Breathe

by Tania Trozzo

  “Sorry, if sitting here interrupts your flirting sessions,” Gabe started, “Maybe you should start your own table and you can have a ticket system or you can set up appointment times, that way you can be better organized. But don’t count on Sonia sitting there with your group of boytoys.”

  Clara’s head shot up and looked at Gabe. Everyone at the table became quiet. Had he really just said that? It wasn’t just what he said it was how he said it, with a carefree yet smug attitude. This was a side of him that she knew existed, others had spoken about it but she had yet to see it. It was the façade he sometimes showed the world. She could feel tears spring to her eyes. But she was not going to cry in front of the entire cafeteria. She had no idea what she did to get him to say this to her, but she sure as hell didn’t deserve it so she responded, “I’m used to dealing with assholes Gabe, I just didn’t realize you were one of them.”

  Tables were quiet, quite a few girls gasped from the surrounding tables, no one talked to Gabe like that. Regret flashed for one second in Gabe’s eyes. The people around them waited a beat to see what Gabe would respond but before he could, Clara stood up, grabbed her bag and left.

  16

  Gabe

  “What the hell was that?” Sonia hissed. Alex looked at her and shook his head. “Don’t, Alex. That was out of line. I’m going make sure she’s ok.” She shook her head and got up, took her tray and headed in the direction in which Clara just left.

  Gabe watched Sonia rush out behind Clara. He lounged back in his seat and pushed his food tray away. He had lost his appetite. She had not only called him out on his bullshit but called him an asshole in front of the entire cafeteria. Everyone was waiting. They wanted to see what he would do. They wanted fireworks. But he wouldn’t react in front of them. He was going to say something but Alex beat him to it. “Show’s over, folks. Keep eating, you’ve only got 10 minutes left so move on.”

  He looked over at Alex and noticed Connor with a confused look on his face, questioning him. Gabe sighed. Shit. He didn’t know what came over him. Seeing all those guys trying to flirt with her made him see red. From where he was sitting she didn’t seem to mind it either. With Lucas she seemed like she was even flirting back, tilting her head and biting her lip. She even fucking blushed. Then he saw Connor’s hands on her, it was the tip of the iceberg. Connor who flirts with everyone and she didn’t even step away. He thought she was different but maybe she wasn’t. Stop and think for a second. Deep down he knew that wasn’t true. She wasn’t like that. His gut clenched, he couldn’t get the look in her eyes out of his head.

  Alex nudged Connor. “Dude, are you coming to the mall with us?”

  Connor quickly caught on, “Nah, I have to do something with my sister today. Maybe we can hang later.”

  They started talking about a bunch of other things and soon the other guys at the table caught on and continued talking and cracking jokes for a few more minutes. Gabe contributed very little to the conversation, his jaw ticking. He noticed quite a few faces kept glancing in his direction, including Connor. Soon the bell rang signaling that lunch was over. Alex went to Gabe distancing them from the majority of the crowd, but Gabe shook his head. “Not now, man.”

  “Ok, but I have to say I’m kind of with Sonia on this one. You sure?” Alex asked Gabe.

  Connor noticed them talking and walked by, not stopping like he usually would have done. Gabe would see him later at soccer practice. He sighed. He needed to get his head on straight. He walked away from Alex and continued with the rest of his classes. Toward the end of the day, he was walking down the hall and he saw Clara walking down the hall from the opposite end. Their eyes locked, as they always did, but there was tension. Hurt flashed in her eyes for a second, but then she locked her jaw, tilted her chin slightly up and a wall slid over her face. Damn it, if that look didn’t turn him on too. She was strong and was showing him she wouldn’t stand for his bullshit. Neither of them slowed down but they kept staring at each other both turning slightly to get a good look at the other. When he turned his head to continue looking forward he noticed Jamie and Kristin taking note of the entire exchange. He proceeded to the remainder of his classes but was quiet for the rest of the afternoon.

