First Love: A Single Dad Second Chance Romance

by Amy Brent

  “You know, if you were going to find a woman to replace me, you could have picked someone with a bit more class,” she yelled.

  “I told you to go,” I growled from the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed and rubbing my face. “I don’t want you here.”

  “Everyone is just so hospitable today,” Josie said. “At least your little girlfriend heard me out when I came in. I really thought she was going to kick me out, but she was too sweet for that.”

  I ignored Josie, trying to figure out what the hell had happened. Everything had been going so well. Why would she leave like that? Was it because I had to work? Was she only placating me when she told me she would get Sicily started on homework? Nothing about this made any sense to me, and I could feel my stomach churning.

  “You need to relax,” Josie yelled. “She’s obviously not here. She left in quite the hurry.”

  I picked my head up wondering how the hell Josie knew when she left. Then I realized that I had forgotten all about the fact that my ex-wife was sitting in my living room when she definitely did not have a key. Then it hit me that all of this was because of Josie. She did something or said something to Emma that made her run. I knew Josie was trouble, but I never thought she would go after Emma. How did she even know about Emma? I could feel the blood boiling in my body, and I gripped my fists closed and rushed out of the bedroom and down the stairs into the living room. My anger scared Josie into sitting straight up as I stopped, my finger just inches from her face.

  “What the hell did you do?” I growled.

  The fear slowly drained out of Josie’s face, and in its place was a snide smile. She reached up and pushed my hand to the side, leaning back and looking at her fingernails. I was so livid, I was afraid of what I might do to her.

  “I said, what did you do?” I said through gritted teeth.

  “Nothing,” she shrugged. “I just told her the truth about you, about me, and about this whole situation that we’re in. You know you should be more careful about who you let into your apartment. You never know when you’ll piss someone off enough that they’ll come up here and ruin your perfect little existence. She needed to know the truth. She was living in some fairy tale where the rich guy fell in love promising her a life of beautiful things. She needed to know it was a complete crock of shit. Besides, she didn’t really look like your type anyway. She was too not New York.”

  “First of all, you have no idea what my type is. I figured out after you left that you definitely weren’t it,” I said. “Secondly, you wouldn’t know the truth if it stared you in the face. So what truth did you tell her? The real truth or your twisted and sick version that you attempted to use so New York social life didn’t snub you right out the door?”

  “What do you care what those people think? You always thought you were better than them anyway,” she said. “I had to keep some kind of credit around here. You didn’t give me a dime when we divorced, and I was there the whole way.”

  “Of course, I didn’t give you a dime,” I screamed. “You left us. If you wanted money, you shouldn’t have found a boyfriend to run off with.”

  “Oh, stop being so naïve.” She laughed. “Maybe if you were more attentive, then I wouldn’t have looked elsewhere. You never bought me flowers and strawberries.”

  “That’s bullshit,” I said. “I always did things for you.”

  “You have a short memory,” she scoffed.

  “You know what? This is not worth arguing over,” I said calming myself. “You’re not going to get to me anymore. Where did she go?”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “She’s probably halfway back to Podunk Maine by now.”

  I turned, rubbing my forehead, assuming she was probably right. She didn’t know anyone in the city, and if she was going to run off somewhere, it would be back home to her family and friends. I groaned, walking up the stairs and sitting down on the stool. I couldn’t believe I was back to square one, trying to fix what my ex-wife so harmoniously fucked up for me.

  “Oh, and congratulations on the new baby,” she said snidely. “I’m sure you’ll be an adorable little family.”

  I stood up from the chair and marched down the steps, grabbing Josie by the arm and lifting her up off the couch. I marched her across the room, grabbing her purse from the table and opening the front door. I shoved her out into the hallway and threw her bag at her.

  “Get out,” I said. “If you ever come back here, I will call the police and get a restraining order on you. Don’t fucking test me.”

  I slammed the door in her face and turned around, walking back into the living room and over to the windows. I pounded my hands against the glass and thought about the fact that there weren’t that many flights from New York to Bangor, especially in the middle of the day. I ran over to my laptop and opened it up, going straight to the airport’s website. I searched for flights leaving LaGuardia and going to Bangor, and I found one. I scrolled over to the departure time and slammed my fists on the table. It was leaving in ten minutes, and with the traffic, it would take me at least forty minutes just to get there. I didn’t have any contacts at the airport that could stop her, and I wouldn’t do that anyway because I didn’t want to scare the hell out of her.

  I walked over and sat down on the couch, feeling completely defeated. That was it? That was how this whole thing was going to end? The love of my life was chased away by my ex-wife, and she took the future of our family with her back to Camden. I didn’t know what to do, whether to call her, to run after her, or to just let it go. Obviously, whatever Josie had said had really sunk into her, enough for her to not even talk to me about it. She had obviously packed and headed out in a hurry, leaving her sweater hanging on the kitchen chair. My heart was broken into a hundred pieces, and this time, it really was my fault. If I had just answered Josie’s call when she called me, I could have stopped this before it even began. My world was crashing down around my shoulders, and I was completely out of control.

