, and locked eyes with him. Those eyes seemed so guarded, perhaps a bit hesitant and there was something sad there too, but he also saw a fire in them, he saw strength. She looked straight through his walls. She didn’t just look at him, she looked in him and to be honest, he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. She looked back towards Mr. Brooks and so he decided to do the same.

  Although the day had been dragging by slowly, this class, of course, passed by quickly. Before he knew it, the bell rang. As he was getting up, his body automatically turned toward Clara to introduce himself. He opened his mouth to say hello, when all of a sudden, he felt a hand smooth down his back, he whipped his head to the right and there stood Kristin trying to act all seductive. “Gabe, babe, what’s your next class? I thought we could walk together. I missed you this past weekend.”

  Gabe hesitated for a fraction of a second. He didn’t want to be rude and have Clara think he was an asshole but also didn’t want Kristin to get her hopes up. She was not taking the hint.

  Right at that moment, Mr. Brooks called for the green-eyed beauty to his left. “Clara, before your next class let’s discuss the newspaper, shall we?”

  “Of course,” Clara replied.

  Connor quickly glanced at Gabe and smirked. “Mr. Brooks, I thought I was supposed to be a gentleman after class, remember?”

  Mr. Brooks shook his head “Connor, go to your next class “.

  Gabe intentionally stepped away from Kristin, ignoring her and shook his head. He turned to look at Connor and made a motion with his head, “Come on Connor, let’s go,” and they both exited the classroom. Right before he exited he took one last look back at Clara who was now by Mr. Brooks desk. Mr. Brooks looked up and noticed him looking a Clara, he gave him a questionable look but quickly turned his full attention back to Clara.

  Gabe headed out of class to his next one. He would look for her later, maybe at lunch. She was new, so he was curious, like half of the student body probably is. He didn’t like the way she managed to look right into him. Just like he didn’t like those legs of hers, or that long hair. Or her smooth skin. He had yet to see her smile but he was sure he wouldn’t like that either. Nope. Not at all. In fact, during his next class he couldn’t seem to get the image of those green eyes out of his head. He understood the hesitancy there. She was probably nervous, but something else was there behind her shield.

  He looked for her as he walked the halls throughout the day but they didn’t cross paths until lunch where he saw her briefly from afar. She was sitting with Rosie. He noticed how all the guys were checking her out, some even had the guts to stop at her table and so tactfully ask Rosie to introduce them to her. She however, seemed oblivious to all of it. Rosie’s table wasn’t far so he was able to pick up a few words here or there. He didn’t want to be like the other guys and go over so he just observed. But halfway through lunch she got up and left. He thought he was really good at hiding the fact he was watching her until then, when he basically with his gaze, he followed her on her way out. Alex, who was sitting in front of him, tilted his head and followed his gaze and then looked at Gabe with a question mark. He didn’t say anything, but he knew something was up.

  5

  Clara

  Her first day went by rather quickly. Before she knew it, she was home and had already gone to her karate class for the day. She was in her bedroom when a knock sounded on the door. Figuring it was one of her cousins, she yelled, “come in!” She turned, surprised to find 4 curious sets of eyes.

  Looking at them quizzically she asked, “Why are you guys hovering in the doorway? And why do you guys seem nervous?” she looked straight at Julia with a quizzical look. They all walked in.

  Vincent sat on her bed and kicked his feet up, Sal turned her desk chair around and sat down, Laura sat down next to Vincent and Julia just leaned against the wall. “We wanted to hear all about today, we’ve been waiting, but you went straight to karate instead. Was that to escape or just a normal class?” Vincent asked. Sal tilted his head and observed, probably trying to gauge her reaction and if she was hiding anything.

  Laura on the other hand stated, “I have a feeling it went ok, am I right?”

  Clara smiled slightly. Laura could read her moods easily enough and if not, she bulldozed through with her questions wanting to know the answer because although Laura often believed in openly sharing, Clara didn’t always confide in her. Julia, on the other hand, was the youngest out of all of them, quiet but extremely wise for her age. She always seemed to know when Clara needed someone to just be there. Vincent, on the other hand, was sometimes nervous around her. He had once told her that the reason he acted like that was because he just always wanted to make sure she was ok and didn’t know how to do that. The three of them, Vincent, Laura and Julia became her siblings the moment she returned home. She knew she could count on them, and they treated her like she was the 4th child in the family. Even though technically they were cousins, for all intents and purposes they were more like brothers and sisters.

