Need Me

by Shelli Stevens

  “Did you have no conscience while you betrayed me?” he asked, keeping his tone matter of fact.

  She groaned. “I could not afford to have a conscience, Brendon.”

  He paused. Her response was not quite what he’d expected. “Maybe you could not afford it, but did you anyway? You have not answered my question.”

  “And I will not. Let me say it again, you will receive no answers from me.”

  Brendon’s lips curled downward as frustration and emptiness settled in his belly.

  “No. I very well may not. But there is something else I will receive from you.” He pulled the knife away from her breast and hurled it to the floor where it clattered loudly. “The submission of your mind and body.”

  Her eyes widened as he reached for the waist of her pants.

  “Brendon, please,” she begged, tugging at her wrists. “This solves nothing.”

  Her pleas came too late as he’d already tugged the fabric off her body and tossed it to the ground as well.

  Her body lay naked now and exposed almost crudely to his censuring gaze.

  His hand curled around one thigh and he pushed her legs apart. Surprise slid through him as he observed the shimmering of arousal between the folds of her pussy.

  She wanted him. Restrained to his bed and being questioned, surely knowing her life lay in his hands, she wanted him. A wave of possessiveness and pleasure rushed through him. But it was mixed with bitterness.

  “If it had been Emmett guarding the lab, would you have fucked him?”

  “If he had wanted me, then yes,” she admitted after a moment, and her lower lip trembled. “But it would not have affected me the way it did when I was with you.”

  Brendon stared at her, her words causing his blood to pound a bit harder with hope. You fool. Again you would let her manipulate your mind?

  He leaned back, pulling his hand from her thigh and scowling.

  “Lies,” he rasped. “You spout nothing but lies from those luscious, poisoned lips!”

  Her mouth tightened, but she did not deny it.

  Moving off the bed, Brendon stood and lifted his jacket from the chair in the nearby corner.

  He could not stay for one more moment. If he stayed he’d just be proving to both of them that he could not resist her. And he could. By the gods he could—and he would! He could not fall under whatever magic she’d seduced him with for the past weeks.

  “Are you leaving me?” her voice rose, a note of surprise in it.

  “I will return.”

  She did not reply and he was thankful for it. Not that he’d expected her to beg him to stay, or to release her. No, she was above that. What she had begged for was her death.

  With disgust, his grip tightened on his jacket and he pressed the button to open the door to his bedchamber. It let out a series of beeps and then slid open.

  Without a backward glance, he left the chamber, with Nika restrained to his bed.

  Chapter 18

  He moved through the hallways, debating where to go. What to do. Only knowing he could not return to his bedchamber or he’d lose what little self-control he still maintained.

  After leaving the housing units, Brendon opened his communication mobile and dialed Emmett. He answered immediately, though Brendon could hear the sounds of people in the background.

  “Damn, my friend,” Emmett swore. “Where are you? Everyone has been asking.”

  “Taking care of…business.”

  “And how is ‘business’?” Emmett asked, his voice lowering now as he obviously tried to keep their conversation quiet.

  “A thorn in my side right now,” he growled. “Where are you?”

  “At the lodge.”

  “I’ll be right there.” He disconnected the line before Emmett could reply.

  It would do him good to put some distance between himself and Nika right now.

  Guilt pricked lightly inside him—that he was leaving her alone and chained to his bed—but he snuffed it out. Compared to the possible alternatives, she actually had it quite good.

  He reached the lodge a short while later and entered the familiar building. The noise from the restaurant greeted him and he followed the sound to seek out his friend.

  A quick glance at the reception desk proved that Molly was not working right now. He forced a smile at the young attendant on duty and then passed her to slip into the restaurant.

  His gaze scanned the room, seeking Emmett.

  “Shit,” he muttered and slowed his pace.

  Emmett was not alone, but was joined by quite the group of people. He had suspected that Molly might be at his side, but not the others. Also at the table were Ryder and Talia, and Ryder’s little sister, Krystal, and her husband, Dillon.

