Savor Every Moment

by Shea Balik

  Wasn’t it better to be happy than sad? He sure as shit wished he could be happy right now. It would serve his mate right to show him his cruel… a sob broke from deep within him. The sound was drowned out by the bubbly stream, but Greyson had heard it and held him even tighter.

  They had sat there silently for the better part of an hour before Elton’s tears had dried up enough for him to find his voice. Well, not his voice, for his was usually happy and carefree, while this one sounded as if he was buried under a thick layer of depression and pushed down by despair.

  “Do you think we only get one mate?” Elton asked not sure if he wanted to know the answer. If it was yes, it meant he would forever be without a mate since jerkwad didn’t want him. But if it was no, it would only mean there would be someone else who would eventually break his heart when he rejected Elton, too.

  Greyson didn’t answer at first, indicating, like always, he was considering his words. “I don’t know. It would seem rather cruel for fate to give us only one. What if one of the pair dies? Does that mean the other has to live the rest of his or her life alone? Plus, what are the odds, in this great big world, if there was only one mate, that we would meet that person?”

  He should have known Greyson would never just give him a yes or no answer. Greyson was an amazing person, with the patience of a saint, but was too damn honest to be of any help when Elton just wanted a simple answer to his question.

  “Did you meet your mate?” Greyson asked after a few minutes of more silence.

  “How did you know to look for me if you don’t know the answer to that question?” A huge part of Elton wanted Greyson to tell him that his jerk of a mate had realized his mistake as soon as Elton had run and had the whole town out looking for him. Gods, he was idiot.

  “Pryor called.” Just like that, Greyson unwittingly dashed all of Elton’s dreams of his mate actually being worried about him. “He said that you’d ran out of there like a bat out of hell after an argument with Wray.”

  “So, that’s my mate’s name,” Elton said without thinking.

  “Which one?” Greyson asked. “Pryor or Wray?”

  He really didn’t want to say, but Elton knew it was too late now. Everyone would know soon enough that not even Elton’s mate wanted him. “Wray,” he whispered against Greyson’s chest as he ducked his head in shame.

  “I take it things didn’t go well between you two.”

  Dejected, he mumbled nearly incoherently, “You could say that.”

  “You do remember you aren’t the only one who had a challenging beginning when meeting their mate, right?” Greyson reminded him. “I even heard Alpha Edrick and Nole didn’t exactly get along when they first met, and Lucca had put his mate in chains for trying to kill Nole.”

  His friend was right. Just because fate put two people together didn’t mean they instantly hit it off. It also didn’t mean Wray would never like him. “He asked if I was out of my fucking mind, then accused me of being high before telling me he didn’t want me for a mate.”

  Even now, his heart felt as if it had been ripped to pieces and stomped on. “My mate was supposed to be the one person who understood me and accepted me for who I was, not tell me I’m crazy, or drugged, and toss me into the garbage like the rest of the world.”

  Greyson let out a long slow breath, as if once more he was doing his best to come up with the best way to say whatever he was about to tell his friend. For Elton, that meant his friend was going to tell him something he didn’t want to hear. Wasn’t being rejected by his own mate enough bad news for one day?

  “We both know you can be a little impulsive at times,” Greyson said kindly, although Elton wasn’t sure there was anything kind about it.

  Did he do things most thought insane? Yes. He owned that. But that didn’t make him impulsive. Why was enjoying life such a crime?

  “For some, that can be a little off putting.” Greyson was putting that mildly. There had been more than one person who’d tried to have him committed. Some had even tried to have him killed.

  If Wray were anyone else, Elton wouldn’t have cared so damn much. No. Greyson might be right about the way others saw him, but that didn’t matter when it came to his mate.

  Jumping down from the rock, Elton faced one of his very best friends. “I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks of me. They can all take a long walk off a short pier for all I care. But Wray is my mate. He’s the one person who is supposed to have my back but, as usual, fate has found a way to fuck me over.”

  “Elton, it’s not that simple,” Greyson started to say.