  Chapter 30

  One Week Later

  Emma

  My plane had landed in Bangor exactly one week and one day ago, with Caroline and Gillian waiting for me at the airport. I had 911’d them to Bangor in one hour before my flight took off from LaGuardia, and when they picked me up, they didn’t even ask a single question. They just wrapped me in their arms and took me home where I really needed to be, where I would sit and start to wither away for an entire week. I just sat there on the couch with a blanket wrapped around me, the girls sitting across from me. They had brought over decaf coffee and some donuts to try to coerce me off the couch, but it wasn’t working. Brandt had called me over and over about a million times since I had left, but every single time the phone rang, I rejected the call and sent it to voice mail. The sound of my ringtone had driven me so crazy that I put the damn thing on vibrate just to avoid hearing it a hundred times a day. You would think by that point, he would have gotten the point, but I knew he wouldn’t stop trying, not until I answered, which wasn’t going to happen.

  Every few days, my phone would pop up a dialogue box letting me know that my text messages were almost full. I didn’t even know it was possible to fill your text message box to that point, but Brandt proved me wrong. At first, I had read them, shaking my head at his pleas for me to call him, telling me that he knew about Josie and whatever she said was a lie, but I couldn’t even start to think about it. I didn’t want to talk to him. I didn’t want to hear him tell me any more lies or any more half-truths about his life. He had fooled me over and over again, and this time, I only had myself to blame.

  “I can’t believe I was that stupid,” I said, looking up at the girls who looked surprised that I was talking. “He pulled the wool over my eyes.”

  “It’s not your fault,” Caroline said. “He took advantage of the fact that you were pregnant and rolled you right back in. He introduced you to his family because he knew it would make it harder for you to let go if you loved more than just his personal
ity. He’s obviously a con artist, and the worst kind of one, the one with money who thinks because his bank is fat, he can do whatever he wants to people without repercussions. I have met men like him time and time again, and every time, I just want to shake the shit out of them.”

  “He was really convincing,” I said. “He was on his game all of the time. I can’t believe I actually thought I could be that happy for once. That my life was finally turning into what I wanted it to be.”

  “I know,” Gillian said. “But love blinds us. The hope for a better future makes it impossible for us to accept the faults in people. It’s an incredibly cruel thing, and I’m so sorry you had to go through that. But you’re home now with us and with your family, and we’re there for you. We won’t lie to you. You know that, even when you don’t want to hear the truth.”

  “You, of all people, know that this too will pass,” Caroline said. “The pain will go away. You just have to give it time. Time heals everything, you know that. Those little pieces that you think you lost will eventually come back. And you still have that baby to think about, that baby who’s going to need its mom to be strong and brave through all of this. That child will have to know that you did everything you could to keep its father in your life, and when it didn’t work out, you went on and continued to create a better life for you and it. We are right here beside you.”

  “Why don’t you go out with us tonight?” Gillian said. “It’s karaoke night, and you can sit with us and make fun of the desperate women singing Mariah Carey.”

  “Yeah,” I scoffed, pointing at my belly. “I will really fit in there.”

  “That doesn’t matter,” Caroline said. “Everyone knows you’re pregnant, and they have all been asking where you were. They will be happy to see you.”

  “Getting out of the house will be good for you,” Gillian said. “You need to get some fresh air, get yourself on your feet, and start moving forward. Just like any other breakup, the best cure is to not wither away in your own sadness. Only this time, you can’t get wasted when you do it.”

  “Or get laid,” Caroline said. “But you don’t need either of those things.”

  “I really appreciate what you guys are trying to do, I swear,” I said. “But I’m not ready to go out yet. The friendship you two have shown me has been immeasurable, and I promise I won’t be stuck like this forever, but for now, I just want to stay in and relax. My head hurts, my heart hurts, and I haven’t showered in like three days. I’m going to take a bath, watch some old movies, and try to get my brain straight. You two should go out tonight and have a good time. You deserve it for being there for me through all of this. I mean, I didn’t even tell you what happened until two days after you picked me up. I’m making progress.”

  “You are,” Gillian said. “And we understand. We won’t pressure you to go out to the bar. I can understand why you might not want to go. If you change your mind, we can come pick you up in a heartbeat.”

  “Have you eaten today?” Caroline asked.

  “No,” I said. “My nausea has been back, and I’m not really that hungry. I’ll keep these donuts and munch on them when I get hungry.”

  “Why don’t you get up, and we can go over to the Italian restaurant,” Gillian said. “It’s your favorite, and you can get some good food in that belly. You’re eating for the baby too. Don’t forget that.”

  “I appreciate it,” I said. “But I think I just want to take a nap. I’m really tired.”

  “All right,” Caroline said. “You get that sleep. You won’t get a lot when the baby is born. If you’re hungry when you wake up, text me, and I’ll bring some food over for you.”

  “Thank you,” I said. “I love you guys.”

  “We love you too,” Gillian said. “Don’t forget that. I’ll have my phone on me all night, so anything you need, don’t hesitate.”

  “I won’t,” I smiled. “Have fun tonight but not too much fun.”

  “You know us,” Caroline said rolling her eyes. “I’ll video Gillian drunk singing some stupid love ballad to Alex. That’ll cheer you up.”