  Gods, he could not face such a large group at this moment. His social skills were about on par with a rabid beast.

  Before he could turn to leave again, Ryder spotted him. He stood and grinned, jerking his hand to beckon him over.

  “Hell,” Brendon muttered and thrust a hand through his hair.

  Talia followed her husband’s gaze and her eyes widened with delight. She stood slowly, hand on her pregnant belly as she grinned at him.

  Seeing no hope for it, he let out a frustrated breath and resumed his walk to the table.

  “Brendon!” Talia cried and opened her arms for an embrace. “I have been hoping you would come by. But where is Doni—er—I meant Rebecca. I forget that she uses a different name now. I would so love to see her again!”

  Brendon slid his arms around her in a quick embrace and met Emmett’s rueful glance over her shoulder.

  “I haven’t the faintest,” he lied briskly and patted her back, pulling away. To change the subject, he turned on his heel and smiled down at Dillon and Krystal. “Well, look at the pair of you. I have not seen you both in likely a year. I see you’re still all aglow from your marriage.”

  Krystal gave a soft laugh and glanced shyly up at her husband. “Indeed. Almost two years now.”

  “Come now,” Dillon spoke. “Where is this girl? Ryder has not ceased to speak of her and how besotted you are. I’m curious to see the woman who has finally tamed the untamable heart.”

  His untamable heart clenched with pain at the mention of Nika, but he was careful to hold a sardonic smile on his expression.

  “Ah, now you are all far too presumptuous,” he murmured with a shake of his head, and decided to simply live up to his former image. “You know I shall never be content to settle with one woman.”

  “You lie!” Talia gasped and narrowed her eyes, placing her hands on her widening hips. “I am not presumptuous. Anyone with a pair of working eyes could see that you’re completely enamored. Now, where is she, Brendon?”

  “Yes.” Molly spoke for the first time. “Where is she?”

  Brendon’s gaze narrowed and swept to her, not liking her biting tone.

  Her eyes were hard, her lips drawn tight as she watched him shrewdly.

  Brendon swept his gaze up to Emmett who shook his head and sighed.

  “I cannot say where Nika is,” Brendon said finally. Which was somewhat the truth. “But I imagine she is off somewhere, lounging and relaxing. Perhaps on a tropical planet?”

  The lounging part was not quite a lie. Why, right now she lounged in his bed.

  “A tropical planet?” Krystal asked. “Did she have plans to travel?”

  “But isn’t she an ambassador from Glorus?” Talia quizzed.

  “Hmm.” Molly shook her head and leaned forward on the table, placing her chin on her steepled fingers. “Are you quite sure you don’t know where she is, Brendon?

  “Yes. Quite.” His tone hardened, and he shot Emmett a glance that clearly said control your woman.

  Emmett gave a slight nod and his hand lowered beneath the table. Molly turned to look at him and their gazes locked. He gave a tiny shake of his head and her mouth tightened.

  Finally she looked away and her cheeks turned pink. Standing
, she muttered, “If you will all excuse me for a moment, I should check on the kitchen staff and see if they are handling the excess business well enough.”

  “Have a seat, Brendon.” Krystal gestured to an empty chair next to her. “We’ve plenty of wine. And honestly, my friend, you look as if you could use a glass.”

  Brendon gave a soft laugh, though he wasn’t all that amused. He seated himself in the chair beside her and accepted the glass Dillon handed him.

  Taking a sip, he relaxed a bit, partly because Molly had left and taken her condemning gaze with her.

  He scowled and took another drink of wine. He had nothing to feel guilty about. Not a damn thing.

  Emmett leaned over to him and cleared his throat. His voice was low as he murmured, “The military is not happy with the breach of the lab and stolen specimens.”

  The other two couples spoke among themselves, giving Brendon a moment to have this quiet conversation with Emmett.

