Breathe

by Tania Trozzo

“Outside, just need some air. I’ll catch up with you later ok?”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  She rushed down the hallway and straight outside to the parking lot. She needed a few minutes to herself. First the whole baggie incident which was totally all on her. Then Mr. Brooks’ assignment, something that she was going to have to think long and hard about. Gabe writing her notes during class – that just surprised her. Then Jamie’s confrontation in the bathroom. She was warned that not everyone would be accepting of her joining the soccer team, she knew that she had to prove herself. She just hoped Jamie wouldn’t be a problem. All this and it wasn’t even lunchtime yet. She knew this year wasn’t going to be easy, but now she knew it definitely would be interesting.

  13

  Clara

  A few days passed. It was Friday morning and she was almost finished her morning soccer drills with Ms. Lawson. She felt much better after she had just finished an hour with her. She lacked a little bit of focus in the beginning but after about 10 minutes she was able to re-center herself.

  “Ok, that’s enough for today. You seemed tired in the beginning, but you seemed pretty strong by the end. Go get a shower, I’ll see you at practice this afternoon,” Ms. Lawson told her. Clara nodded and walked back to the gym remembering her conversation with Vincent from the night before.

  “Vince, can I ask you something? I don’t want to make a big deal out of it and communicate it to everyone but I know you’ll be honest with me. Well, all of you would be but you just take a different approach sometimes. I mean..”

  “Clara, just tell me.” Vincent looked at her and she calmed down. He was open as a book. Sincere. Calm. “Wait, this isn’t about sex, is it? I’m not ready to have this conversation with you if it is. Actually, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready. You’re my sister.”

  Clara smiled. “No, it isn’t about sex.”

  Vincent relaxed again. “Ok, what is it about then?”

  Clara told him about Mr. Brook’s assignment. She explained how she had written two different outlines but she wasn’t sure which one she would hand in.

  Vincent looked at her, smiled and said, “Clara, look at me please.” Clara looked up at him. “What are you really afraid of? And I mean really, no bs with me.”

  She swallowed a lump in her throat and quickly said, “I’m afraid that Mr. Brooks and whoever reads it would think I’m weak. I don’t want him to look at me with pity or treat me differently.”

  Vincent chuckled. “You really have no clue, do you? Even if he did treat you differently I don’t think he, or anyone for that matter, would treat you in the way that you think. Clara, do you realize how brave you are? The fact that you are even contemplating writing about what happened to you is a testament of your courage. You were kidnapped. You survived. AND you are here to tell about it. You’re strong. And you are damn incredible. He isn’t going to walk around on egg shells with you. He is going to be amazed by you. As he should be. Hell, we all are. Stop it with the BS. You want to write about what happened to you, do it. Just write. You love writing, I see it. It helped you. So keep doing it. Maybe writing about it, will be liberating and..I think that is exactly what you need.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. You know why? Because I think deep down you want to.”

  Clara looked down at her hands for a second and whispered, “Yeah, I think I do.”

  After that she had felt much more confident to turn in the version that deep down she had wanted to turn in. They had chatted a few more minutes before heading inside to have dinner with everyone else. They had asked her various questions about school as they did with the others and Laura of course tried to find out about the guys. It was nice. She felt warm and safe during dinner. More importantly, as she looked around, she felt pride in being a part of this family.

  She followed Ms. Lawson and ran inside to grab a quick shower. As she was walking out of the gym, she noticed Sonia leaning up against the wall by the door. “Hey, what are you doing here?”

  Sonia rolled her eyes. “I’m waiting for you, what do you think? I knew I would find you here.”

  They started walking. They had chatted quite a few times this week but to be honest Clara had been busy all week between school, the newspaper, karate and soccer, which was her goal. She had kept to herself quite a bit. The outline was due today and until last night, she was avoiding it like the plague and she may have avoided everyone else in the process.

  “Is everything ok?” Clara asked.

  “Well you never answered my texts last night so…” Sonia asked.