  But Elton had had enough. “It is that simple, Greyson. Mates don’t tell each other they aren’t good enough.” Who was he kidding? No one, not even his parents, had ever told Elton he was anything other than a problem. “Or at least they shouldn’t.”

  Not waiting around for his friend to try and tell him to give Wray another chance, Elton left. As much as he hated to have to tell Iniko he’d failed at another job, it was better than having to go back to the farm and have his mate tell him again that he wasn’t wanted.

  CHAPTER 3

  “Are you out of your damn mind?” Chadwick cursed. “He’s your mate, not a piece of garbage.”

  “Hold on there, kitten,” Saber put his arms around his mate as if making sure Chadwick didn’t try and attack Wray. Considering the man’s claws were out, it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. “If I remember right, you didn’t exactly accept our mating either.”

  Chadwick glared at his mate over his shoulder. “That was different. I was afraid you were going to end up like my father, always telling me what to do.” Then he pointed to Wray, his gray eyes flashing with fire. “He’s just a douche, unable to accept that his mate likes to have a little fun.”

  “A little fun?” Wray raised an eyebrow at Chadwick. “He was doing a handstand on a god damned tractor. He could have killed himself, not to mention the tractor no longer works after he ran over a rock he’d been trying to put on the seat so he could do his little stunt and ended up tipping the machine over.”

  Chadwick had the nerve to shrug. “So, he’s a little over zealous. I would think that someone who has a giant tree stuck up his ass could use someone to loosen him up before you end up more of a prick than you already are.”

  “Getting himself killed isn’t something we should be encouraging,” Wray shot back. “He’s irresponsible with no regard to the damage he created.”

  Refusing to back down, Wray started to list everything Elton had managed to destroy. “Three of our greenhouse crops have to be replanted, one area I’m not even sure we’ll ever be able to use again, because he poured straight acid onto it.”

  Pryor and Wray had worked all afternoon to remove the contaminated dirt. They had tested the ground beneath it, relieved to find it wasn’t too acidic. Hopefully, when they filled it back in, the replacement tomato plants would grow.

  Holding up a second finger, Wray said, “Then he ruined a field by mixing seeds, which will need to be dug up. The tractor won’t start and had a lot of damage when it tipped on its side.”

  A fourth finger went up. “Oh, and let’s not forget that he completely destroyed a field by salting it.”

  That had been what Pryor had been reluctant to tell him while Elton had been doing his stunts with the tractor. In Elton’s attempt to help by fertilizing, the man had taken the bags of salt, instead of the manure they used. Elton had claimed he never thought they would use shit to grow anything so he assumed the bags of salt they kept to de-ice the driveway and roads in the winter must have been the fertilizer.

  “It was an honest mistake,” Chadwick claimed. “It’s not as if Elton had ever worked on a farm before.”

  “He should have asked,” Wray said a little too forcefully as the frustration started to boil over.

  Saber growled a warning to Wray low in his throat. He might not exactly be on Chadwick’s side in this, but Saber wasn’t about to let anyone yell at his
mate.

  “He’s still your mate,” Chadwick told him in no uncertain terms. “You are supposed to have his back, but instead, what did you do? You just tossed him away as if he was nothing.”

  The pain and hurt on Elton’s face the moment he realized they were mates and Wray had denied him had haunted him. What Wray didn’t understand, was why? It was obvious to anyone who bothered to look at the flighty man, Elton didn’t have a brain in his head. Case in point, doing a handstand on a tractor in motion.

  Who the fuck did something that stupid? Not an adult, that was for sure. Forcing the guilt way down deep, where he shoved the trauma he’d suffered after his own parents had beat him and left him for dead as an example to others who dared to go against their cackle.

  It was a lesson he’d never forgotten. When his cackle realized he was alive and chased him all over the world to finish the job his parents had started, the need to fit in anywhere he went was driven home over, and over again.

  Never stand out. Never be different. Keep his head down and be like everyone else. After a hundred years, Wray had become an expert at not being noticed. No way was he about to have a mate who would blow all his hard work, not when his cackle was still searching for him.