  “No. I don’t imagine they would be,” Brendon muttered.

  He’d made a highly risky move in confiding in Emmett about who Nika truly was. But he knew his friend would keep the secret well—even though, if discovered, both of their careers could be over and they could even be brought up on treason charges.

  “Have you garnered any information from her?” Emmett asked.

  Brendon scowled and gave a tiny shake of his head. “Not really.”

  Just her confession that she would have slept with Emmett if it had been required. Brendon could barely look at his friend with the memory of her words. His insides clenched and the wine he’d drunk tasted like acid in his belly.

  “How long do you intend to keep her?” Emmett queried. “Before you turn her over to the military, which, might I add, is going to be quite tricky without arousing suspicions.”

  “Yes. I’m aware of how complex this situation is.” Or to put it plainly, the complete fucking mess he’d created.

  Brendon pinched the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb and bit back a harsh sigh. He knew he should have turned Nika over the minute he’d captured her. But everything within him had protested that he hold off. At least for a bit.

  “Molly knows very little,” Emmett added firmly. “Only that you have Nika and that she is being treated well.”

  Brendon grunted.

  It was a bit more than he’d prefer Molly know. But he knew how determined the little lodge owner could be when she set her mind to it.

  “I will ensure she stays out of trouble,” Emmett assured him.

  Brendon gave a curt nod. “I know you will and thank you.”

  “Nika is still in your bedchamber?”

  “Yes. Restrained to the bed.”

  Emmett gave a soft laugh. “You are a kinky fool, my friend.”

  “Hardly. I’ve not touched her since I brought her there.” Well, just a bit. But he hadn’t followed through.

  “Is that so?” Emmett’s brows rose. “You have far more restraint than I would have, my friend. If I learned my woman was guilty of such…”

  “Punishment in flesh would only be the beginning.”

  Brendon’s hand tightened on the glass and he forced a slow breath in. But it didn’t stop the images of Nika secured to his bed from filling his mind. Naked. Aroused. Surprised that he would leave her.

  His eyes drifted closed.

  He was trying so hard to prove to himself that he didn’t need her. Could control his physical response to her. But, why? Before the week was out he’d be turning her over to the military. Why not seek his own revenge while he still had her? Use her body as she had used his.

  His cock jerked inside his trousers and his blood heated.

  Emmett was right. He would not deny himself the pleasure of her body. And this time, that is all it would be. Sex. Making use of her as if she were just some whore on the street. There needn’t be any emotions while he fucked her. Hell, it had never been a problem with the women he’d bedded in the past. It would not be such a trial to revert to his former ways.

  And why shouldn’t he? She had used him. Betrayed him. Feigned something so close to love. He’d almost convinced himself that he deeply cared for her. And then she’d robbed his planet blind.

  The anger burned hot in his gut, mingling with his desire for her. It was a toxic combination, but not one he intended to deny.

  Pushing back his chair, he set his glass back upon the table with steady hands and a renewed purpose.

  “Brendon? Are you leaving so soon?” Talia asked, obviously disappointed.

  “I am. I apologize, everyone.” He held Emmett’s gaze for a moment and a cold smile slid over his mouth. “But I have just realized I have business that needs to be dealt with.”

  * * * *

  Nika twisted her wrists in the metal clamps, knowing there was very little chance of freeing herself. Another minute passed before she gave up and let her arms go slack again.

  “Gods. Why do I even bother?” she muttered.

  Closing her eyes, another tremble slid over her naked body. It was only partly due to the chill in the air.

  Even though it had to have been at least an hour since Brendon had left, she still remained suspended in that painfully intense state of arousal. And yet he’d walked away from her—perfectly calm and composed—like she was some slice of meat at the market that he’d decided to pass up.

  She’d grown so used to seeing his gaze upon her full of amusement and desire, that—gods—it hurt to see it otherwise. To see that look of disgust now. He hated her. Felt betrayed. Which was completely justified, but it did not ease the ache in her heart. Nor the guilt. And the complete helplessness of the situation she was now in.