  Clara grimaced. “What texts?”

  “The ones I sent you, seriously. Have you even checked your phone? Obviously, you didn’t. Listen, I wanted to know if you would come to the soccer game with me tonight. It’s away and I don’t want to go by myself.”

  “Um yeah, let me check. You woke up earlier to come wait for me to ask me that?” Clara asked surprisingly.

  “Yeah, I know, but I have been fucking bored out of my mind all week so here I am waiting on you. Besides, you were a bit off this week and I guess I just wanted to make sure you were ok and that it wasn’t me. I mean, I know we just met and all but I don’t know Clara. You’ve been distracted all week and well…” Sonia seemed nervous.

  Clara had stopped walking at this point. “Oh Sonia, don’t think that at all. I just had a lot on my mind this week and a lot going on. But I have to say I’m already better. I spent some time with my family and I think I needed that. I’m ok, seriously.”

  “Oh, ok. Good. I’m glad you feel better.” Suddenly it dawned on Clara that it may have been a tough week for Sonia too. It was her first week.

  “Uggh, Sonia. I’m sorry. I suck at this friend thing don’t I? It’s your first week and instead of banding together I kind of left you to fend for yourself, didn’t I?”

  It was quiet for a moment until she heard Sonia take a deep breath and then she started to chuckle. “Yeah, well, guess what? You just called yourself a friend, so you’re stuck with me now.”

  She was usually on guard with other girls but Sonia, kind of acted like those walls didn’t exist, or rather that she respected them but it wasn’t going to stop her.

  Clara smiled and responded. “I guess I am, huh. But do you know what you’re getting yourself into? I’ve got a lot of baggage.”

  “Yeah well so do I, so we are the perfect match, then.” Silence followed.

  “Are you ok Clara?” Sonia asked her sincerely.

  “Yeah, I am. Are you ok, Sonia?” Clara turned the question right back at her.

  “Yeah, I am. So, you’ll come tonight? There is a party afterwards. Will you come to that too? Alex and Gabe told me about it, but if you’re there, then it’s bearable,” Sonia pleaded.

  “Let me check first. And just so you know if you’re there then it’s bearable too.”

  “So dinner with your family, huh? I haven’t had one of those in a while,” Sonia commented.

  They chatted a few more minutes on their way to their lockers and their first class. They stopped a moment to talk to Alex. She didn’t know Alex very well, but he seemed like a good guy. He just always seemed to be looking at her curiously. While he chatted with his sister, she looked around for Gabe wondering where he was. Although this week had truly been super busy, she realized that she needed to stop being so closed off. She had been in her own world this week. Gabe had tried various times to pick up various conversations with her especially during English but she had been distracted responding more curt than usual. Connor and Rosie had also tried to talk to her at some point and she basically just ran, whenever she could. Found an excuse and ran. She realized she needed to stop running.

  As they were about to part ways heading to their different classes, Clara grabbed Sonia by the arm. “You know what? I’ll come tonight.”

  “Yeah?
” Sonia shrieked. “Great!”

  “Yeah, I have a feeling too many people are going to try to get you to partner up with them in beer pong and I’m not ready to share you just yet,” Clara declared.

  Sonia pretended to act offended, shaking her head. “Me? Moi? I would never!” She grinned and added, “This is going to be fun! I’ll see you at lunch and we can decide on times.“

  “Deal.” Clara smiled.

  14

  Gabe

  They had crushed it tonight. 3 to 1. The other team was tough but not as tough as them. He jogged back into the locker room as all the other guys let out a holler. They slapped him on the back. He grinned. Connor looked at him and smirked. It was an amazing game.

  “Hey, you coming out tonight?” Bobby said.

  “Yeah, I’m coming. I may go grab a bite to eat with my dad, Alex and Sonia but I’ll be at the party later.”