  If that meant hurting his mate’s feelings, too damn bad. At least they’d both be alive instead of six feet under.

  “Then fate got it wrong,” Wray told them. Not even Saber managed to hide his shock at Wray’s statement. “If you need me to leave the troop, I will.” It wasn’t something Wray wanted to do. Not only did he need to keep an eye on Elton before his mate ended getting himself killed, but Wray had learned long ago, his cackle had no trouble finding him when he was out there on his own.

  Saber shook his head. “Wray, that’s not what we’re saying.”

  Chadwick snorted. “Really? Wray completely turned his back on his mate. He crushed Elton. How exactly is Elton supposed to deal with that when Wray is still in Miracle?”

  “Just keep him away from the farm and I’ll stay out of Miracle,” Wray told them. “He’ll never have to see me.”

  Why did even saying that have his heart breaking into a million pieces? Elton was too much trouble. Wray should be thrilled to be rid of him. So, why wasn’t he?

  “You’re making a mistake,” Saber told him.

  Chadwick laughed. “No. He’s a fucking idiot.”

  The thing was, Wray wasn’t so sure Chadwick was wrong.

  “Nevertheless,” Saber interrupted his mate before he kept insulting Wray. “I will tell Iniko he needs to reassign Elton.”

  “He already did,” Chadwick assured. “Once Iniko saw Elton, he switched his job without Elton having to say a thing.” Chadwick smirked at Wray. “By the way, you think Elton was bad? Wait until you see who Iniko is sending here next.” With that dire warning, Chadwick left, laughing his ass off.

  “Can’t we ask Iniko not to send any more help?” Wray asked Saber. The man was the head of the Council, that should be good for something. Right? “It’s going to take us time to fix what Elton did and I don’t know if we can afford to have any more mistakes like he made, or we won’t have a farm to grow food.”

  Saber nodded. “I can talk to Edrick, but I make no promises. We did offer to help with work for those that need it.”

  Wray knew that. Hell, he wasn’t exactly opposed since there was too much for them to do without more workers, but not if it meant destroying their farm.

  “Thanks.” Not wanting to discuss Elton, or Wray’s rejecting his mate, he turned on his heel and strode from the main house.

  Halfway to the bunkhouse, he realized going home wasn’t what he wanted either. He couldn’t say what made him do it, but Wray headed toward Miracle to check on Elton. He would keep his distance as promised, but Wray couldn’t stop the need building within him to make sure his mate wasn’t doing something else that would get him killed.

  CHAPTER 4

  Unable to be around his friends and their pitying looks, Elton went back down to the stream where Greyson had found him earlier. He sat on the same rock as he stared at the flowing water, wishing he could be a part of something so wild and untamed, as it tumbled and bubbled along the bank, forging a path that carved its mark on the earth.

  That was all Elton ever wanted. To make his own stamp on the world. Despite all he’d endured, Elton had never allowed himself to sacrifice that piece of him. That was before he’d lost his mate.

  Was the rest of the world right? Did Elton have a screw loose? Should he restrain his natural zest for life in order for Wray to accept him?

  Could he even if he wanted to? Elton didn’t think so.

  “Why would you give me a mate who hates me?” he yelled to the sky, wondering if anyone was even listening. No one else ever had, he doubted the Gods would bother.

  “I don’t hate you.”

  Elton screamed. Not a manly sound, either. It was high, nearly ear-piercing, and it sounded like one of those girls in a horror moving being chased by an axe murderer. Of course, that’s the first encounter he had with his mate after being rejected like a stray dog with fleas.

  “What the fuck?” Elton yelled at the man who had broken his heart. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

  There was so much sadness in those chestnut eyes that Elton almost apologized for making his mate feel bad. Then he remembered how cruel Wray had been to him and Elton didn’t think he should be the one to say he was sorry.

  “What are you doing here, anyway?” Elton scowled. “You made it clear earlier you wanted nothing to do with me.”