  And what did you expect? That he would still want to bed you? That he would forget all else but the passion between you both?

  Closing her eyes, she refused the threat of tears and the sting of pain in her heart. She couldn’t let herself be foolish and naïve.

  For a trained soldier, she certainly had her weakness. And unfortunately that weakness now kept her a prisoner in his room.

  There was a series of beeps from the door and she went rigid on the bed. Her heart thundered in her chest as she lifted her head to see who would enter, though, she had little doubt.

  The door slid open and Brendon strode through. Impossibly tall, he filled the room as he made his way toward her. His strides were hard. Angry. And when he leaned over the bed and grabbed her chin in his hand, she could see the determination and arousal in his eyes.

  “First I am going to fuck you,” he said, quite calmly. “And then you will tell me everything.”

  She’d never fainted in her life, but right about now she felt close. Her head spun, leaving her lightheaded and weak. Her mouth went dry as his gaze ran possessively over her.

  Fear shivered down her spine. Yes, she wanted him, but not like this.

  Her nipples stiffened and she swallowed hard, unable to tear her gaze from his or even attempt to deny his statement.

  Seeming satisfied by her acquiescence, Brendon released her chin and stepped back from her. His mouth curved into a grim smile as he reached for the fastening of his trousers.

  She watched him pull his cock free. He was already long and hard—as if he’d been thinking about doing this for the past hour.

  He came to kneel on the bed in front of her and pushed her legs wide.

  Nika drew in a sharp breath. Even if she could have resisted him, she wouldn’t have. This moment was as much a part of her destiny as having been chosen to come to this planet.

  She closed her eyes, torn between wanting him and hating what he was about to do. She could not stare into the eyes of the man who now hated her. It was different now. Ugly. And she knew once he did this—took her this way—everything would change.

  Remaining perfectly still, she waited. Waited for him to plunge himself into her without any preliminaries.

  When it didn’t come, confusion swept through her and she opened
her eyes again.

  He watched her now. His gaze was both furious and tormented.

  Something crumbled inside her and tears pricked at her eyes. “Brendon… I’m so sorry.”

  “No,” his voice broke with emotion and anguish flashed across his face. “No, Nika. It is far too late for apologies.”

  His entire body went rigid and she felt him move forward between her thighs. His cock nudged her entrance.

  Her throat tightened and a tear crept to the corner of her eye.

  Brendon’s fingers dug into her hips and as she watched, his expression melted into something else. Something so vulnerable and helpless…something so foreign on the face of a soldier.

  “I loathe you, Nika,” he muttered brokenly, even as his grip on her hips loosened. “I hate what you’ve done to me and to the military. But especially to me.”

  She blinked and the tear slid down her cheek, but there were more to take its place.

  The wall that she’d built up inside her came crashing down in an avalanche of emotions. All the fears, sorrows, and injustices in her life raged to the surface. And the guilt. Gut-wrenching guilt and regret for what she’d done to Brendon.

  She was not strong and invincible. She didn’t have any control. What a joke that was. Whether it was her owners on Zortou or the people who’d picked her for this mission, she’d always just been a pawn in someone’s game.

  “Gods, Nika.” Brendon’s cock slid away from her and he fell forward, cupping her hips more gently now. His cheek settled on her stomach and he let out a ragged sigh.

  The silent tears flowed freely now. When she tried to drag in a breath her whole body shuddered and she let out a choked sob.

  Brendon lifted his head and stared at her. Some of the anguish had disappeared after his confession. His gaze was almost pensive and entirely too calm.

  He crawled forward until he knelt next to her shoulders. Her pulse quickened and she tried to blink away some of the tears. She willed herself to salvage what little pride she had left.

  Reaching past her, he fumbled with the metal shackles that circled her wrists. A moment later there was a beep and the metal retracted.