  He had been in a mood all week but tonight it all went away. He loved soccer, truly did and then having his dad there meant a lot. Gabe acted all tough and like he didn’t need anyone but the truth was when his dad made time in his busy schedule to come to something like a soccer game, especially an away game, it meant the world. Alex and Sonia were also there. When he had walked out onto the field, he looked at the crowd and saw them sitting there and then he saw those gorgeous green eyes. Clara was sitting right next to Sonia. She had been distant all week, and he had racked his brain wondering if there was something he did or said, but when he came up empty he figured she was going through something. He had barely seen her except for English class where he tried to write her a few notes, but she didn’t seem into it until today when she had looked at him and Connor and said hello. Before class ended she had written him a note and tucked it in his notebook. Good luck tonight. He’d scored two out of the three goals tonight so he was feeling pretty lucky. He headed out to meet with his family in the parking lot.

  “Hi dad.”

  “Hey, son. Great game, I’m very proud of you. You still ok going out to grab something to eat?” his father asked.

  “Yeah, you guys coming too?” as he looked at Alex and Sonia.

  “Of course, they are coming.,” Ralph objected.

  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone walking towards them. He turned to the right and there was Clara.

  “She’s coming too,” Sonia said smiling. Alex smirked. Jerk, Alex was laughing inside.

  Clara looked at Gabe, “Hi.” She said softly. She cleared her throat. “Great game. You were pretty awesome out there,” she remarked.

  “Thanks.” Her compliment made him feel 10 feet tall. What the hell was getting into him?

  She looked around at everyone. “Are you sure it’s ok, if I come? I can wait for you guys. It looks like it’s a family meal…” she had started blabbering.

  Gabe spoke up, “No! I mean, no, of course it’s fine. I’m just surprised you’re here. That’s all. I would. I mean we would love for you to come.” What the hell was wrong with him?

  Gabe’s father looked confused a moment but then smiled. “Clara, I’m Ralph. Of course, it’s more than ok for you to come. I’m happy to meet one of Sonia’s friends. Let’s go. I made a reservation. Let’s just head out with one car and then I’ll take you guys back here. It’s not far.”

  They all piled up in his car and headed to the restaurant. Gabe and his dad chatted about the game in the front seat, with Alex chiming in here and there. Sonia and Clara were discussing something but he couldn’t quite focus on both discussions at the same time without his dad noticing. As they got to the restaurant and sat down, Gabe’s father pretty much cut to the chase.

  “So Clara, I’ve heard that you are on the soccer team as well. When is your first game?”

  As they all turned to her, she blushed a second but then answered. “We already had our first game but I didn’t play since I just joined. Our second game is next week. Not sure they will let me play, since I’m relatively new but I’m excited none the less.”

  “They would be stupid not to let you play. We saw you play that day in gym. You don’t mess around,” Alex replied.

  “Is that the soccer game during gym class that everyone was talking about at Connor’s house that night?” Sonia asked. “Not that I doubt you, I just haven’t seen you in action yet. To be honest, I can’t wait to.”

  Gabe’s father proceeded to order a bunch of appetizers and told everyone to order whatever they wanted as an entree. If Gabe’s father noticed that Gabe and Clara were a little awkward towards each other he didn’t show it. Conversation flowed pretty smoothly talking about school and soccer. A few people stopped by the table to say hello to Ralph and while he politely said hello, he also made it clear that his time with his family wasn’t to be interrupted for too long. At a certain point though Ralph’s curiosity got the best of him, “So, Clara. The boys were telling me the other day that you live with your aunt and uncle? What are their names? It’s possible that I know them.”

  Clara froze and looked at the both Alex and Gabe. Great, his dad just admitted they had been talking about her. “Yes, I live with them in Belwyn. They are Nina and Frank Salvino.” You could tell she waited for the next question like she knew another one was coming, and she may have also known what it was.

  “Sounds familiar. What does your uncle do?

  “His main thing is that he owns his own construction company. But he also owns a few properties and businesses too,” Clara responded.