  School ended, and he headed to practice. As usual all the guys were joking around but when he walked in they could sense the mood he was in and toned it down and it actually became pretty quiet.

  Connor sat down on the bench near him, “Hey.” But he didn’t say much else.

  Coach came into the room, “Come on, let’s get out there. Hustle ladies, hustle.” All the guys started to head out, Gabe and Connor bringing up the rear. The silence between them was uncomfortable. Gabe felt more than once that he should start to say something but nothing would come out.

  “I sure hope that you weren’t referring to me as one of those boytoys,” Connor said quietly.

  Gabe swung his head towards him and sighed. He stopped walking and put his hands on his hips, “Con..”

  But Connor interrupted him. “Let me say something first.” Connor stopped walking and faced him. “I’m not one of Clara’s boytoys and I sure as hell would hope you would know that by now. I went to help her from an awkward situation. You have to realize that Clara is not like what you insinuated, and I’m pretty sure you do, I think that is one of the reasons you like her. But, dude, I’ve never seen you like that with a chick that didn’t deserve it. Sonia’s right. It was out of line. She’s new and she’s gorgeous.” Connor held up his hand seeing that Gabe was going to open his mouth, “let me finish. On top of all of that, she’s kind and isn’t like most of the other girls. Did you think guys wouldn’t notice? So, you either get used to, grit your teeth and stop acting like an ass or you claim her, so everyone knows not to mess with her.”

  Connor looked at him expectantly. “Connor, I’m sorry, man. I just. I don’t know. I’m trying to be careful with her and you know me I’m usually not like that. I couldn’t give two shits. But, I saw red. Here I am going slow and then there she was just ….”

  “Just what? Having a conversation with 2 other guys? Then walking away with me who went to go save her from Lucas? Yeah, they were probably trying to hit on her but I’m pretty sure she was just talking. That’s it. I don’t know what you think you saw, but that is what happened.”

  Gabe grabbed his hair and groaned, “Fuck.” Connor laughed. Gabe apologized to Connor, “I’m sorry man.”

  But Connor answered, “Gabe, I think you should be saying I’m sorry to her.” Gabe nodded.

  “What are you guys doing down there? Stop the chit chat and get the hell up here to practice.” Coach yelled. They both headed to the field, grabbing different colored jerseys. Connor looked over and grabbed Gabe’s jersey and gave him the one he had. Gabe looked at him.

  “Figured you’d want to get some of that pent up frustration out on the field,” nodded towards Lucas who now had Gabe’s opposing team’s jersey. Connor smirked and remarked, “this should be fun.” Gabe laughed. And it was fun.

  17

  Clara

  Clara arrived at karate just in time to get changed and take class. She made sure to stretch a bit more than usual. She was extremely tense after the incident with Gabe. When she walked out of the cafeteria, Sonia had come after her. To be honest, she was surprised that Sonia followed her, considering Gabe was her cousin. Pretty much whatever Gabe and Alex said was law, especially in their grade. Even most of the senior class respected those two. But like a true friend she came after her, wanting to make sure she was ok. She also tried to apologize for Gabe but Clara told her that wasn’t for her to do. She was used to guys being assholes so it wasn’t anything new to her. She just didn’t expect it from Gabe but it was what it was. To make it worse, everywhere she went people eyed her, waiting for something to happen, some whispered as soon as she approached or left any of her classes.

  Jamie m
ade sure to make a few hurtful comments in the locker room. “Guess someone is already on her way out,” as she pushed up against Clara. Coach Lawson had walked in at that moment yelling at everyone to get on the field.

  Jamie then goaded her on the field, so Clara looked at her and responded, “Why don’t you show me what you’ve got on the field today?” Clara used all her hurt and anger and channeled it in practice today. Both Coach Lawson and Coach Rossi complimented her on her playing today, which angered Jamie even more. Moira had rolled her eyes at Jamie, while a few others chuckled and then patted Clara on the back for a job well done.