  Sal, on the other hand, was a cousin to all 4 of them. Clara couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment, but somewhere along the way he became super supportive of her karate lessons, helping her practice, and wanting her to be confident so that she could protect herself. He observed her more, usually quietly, and didn’t question her like Laura
. In recent years, he and Clara became close, almost like another brother. He was also the one that introduced her to soccer and practically trained her.

  “Yes, it went well. Actually, I also kind of made a friend. She seems …nice.”

  “Give people a chance, Clara,” Sal said. “I’m not saying not to be careful. But don’t be so closed off.”

  “No lectures, guys, we wanted to make sure she was ok. I’m getting good vibes here. I am going to refrain from asking you a bunch of questions, even though it is practically killing me to do so, but 2 things are of mighty importance,” Laura claimed.

  “What would those things be?” Clara asked. “Wait let me guess, Aunt Nina is dying to know?”

  Vincent responded, “Yes, that is one of them, the second is that we are starving and want to eat but we were waiting for you. Mom wanted us to wait since it was your first day and all, so before I faint from malnutrition, can we please go downstairs?”

  Julia laughed, so did Sal.

  “Of course, you didn’t have to wait for me. But I am kind of surprised that you are not assaulting me with questions, Laura.” Clara said putting emphasis on Laura’s name.

  “I thought I would be nice and wait a week. That, and I thought we’d wait where we didn’t have an audience so I could ask you about the guys,” Laura laughed.

  “That, and Dad told her not to.” Julia laughed.

  Clara smiled but gave nothing away. Don’t think about those blue eyes she told herself. “Ok, well give me two minutes to get changed and I will be right down.”

  “2 minutes, Clara. Or I am coming up to get you,” Vincent told her.

  They filed out of her room, but Sal waited behind. “You’re sure that everything went ok? You can tell me the truth you know, I’ll always have your back. We will always figure something out.”

  Tears welled in her eyes. Damn emotions. She looked at him, “I know you do. But it went ok today. I was super nervous and yes, maybe a bit closed off but not like I usually am. In the end I still spoke to someone, right? I also got a spot on the school paper, which is great. I need some time to settle in, but I think I will be ok.”

  “Ok, and try out for soccer. I can still try to put in a good word for you. I don’t understand why you won’t let me,” Sal said.

  “Because, I have to do it on my own, Sal. I know all of you mean well. But if it’s meant to be that I will be on the team then I will. I’ll figure it out and see if I can do it on my own. If they won’t even give me a chance, then I promise I will come to you JUST to see if you can get me a tryout. Nothing more. But only then. Promise me you won’t interfere. Please. I just need to do this.” Clara said quietly, looking down at her hands.

  Sal blew out a breath and tilted her chin up, “Ok. And I do think you’ll be fine, I just wanted to make sure. I get it. We are all protective of you. But can you blame us?

  “No, I can’t.” Clara responded.

  “We are all proud of you, but it took you a long time to come out of your shell and you still aren’t fully out of it. Sometimes like when you are doing karate, I see that confident girl that can light the world on fire, or there are moments when you play soccer that your face lights up like you feel free. But even with us, you still have your guard up, like you’re afraid it’s going to all be taken away. You’re stronger than that Clara, stop doubting yourself. There are bad people out there, but there are some good ones too. I have a really strong feeling, that people at East Cynwood are going to be awed by you,” Sal sighed. “I realize that a part of what I just said is really contradictory. One minute I’m worried, the next I’m trying to motivate you. We are all protective of you but that is because we see you hesitate, we see your doubt. But we also know what you are capable of. We want nothing more than to see you shine, ok?”

  “Guys, gets your asses down here, I’m hungry!!!” Vincent yelled.

  Sal rolled his eyes, “He acts like he hasn’t eaten in 3 days. Get changed, and hurry, I’ll meet you downstairs”.

  As he walked out and closed the door, Clara sat on her bed. Deep breath. New School. New Year. New Life. And as she said that an image of those blue gray eyes appeared in her mind.

  6

  Clara

  It had been a busy week, and it was already Friday. Clara was able to spend a lot of time with the team at the newspaper getting to know them. Mr. Brooks was a force of nature and helped Clara get settled in. He was extremely supportive, offering guidance when needed but allowing the team to be independent as well. Clara had a feeling that he knew more about her situation then he let on, but, what she liked about him was that if he did know about it, he didn’t show it. The last thing Clara wanted was pity.

  Clara had tried the entire week to speak to the soccer coach but it seemed impossible due to some changes. For years the girl’s coach was Mr. Donovan but he was promoted recently to the boy’s team and looking to replace his position. Every time she went to speak to him, he was busy or on the phone. Rosie’s friends recommended speaking to the girl’s assistant gym teacher Ms. Lawson. She was extremely nice and they were sure she would put in a good word. When she got to gym class on Friday she went in a few minutes early to speak to Ms. Lawson. She explained her situation, and why she wasn’t present at tryouts. Just as Rosie and her friends predicted, Ms. Lawson was very compassionate and she quickly thought of a way to make it happen.