  He heard his mate give a heavy sigh, but Elton was done talking. If his mate didn’t like Elton’s theatrics, he was more than welcome to leave.

  Except… Elton dropped his shoulders and hunched over, wrapping his arms around himself for comfort. He shouldn’t want Wray to stick around, but he did, even if he doubted Wray would remain anywhere near him.

  “I’m sorry for hurting you.” Wray had moved closer causing Elton to jump when he’d spoken. He’d assumed his mate had left him when he hadn’t said anything for several minutes.

  The obvious lie pissed Elton off and he snorted in annoyance. “Yeah, right.” He probably thought Elton too stupid to know the truth. “You showed how much you cared about my feelings earlier.”

  There were several more minutes of silence, before he heard another long, dragged out sigh. To his surprise, Wray came over to where he was and sat down next to him.

  “I was an ass and I know you have no reason to believe me, but…” Wray lifted his hand to the top of his head, his fingers burrowing into the thick strands for a moment before he fixed those chestnut-colored eyes on Elton. “I am sorry. I wasn’t always like this and I wish I could tell you I’m going to change, but that would be a lie, and I don’t think it’s a good idea to lie to my mate.”

  “But it’s okay to be a dick to him?” Elton said before he could stop himself.

  There was a flash of true remorse on Wray’s face, but then it was gone. “No. I shouldn’t have said what I did. But it also doesn’t change anything. I can’t be mated to someone like you.”

  Wow. Talk about having the knife partially removed from his heart, only to be stabbed again and twisted to make it extra painful. “What?” Elton grumbled angrily. “You came here to apologize so you could hurt me even more?”

  Elton hopped off the rock and glared at the man who had managed a whole new level of breaking his heart. “Well, fuck you, Wray, and the horse you rode in on.”

  Totally prepared to make a dramatic exit, Elton turned on his heel without thinking about the fact that ground had been a bit muddy from the rising stream. His foot slipped and went flying out from under him, which caused his body to start falling to the ground.

  Fearing the worst, he closed his eyes as he waited for the impact of the ground to knock the wind right out of him. Instead, hard steel bands wrapped around him, pulling him back to his feet.

  Elton’s eyes shot
open to find the man who’d humiliated him not once, but twice that day, was holding him, saving Elton from further embarrassing himself. Heat flooded into his face as Elton wished, just once, something would work out for him.

  “Please sit and let me explain,” Wray whispered, his voice soft as it curled around Elton, causing him to nod stupidly.

  He was rewarded by Wray lifting his lips in a half-smile that had his broken heart desperately trying to put itself back together again so it could beat a little faster. It didn’t help his emotional confusion when Wray picked him up and placed him on the rock like he was precious and fragile.

  Elton wanted to beat down that little flame of hope that ignited. He knew he would regret not extinguishing it. Yet, no matter how many times Wray had managed to break his heart in less than a day, Elton couldn’t stop it from flickering to life.

  The heat from Wray’s body being so close to his seeped into his bones, warming him from the slight chill in the night air. He was doing his best to ignore the way his body reacted to the closeness, but it was proving challenging with the way his cock was pressing against his pants. Or how the few pieces of his heart that had managed to stitch together again fluttered in excitement.

  Uncomfortable, Elton reached down and adjusted himself. He glanced sideward at Wray to see if the man noticed and that stupid flame grew stronger when he saw Wray having to adjust his own cock. At least his mate was physically attracted to him. That was something.

  Stop it. Elton had to get it out of his head that his mate would change his mind. The only reason they were sitting there was for Wray to tell him why they could never be together. That should have been enough to stop the optimism that swelled inside of him.

  Mentally slapping himself, Elton tried his best to shove all those feelings as far down as they would go. It was best not to allow them to see the light of day or he’d only end up with his soul crushed.

  “When I was five my parents took me on my first hunt,” Wray began. “I was so excited, even though I hadn’t the first clue what that meant. All I knew was whenever they went out to hunt, they came back with food and the entire cackle would have a bonfire…”