  But now here she was in karate. She didn’t know what to do about what had happened, but she knew that right now she didn’t want to think about it. 10 minutes before the end of class, she felt him. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and sure enough Gabe had just walked into the studio. He looked at her and went to sit down in the back row. She continued with her practice but could feel his eyes on her the entire time. Her heart was going a mile a minute. She didn’t know what to think so she continued as if he wasn’t there. Sensei noticed the initial tension so when class was finished, he went to Clara to ensure everything was ok.

  “Clara, is everything alright? Who’s the guy?” Sensei Colin observed.

  “A friend from school,” she responded.

  “A friend, huh? Are you sure because you seem a little nervous. Want me to scare him off?” he asked her.

  She smiled. “No, he..he’s fine. We just have to talk about something.”

  “Ok, I’m sticking around a few extra minutes just in case. Or you can just use one of your moves and show him who’s boss,” he said as he reached out and squeezed her shoulder.

  Clara put a few things away, took a deep breath and walked off the mat, making sure to bow before stepping off. Gabe stood up. Clara put on her shoes but she didn’t want to talk to Gabe right here in the studio. She started walking towards the exit into the hallway and then stopped to look at him. He let out a breath as though he had been holding it, nodded and then followed her out. They walked a little down the hall, until she turned around and dropped her duffle bag on the floor. She hadn’t even bothered to get changed. She looked up at him. He was so handsome with his wavy hair, his chiseled jaw, with those killer lips. But his eyes, they were stunning, he let down his wall, plain for her to see.

  “Clara, I’m sorry. I..” he stopped for a second looking for the right words. “I’m sorry Clara. I really am. I didn’t mean what I said at all.”

  She looked at him with her arms crossed over her chest. Clara was honestly surprised that he apologized so quickly and suddenly all the hurt and anger just faded. She nodded, dropped her hands and said, “I just..I just don’t understand what I did for you to say that and I’m not like the girl you insinuated. At all.” She quietly yet firmly replied.

  He answered frantically, “I know you’re not. At all.” He stopped and hesitated before admitting, “I guess I was jealous.”

  She looked at him with confusion on her face. “Jealous of Aaron and Lucas?” she asked incredulously. She didn’t understand why he would be jealous but the fact that he came all this way to apologize, meant a lot to her.

  He said remorsefully running his hand through his hair, “I know, not my proudest moment for sure. I shouldn’t have acted like that.”

  He shook his head as though he was looking for words to say, while she nodded and then moved a step closer. His eyes widened and he ran his hand through his hair but then took a step closer as well. She moved closer to him and put her hands on his chest. It was as though her body was moving of its own accord. She leaned her forehead on his chest, and all her tension eased, her shoulders relaxed. He had been holding his breath but as soon as she touched him, he let it out and slowly wound his arms around her while she did the same. They stood like that a few minutes. She moved back just a little to be able to look at him, “I’m sorry I called you an asshole.”

  “No, don’t be sorry for that. I’m pretty sure I deserved that, but you, you didn’t deserve what I said. Any of it. So, I’m the one who should be sorry. And I am.”

  She nodded and was about to step out of the embrace, when all of a sudden, he pulled her back to his chest. “Is this ok?” She didn’t really answer but just hugged him back. This was unusual for her, she didn’t allow many people to hold her but with him it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. The fact that he asked demonstrated that he in fact noticed quite a few things about her. She remembered her note from earlier today and smiled.

  18

  Gabe

  As Gabe held her close, he felt the tension from the day just drain from him. He also realized that being this close to Clara right now, he had a bit of difficulty breathing. He kept letting out his breath like he needed to catch it. The fact that she allowed him to hug her, to hold her, he knew was important. He didn’t know why but he knew that sooner or later he would find out.

  He held her another moment but then pulled away, “Want to grab some pizza? Or something else to eat? I’m presuming you didn’t eat but if you did we could, I don’t know, do something else? Coffee, maybe?”

  She smiled. “I didn’t eat yet, no. I’ll have to let my family know. But weren’t you going to the mall?”