  I laughed and watched as they smiled and walked out the front door. I lay there for a minute listening to the silence in the house. It had been the first time I had been there alone since the girls brought me back. They had taken turns staying over, making sure I was okay, and most of the time, just being there for me so I knew I wasn’t alone. I curled up in a ball and sank down on the couch, reaching for the remote and flipping on the television. I went channel by channel, my mind flickering back and forth between the television and the memories that wouldn’t leave my mind. I hadn’t been this miserable in my entire life. I stopped the television on an old black and white movie and pulled the covers up to my chin.

  I tried to pay attention to the movie, but eventually, I just stared off out the window, not looking at anything in particular. I thought about how good everything had been, how amazing it had felt to be there with Brandt. We’d had so many plans for the future, and we’d had made each other so many promises. There was more than just love there. There was a bond that I never imagined could be broken by his ex-wife. Then again, it wasn’t broken by his ex-wife. It had been broken by him. I reminded myself that everything I remembered was fake. It never really existed. It was all a bunch of lies, compounding on each other and building up to that moment. I could feel the tears pulling at the corners of my eyes, and I tried to hold back like I had been for days, but the floodgates just opened.

  I pulled my hands over my eyes and sobbed, letting out a deep breath. I hadn’t cried once since I’d left. I had let it bubble up so hard inside of me that by the time I finally let it all go, I couldn’t stop myself. I got up and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a tissue and drinking some water. I put my hand over my face and continued crying, knowing it would help me heal. I was exhausted both mentally and emotionally. I went back and curled up on the couch and cried myself to sleep, hoping that when I woke up, I would feel better.

  It wasn’t a dreamless sleep, though. As my mind calmed into sleep, I found myself back in the apartment in New York City. Things were bright and shining, almost like a television show. My dream was in black and white, and I was standing in the kitchen, laughing and talking to Sicily. She called me Mom and told me how much she loved me as I basted a chicken on the counter. We both turned and clapped excitedly, hearing the door open. Brandt walked around the corner carrying flowers, hugging Sicily tightly, and leaning down and kissing me on the forehead. At that moment, there was a cry from the other room, and Sicily ran off, coming back with a beautiful baby in her arms. It was our baby, and I could barely keep my eyes off it.

  Before I could pull the baby into my arms, there was a buzzing at the door. Everything went dark, and I was standing by myself, the buzzing getting louder and louder. I screamed out in my dream, running through the dark, looking for the life that had been there just a moment ago. When the buzzing started again, I closed my eyes and screamed. I sat up straight on the couch, still screaming, breathing heavily as I realized that it was all a dream. I looked over to find my phone buzzing loudly on the table. I picked it up and groaned, seeing Brandt calling again. I rejected his call and tossed the phone back on the table, lying down and staring up at the ceiling.

  Everything in my life had hinged on the family that I really thought I was going to have, and at that moment, all I wanted to do was forget it. I couldn’t do anything without Brandt texting, calling, or just generally being on my mind. Things were worse than they were before he had come to Camden, and I regretted ever going to New York with him. I should have stuck to my guns, been cautious, but I didn’t. No more tears were falling from my eyes, and I told myself right then and there that I would never again let a man hurt me like that.

  Chapter 31

  Brandt

  It had been over a week since Emma had left without a word, without a note, and without any warning at all. She had been bombarded by Josie, who kept sending me gloating tex
t messages about how she was ruining my life. I was miserable, just plain miserable, and I didn’t know what to do about it. I had never been in a situation like this before, trying to get back the love of my life after losing her for something I hadn’t even done. From the texts that Josie sent, I could assume she had told her I was letting her back in my life or something along those lines. It was crazy and absurd, but I could see how Josie could have convinced Emma. She was conniving, and Emma was fragile, especially being alone with her and me not there to defend myself.

  Josie had ruined my life time and time again. First, she left Sicily and me, leaving me to pick up the pieces and raise a little girl on my own. Eventually, I saw the blessing disguised in the situation, but I could never see any blessing in her pushing Emma away. She had chased her off to get back at me, not realizing and not caring that she had also gravely hurt her daughter in the process. I felt like I had lost everything in one day. My life was bleak and sad without Emma in it, and no matter what anyone did, they couldn’t bring me out of it. My mom had tried talking to me when it first happened, but it was no use, I was way too angry and hurt at that point. Sicily knew something went terribly wrong, but she was at a loss for words, which wasn’t like her at all.

  If I could just hear her voice, get her to listen to reason, I knew she would open her eyes to what actually happened. I had been calling and texting Emma since she’d left, but she was refusing to even pick up the phone or send me a text back. I grabbed my phone and called her again, hoping that this time, she would actually answer. It rang three times and went to voice mail, but her inbox was full, most likely from the messages I had sent her. She wasn’t even listening to those, much less reading my text messages, I was sure. I threw my phone down on the desk and watched as it bounced off into the chair across from me. I groaned, pulling my hands over my face and leaning over in the chair. I felt like crying, something I never did, and couldn’t remember the last time it happened. I was frustrated, sad, and really just wanted to get things back to the way they were.