  “Ok, then Clara, let’s do this. Let’s give them something to talk about, you ready?” Ms. Lawson said. “We’ll play soccer today during class. Show me what you got. But, take note that there are a few girls in this class that are on the team. They may like the competition, and they may not. So, if you want to get noticed, give me all you’ve got. We’re clear, yes?”

  Clara nodded. “Yep, got it. I’ll go get changed quickly. Thank you, Ms. Lawson.”

  “Don’t thank me just yet,” she responded and winked.

  Clara quickly got changed. She hated locker rooms. She always felt out of place. It was also the perfect place to be taunted. She went out to the gym to wait for everyone else. Ms. Lawson arrived as almost everyone was there and she was discussing something quietly with Mrs. Chiaro, the gym teacher. Mrs. Chiaro raised her eyes and looked at Clara. She nodded briefly and Clara heard her say to make it happen.

  “Ok, class, today I’m running the show. If everyone is changed and ready, we are going outside to play soccer. Let’s get organized quickly as we all know how time flies. Hustle outside in line as usual and I will separate you in two teams,” Ms. Lawson ordered.

  The girls quickly went outside and lined up. Ms. Lawson quickly put everyone in two teams and after a very short lesson in which she explained the major rules of the game, they began to play. As they played she would guide them or stop the game briefly to explain why or why not they should do a certain play. As Clara played she quickly realized how unfair the teams were split. The other team had the captain of the girls’ soccer team as well as 2 strong players. Clara quickly whipped her head to Ms. Lawson and narrowed her eyes. Right at that moment the other team scored. Clara felt as though she had been set up. Ms. Lawson was supposed to be nice and helpful. Clara asked for a time out and Ms. Lawson tilted her head and smiled, “of course, team, 2 minutes.” Clara quickly took charge and called her team over.

  “Ok, I know this is gym class and so most of you probably don’t care about winning or making a goal but I do. You aren’t even trying,” Clara told them.

  One of the girls responded, “I’m on the soccer team, we are up against 3 of the strongest girls from the soccer team. We don’t stand a chance. I don’t even know why they split us up this way. It’s totally unfair.”

  “Agreed,” Clara answered. “What position do you play?”

  “I play defense, and I’m Moira, by the way,” the girl replied.

  “Perfect, Moira! I’m Clara. I usually play forward or striker. You’re
right, they are probably showing off and underestimating us. They know all of you, but they don’t know you may have a secret weapon.”

  “Secret weapon? What would that be?” answered another girl.

  “Me. They don’t know me but I assure you I can play. I know it is unfair as to how we were split in teams. We are the underdog but we don’t have to stay the underdog. Let’s work together and try to get that ball to me if you can. The worst that can happen is that we lose which we already are. But I think we can do more than that,” Clara looked at each girl in their eyes.

  Suddenly one of the girls smiled. “Ok. I would love to wipe that smug look off Jamie’s face. She thinks she is all that. You’ve got spunk. I’m in. Come on Gracie and Emma, let’s do this.” Gracie, Emma and the other girls murmured their agreement.

  Clara smiled and nodded. She grouped them explaining who to mark on the field. “Gracie, you have the girl in the plain white t-shirt. You don’t let her out of your sight. Moira, you have the girl with the red t-shirt. You are out for blood. Try your best to NOT allow her to pass you and if she does, just make it as difficult as possible without fouling. Block her. Whatever you must do. I have Jamie. Agreed? I will tell the rest of you who you have to shadow, got it? You don’t lose them. You do everything you have to do without fouling to get the ball, to make it harder for them to keep the ball. You girls that are midfield, just get that ball to me and I’ll prove to you what I’m capable of. And of course, if you think you can make the shot, take it.” After Clara relayed everyone’s task as quickly as she could all the girls separated. As she looked at her makeshift team, they look determined. Gracie looked at her and nodded. Clara knew she needed only one goal to have the team fully buy in and she was going to show Ms. Lawson not only what she was capable of but that she had truly underestimated her. They began to play and during the time, Clara made sure to encourage them and to yell out instructions. She noticed a few of the girls from the opposing team had quizzical looks on their faces as though they were curious if she really knew how to play, or she was just trying her best. But Jamie, totally just smirked at her, and Clara was not one to let her get away with that. She had been the underdog for far too long and she was done.