  “Yeah, I decided not to go. I came to see you instead.”

  Her face flushed. “Well, let me call my aunt and get changed really quickly.“

  “Ok, I’ll wait here, or better yet, I’ll wait inside.”

  She pulled away and nodded, and picked up her duffle bag, taking out her phone and walked inside headed towards the girls’ changing room. He sat down and texted Alex letting him know he wouldn’t be meeting up with them.

  Did you apologize?

  Gabe texted back. Yes.

  Alex was quick to respond. Good.

  Gabe shook his head settling in a bit more comfortably in the chair, but he didn’t need to. 5 mins later, Clara walked out. He swore she lit up the whole studio as she did. Quite a few turned to look at her. Her cheeks were a little flushed, adding to her beauty. He stood up, reached for her duffle bag and they headed out.

  “I had just settled in, thinking for sure, you would take at least 20 minutes. Never saw a girl get ready in less than 10.”

  She smiled at him and it was like a fucking sucker punch. “Well, this is what you get tonight, plus I’m a little hungry,” she responded all sassy. He opened the door to head outside and put his hand on the small of her back.

  “So, we can walk to the pizza place right up ahead or we can go to a different place, if you don’t like that one.”

  “Let’s go there, the pizza is actually pretty good.” They headed there and sat down at a booth in the back corner and ordered rather quickly.

  “So, how long have you been doing karate?” Gabe asked her. And that is how their conversation began. The talked about her karate, and his soccer. His father and her aunt and uncle. He was a sponge, soaking up every word she said. They talked about school in general and their classes until they got to the subject of the paper for creative writing.

  “I’m surprised that you are taking that class.”

  “What, creative writing?” Gabe shrugged. “I like Mr. Brooks, he has passion which most of the teachers lack. I knew about this paper and that it would be hard but, I don’t know, I figured why not. He’s cool and I don’t dislike writing as long as I don’t have to share it with everyone.” Clara nodded. “You obviously love to write since you joined the newspaper, is that why you‘re taking the class?”

  “Yeah, I had heard about him too. I didn’t know about this paper though,” Clara responded.

  Gabe replied, “He makes a lot of students rewrite the paper over and over again trying to get them to be as honest as they can. Some think he doesn’t see through all the BS but he does. Did you think it was difficult to writ
e?” What a question. Clara looked down at her hands. Whatever she had written about made her nervous.

  She looked up, “Actually, I thought it would be but once I started, it just poured out on paper.”

  Gabe smiled, “Yeah, for me it was difficult considering it was about losing my mom.”

  Clara reached over and squeezed his hand, “That must have been hard. I’m sorry about your mom, Gabe.”

  Just as she was about to pull her hand away, he turned his hand and pulled hers back and held on to it, not letting it go, “thanks,” he said in a hoarse voice. She looked down. “Clara, would you look at me?” and she did. “I’m not going to ask you what you wrote about. Believe me, I want to but I can tell it’s hard for you. But when you’re ready, I’ll be here to listen.”

  “Thank you,” she whispered, holding on a little tighter to his hand. Gabe changed the subject without a hitch and without even realizing it, another bit of time had passed, it was already late. Clara had received a text asking if she was ok.

  “They’re protective of you, aren’t they?” he asked Clara.

  “Yeah, they are,” Carla said.

  “Good, they should be.” She looked at him and smiled. He shrugged, “I get it, you’re their niece. I’d be protective of you too. Let’s go, don’t want to get on their bad side and keep you out too late. Did you drive? If not I can drive you home.”

  “Yeah, I drove,” Clara responded.

  “I’ll walk you to your car then.”

  They walked out of the pizza place and headed towards her car. Gabe wanted to grab her hand but wasn’t sure. He had never been so hesitant before. They had finally gotten to her car and she turned around. Damn, she was beautiful. The way the streetlight illuminated her face, it literally took his breath away. He rubbed at his chest and cleared his throat.