  “Wait, is he S&S Construction?” Gabe’s father asked. Gabe has also heard of the big construction company.

  “Yes,” she replied.

  “And your last name is also Salvino.” But he didn’t ask it like a question, rather as if he was making a statement.

  Clara looked at him like she was deciding how she wanted to respond. “Yes, I took their last name when they adopted me a few years ago. My parents died when I was young.”

  “I’m so sorry,” as Alex and Gabe murmured their apologies as well, Sonia grasped her hand and squeezed.

  “Thank you, but I know I am very lucky to have them,” Clara replied firmly.

  “Yes, you are. I work with quite a few children, so I know there are worse circumstances. Where did you go to school before East Cynwood?” Gabe’s father asked her.

  “I went to Mount Saint Peter’s, but I didn’t like it there much,” Clara answered.

  “Well, that gives us something else to compare notes to.” Sonia also replied and laughed.

  “And before that? Where did you go to middle school? Did you go to public or private?” Ralph was insistent.

  Clara looked down and moved both her hands to her lap and Gabe obviously noticed a deep uneasiness in regards to this question. All eyes were on her.

  “Um, no I didn’t go to a middle school here.” Something had obviously happened and he could tell she didn’t feel comfortable speaking about it. Although Gabe’s father was genuinely interested he also was trying to figure something out. Gabe could tell. So before his dad could ask another question, he looked at Alex and shook his head slightly.

  Alex understood immediately and decided to take the bull by the horn and change the subject. “So, uncle Ralph, do you think you have some time to come check out Vilneva University with me and my dad?” Soon Alex and his uncle were involved in a deep discussion about colleges and his future lacrosse career.

  Gabe obviously had no idea that Clara had lost her parents. It was something they had in common, to a certain extent. He lost his mom but to lose both? He understood some of it now, her hesitancy, why she seemed on guard. There was probably more to the story but it explained part of it. And hell, if it didn’t make her seem even more beautiful, because she was obviously strong. She had caught him staring more than once but he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off of her. There was something about her that intrigued him.

&n
bsp; They finished their dinner and Gabe’s father took them back to their cars telling them to be careful and not to be late. They exchanged thank you for dinner, Clara especially. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Clara. I’m sure I will see you around soon enough at the house and other games.”

  Clara looked at him quizzically until Sonia said, “we sleep at uncle Ralph’s house a lot. We even have our own rooms. You’ll definitely be there at some point.”

  “Oh, ok. Got it,” Clara replied.

  All of a sudden, all Gabe could think about was Clara in his room. Fuck. What was happening to him? He rarely brought other girls to his house but yet now all he could picture was Clara in his home. In the kitchen. Studying with him in the family room. Outside on the deck. And most definitely in his bedroom. Fuck. This girl was getting under his skin and he didn’t even know her that well. He shook his head and resolved to be a bit stronger.

  “What do you guys want to do? Are we heading to the party or did you guys want to do something else?” He would have preferred to hang out with just the three of them. It would give him the chance to get to know Clara better and figure out what it was about her that had him thinking crazy thoughts. But he and Alex had told the others they would be at the party.

  “Well, I would love to just chill but you are the captain of the soccer team and you just won a game against a pretty tough team, so we have to at least make an appearance.” Alex’s thoughts mirrored his own.

  “Yeah, let’s go, before I change my mind.” As Gabe said that he glanced at Clara, and he saw Alex smirk.

  They headed to the party and as soon as he walked in, people cheered, pulling him to the side to do a shot. He looked back and Alex had moved closer to the girls to ensure that everyone knew both Clara and Sonia were with them. They didn’t know Clara well yet, but she was being a friend to Sonia and although there were times she seemed distanced, she seemed genuine so until further notice, she was with them. He said hello to everyone and took a shot. Right after someone proceeded to hook him up with a beer. After a few minutes he looked over at Alex and the girls, and Bobby quickly took notice. “Want me to see if they want something to drink? I know you won’t let just anyone serve the girls.”